Letters From Parents
The two school days before the weekend were filled with lessons where the Professors went over theory and what they would be learning that year. — While Remus was listening intently the same could not be said for his three new friends, if he dared call them that. Peter was distracted from the Professors lectures by filling parchments with different doodles, appearing quite studious at first glance however betrayed by a closer look.
Whereas Sirius and James appeared to be terribly bored and preferred to spend the lessons making paper aeroplanes and seeing how many of them they could aim at other students; losing Gryffindor a total of 15 points by the end of Friday.
The four boys entered the Great Hall for dinner, — Remus’ nose filling with the mouth watering scent of roast beef, — taking their seats at the Gryffindor table. Remus quirked an eyebrow in amusement as Sirius flopped down on the bench with a dramatic flair only able to be produced by Sirius Black as he had quickly come to learn. — ”You’re such a swot Lupin, what’s the point of being here if you’re not gonna have any fun.” Sirius waved his hands in a wide arc before gesturing at Remus who had started to ladle potatoes onto his plate.
”I’m here to learn actually, you should try that too, could do you wonders.” Remus swiftly dodged a bread roll aimed at his head, his lips curling up at James and Peter’s snickering at Sirius’ pout.
Remus tuned out the chattering around him much more interested in the contents of his plate until a sudden hush fell over the students as a great barn owl came swooping down, dropping a fiery red envelope in Sirius’ plate. Remus looked at the letter confused as post was usually delivered in the mornings, growing even more confused at the worried look in James’ and Peter’s faces while Sirius’ seemed to have lost all its colour.
”What’s that?” Remus asked curiously, receiving a deep defeated sigh from Sirius in response. ”A Howler, from my mother,” Sirius scowled down at the letter before swiftly ripping it open.
Walpurga Black’s voice filled the hall. ”SIRIUS ORION BLACK HOW DARE YOU!” The shrieking voice of Sirius’ mother forced Remus to cover his ears as the howler continued, “YOUR FATHER AND I ARE INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU MINGLING WITH BLOOD TRAITORS AND MUDBLOODS. HOW COULD THE HEIR OF THE ANCIENT AND NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK GET SORTED INTO GRYFFINDOR. IT TOOK EVERY OUNCE OF ME TO NOT BLAST YOU OFF THE TAPESTRY AND DISOWN YOU RIGHT THIS INSTANT!”
Remus watched as Sirius scowled and yelled back at the letter, “Do it then! Not like I want to live with you either!”
“YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH THIS INSTANT, I KNOW YOUR TERRIBLE ATTITUDE AND YOU JUST SPOKE BACK DIDN’T YOU! YOU ARE NOT TO SPEAK UNLESS GIVEN PERMISSION.”
The whole hall fell silent in shock, even Sirius’ mouth snapped shut at his mothers words.
“WE EXPECT YOU TO PROVE YOURSELF WORTHY AFTER RIDICULING OUR FAMILY LIKE THIS. YOUR COUSIN WILL BE KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU AND COME CHRISTMAS WE EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND PROVE YOUR WORTH AS THE HEIR! BREAK ANY RULES AND YOU’LL WISH YOU HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!”
The hall erupted into whispers as the howler burst into flames and Sirius buried his face in his hands and moved to stand up. Remus looked at his friend worriedly before sharing equally concerned looks with James and Peter before rising to follow Sirius out of the Great Hall. Remus grabbed a few slices of bread for himself and Sirius, who had yet to eat anything, his plate untouched across Remus. They were however stopped before the doors by a 5th year Slytherin girl with long sleek hair and sharp eyes. Remus noted the considerable resemblance between her and Sirius, her sharp citrus perfume filling Remus’ nose uncomfortably. Remus took a step back to avoid being too close to the irritating smell at the same time as Sirius took a step forward.
“What do you want, Narcissa?”
“As you heard Aunt Walpurga has told me to keep an eye on you so be a good boy and not cause trouble,” Remus’ eyes met Narcissa’s as she sniffed at him before glancing at Peter and James. “And choose your friends better Sirius, no need to taint the family name more by associating with blood traitors and half-breeds, you’ve done enough already don’t make this harder for yourself.”
Remus’ stomach dropped at her words, dread clouding his mind. Could Sirius’ cousin know? Why else would she call him that? As panic was starting to take over Remus he felt someone tugging at his sleeve meeting James’ gaze. “C’mon let’s go.” The four boys slipped past Narcissa rushing up the marble staircase, heading to the Gryffindor common room. – On the seventh floor instead of going to the portrait of the Fat Lady, Sirius stopped and turned to Remus, “Can you come with me for a bit?”
He glanced at James and Peter before nodding to Sirius and following after him his nerves boiling under his skin. Sirius led him to a side hallway lined with suits of armors and a painting of old witches at the farwall. Remus glanced at the armors trying to stay in the middle of the hallway as they made him uneasy before turning to Sirius as he spoke.
“I’m sorry about my cousin, um she isn’t exactly pleasant she shouldn’t have called you a half-breed just because of your mother.” Remus studied Sirius as he hung his head low and winced slightly at the term “half-breed”. Suddenly it dawned on Remus relief washing over him.
“S’all right, I’m not ashamed of being halfblood it’s all bollocks anyway, the blood stuff.”
Sirius’ whole body sagged in relief which amused Remus considering the internal panic he was having while Sirius was worrying about how his cousin chose to refer to his blood status.
As they joined the other boys in the common room and shared the bread Remus had picked up they started a game of gobstones, letting the fun wash away the cinders of the howler and Narcissa.
After losing two games against Peter and Sirius, Remus excused himself from the game opting to lay on his bed to read. With the full moon nearing Remus’ bones ached more and it was hard to get comfortable. Giving up on reading Remus grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill to start a letter to his parents, he had informed them of his sorting but was yet to tell them about his new friends, nervous of his father’s reaction to it as he has advised Remus to not trust anyone and keep a distance between himself and other lest they find out about Remus being a werewolf. Remus worried about it too but was far too excited about finally having friends to really think about it. He had been surprised how quickly the others had taken a liking to him and the feeling of comfort and belonging he got when around them even after such a short time.
Remus set his writing supplies on the table, the chair squeaking under him as he folded his legs under himself and got ready to write, dipping his quill in the ink pot. He scratched his chin in thought before placing his quill on the parchment creating a small ink blotch, a habit his father had tried to teach him out of.
”Dear mum and dad,
I’ve enjoyed school a lot and become great friends with my roommates; James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black! They’re all purebloods but are really nice to me, though I think Sirius’ family isn’t as nice.
Professor McGonagall told me only she, Professor Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey know about my problem and that they have everything prepared for me to spend full moons safely so you don’t need to worry about me.
I miss you lots, write soon.
Love, Remus”
Remus folded the parchment and slipped in an envelope, sealing it with a blank wax stamp. Remus almost jumped out of his skin as a’ hand touched his shoulder. Remus whipped around finding Sirius behind him, holding his hands up apologetically. ”Sorry Lupin didn’t mean to scare you.”
”S’okay, did you need something?” Remus cleared his throat, ruffling the curls brushing at his neck.
”Done writing?” Sirius was giving Remus a lopsided grin that forebode mischief. ”Yes…what are you planning?” Remus narrowed his eyes at Sirius and then at James who was hopping from one foot to another grinning widely near the door. ”We will go explore the castle so if you’re ready, time to move Lupin!” Remus’ eyes narrowed even more at Sirius as he pointed out ”It’s past curfew, how are we supposed to not get caught sneaking around?”
— ”Well you see Remus I have something to help us do just that.” James was grinning at Remus, his eyes sparkling with excitement. Remus cocked his head to the side, raising one eyebrow in suspicion.
”Show him James!” Peter’s excited voice came from near James’ bed as he tossed a clump of fabric to James. He unfolded the fabric and draped it over himself and Remus gaped at where James had previously stood which now no longer held the body of one James Potter. He immediately knew what the fabric James had was and he reached over to the spot where James had been standing.
”No way, that’s a real invisibility cloak?” Remus’ fingers found and glided over the shimmery fabric in awe.
”Sure is, dad gave it to me before I left, told me not to tell mum.” James' disembodied voice answered before he draped the cloak over his shoulders leaving only his head visible as he twirled around in a circle.
”Let’s go, we can send off Remus’ letter and explore from there.” Peter said while untying his tie and throwing it in the vague direction of his bed. ”Great thinking Pete! Gather under lads.” James held the cloak up as the boys scurried under it. The four of them fit under it comfortably which surprised Remus as the cloak hadn’t seemed all that big from just looking at it.
The four boys carefully walked down the stairs to the common room, dodging some fifth and seventh years who were still studying, and slipped out of the portrait hole to the empty corridors of Hogwarts. They looked at each other excitedly before scurrying on towards the owlery, dodging a pair of patrolling prefects and managing to find a secret passageway behind a tapestry when Peter had tripped and fallen through it. They decided to come back to it after sending Remus’ letter.
Calling down one of the school owls Remus tied his letter to its leg and sent it off after giving the owl a treat. As Remus moved to retreat back to where his friends were, dodging under a metal bar he straightened up a bit too quickly and hit the back of his head on the metal with a loud clang. Remus crouched down holding his aching head while sending daggers at Sirius who had dissolved into a fit of laughter.
”All right mate? Does it hurt?” James asked while trying to hide his own laughter.
”Of course it hurts, are you daft? The bar is bloody metal,” Remus gritted out while James’ laughter finally broke through and Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter that echoed against the stone walls, throwing his head back.
”Merlin Remus, you’re brilliant,” Sirius wheezed out while wiping tears from his eyes.
Remus grumbled under his breath all the way back to the seventh floor tapestry they came across before, while Peter kept sending his amused glances at Remus’ colourful vocabulary.
After about two hours of exploring the empty corridors, finding out there was a shortcut from the 7th floor to the 4th behind the tapestry and a near encounter with Mrs. Norris, the caretaker's cat, the boys receded back to Gryffindor tower to their dorm, clambering onto their beds.
Remus listened to his friend's soft snoring as he tried to find a comfortable position, the waxing moon making his bones ache painfully and keeping him awake. As Remus struggled to settle his ears perked up at the sound of a sniffle. Remus sat up in his bed peeking through the curtains listening closely. Another sniffle, it was coming from Sirius’ bed. Remus wasn’t sure what took over him as he left his bed and quietly padded over to Sirius’ and peeked through the curtains.
Sirius’ startled face stared back at him quickly wiping his face from tears. Remus cleared his throat, “Can I come in?” a sheepish smile on his face. Sirius studied Remus for a moment before nodding and scooting over on his bed. Remus climbed to Sirius’ bed, the curtains closing behind him. The two boys stared at each other for a moment before Remus gathered his courage, “I heard you crying, um… do you want to talk about it. My ma says talking about what’s bothering you helps.”
Sirius gave Remus a watery smile and wiped his nose on his pyjama sleeve, “It’s my mum… you heard the howler, I should’ve been a slytherin but I failed, I keep disappointing my parents… it’s scary.”
Remus frowned thinking about how different Sirius’ life must be at home from his. “Do you want to be like everyone in your family?” Sirius’ eyes went to his fingers as he fidgeted with them in thought, “I don’t think I want to be… I was happy when the sorting hat said Gryffindor but I was also scared.”
“If you’re happy that’s all that matters, it’s your life in the end and you should live it for yourself not others.”
Sirius stared at Remus causing Remus’ cheeks to flush, “Blimey Remus, you’re really something.” A soft smile graced Sirius’ lips, “Thanks.”
* * *
The four boys were quieter than usual from their midnight exploration, resulting in Peter almost falling asleep into his porridge and Sirius nursing a cup dark of tea with his head lolling down every minute or so. James seemed just as energetic as every morning while Remus was ladling food into his mouth more hungry than usual.
“How can you eat so much after sleeping so little?” Sirius grumbled while taking another sip of his tea, “It’s insane.”
Remus shrugged, “Just hungry.” However his thoughts moved to the oncoming moon and how the wolf inside him made him near ravenous the closer to the moon it got, his eyebrows furrowing in thought as the food before him was now making him nauseous.
Remus was brought out of his stupor by two letters dropping to his eggs. Remus quickly grabbed the letters and smiled at seeing they were from his mum and dad. Remus slipped the letters inside his pocket and stood up, “I’ll go read my letters in the dorm.” He was out of the Great Hall before his friends had time to say anything, taking the stairs up two at a time ignoring his aching muscles. He didn’t want to have to answer any questions regarding the contents of the letters, he preferred keeping his family close to himself and away from others.
Remus settled on his bed cross legged, deciding to read his mother’s letter first, ripping the letter open easily.
“Dear Remus
It’s wonderful to hear you are having a great time, I told you there was no need to worry. I miss you greatly already but it warms my heart to know my little boy is experiencing the world and making friends. Please tell me all about your time at school and your new friends. It’s rather lonely without you around but I’ll manage so don’t you worry. Yesterday the neighbour's cat came for a visit. She's a sweet old thing but your father isn’t awfully fond of her, of course I sneaked her some sausage though it was much harder than with your help.
Love, mum”
Remus smiled down at his mother’s letter before tucking it under his pillow and picking up his father’s letter.
“Remus
It’s good to hear the school has taken ample precautions to keep you from other students during full moons. Dumbledore is a great wizard and I’m sure he has put the best precautions into action.
Like I’ve told you before Remus you can’t trust anyone. It’s not good to trust your roommates too much. Remember to keep a distance; they all come from pureblood families and won’t think fondly of a werewolf. If anyone finds out you’ll have to leave school be very careful.
Dad”
Remus frowned at his father’s letter, all the excitement leaving him. Maybe his father was right and he should take note to keep some distance between him and his new friends.
He tucked his father’s letter to his bedside drawer under some books and quills. Just as Remus closed his drawer the door to the room fell open as James, Sirius and Peter filed inside. “Remus! We’re going to the lake, and we heard some 3rd years talking about the giant squid in the lake and we’re going to go see it. Let’s go!” Sirius’ excitement was palpable in the air making Remus’ lips tug upwards. He didn’t know there was a giant squid in the lake and he really wanted to see it, however his father’s words came to the forefront of his mind as he shook his head sadly.
“Just go without me, I was planning on going to the library.”
“You can go there after, come on Remus!” James looked at Remus with an excited sparkle in his eyes.
“No really, just go without me. I really wanted to go to the library now.”
After assuring his friends – if he could call them that anymore – that they should go without him, Remus picked up his bag and headed to the library. Surely the library could be just as exciting as the giant squid. He’d managed this far in his life without friends and he could keep doing it, it was the safest option after all.
Just outside the library Remus crossed paths with the red headed Gryffindor girl, Lily Evans. He didn’t think much of her, she was studious and nice to him when they happened to talk but Remus didn’t know much of her besides her name. She was together with a Slytherin boy with black, rather greasy looking, hair. As Remus passed them the Slytherin boy sneered at him making Remus hold onto his bag tighter and send a glare back at the boy before hurrying inside the library.