September 1st
Remus sat in the empty train compartment, scanning the platform outside. Platform 9 ¾ was filled with new and returning students, all either saying teary goodbyes to their families or rushing onto the train to find their friends. Just a few minutes ago Remus had been amongst the sea of people next to his father and mother, standing in awe of the Hogwarts express. Remus had to practically wrench his hand out of his father’s strong grip and quickly dodge his reaching hand, sprinting to the train so his father couldn’t stop him from boarding entirely.
The evening before September 1st had been tense in the Lupin household, it was the most Remus had seen his father worry since the day he was bitten. Lyall Lupin kept insisting it was far too dangerous and risky for Remus to attend Hogwarts and how Remus getting the letter must have been a mistake, a bluff, a mess up in the system. At that point Hope Lupin had interrupted her husband, with her son held close to her side: “Lyall, Remus will be alright Dumbledore himself delivered the letter, remember? Besides, Remus wants to go.”
His mother was right Remus had been brimming with excitement ever since Dumbledore had arrived at their doorstep letter in hand and sat down on their living room floor with Remus. At the time he hadn’t been aware of just who Dumbledore was and found the old man rather odd as he joined Remus in playing gobstones while they waited for Lyall to arrive. However, his father’s continuous worrying has made Remus’ excitement waver, starting to think maybe his father was right and someone like him shouldn’t be allowed at Hogwarts. His father had been right so far and maybe this time too it would have been better for Remus to stay back home and not expose himself to the world outside their little home.
Remus pushed these thoughts away once more, reminding himself of his mother’s reassuring words; getting the letter meant he was welcome at Hogwarts. Letting his eyes roam over the people gathered on the platform once more his eyes landed on a family who looked awfully stiff and haughty. The mother had her dark hair pulled into a tight bun, her chin held high, her hand holding a young boy’s hand. She appeared to be lecturing a boy around Remus’ age who had dark curly hair, the same sharp chin and cheekbones as his mother and appeared to be highly bored of his mother’s words.
The train’s whistle blew making the rest of the students rush to board the train while the parents were left on the platform to wave their goodbyes. Remus noted the woman pulling her younger son away while he seemed to be desperately searching for his brother in the train windows.
Remus sighed pushing open his book staring blankly at the letters filling the white pages while his anxiety for the school year grew; what if he didn’t get sorted to any house and had to leave? — What if he couldn’t do magic like everyone else because he was different?
Remus’ spiralling thoughts were interrupted as the boy from the platform slid the compartment door open, his eyes sliding over Remus.
“Can I sit here?” the boy sat down without bothering to wait for an answer from Remus. Remus pursed his lips in slight annoyance, ‘why bother asking if you’re not going to wait for an answer’. He kept his thoughts to himself and opted to simply nod at the boy, finding his tongue to be much too heavy to form any proper words and his closed book much more interesting.The boy had to have had the poshest accent Remus had heard in his life causing a trickle of insecurity to run down his spine. His own welsh accent had always been rather strong as he picked it up from his mother.
Neither boy had time to do much more as the compartment door slid open once more and a boy; with the unruliest dark hair Remus had ever seen and glasses perched atop his nose, followed by a smaller boy with dirty blond hair and rosy cheeks entered the compartment.
”Mind if we join you?”
Remus only nodded again — more nervous now with so many new people around him — while Sirius offered a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders and motioned for the two boys to take seats.
”I’m James Potter, and this is Peter.” the boy with the dark hair and glasses announced happily while flopping down unceremoniously on the seat next to Sirius. — ”Pettigrew,” The other boy – Peter – added while settling down next to Remus much more calmly than his friend had done.
“Sirius Black.” Sirius introduced himself as properly as he had to Remus just moments prior.
“Black?” James whistled low and steady, “I’ve heard of your family.”
Remus noted that James was looking quite warily at Sirius after learning of his name
“Yes well the Blacks are an ancient and pure family and part of the sacred 28.” Sirius sniffed, raising his nose high in the air haughtily. Remus scrunched his nose in distaste at the way the boy spoke, not to mention he wasn’t too familiar with the old wizarding families nor did he ever understand the point of the sacred 28. “I’m not like them though.” Sirius added earnestly after noticing the other boys’ reactions.
“Well that’s good, then we can be friends.” James states simply which puzzled Remus enough to speak up. “Why could you not be his friend if he was like his family?”
The three boys turned their attention to him, almost seeming to have forgotten Remus’ presence. “Well my parents don’t like them.” James stated simply, “What did you say your name was?” Sirius piped in.
“I didn’t.” Remus scratched at his chin awkwardly, “I’m uh, Remus Lupin.”
“Lupin? That’s an old family shouldn’t you be familiar with the old families.” Sirius could have come off as condescending if Remus would have cared enough about the subject. He shrugged, “Well my ma’s not a witch so we never really cared about that stuff.”
All three boys perked up at that and Sirius spoke up, “Your mum is a muggle?”
Remus stared blankly at the boys, bristling under their curious eyes “Yeah, got a problem?”
“No! No, I was just surprised, it’s cool.” Sirius hurried to answer.
“Have you got lots of muggle things at home?” Peter asked.
“A few, my ma doesn’t really like magic too much, says it’s a hassle.”
After that the conversation flowed easily between the four boys, though the topic of Sirius’ family was avoided. Remus listened intently as the three boys talked excitedly about quidditch, trying to understand all the new terms he was hearing. Lyall had never been big on quidditch so Remus knew almost nothing about the sport but found it interesting nevertheless. After a while the conversation switched gears with James’ question.
”What houses do you think you’ll be in? I’ll be a Gryffindor obviously, it’s the best house though I guess I wouldn’t mind Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw either.” James puffed his chest out proudly in a way that frankly looked ridiculous to Remus.
”I hope I get Gryffindor too.” Peter piped up immediately looking wistful.
After a quick glance towards Remus, it was Sirius’ turn to speak; ”I’ll probably be in Slytherin it’s expected of me, my whole family has been Slytherins” — Remus thought he saw a flicker of insecurity flash in Sirius’ eyes, but didn’t have time to dwell on it as he continued, “I wouldn’t want to be a Hufflepuff though, it sounds boring.”
After Sirius’ musing Remus felt all eyes on him again feeling discomfort creeping in again at being watched so intently.
”I’m not sure, maybe Ravenclaw, like my dad?” Remus managed to blunder out despite his sudden resurgence of nerves.
Remus’ nerves were thrumming through him as the conversation brought his mind back to the possibility of no house accepting him. The other boys didn’t seem to notice his internal struggle as they went back to conversing amongst themselves leaving him to gather himself and watch the passing hills through the train window.
* * *
All the boys were buzzing with sugar from the treats on the trolley, ready for some real food and were excitedly chattering about Hogwarts, tensions at the start of the ride long forgotten as the train started to slow down pulling into the Hogsmeade station. All four boys hurriedly pulled on their school robes — James practically jumping up the walls with excitement — and joined the stream of students leaving the train. The nerves churned in Remus’ stomach as he and his new friends joined the other first years in front of a giant man beckoning the first years to follow him.
Hagrid — as Remus quickly learned — was the Hogwarts groundskeeper charged in guiding the first years into boats of four. As Remus sat next to Sirius in the small boat he couldn’t help the wrenching in his gut as he looked over the edge and saw the dark waters, deciding the best thing was to stay very still and keep his eyes forward. The boats glided across the lake, the air filled with nervous and excited murmurs of the kids waiting to see Hogwarts for the first time.
”My dad says the best view of Hogwarts is from the lake.”
James’ excited whisper was followed by gasps of awe as the castle came into view. Remus’ eyes widened at the size of the castle and he couldn’t distinguish if the fluttering in his stomach was from nerves or excitement. The castle was a big hulking thing rising over the trees and casting its reflection on the lake waters as the lights in the windows twinkled like stars. He couldn’t believe that was where he’d be spending his year, it seemed impossible just that morning he had been sitting at their kitchen table drinking tea with his mum and now he was here ready to start learning magic.
With the board docked they followed Hagrid up a staircase that seemed to enter under the castle and down different corridors. Hagrid led the first years through giant oak doors and through the entrance hall towards a stern looking witch. Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun and her lips pressed in a tight line as she observed the new students. Remus felt himself cower under her gaze, feeling the need to smooth down his hair and fix his rumpled clothes.
”I am Professor McGonagall; the head of Gryffindor house. You will enter the hall after me and your sorting will start, I advise all of you to smarten up before that. Now I’ll explain the sorting ceremony; you will be called to the front one by one and sorted to your respective houses that will act as your family during your time here — now line up and follow after me.”
Remus’ stomach dropped at the same time as his eyes widened in awe as the giant doors to the great hall opened before him.
Remus gaped at the ceiling of the great hall, mesmerised by the enchanted ceiling mirroring the night sky, stars twinkling as the moon shone bright. Remus’ eyes were brought down by Sirius tugging on his sleeve to stop, so that Remus wouldn’t walk straight into the student in front of him. Remus gave Sirius a sheepish smile as he gave Remus a cheeky wink. Their attention was quickly pulled to the front as Professor McGonagall started addressing the hall of students.
”I will call each of you by your name in alphabetical order and you will come up front and sit on the stool while the sorting hat will be placed on your heads.”
A few murmurs were heard among the first years as the nervous energy grew among them.
”Liam Abott” McGonagall’s voice was clear and a small raven haired boy startled to hurry for his sorting. The hat sat on his head for only a moment before bellowing out; ”RAVENCLAW”. Abott joined the Ravenclaw table who were clapping and cheering excitedly as the first new student joined their table.
Remus’ focus was now mostly on his nerves again, fears of not getting sorted to any house, getting kicked out and forced to go back home swirling in his mind causing his stomach to swoop nauseatingly. His attention was quickly brought back to the sorting as Sirius was called and he moved to leave Remus’ side, sending him a quick nervous smile. The hat sat on Sirius' head for a bit before it bellowed out; ”GRYFFINDOR”, murmurs filled the hall as Sirius stood up. Remus noticed Sirius’ eyes widening a panicked look taking over his face as he hesitated to move to the Gryffindor table.
A few more students were called — one more Ravenclaw and two Hufflepuffs — before a girl with fiery red hair was called.
”Lily Evans”
The hat had barely sat on her head before it bellowed out; ”GRYFFINDOR”, the girl rushed to join Sirius at the Gryffindor table, her red hair flowing after her. After her a couple Slytherins and one more Ravenclaw got sorted.
”Remus Lupin”
Remus’ heart dropped to his stomach as he hastily made his way to the front, giving a nervous smile to James’ and Peter’s huge smiles and thumbs ups.
Before he knew it Remus was sitting on the stool and McGonagall had placed the sorting hat on his head, the hat covering his eyes engulfing his vision in darkness. Remus didn’t dare breathe as he stared to the dark inside of the hat sitting rigid as a board.
”Ah a clever mind, hmm very clever I see, you’d do great in Ravenclaw. A thirst for knowledge and a wild spirit, ah what’s this hmm I see — a brave soul and a loyal heart, I know just where to put you —”
”GRYFFINDOR”
Remus rose to his legs shakily as the Gryffindors cheered for him. Making his way as fast as he could to the table he took a seat next to Sirius flashing him a dazed smile. — Remus couldn’t believe he had been accepted and more than that considered suitable for more than one house! — Remus sat in a daze barely registering as Mary Macdonald and Marlene McKinnon got sorted into Gryffindor.
Dorcas Meadowes became the first girl sorted into Slytherin and after her it was Peter’s turn. Remus focused back on the sorting and waited to see where Peter would go. Peter sat on the stool for what felt like an eternity before he too got sorted into Gryffindor. Now it was just James — of his newfound acquaintances — who was not sorted and the three boys at Gryffindor table shared nervous glances with each other.
”James Potter”
Remus looked as James dashed excitedly over to the stool while Professor McGonagall pursed her lips at him. The hat had barely touched James’ hair before it bellowed out; ”GRYFFINDOR”, and James was dashing over to sit with them with a huge grin plastered on his face. Remus smiled at James as he plopped down across from him, and reached over to high five Sirius, while Peter and Remus looked at each other in amusement, shaking their heads.
Remus wasn’t paying attention to the rest of the sorting or Dumbledore’s speech that followed after the only thing on his mind was the pure happiness that he had been accepted, that he belonged! Remus couldn’t wait to write to his parents and tell the good news, though his stomach grumbling swiftly distracted him from that now more focused on waiting for the feast to start. Remus didn’t need to wait long before the table in front of him was filled with food — he had gasped in awe as the mounds of food appeared out of thin air making his mouth water instantly — Remus ladled his plate full of potatoes, sausages, greens and mushrooms in a delicious thick sauce. The four boys chatted happily while eating and getting to know the girls sorted into Gryffindor — James was extremely keen on Lily, which Sirius found hilarious — they found out both Lily and Mary were muggleborn while Marlene was a halfblood like Remus.
When everyone had finished the food changed to desserts and suddenly the tables were swaying under the weight of all the intricate cakes, pastries and pies that appeared before the students. Remus excitedly dug in wanting to taste everything — Sirius and James took great pleasure in giving Remus bites of everything they could reach — Remus happily accepting everything, stuffing his mouth full.
”How are you able to eat all that Remus?” Peter looked at Remus eyes wide with disbelief while Remus just grinned at him through a mouthful of treacle tart and gave a noncommittal shrug in response.
As Remus felt full, satisfied and sleepy he rose to follow the other Gryffindor first years in being led to their common room by the prefects when Remus’ drowsiness was swept away by Professor McGonagall appearing next to him.
”Mr Lupin, please come with me.”
Remus quickly nodded in response and spared a quick — what he hoped was a reassuring — smile to his three new friends who were looking at him curiously and took a few running steps to keep pace with Professor McGonagall’s quick strides.
Professor McGonagall led Remus through different hallways, up the marble staircase and multiple moving staircases, that made Remus’ knees wobble as he hurried to stay as close to Professor McGonagall as possible. They stopped in front of a door on the seventh floor next to a suit of armour and a painting of three old witches that waved happily to Remus. Remus gave a quick wave back before following Professor McGonagall inside her office. The room had a big desk in the middle, with two plush armchairs placed in front of it facing the table. Bookshelves lined the back wall and Remus’ eyes scanned over the ancient looking books. Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and gestured for Remus to take a seat in an armchair while she took a seat behind the table studying Remus with sharp eyes making Remus slump his shoulders inwards in an attempt to make himself as small as possible.
Professor McGonagall pushed a small tin towards Remus before settling down. “Have a biscuit.”
Remus reached and took a cinnamon biscuit holding it unsurely before popping it in his mouth savouring the taste as the biscuit melted on his tongue.
”Mr Lupin, as your head of house I am aware of your situation and promise you we will do our best to accommodate you to best support your learning.” McGonagall’s eyes softened as she looked at Remus, while he shifted awkwardly in his seat. The previously sweet treat now left a sour taste in his mouth as he felt slightly ill.
”Besides myself, only Professor Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey know of your situation. We have arranged a place for you to spend the full moons at and you will meet Madam Pomfrey after dinner for her to take you there. She will come fetch you back after the moon has set.”
Remus looked at Professor McGonagall owlishly for a minute before his mind catched up and he shook his head to clear his thoughts before nodding in understanding. McGonagall studied Remus for a moment before giving him a soft smile.
”Off you go then, the Gryffindor common room is at the end of the hallway, the password is ’hippogriff’.”
Remus stepped through the portrait hole in a daze as just a few moments prior he thought he was going to get kicked out for being a werewolf but was instead provided a safe place to transform and accommodation to study like everyone else despite his condition. Remus was brought out of his daze as Sirius, James and Peter rushed over to him. Remus realised they must have been waiting for him on the sofa by the grand fireplace that was warming the round room.
”Hurry up, we need to go look at our room!”
“You didn’t have to wait for me.” Remus shuffled on his feet awkwardly, not enjoying the amount of attention on him.
“Nonsense, we’ve got to see it all together for the first time.” Remus let himself be tugged up the stairs by an overly excited James with Sirius and Peter right on their heels. The boys stopped in front of an oak door that read ’first years’, holding their breaths as they opened the door and filed inside.
Four poster beds with thick red curtains lined the room with their trunks at the end of each of them. A table big enough for studying on was placed close to the window, to which Remus noted with delight was also closest to the bed his trunk was placed by. Remus swiftly walked over to his bed to make sure all of it was truly real. The duvet was soft and velvety under Remus’ fingers, the bed dipping in as he sat on the edge taking in the warmth of the room and his three new friends.
Peter was already snuggling into his pillow, while James was pulling out posters from his trunk and placing them on the wall around his bed. Remus’ smile dropped as his eyes met Sirius’, sharp grey boring right through him. Remus gave Sirius a shaky smile which only caused the raven haired boy to scowl at him.
”What did Professor McGonagall need to talk about with you so urgently?” Sirius’ brows were furrowed and eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Remus glanced at James and Peter, who were now sitting up on their own beds looking at Remus and Sirius. ”I um- I get sick a lot so my parents were worried about me attending Hogwarts and Professor McGonagall was just telling me about how I should deal with it...” Remus gulped audibly hoping the excuse was enough to diminish Sirius’ curiosity.
”So like meetings with Madam Pomfrey?” Remus’ head whipped towards James at his question. ”Right! Um, I need to get regular checkups and stuff.”
Remus watched with bated breath as Sirius cocked his head to the side brows furrowed in thought before giving a determined nod; ”Right, makes sense.” — A relieved smile spread across Remus’ lips as he moved to unpack his trunk, this was good his roommates wouldn’t suspect his monthly hospital wing visits now.