Morning Star

Regulus barely survives the tension at the breakfast table; honestly, the only reason he doesn't up and leave is because he doesn't want to make it awkward for anyone else, especially Effie and Monty.

Remus sits next to him this morning, he assumes as a form of comfort. Maybe so that James doesn't try and sit next to him. Either way, he appreciates it. Sirius and James make their way down shortly after they do and sit somewhat hesitantly opposite them. Sirius makes a display of going over to Remus first and kissing him for all to see.

Regulus rolls his eyes.

After breakfast, he decides to clear his mind the only way he knows how. He goes out to the back garden, down to the mini Quidditch pitch, which James had once told him that Monty made for him when he was only six years old. He grabs his broom from the shed and takes off into the air, enjoying the soothing wind; it's not too strong, being April now, but it contrasts nicely with the spring sunshine. 

He does a few laps and then decides to just whizz around the garden, scouring it with his eyes. He flies past the bench surrounded by half-bloomed rose bushes and is suddenly bombarded with a memory of last winter when James had found him there. And the summer before... the first day they went climbing.

That had been the day he'd slipped on some ice and fallen in a thorn bush, the idiot.

Regulus soon finds himself flying in the direction of the forest and, in a hasty decision, turns back in the direction of the house. There are too many fond memories from last summer that he doesn't want to taint with his low mood. Too many memories he can't let himself think about.

When he gets back to the pitch, he lets his broom hover softly in the air and leans back, lying on it. He watches as the clouds lightly move with the wind, heading East towards the rising sun. The sky is a pleasant blue today, a calming sort that he doesn't mind. He dislikes when the sky is so bright in the dead of summer that it blinds you. He loves it when it's grey and gloomy in the autumn and winter months. This, though, is nice too.

He feels a whoosh beside him and doesn't have to turn his head to know who it is already.

"Good morning, dear brother."

"Morning, Reg. You doing ok?" Sirius asks, speaking from someplace to Regulus' left.

"I could be worse," he mumbles, trying his best to keep his focus primarily on the sky.

"James told me what happened," Sirius says bluntly. "Actually, he told me everything."

Regulus hums and turns his head slowly to face Sirius who, he can see, is lying back on his broom, similar to how Regulus is.

"Everything?"

Sirius looks right back at him, gaze determined but soft. "Yes. The deal, the Remus plan, all of it. Also... about yesterday."

Regulus huffs and moves his attention back to the sky. "Of course he did. So, aren't you mad?" He glances at Sirius just long enough to see his reaction when he clearly states, "I fucked your best friend."

Sirius doesn't even blink, his face remains blank. After a moment, he looks upwards and whispers, "Only twice... I thought we Blacks were supposed to have more gusto than that."

Regulus almost falls off his broom in surprise, but manages to grip it tight enough with his thighs before he begins to pelt towards the Earth.

"He told you?" He squeaks.

Sirius chuckles joyfully. "Yep, like I said, he told me everything. I honestly would have expected better from you, Reg."

"Please, can we not talk about my sex life. Can we talk about literally anything else?"

"How about my sex life then?" Sirius smirks, raising an eyebrow and Regulus recoils in disgust. "Fine. No sex talk, got it. Speaking of Remus... you snuggled up with my boyfriend last night? He's warm, isn't he?"

"I- I had to... James was in your room," Regulus responds quietly.

"Oh." Sirius clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Sorry, he wasn't... in the best shape."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know if I should- oh, fuck it. He's heartbroken, Reg."

Regulus' eyebrows furrow in bewilderment. "He didn't sound very heartbroken. I could hear you both giggling all the way down the hall."

"Well, I had to cheer him up somehow, didn't I?"

"So, you've forgiven him?" Regulus asks.

"I have, so long as he doesn't lie to me again," Sirius replies carefully. "He really is heartbroken, Reg, you should talk to him."

"I can't," Regulus mumbles. The clouds have become much less fascinating now and he really just wants to go and hide in his room like a hermit. "He- he deserves so much more than what I would be able to give him. I can't give him everything. Not yet. Not when I can't even give it to myself."

"Reg, I understand that. It's your decision and I don't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but if this is how you feel then you need to tell him. I'm sorry, but it's not fair on James. You know he would understand, baby."

Regulus feels his heart pick up in his chest at the nickname. Sirius always used that for him when they were children. He only stopped when Regulus was sorted into Slytherin - he's missed it.

"I know, I'm just not ready. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise for being messed up. If we're going to blame anyone, we should blame our pathetic excuse for parents." Regulus snorts at this.

"I'll talk to him eventually, Sirius, I will. Just... not yet."

"Alright," Sirius sighs. "Oh! I forgot to tell you. Cissy and Bella came to visit you when you were in the hospital."

"They did?" Regulus sits up straight and Sirius copies his movements. "Why?"

"They wanted to know if you were still alive. We also got invites to Cissy's wedding. I know her fiancé is a bit of a snore, but she said I could be her bridesmaid!"

Regulus shakes his head and laughs at his brother. Only Sirius would insist on being a bridesmaid. He only loves him more for it. 

"When's the wedding?"

"Sometime in the summer. I'm expecting a formal invitation in the post in the next few weeks. Oh, and we can bring dates too. Sorry, but Moony is taken," Sirius winks at him.

Regulus bursts out laughing all of a sudden and Sirius stares at him for a moment with a puzzled expression on his face.

"What's so funny?"

"Moony," Regulus wheezes. "It's so obvious, you're all idiots."

"What... what?!" Sirius gets louder as he gets more confused.

"Oh, Sirius." Regulus places a hand on his brother's shoulder and gives him a sympathetic smile. "I've known about your boyfriend's furry little problem for a few months now. Plus, I got the confirmation last night."

"Did James tell you?" 

"No. I'm just not stupid," Regulus says. 

***

The next day, Regulus ends up in the washing room in deep conversation with Mellie. She's a lovely house elf, cheeky too, but she's no Kreacher. He deeply misses his friend and wishes there were a way he could see him or even just contact him.

"What is the matter, Master Regulus sir?" Mellie squeaks, bringing back his attention from where it had drifted back to Grimmauld Place.

"Sorry. I just miss Kreacher- he was our house elf back... back..."

Mellie smiles kindly at him and snaps her fingers, sending a few sheets into a basket, folding them mid-air. "I think Mellie remembers Kreacher. Yes. Back when the Potters and the Blacks were less hostile, sir, Mellie used to go to Black formal events and Mellie would sees Kreacher. Mellie was fond of Kreacher, even if he was a bit... grouchy at times." She giggles to herself and Regulus smiles.

"I really miss him, he was my friend."

"I am sorry, sir, that you cannot sees Kreacher. I knows I would miss Master Jamie if I did not sees him for almost a year!"

"I just wish I knew how he was," Regulus says quietly. He shakes his head and inhales deeply before releasing it. "Anyway, it doesn't matter now. I'm just glad I have you to talk to. I hope I'm not disrupting you at all, Mellie?"

"Never, sir! Mellie loves talking to her boys! Master Jamie has not been to talks to Mellie yet. She is disappointed but knows he is not his happiest right now." She raises what Regulus believes is a condescending eyebrow at him, as if she knows everything that has happened between them. Regulus suddenly becomes very uncomfortable and aware that she probably does know everything. 

"I am sorry about that. I believe it to be my fault," he winces.

"No needs to apologise, Master Regulus. I just miss my Jamie is all."

Don't we all, Regulus thinks.

He misses a lot about James, but he finds that he mostly misses seeing him smile. It's been far too long since he's seen that bright James Potter grin, which feels like a crime.

Monty had told him he had never seen James glow as bright as he does when he is around Regulus, but he thinks it is the opposite. He has never seen James so gloomy as he is when he is around him.

He really misses his smile.

James' smile is anything but perfect; it is wonky and bares too much teeth - some of them aren't even straight - but it is still Regulus' favourite smile.

That night he makes his way to Remus' room, not even bothering to knock this time. He heard James go into Sirius' room again and remembers Remus' offer to find him if he needs him. So, he takes him up on it.

Remus pulls the cover back, apparently having expected him. Regulus climbs into the bed instantly and turns onto his side, mirroring Remus.

"Is this alright?" He whispers into the empty space between them.

"Of course, I said so last night and the night before, did I not?"

Regulus blinks and lets out a small sigh. "I suppose. Are you feeling alright? I know it's less than two weeks until the full."

"I'm fine, usually don't start feeling bad until the week before." Remus leans a bit closer and then whispers, "Do you want to know a secret?"

Regulus smiles. He likes that Remus trusted him immediately. It's a nice change to how people have treated him in the past, mainly due to his name - being a Black comes with it's equal advantages and disadvantages.

"No one else knows, so you can't tell anyone." Regulus nods eagerly and Remus grins. "Your brother became an Animagus last year and spends the full moon with me."

Regulus feels his eyes widen in shock. 

"Is that not... dangerous? Well, I suppose not, actually. If he's an animal, werewolves don't hurt other animals." He realises he is mainly mumbling to himself, but Remus seems to be able to hear his every word anyway. "So, he's an animal? Wow. What is he? What do you guys do?"

"He's not the only one, James and Pete did it too." Regulus almost gasps at this fact, surprised James had never mentioned it. Although, then he thinks, why would he? It's not like they were ever together or anything. They never promised each other their secrets. "Sirius is a dog, James a stag, and Pete's a rat."

Regulus has to stifle a laugh at that last one. "Oh! Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs."

"Getting it now?" Remus chuckles silently.

"They sound so stupid without the context, but... well they're actually quite smart."

"Don't tell Sirius that, he came up with most of them," Remus mumbles. "Wouldn't want his ego to get any bigger, he might explode."

"I'm beginning to believe his body has an ever-lasting capacity," Regulus mutters, making Remus laugh. "So, what do you all do?"

"Well, I know it's probably stupid and I shouldn't take advantage of the opportunity I was given but... you know how I told you about the shack?" Regulus nods, remembering Remus telling him about it the night before and how you could get to it through a hole under the Whomping Willow. "We sometimes go to the Forbidden Forest and run around all night until sunrise. They made the full moons bearable, some of the best nights of my life really."

Regulus smiles, feeling a growing warmth radiate in his chest. A sudden idea sprouts in his head, but he shoves it to a dark corner in his mind for him to come back to later.

This becomes their routine during the second - and last - week of the Easter holidays. Regulus will wait to hear if James goes over to Sirius' room, which he does every single night, and then he'll sneak over to Remus'. 

For the first few nights, they had left a reasonable gap between them, but would always find themselves snuggled together by the time morning comes. After the fourth night of him staying in Remus' bed, he allows himself to let the inevitable happen and they end up wrapped around each other before they even fall asleep.

He is deeply surprised by how comfortable he feels around Remus. It's nice sleeping with him - platonically, obviously - and he thinks he might have even found an important friendship in Remus, which he had not expected at all.

During the sixth night of him staying with Remus, he has his first nightmare. He wakes to the boy gently shaking his shoulder and muttering soothing words to him, assuring him he is safe and he can breathe. Somehow, he knows not to smother Regulus - it would make him feel as if he were drowning again.

He apologises for waking Remus after, but he only says, "Never apologise, Reg. Don't be embarrassed either, nightmares are bound to happen after what you had to suffer."

Regulus had cried after that and had felt immensely grateful for Remus Lupin, who took him into his arms and cradled him back to sleep.

By the time the fourteenth of April rolls around, which is the night before they are to leave for Hogwarts again, Regulus slides into Remus' bed and right into his arms. He pouts and Remus chuckles.

"What's up?"

"How am I supposed to sleep without you here? I- I hate having nightmares... especially when people can hear me. I really don't want to frighten Evan or Barty." He says this into the fabric of Remus' top, not wanting to show his face out of mortification for what he is admitting.

"I'm sure you'll survive," Remus says through what sounds like a smile. His voice is drifting slightly and Regulus realises he is barely holding onto consciousness. "You could always sleep with Evan or Barty."

"I can't," Regulus pouts harder, knowing he sounds petulant. "They sleep together."

"I would say you could come to our dorm and slip into my bed, but Pads will probably be in there," Remus whispers. "There's always Pete. He would accept you without hesitation."

Regulus snorts at this and moves closer to Remus, breathing in deeply.

"I'll figure something out. Worse comes to worse, I'll have to put up a silencing spell," he sighs.

"I'm sorry, Reg."

"Not your fault, Rem."

And that's all they say before they're overcome with sleep. Luckily, for Regulus, it is a dreamless one.

The next day, he hugs Effie goodbye on Platform 9 3/4, much to her glee. He also allows her to press a kiss on each of his cheeks, as well as his head. He then moves to Monty and hugs him just a little tighter. He feels a little closer to Monty than he does Effie and has taking a fondness to him.

"See you in the summer, Regulus, my boy."

Regulus feels his face light up as they pull apart and he smiles at Monty. "See you in the summer."

They each board the train, Regulus continues to avoid James, who seems to understand and doesn't try to meet his eye. In fact, James barely takes his gaze off the floor the entire time, looking dreadfully sad. Regulus feels terrible, knowing that he may have caused this, but he also knows he isn't ready to talk yet. 

Sirius hugs him goodbye and ruffles his hair, much to his chagrin. He slaps his hand away but smiles at him. Then, he turns to Remus, who opens his arms as a question. Regulus melts into him, squeezing his torso.

"You'll be alright," Remus promises in a whisper.

"I know," Regulus says back. They pull away from each other and Regulus smiles, "See you at Hogwarts, Rem."

"See you soon, Reg."

He turns and heads in the opposite direction to the Gryffindors, going to find his friends.

They're already seated together when he finds them. Evan and Barty are on one side of the compartment, disgustingly close together and muttering sweet nothings to each other. Regulus pulls his wand out and flicks it in their direction. They are pulled immediately apart to Barty's disappointment. Evan just laughs.

"Thank you," Dorcas sighs with relief. "I've missed you, Reg."

He sits down beside Dorcas, allowing her to hug him. Pandora and Emma stayed at Hogwarts for the Easter holidays, so it isn't a proper reunion yet.

"It's only been a couple of weeks, Cas."

"A couple of weeks too long," she says.

"How come you're in here with me and these tossers?" Evan questions, earning himself a couple of offensive scoffs. "Why aren't you with your sweetheart?"

Regulus feels his expression immediately drop.

"Oh no," Barty whines and moves over to sit beside Regulus, forcing him into a rough hug. Barty brings his head to his chest and starts petting his hair obnoxiously. "What happened?"

Regulus folds and tells them all everything, including the deal. He thinks they might as well know, considering he already told Remus and James seems to have told Sirius.

"It was all fake?" Dorcas asks, sounding put-out.

"I'm sorry to disappoint?" Regulus shrugs.

"I'm surprised you agreed," Evan mumbles. "No offence, but I thought you had higher standards than that, Reg."

"Leave me alone, I am in mourning," he folds his arms over his chest and then realises this is a very Sirius thing to do, so he unfolds them.

"Why can't someone make a sex deal with me?!" Barty shrieks.

"Umm... hello?" Evan waves at him.

"Hi?" Barty says back.

"You don't need a sex deal to get out your sexual frustration. You have a literal real life boyfriend right here."

"I know," Barty hums, "but we never had that 'is it requited or is it unrequited, I shall never know' sort of thing."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise you wanted that. We only remained oblivious to each other's feelings for three years, but if you wanted it to last longer, you only had to ask, sweetheart."

Barty pouts and moves back over to Evan, picking up his arm and wrapping it around himself. "You know I love you, Ev. Don't get so bratty."

Regulus and Dorcas both freeze and Evan blushes.

"Is this a new development or were we just not informed before?" Dorcas gasps.

"Barty accidentally blurted it out midway through... well, you know." Evan's blush only deepens, making Regulus laugh. "I said it right back, because I do." He turns to look down at Barty who is staring up at him like he is the most precious thing to have ever existed. "I really do." They kiss softly and then pull away, knowing they have an audience.

"How's McKinnon?" Regulus asks, turning to Dorcas.

"Amazing," she sighs dreamily. "We've been writing over the break and I think I love her already."

"Fucking brilliant, I'm trapped in a train compartment with a bunch of lovesick fools."

"Like you can talk," Barty snorts and then sends him an apologetic look.

Regulus just rolls his eyes as the banter between them all continues. 

***

The weekend passes swiftly. Regulus is happy about this, he just wants to get back to lessons - to a routine, so he can stop thinking about a certain someone.

He has early Quidditch practice first thing on Monday morning, which he doesn't mind getting up for. It means he can have an early night without having to come up with an excuse to why he wants mope about alone in his bed. His friends haven't spoken to him about James, apparently sensing he isn't ready to talk about it.

Evan wakes him up bright and early in the morning, having just had a shower. He flicks Regulus with his wet towel. Regulus throws a mild stinging hex at him before getting dressed. He usually doesn't have a shower until after practice because really, what is the point of having a shower just to get all sweaty immediately after?

As the captain, Evan is the first down on the pitch, accompanied by Regulus of course. The rest of the team show up soon after, all ready to get a game started. Evan warms them up first, ordering all of them but Regulus to run laps. As someone who barely moves through a match, Regulus doesn't usually take part in the warm-ups. Today, however, he finds himself joining Evan and running laps around the pitch until he sees stars.

Afterwards, they release the balls needed for the game. Regulus' technique is usually to sit still and search the pitch with his eyes, every now and then moving about, just in case the snitch happens to be on the opposite side of the pitch.

It doesn't take him long to find it. He looks over at Evan first, always getting confirmation that he should grab it before he does, just in case they are down by too many points. Evan nods with a subtle thumbs up and Regulus speeds towards the lower portion of the left hoop, snatching the snitch in his grasp and holding it up.

They have the final game of the year in a couple of weeks. To Regulus' immense disappointment, they are playing against Gryffindor, which means he has to be in the same vicinity as both his insufferable brother - and James...

Evan signals for them to all gather back on the floor, so Regulus flies down slowly to the grass, trying his best to enjoy the cool breeze. The sun isn't very high in the sky yet; he hasn't been to watch the sunrise at all since they got back. It's not only because he is afraid he will bump into James, but also because of... the water. He can't find it within himself to face it. Not yet.

"Bletchley," Evan calls to their Keeper, "amazing work, but if you can, just speed up that little bit more." The boy nods, grinning back at his Captain. Evan is a great Captain, he's gentle and patient, but is also very capable of being stern and pushy when it's necessary.

"Lestrange," he says next, gesturing to Rabastan. He's in the year above him but was not offered the Captaincy position because he is... well, too brutal. "Remember, we want to win fairly. There's no need for the targeted violence, we can't lose you again this game, otherwise we won't stand a chance against Potter. I hate to say it, but he's too good."

Rabastan scoffs at this, he's never liked James. He's usually Rabastan's primary target. Over the years, Regulus hasn't paid this much attention, but now he realises how much he hates it.

"Right," Evan claps his hands together, "that's all for today. Well done everyone, you all did fantastically. I have confidence we can win! See you all same time on Friday!"

They all clap Evan on the back and thank him as they leave for the changing rooms. Regulus hangs back with him for a little while, helping him take the chest that claims the Quidditch balls back to the shed, along with their brooms.

"You alright, Reg?" Evan asks, taking the silence as a sign that something is wrong.

"Yeah," he sighs. "Just don't really feel like going against Gryffindor."

"Because of your brother or Potter?"

"Both," Regulus admits with a small snort. "Why can't it be literally any other house?"

"Because it never is, is it?" Evan shakes his head, locking the broom cupboard behind him with a swish of his wand. "I swear, it always ends up being us versus the lions. We're all just too damn competitive."

"I suppose," he replies and they don't talk much more.

Regulus' first lesson of the day is double Potions, which he is thankful for. It's his favourite lesson and they share it with the Ravenclaws, so he gets to work with Pandora.

When he arrives to the classroom, he spots Pandora's dazzlingly white hair instantly. She waves him over to her seat at the front of the classroom, ingredients and cauldron already laid out in front of her. She has a yellow and pink flower sitting in her hair, tucked behind her ear today. He smiles once he's approached her and gently brushes his fingers against the petals.

"Pretty," he says.

"Thank you. Lily gave it to me."

"Oh, that's nice."

"It is! She gave it to me over Easter, Regulus! I've preserved it so that it cannot die. I really like her," she smiles and a small blush begins to spread behind her brown freckles.

Regulus finds himself grinning at how happy his friend is. "I'm glad that you're happy."

Pandora sighs contentedly. "Yep, now we just have to get you back to your happy self-"

"Back?" He questions, but she ignores him or doesn't hear him over her own rambling.

"Ooh! You won't guess what we're brewing today!"

Slughorn makes his way into the classroom then and Regulus looks around, realising that the classroom seems to have filled since he sat down. Emma and her friend from Ravenclaw - Nora something - are sitting on the desk together to Pandora's right, and Evan and Barty occupy the one behind Regulus and Pandora's shared desk.

"Good morning! Morning, all!" Slughorn beams. He waddles over to the bare chalkboard and moves his wand in the air, causing the chalk to fly up and start writing instructions on the board. Then the old Professor turns back to the now full classroom. "Today we will be brewing Amortentia!"

Regulus thinks he is the only person to groan. Luckily, it's hidden under the squeals that erupt from Pandora.

"Yes, yes, Mr Black. I know it isn't ideal for many, but it is necessary for the course I am afraid," Slughorn calls out, making half of the class turn to Regulus who just continues to stare blankly forward, but can feel his cheeks turning pink.

He hears Barty and Evan laughing behind him.

"Now, it should take you the duration of the lesson to make, but will need to stand for twenty-four hours. This only means we'll have to check our results in tomorrow's lesson!" Slughorn beams at the class and pulls a small vile of something from his pocket. Inside is a liquid the colour of molten gold and Regulus feels his stomach flip, knowing exactly what that is. "The first person to get their potion finished - and successfully," he lifts an eyebrow whilst looking pointedly at Barty, who just shrugs, "- will be given this vile of Felix Felicis. Also, known as?"

Regulus raises his hand.

"Yes, my boy?"

It reminds him a bit of Monty, which makes him smile as he answers, "Liquid Luck."

"Correct! Ten points to Slytherin. Now, begin!"

"You peel the Ashwinder Eggs," Regulus orders, Pandora doesn't mind him taking control in Potions, knowing it's his passion, "I'm going to cut up these Rose Thorns."

Pandora only nods and starts working at a fast but efficient pace. They work well together in Potions; Regulus likes things to be done quickly and correctly, which Pandora is capable of, since she tends to hum or daydream whilst she's working, which apparently makes her work faster.

There's a point where they have to leave the Potion to boil for ten and a half minutes precisely, so they get to sit down and have a small break. Regulus is grateful for this, his knees have started to ache - probably because of this mornings warm-ups and practice.

"So," Pandora sings, "What do you think you'll smell in the Potion? Or who ?" She waggles her eyebrows at him suggestively.

"You," he answers simply.

"Aww, Reg, I know that's true. I'm sure I'll smell you too, but who else are you going to smell?"

Regulus just shrugs.

"If you smell Potter? What are you going to do about it?"

Pandora has always been a blunt person, it's one of the things Regulus likes about her. She doesn't dawdle with her words and gets straight to the point. This time, however, he finds himself wishing she cared less.

"I don't know. I guess I'll just get on with my life."

Pandora seems to understand that he isn't willing to share anymore and changes the topic, kind of. "Well, I think I'm going to smell you, Evan, Dorcas, Emma, and Barty... probably Lily too."

"Hey!" Barty shrieks from behind them. They both turn to see him looking a little ruffled - his hair is sticking up in all directions and his tie has come loose - with his hands on his hips. He looks deeply offended. "Why am I last on that list?"

"It wasn't in any particular order, my love," Pandora speaks softly. "You know I love you very much."

Barty softens immediately and mumbles a "I love you too, Pan," before shifting his focus back over to his Potion. Pandora shakes her head fondly at him.

The rest of the day goes by fast. The only interesting thing that happens is in Transfiguration when Barty accidentally transfigures his feet into palmate. Emma doesn't stop harassing him about it for the rest of the day. 

Before he goes to bed, Regulus cast a silencing charm. He had another nightmare last night and got barely any sleep afterwards. Luckily, he hadn't woken up Evan or Barty, not that he knows anyway. They hadn't said anything when he'd forgotten to put the silencing charm up and then woke up screaming.

He falls into a heavy sleep almost grudgingly, but is woken once again by his own screams. There are no lit candles when he wakes and the (almost full - just three more days) moon is hanging high in the sky, joined by the twinkling stars.

Sighing, he gets up and goes into the bathroom to get a glass of water and splash some on his face. He stares at himself in the mirror for a while. Glaring at the prominent bags that reside under his black eyes. Black just like his name, just like him. 

Rubbing his eyes, he turns the bathroom light off and walks back into the dormitory. It's pitch black, save for the light of the moon. 

Just before he reaches his bed, someone calls his name.

"Oi, Reg," Evan whispers across the room. "Are you alright?"

"I'm... fine," he lies.

"Did you have another nightmare?"

Regulus blinks in surprise. He wasn't aware than Evan knew he was even having nightmares.

"Yeah, but I'm ok now. I think."

There's a shuffling noise and then the sound of footsteps. Evan is suddenly right in front of him, his tall frame illuminated by the minimal moonlight. He feels his hand being taken and doesn't argue as he is led to the other side of the room.

"What-"

"You can sleep with me, I know how it helps you," Evan says quietly, leading Regulus over to his own bed.

"But what about Barty?"

"He's in his bed tonight anyway," Evan promises and holds the curtain open. Regulus stares at him for a moment, not knowing what to say, and then nods and crawls in. Evan slides in after and immediately wraps him up in a hug, reminding him of Remus.

"Thank you," he whispers, feeling as his voice cracks. He is suddenly very thankful for his friend.

"No problem, Reg. Just try and get some sleep, yeah?" Evan mumbles against his head before kissing his hair.

Regulus sighs into the embrace and feels his eyelids grow heavier with each passing second. Eventually, he falls asleep, and is not woken again by nightmares.

***

"YOU HAD A SLEEPOVER WITHOUT ME??!" Is the first thing Regulus hears as he blinks his eyes open in the morning.

"Sirius?" He questions groggily.

How did his brother get in their room?

"Sirius?" The voice says and it's only then that Regulus realises it's Barty who's talking.

"Oh," Regulus sits up, pulling out of Evan's arms. "Sorry. You sounded ridiculously like my brother just then."

"That's because he's my twin and the love of my life-"

"Well, that's incestual," Regulus mumbles.

"-but that doesn't matter because YOU HAD A SLEEPOVER WITHOUT ME!" Barty yells and Regulus can already feel a headache coming on.

"Sorry, Barty," Evan says, pulling Regulus back into his side. "Only room for two."

"Only room for two," Barty mutters under his breath. "I'm your boyfriend! You're supposed to snuggle up to me !"

"Yeah, but Regulus doesn't sweat like you do," Evan grins, clearly just trying to rile his boyfriend up. Barty gasps dramatically.

"Yeah, Evan is very very comfortable," Regulus adds with a smirk in Evan's direction.

"You want to break up with me, don't you?" Barty asks, sounding genuinely heartbroken and Regulus thinks he can see his lip quivering a bit.

"Oh, you sad sod," Regulus smiles at his friend with sympathetic fondness. He grabs Barty's hand and pulls him down onto the bed before sliding out of it himself. "Don't worry, he's all yours."

"I know," Barty says, leaning closer into Evan and breathing him in. They curl around each other perfectly and Regulus smiles at the sight. "Oh and Regulus."

"Hmm?"

"Next time you have a nightmare come to me, I'll hug you better, I promise." Barty winks at him before closing his eyes and burying his face in Evan's hair.

Regulus stands in shock for a moment and then turns to get dressed. They have Potions first again today, only a single lesson though. Unfortunately, it's Amortentia day. A small part of him hopes he made it incorrectly, but he knows that's impossible. 

Thankfully, he can't smell the Potion as soon as he enters the classroom because they made sure to put scent-proof lids on their cauldrons before the end of yesterday's lesson. He thinks that if he had smelled it before entering the classroom, he would have run away.

Pandora greets him when he sits down. "Today is the day!" She squeals.

"Yes," he says flatly. "Today... is the day."

"I wonder who I'll smell," Barty says from behind them, his tone teasing. Evan just rolls his eyes, prepared to play along. "I'm thinking," he puts a finger on his chin, searching the room before his eyes land on the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain (who has a bit of a wobbly history with Evan). He smirks. "Glossop. Hey! Terry!" Terrence Glossop turns at the mention of his name and Barty winks at him seductively.

"Bartemius!" Evan shrieks, uncharacteristically loud. He turns Barty around by the shoulders. Barty just stares at Evan, his eyes shining at the boy.

"I love you," Barty sighs happily.

Evan gives him a sideways look and then huffs. "Love you too."

Barty grins.

"Good morning, everyone!" Slughorn shuffles in and drops a massive stack of used parchment on his desk. He wipes at some sweat that has accumulated on his brow and then grins up at the students that now fill the room. "As you know, Mr Black and Miss Lestrange," he gestures to Regulus and Pandora, "were the first pair to finish the brewing of their Amortentia Potion last lesson. Now, all there is left to do is for said students to test it. If you have successfully brewed the Potion, and I do not doubt that you have," he winks at Regulus only, but Pandora doesn't seem to mind, "you shall win the Felix Felicis."

Regulus inwardly groans today.

"You shall be the first to test your Potion," Slughorn continues. "In fact, how about we do it in front of the class?"

Regulus outwardly groans.

Pandora follows their now floating cauldron where Slughorn has begun to levitate it to his desk at the front of the class.

"Ladies first, my dear."

Pandora grins at the old Professor before taking off the lid and almost burying her nose into it. Regulus tries to only breathe through his mouth, not wanting to know- not wanting to smell-

"Ooh!" Pandora giggles. "Wow, Professor. It definitely worked!"

"What is it you smell? Any demonstration would be fantastic for those who unsuccessfully brewed theirs," he looks over at Barty, like he always does. 

"I smell... quite a lot. Mainly my friends, and my dad, but also... a flowery smell and- oh! Lily Evans," she nods her head and steps back, seemingly satisfied. There are a few snickers across the room, but Pandora doesn't seem to mind.

"Excellent," Slughorn claps his hands together and then rounds on Regulus. "Now, your turn, Mr Black."

Regulus feels himself step forwards but he wants to turn around and run. He makes his way over to the cauldron and sends a petrified look towards Pandora. She nods encouragingly at him, so he sighs and sticks his face over the top of the cauldron.

Oh, ok... not so bad. 

The first thing he smells is a fusion of pumpkins, books and leather, which he immediately identifies as Sirius. He continues to smell, picking up more familiar scents: musky mint, which goes with both Barty and Evan; flowers and honey (Pandora), rain and grass (Dorcas), cinnamon and vanilla (Emma).

He tells Slughorn all of this and then leans down, picking up something else. The strongest smell so far.

Oh no...

No no no.

"I- uh- I-"

"Go on, my boy," Slughorn urges him.

"I smell... the forest and uh- broomstick polish and... rosemary."

Well, shit.

He leans backwards suddenly, glaring at the cauldron as if it has just deeply offended him. It sort of has. It has basically just shoved in his face the fact that he is in love with James Potter.

"Fascinating," Slughorn beams at him. Pandora and Regulus are sent back over to their original seats, along with their cauldron. Regulus turns away from it, not even wanting to look at it.

It seems unavoidable, however, as students all around the classroom start taking off the lids of their own Potions and those smells start to waft through the room once again. He buries his face in the back of his chair, squeezing his eyes shut, and groans.

"I can smell you, Ev!" He hears Barty say excitedly, so he lifts his head up to see his friend's reactions to their Potions. "And Reg, and Pandora. Dorcas and Emma too. Wait- ha! I think I can smell your brother in here, Reg!" Barty starts to giggle, so Evan pushes him out the way before smelling it himself.

"Yep, same thing, except... no offense, but I can't smell Sirius."

Regulus turns to see Nora beam proudly at her Potion. Emma, however, does not even look half as happy. Unlike Nora, she glares down at the thing and looks terribly surprised, as well as disgusted.

"Smell something off, Em?" Barty calls, still laughing.

"I- I- what the FUCK?" She pouts and turns to Nora, whispering something in her ear.

Nora's eyes widen comically and she accidentally blurts out, "Pettigrew?!"

At the same time, Regulus, Barty, Evan and Pandora start laughing uncontrollably. Regulus has to hold his stomach he's laughing so hard. He looks over to Emma, whose face is red and she is glaring daggers at Nora. This only makes him laugh harder, bringing tears to his eyes.

"Why would you say it out loud?!" She swats her friend and slouches down in her seat. "What is wrong with me?"

"Amortentia is a love Potion too!" Barty cackles manically. "She's in love with him!"

Barty ends up leaving Potions with a black eye and carrots for ears, but he's still laughing away at Emma's misfortune.

Thanks to Mulciber, everyone in class knew exactly who Regulus smelled in the Amortentia, and to his mortification, had people coming up to him and asking him about it.

"Reg?" Pandora calls from where she's walking beside him.

"Yeah?"

"You can have mine," she shoves the shared vile of Felix Felicis into his open hands. "I don't need any luck, I have everything I want and I want you to be able to get everything that you want." She beams at him.

"What? No, Pandora, you earned this. It's for us to share," he tries to explain.

"I know that, but I don't want it. Please, Regulus, take it for me?" Pandora begs him with her eyes, so blue like the spring sky. He can't help but cripple under her stare and relents. She grins and gives him a small hug. "Thank you."

"Thank you," he repeats back to her.

***

Friday comes around fast. Regulus makes his way to the library, as he does most Fridays once lessons are over and he has more hours to spend doing his weekend homework outside of the Slytherin common room. It's not always the most welcoming place; it reminds him a bit of Grimmauld sometimes.

Today, however, he is pushing his homework until tomorrow and is instead focussing on the topic he has set for himself to research. He searches through the aisles and lets his eyes wander across the shelves, taking in the titles on each spine of every tattered book. He loves the smell of the library, it reminds him a bit of his brother.

After about half an hour of hunting, he has acquired almost a dozen books and has sat himself at a table in the far corner of the library. He takes out some parchment and his quill and ink and gets to work jotting down as many notes as he can. 

There's an eight book maximum rule for the library, you are not allowed to take out more than that at a time.

Regulus has eleven. So, he sets himself the task of reading through at least three of them before curfew. He manages to get through two, both of which end up being completely useless to him. He sighs, frustrated.

No one is around...

He could just... shrink one of the books down. It's not like anyone would know...

Taking a quick glance around, he pulls a book under the table and mutters the spell, shrinking one of the books down to a small enough size where he can fit it in the pocket of his robes. He slyly slides it in and then acts as if he's done nothing.

Innocently, he makes his way over to Madame Pince with his stack of eight books and she checks them out under his name. Luckily, none of the titles give away what he is trying to do, as none of them are about a specific topic. Well, none but the one stuffed away in his pocket.

Pince glares up at him from where her skeletal frame sits behind a high desk - almost too tall for him to see her, if it wasn't for his contributing height. She seems angry that he would even touch her precious books, let alone want to do something as disastrous as take them away from their home. He gives her what he hopes is a reassuring smile, before he stuffs them in his bag and goes to leave. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Remus packing his bag away too. The older boy looks a bit clammy and worse for wear, his skin takes on a sickly pale colour, and his mouth is folded into a grimace. Regulus decides to go and check on him, knowing it is the full moon tonight. He may as well ask if he is ok, since he is one of the rare few people who know about his condition.

"Hey, Rem," he smiles kindly.

"Hey," Remus beams at him. "Are you heading back to the dungeons?"

"I was, but is it alright if I walk with you to the hospital wing instead? You look a bit..." he pauses, not wanting to say anything too rude or intrusive.

"Shit?" Remus laughs. "Yeah, you can come, but I have to go now. Left it late enough as it is."

"I was now leaving anyway," Regulus responds, heading in the direction of the exit.

They walk along the now empty corridors in comfortable silence. Regulus assumes people are now hidden away in their common rooms, away from Filch's wrath - and his cat. Regulus used to love cats, until he met Mrs Norris. She thoroughly put him off.

"What were you doing so late in the library?" Remus asks, probably just to make conversation.

"Researching," Regulus shrugs. He readjusts his bag on his shoulder, hiding it a little under his robes as if Remus might try to reach out and snatch it away. "What were you doing?"

"Homework," he answers easily. "Better than howling at the moon all night."

Regulus isn't sure if he should laugh or just skip over the comment, but he notices the hint of amusement in Remus' voice and decides to go with the former.

"I guess you're right," he chuckles softly. "Will you be alright? I know that's a stupid question and it probably hurts like hell but... well, are you... going to be alright, I mean?"

Remus sends him a small smile and says, "No worse than every other month. You should thank your brother for that."

Regulus just hums and nods in response, trying his best to hide the smirk that has appeared on his face at the mention of his brother's Animagus state.

They make it to the hospital wing and Regulus wishes Remus 'good luck' for some reason. He gets another smile in response. Before Remus opens the door though, he turns back to Regulus with a serious look on his face.

"So, how are the nightmares going?"

Regulus breathes out a mouthful of air and raises his eyebrows. "I don't know. They haven't stopped, but Evan and Barty have been helping a lot. Whenever I wake up in the night because of one, one of them will crawl into my bed with me."

"That's... strangely sweet of them," Remus says sceptically.

"I know, they are capable of being sweet, believe it or not," Regulus smiles. "Yeah, they're helping. Thank you for asking."

"Of course. Well, I should probably hurry up," Remus points at the double doors before them.

"Right. See you around, Moony," Regulus smiles and turns away, walking in the opposite direction.

He hears Remus laugh behind him. "Bye, Reg."

When he gets back to the dormitory, he is instantly met with a cheerful Evan, who shoves something into his face. Regulus stares down at it - a calendar with a countdown on it.

"Just one week to go until the final game!" Evan cheers.

"Oh, yay?" Regulus tries, but his face feels all scrunched up and stiff.

"Wow, ok," Evan rips the calendar out of his hand. "Thanks for the effort with your enthusiasm. Really helps to boost morale."

Evan crosses the room and, to Regulus' dread, sticks the calendar to the main wall occupying their provided space with a semi-permanent sticking charm. So that they can see it. Every. Single. Day. 

Brilliant.

"Guess what!" Barty calls from where he's sitting on his bed. "I spiced it up a little bit, gave it a bit of me."

"Oh no," Regulus mutters, falling backwards on his own bed. "What did you do?"

"As soon as the sun rises on the day of the match, the calendar is going to start shrieking really loud to make sure your lazy bums are out of bed and all warmed up for the day." Barty says it with such an innocent smile on his face, Regulus almost laughs. 

Instead, he groans and lays back against his pillow, folding his arm over his face.

"Come on, Reg, don't pout," Barty speaks, sounding closer than before. "I'm sorry. I can change it if you like-"

"No, it's not that."

"It's Potter," Evan fills in and Regulus hears Barty makes a noise of realisation. "Is it because you don't want to see his pretty face?"

"Yes," Regulus cries. He lifts his arm away and moves so that he is facing both of them. "It's not just that - Pandora's dumb cousin is always trying to hurt him during games and I really don't want him... to get hurt." He whispers the last part, not wanting them to hear him.

"I'll keep him under control, yeah? If he does anything during this game, I'll just replace him next year," Evan shrugs.

"Ok, just keep him a safe distance away from James. Let Murton hit the bludgers around him."

"Ok, mate, will do."

Regulus falls backwards on his bed once again and tilts his head to stare out the window at the waxy moon, slowly rising in the sky, but full already. He smiles dreamily at it, hoping that tonight is a good night for Remus, rather than a painful one. He deserves it.

He falls asleep and doesn't have any nightmares tonight. Instead, he dreams of a dog, a wolf, a stag, and a rat running through a forest. Rain falls down between their large strides. Regulus runs beside them, occasionally playing with the dog, or chasing the rat. The stag sniffs him a few times, perhaps out of curiosity, or maybe from recognition. 

When he looks down, he is surprised to see two black paws in place of his feet. 

Yes, he must be dreaming. 

He wishes he wasn't.