Morning Star

James doesn't see Regulus again until dinner time. He's sitting with his friends at the Slytherin table and keeps sending James small glances and secret smiles.

"We're off to the library," Remus announces, standing up at the same time Lily does. "See you later, lads."

"Bye, Moony," Sirius grins up at him. Remus smiles shyly back, and James wishes Regulus was here so that he had someone to stifle his laughter with after that interaction.

"Sirius?" Mary slides across the bench, squeezing in next to Sirius where Remus had previously been sitting. He smiles politely at her, but its's nothing like the grin he always saves for Remus. He hums in response

"Want to go upstairs?" She asks, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

Peter chokes on his food and James blushes. Sirius does neither, instead smirking and quickly agreeing. Mary and Sirius leave shortly after, and James makes a mental note not to go into the dormitory for another hour.

"Want to head back to the common room then, Pete?" James asks as he swallows his final mouthful of ice cream.

"Ok." Peter scoffs down the remainders of his own ice cream, before getting up and following James out of the hall. "Did you see Emma today?"

James internally groans.

Not this.

Not again.

"Yep, she looked exactly the same as she does every other day, Pete."

"Mmm, no," Peter responds, lost in thought. "I think she changed her hair."

"Maybe," James supplies. Trying to change the subject, he says, "You excited for the Hufflepuff versus Slytherin match?"

"Yeah! I bet Emma will be commentating again!"

This time James does groan out loud. Nowadays, you can't talk about anything without Peter somehow referring back to Emma. It makes him realise how much self control he has; if he could, he would love to talk about Regulus all day and night, but tragically, he cannot.

"James!" A voice calls from behind them, and James sighs with relief as Marlene comes skipping towards them. "Are you guys going back to the common room?"

"Yeah, would you care to join us?" James asks in a formal voice, holding out his arm for her. She loops their arms together and - thank Merlin - starts talking about the upcoming Quidditch match.

"I reckon Slytherin will win," James muses as they start climbing the stone steps. They have to wait a moment for the next set of stairs to stop moving before they are able to continue their way up to Gryffindor Tower.

"Really? Hufflepuff have Toby Maxwell. He's really good," Peter says.

"I think Slytherin too," Marlene agrees with James, nodding. "Yeah, they have Regulus. He's a really good seeker." She side-eyes James, scanning his features as if she's looking for something.

"Yeah. Slytherin are definitely winning," he spoke with all certainty. Hey- maybe manifestation will work? "Reggie's great on a broom."

"Yeah, I bet he is." Marlene giggles, tilting her head in the opposite direction to James and Peter to stifle her laugh.

James only stares at her, confused.

They arrive in the common room at the same time that Sirius emerges from the stairs leading to the boys' dormitories. He looks slightly pale, but his eyes are bright - though not in an obvious way. It's almost as if he's trying to hide it.

"Pads?" James questions, sitting on the couch opposite the fireplace. Sirius takes the seat in between James and Peter, whilst Marlene sits on James' other side. "What's wrong? You look a bit-"

He doesn't finish that sentence, not quite sure how to.

"Mary just... broke up with me." Sirius stares at the growing flames in the fireplace, never taking his eyes off it. He doesn't sound upset or disappointed. If anything, James would say he almost sounds... relieved?

"Oh, mate. I'm sorry." James pats his friend lightly on the shoulder. "I'm sure it wasn't anything you did. Wh- How? Do you know why?"

"She didn't explicitly say why. We were sort of in the middle of- doing something when she said it." He laughs hollowly. "She said something about not wanting to be in a doomed relationship. Whatever that means."

"Doomed?" Peter echoes.

"I guess we never spoke about how serious we are- were. I'd never really thought about it before. Doubt we would have been together for the rest of our lives or anything." Sirius rips off a string hanging from his robes, balls it up, and flicks it at the fire. "Still. Just didn't see it coming, I s'pose."

"Did Mary seem alright?" Marlene pipes up.

"Yeah," he responds. Finally looking away from the fire, he turns to Marlene. "She hugged me after and seemed fine. It still might be worth you going up and checking on her though."

"Yeah, alright." Marlene stands from her spot on the couch, heading for the girls' dorms. "Good night, boys."

"Night, Marls." They all chorus at the same time.

"Your first real break up," James says softly. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah," Sirius replies. He's staring into space again, not one-hundred percent there.

Later, when they're all tucked up in bed, Sirius comes to find James. (As predicted.)

"I feel guilty," is the first thing he whispers after ensuring the silencing charm is set over the bed.

"Why?" James' brows furrow.

"Because I'm not, like, sad or- I don't know. I feel like I didn't lose anything." Sirius scowls, running a hand through his hair. "I was the worst boyfriend ever. We barely even lasted a couple of months."

"I'm sure you were a gentleman," James smiles. He replaces his glasses on his nose where he had taken them off to go to sleep. "You still have Mary in your life as one of your best friends. That's probably why you aren't too upset about the whole thing. Don't hate yourself because of it, Sirius. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to."

Again, as predicted, Sirius' eyes well up with tears and he leans into James, breaking down into sobs. James wraps his arms around his friend, shuffling them around so that they're lying down.

"You c- can't say things like th- that to me," he hiccups through his thick sobs. "You just c- can't."

"I speak the truth and nothing but the truth," James declares. This only makes Sirius release a choking noise, like he's started crying more. "Sirius."

"James?" Sirius says back, his voice small and cracked.

"Love you," he whispers in reassurance, knowing Sirius needs it.

"Love you too," Sirius eventually whimpers back.

"Relationships aren't always going to be easy, ok? Remember that. They aren't always going to be- fuck, I don't know- a fantasy. They're just like any other relationships, you'll have your ups and downs. But in the end, that won't matter. Just- yeah, remember that."

"Wow," Sirius laughs, finally loosening his grip on James, but not letting go. "Whoever you keep sneaking off with is working miracles."

"What?" James stiffens. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, shut up." Sirius slaps James on the chest half-heartedly. "Are they the person you had your little crush on at the beginning of the year? Did they like you back? Well, of course they did. You're James Potter."

James grimaces at that; you're James Potter. Like he's a fucking Messiah or something.

"So? Did you win them over, or didn't you?"

"I-uh-" James stutters. He knows he wants to tell the truth, so he tells Sirius a half-truth. If that's the best he can do for now, he'll bloody well do it. "Yeah. I did. I won them over."

"That's my Prongsy," Sirius yawns. He snuggles closer to James, falling asleep.

This isn't unusual. Sirius always used to seek out James in the middle of the night. Usually because he had a nightmare about his parents, or they'd done something to him, called him a disappointment- something like that, and he'd come and cry to James. He hasn't come to James in a while though. Not since Regulus ran away.

Not since he got his brother back.

***

On the morning of the Quidditch match, James wakes up at the crack of dawn. He wants to see Regulus before the game, which will be hard as it's in the morning, almost immediately after breakfast. Luckily for James, he knows exactly where he can find his little Morning Star.

He dresses himself in some jeans and a green hoodie (a subtle way to show his support for Slytherin). Tucking the map in his pocket, he silently leaves the room and the three sleeping boys inside.

Instead of passing the Great Hall, this time he grabs some toast for the Giant Squid. He loves watching Regulus feed the squid. He can be so gentle and sweet when he wants to be. James feels honoured by being one of the few people to have witnessed it.

Regulus looks up just as James approaches him; he's sitting underneath the brush of the tree, taken by a book. He gives James a small smile and places a bookmark between the pages.

"Good morning, Reggie," James sings. He takes a seat on the bare stretch of grass beside Regulus. "What are you reading?"

"One of Emma's books. I promised her I would read it." He holds it out, allowing James to lean over and read the title on the cover, which has been painted on in gold ink.

Little Women.

"Little? How little?" James asks, earning him a laugh.

"Not physically. Their positions in society are little. It's all about this family of sisters- strong women fighting misogynistic and patriarchal views of the world they live in," Regulus explains. He places the book on the floor in front of him, gesturing to it. "Emma said Jo was her favourite, and I wish I could say the same because I really do enjoy reading about her character, but..."

He doesn't continue, so James patiently says, "But?"

"But she makes a dumb decision. I see where she was coming from- Merlin knows, I would probably do exactly what she did, but it was still..."

"Dumb?" James supplies. One corner of his lips twist into a smile when Regulus bobs his head in agreement. "What did she do that was so dumb then?"

"Well, for starters she fell in love with her best friend. That's never good," Regulus shakes his head, grimacing comically, which makes James let out a giggle. "But she doesn't tell him. Then, when she finds out he loves her back, and had loved her the whole time, she tells him she can't be with him."

"Maybe she didn't want to ruin their friendship?" James suggests.

"Yes, that was one of the reasons for her doing so. However, she told him it was because he deserved better than her and that she never wanted to marry. Which is just total bollocks," Regulus scoffs. "She's strong, independent, kind, funny, they have good chemistry. I don't understand why she thinks he deserved 'better'. She was... way ahead of her time."

"What about her best friend? What was his name?"

"Laurie."

"Right. What about Laurie? Did she deserve better than him?" James rests his head in his hand, quickly becoming fully invested in this muggle story.

"Yes and no. I doubt she would have gotten any better than him, but he was also very immature and did not have his priorities straight." He picks up the book, flicking through the pages. "Turns out he wasn't that loyal in the end either."

"What do you mean? What did he do?"

Regulus glances at James softly. "I don't want to ruin the fantasy for you, James."

"But I want to know! I want the fantasy to be ruined!" He brings his hands together like he's preying, and pouts pointedly. "Please, Reggie. Ruin the fantasy for me!"

"Fine. After all that- confessing his love for her, making her feel bad for trying to make a mature decision, and for honestly not fighting hard enough to prove to her that he is enough, he... he ends up marrying her little sister."

James' mouth drops.

He does not like that plot twist.

"W- but- I thought he loved Jo?" James whines, not understanding.

"He did. I think he loved all of the sisters in his own little way." Regulus places the book on the grass again. "Beth was always in love with Laurie - she was the one who died - and so I think he always respected her because he knew he would never love her like that, not whilst he loved her sister. So, he gave her the best he could offer her. Friendship. With Meg... she was the only sister who never fell in love with him. I think he felt very protective of her though, especially when she was trying to find a husband. He wanted her to be with someone who would treat her kindly, as she deserved. That's why he kept getting in the way. Amy - that's the sister he ends up marrying - always loved him too. He never took notice of her though, since he was too distracted by Jo. I think that once Jo rejected him, he sort of knew it was never going to happen and that's the first time he ever properly saw Amy. They married so that they wouldn't have to bring chaperones home, but it was also out of the love they shared."

"What about Jo?"

"I've told you. She loved him, never told him, and missed out. She even called him a brother."

"She did not," James gasps. His eyes widen in shock.

"Yep," Regulus nods. "When he told her he had married Amy, he told her she was right, and that he now saw her as a sister, as he always should have."

"Poor Jo."

"In the end it worked out well for everyone. Jo didn't marry. She never had any children, just as she claimed she wanted. Her book was published. Except... it was a sort of distorted version of her life. She wrote herself as married with children, so it could be a bestseller for the masses. Which I think is completely ridiculous. A woman's story shouldn't be boring just because she was unmarried and childless. In my opinion, that would be more thrilling and interesting."

"You really like this book, huh?" James smiles dreamily at the boy in front of him whose eyes are alight with glee. His hands making eager gestures, whilst his mouth moves at a rapid speed. There's that one stubborn curl in front of his eye again. James wants to reach out and tuck it away.

"It's... not awful," he admits bashfully.

"I like it," James declares. "Do you think Emma would let me borrow it after you?"

"I don't see why not." Regulus shrugs, beginning to stand up. He holds his hand out for James, who takes it and is pulled up too. "Want to feed that to the squid?" He points to the toast still in James' hand.

"Oh, yeah."

"Come on."

Regulus leads him to the edge of the lake, only letting go of his hands when they reach it. James gives a slice of toast to Regulus, and together, they start tossing chunks of it into the surface of the lake. The satisfaction that squirms it's way into James' stomach at the sight of those tentacles reaching up and snatching the toast is addicting.

"You feeling confident about the game, Reggie?"

Regulus chucks the last bit of toast between them in the lake, waiting for the loud splash of the squid's tentacle before speaking.

"Yes. We're going to win."

James turns to face him, but Regulus isn't looking at him. He's staring out at the vast grassy mountains in the distance, snow-capped and terrifying with their size, watching as the flaming sun spreads it's wings across the sky and begins to fly.

The sun becomes two gold specs in Regulus' black eyes, making James' heart skip a beat.

I love you, he thinks.

I love you.

Oh, I really fucking do.

"People will be going to breakfast now." Regulus finally turns to look at James, their eyes meeting. "We should get going, the game starts in an hour."

James cheekily sneaks a kiss in, catching Regulus off-guard. It's only a quick one, but it still manages to leave a tingling sensation on his lips.

"You go first," Regulus gulps. "Don't want to seem suspicious."

"Ok." James lingers. Before he can decide whether or not to kiss him again, Regulus moves closer. Their lips meet once more, under the golden glow of the sun. James reaches up to cup one side of Regulus' face. When they pull away he's unable to catch his breath.

"I like this hoodie," Regulus says with hungry eyes. "Green suits you, oh mighty Gryffindor."

"Yes, it does," James responds, rubbing his nose lovingly against Regulus'. "Which is why I will be keeping it. Don't think you'll be stealing this one too, Morning Star." He wiggles his index finger, slowly backing away towards the castle. "No, no. This one's mine."

Regulus' lips turn up slightly and he whispers something James isn't sure he hears correctly.

"We'll see about that."

***

Slytherin wins.

Of course, James already knew they were going to. Regulus is one of the best seekers Hogwarts has ever seen. It was a very close match, though, with Hufflepuff only being thirty points down. Mostly because of their captain, Toby Maxwell.

Regulus, as usual, flows through the air as if it's water and he is the strongest current, guiding his broom where he wants to go. When he catches the snitch, James screams with excitement, along with Sirius and Marlene. Peter looks a little disappointed, whilst Remus looks like he would rather be anywhere else.

James watches as Regulus holds the his golden prize in the air, making his way down to the ground. The Slytherin team gather around him, lifting him off his feet and cheering his name. The entire house of Slytherin begin escaping from the stands and onto the pitch. James follows them down, hoping to catch up to Regulus. Sirius follows behind him, with Marlene in tow.

It's very difficult for him to find Regulus amongst the waves of green and silver created by the mass amounts of Slytherins. He manages to find Barty and Dorcas, who are trying to fight their way through the crowd too. They have eyes on Evan and Regulus, so James follows them.

Eventually, they manage to break into the centre of the pitch, where both Evan and Regulus are being patted on the back and congratulated.

"Ev!" Barty shouts, causing Evan to spin around and beam at his friend. Barty grins back and runs over to Evan. Regulus turns too and catches sight of James straight away. He smiles at him and subtly holds out the snitch, raising an eyebrow.

James throws two thumbs up and strides over to him. Regulus meets him halfway.

"That was amazing! You were brilliant, Reggie!" James says loudly over the celebration going on around them.

"Well done, Regulus." Dorcas ruffles Regulus' hair, making him roll his eyes fondly at her.

"Reg!" Sirius yells from behind James. "You were like a fucking bird!"

He runs up to his brother, dramatically throwing his arms around him. Regulus' eyes widen in horror, but he seems to settle after the shock of it subsides. That is until Sirius pulls back, only to grab Regulus around the waist and lift him off his feet. He squeezes him so hard, James fears for a moment Regulus' eyes might pop out of his skull.

Sirius swiftly puts him down, still grinning from ear to ear. He stands aside, so Regulus and James are facing each other again. James just wants to hug him.

Is that allowed?

They're friends, right? Friends hug.

But would it be too obvious?

Before he gets to decide for himself, he feels a hand push him forward into Regulus. He reaches out at the same time that Regulus does, catching him before he falls.

"Thanks, Reggie." He smiles politely, and then turns around. He finds Marlene with a fake-innocent smile on her face. She gives him a wink.

James turns back to face Regulus, who is still holding onto his arms. He decides to chance it, quickly bundling Regulus in his arms.

"You were amazing, Morning Star," he whispers, feeling Regulus hug him back.

He lets go shortly, not wanting to cause any suspicion.

"Regulus!" Pandora and Emma call at the same time, coming from the commentator's box.

Emma had been the commentator again, which meant they had a very entertaining game today. Pandora had gone up to sit with her to keep her company and - as McGonagall had worded it - to 'keep Emma in line'.

Little did she know, Pandora was just as bad.

"I'll see you later," James smiles. "The plan is a go-go. You sure you're still alright with that?"

Regulus sighs, but nods. "Promise."

"Alright. Goodbye, Reggie."

"Bye, James."

"Bye, Reginald!" Sirius shouts, making James laugh and Regulus shake his head, embarrassed.

Since the game was on a Saturday, they have the rest of the day free. James takes this as an opportunity to plan the upcoming Hogsmeade trip. He's planning on asking Regulus to go with him, but he can't make it look too much like- like what it actually is. So, he's going to invite Regulus to not only go with him, but also with Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"You're inviting Reg to the Hogsmeade trip?" Sirius asks, leaning over James' shoulder where he's sitting at a table in the common room.

"Yeah. Is that alright?"

"Of course. It just- well, if I'm being honest, it creeps me out a bit." Sirius takes the seat beside him. "You two. Your sudden friendship."

James' heart beats rapidly in his chest.

"Surely it isn't that strange," James says confidently, raising an eyebrow.

"I suppose it makes sense, since he's living with us now. It's just... you guys never spoke to each other before, and then suddenly you're all chummy. Suppose that's your doing, eh?" Sirius smacks him on the back and smiles at him. "Always know how to bring the best out in people, Jamie."

"Don't call me that." James laughs, willing for his nerves to calm down.

"So," Sirius starts. "What are we doing in Hogsmeade next week?"

Just as James is about to answer, Peter and Remus come in through the portrait, bickering about something or other.

"-no, Peter, I don't think you're unattractive," Remus sighs. He plops himself down in the chair beside Sirius, and rests his face in his hands. "Merlin, save me. Please. He will not shut up about Emma fucking Vanity."

"Well then if it's not my looks, I don't understand why she won't just-"

"Maybe she's gay?" Sirius answers quickly, sounding just as exasperated as Remus. "Maybe she likes a girl."

Peter silences at this, looking completely forlorn at the suggestion.

"Or maybe she appreciates, you know, space." James says this kindly, in hopes it will soften the blow that Emma probably just doesn't like Peter. "Try and befriend her first, instead of suffocating her with your ever-lasting presence."

"Befriend her?" Peter asks, sitting up from his position on one of the armchairs. "I've never done that before. Usually girls just say yes."

"Must be great for you then," Remus mumbles. He casts a sneaky glance at Sirius, before staring back down at the table. Sirius doesn't seem to take any notice of this.

"Yeah, Pete. Give it a try. We're all invited to the Slytherin's victory party tonight, try and befriend her tonight."

"Ok," Peter perks up. "You'll have to give me some pointers though. I'm not so good with the whole friends first thing."

"I'm a pro at that," Sirius says, waving his hand. Remus' head snaps to the side, a bloom of hope sprouts in his eyes, until Sirius carries on. "You know? Mary."

James watches as Remus deflates, his lip curls up into a scowl.

"Speaking of the party-" James folds up the parchment he was previously planning their next Hogsmeade weekend on, and stuff it in his pocket. "What are we wearing, boys? We need to look dazzling."

"I wholeheartedly agree," Sirius grins. He claps his hands together, jumping out of his seat. "Come on, boys! Let's go get ready to partayyyy!"

James jumps after him, followed by Peter, and then a very exhausted-looking Remus.

Remus ends up wearing the exact same outfit as he did last time, only this time adding a woollen jumper on top. Peter borrows a shirt from Sirius - it's a purple button-down.

"Brings out your eyes," Sirius exclaims when Peter looks at him questioningly. "Trust me."

Sirius slides into a pair of black jeans, matched with a black Pink Floyd top, which he explains to James is a muggle band. To top it off, he pulls out his classic leather jacket.

"Won't you get too hot in that?" James asks Sirius' reflection. He's combing his hair, making sure it looks as wild as always.

Sirius only shrugs and then winks. "It'll be worth it."

Remus squirms, but only James seems to notice.

James puts on some blue jeans and keeps the green hoodie he had been wearing earlier on. He notices there's a smudge on his glasses, so he quickly cleans it off, wondering how long it could have been there for.

"Men, I think we're done." Sirius stands at the opposite side of the room than the three other boys, and holds his hands out, framing them with his fingers. He closes one eye, squinting the other. "Yep. You all look marvellous! You're welcome." He puts his hands on his hips, beaming with pride.

"Other than letting Peter borrow your shirt, what did you actually do?" Remus chuckles.

"You are in the presence of my beauty, Moony Sir. Therefore, you are guaranteed to look as stunning as the moon itself." Sirius' eyes trail up Remus and then back down. "Yep. It's definitely working."

Remus blushes furiously, and James has to fight the urge to roll his eyes.

"Come on," he says, pulling Sirius out of the door. "We're going to be late."

"Did we miss dinner?" Peter pouts.

"Yeah, but I'm sure they'll have food there," James assures him.

He practically skips all the way down to the dungeons, excited to see Regulus very soon. Sirius chases after him, exactly like he chases Prongs when he's Padfoot in the Forbidden Forest on full moons.

When they reach the dungeons, they instantly hear the harsh sounds of music playing. Not just any music-

"Bowie!" Sirius shouts, his eyes widening. He sprints to the entrance of the Slytherin common room (which is apparently permanently open for the night). Once he's inside, he yells again. "Bowie!"

"Bowie," Barty nods, grinning. He puts an arm around Sirius, holding out a drink towards him. "Regulus put it on."

"He's learning," Sirius says. "Hello. Hi. How are you? My twin, my other half!"

"We will not allow Regulus Black to stand between us tonight," Barty announces. "We will remain by each other's side the whole night!" He holds up his cup, as if making a toast.

"Yes!" Sirius raises his own cup. "Unless, we end up going off with someone to- you know. But unless that happens, we will remain together!"

"Here-here!" Barty shouts.

"I thought I could hear riff-raff," Regulus says monotonously, emerging as if from nowhere.

"Reggie!" James grins, wanting to go over to him, but not knowing what's too much and what is enough.

Regulus turns to face him, his gaze trails up from James' toes, across his body, and all the way back up to meet his eyes. James nearly chokes.

"James," he smiles politely.

They stare at one another for a few more seconds, then Dorcas comes up beside Regulus, breaking it.

"Hello, James." For the first time (possibly ever), Dorcas gives him a genuine smile. "Is Marlene here with you?"

"Uh- Marlene? No. I think her and the girls are dropping by a bit later."

Dorcas wilts at this, but thanks him anyway before leaving.

James remembers the way Marlene always become very nervous around Dorcas: cheeks reddening, pupils dilating, head sweating. He'd thought Marlene was intimidated by the Slytherin, and that was the excuse for her odd behaviour around the girl, but now... After Dorcas' genuine dissatisfaction at the news that Marlene isn't here, he thinks maybe something else is going on.

Before he gets the chance to ask Regulus anything, he's being dragged away by Remus. He takes him to a quiet corner where Evan is waiting with a tin of cigarettes.

"James has never tried one before. He's always too scared, but I think tonight is the night."

"Cigarettes- What? No. They're disgusting," James protests.

"Tonight is the night," Evan ignores James, agreeing with Remus. "Trust me, you'll want to do it sooner rather than later. Besides, it's only bad for the first couple drags, then you get used to it."

Evan pulls out three thin cigarettes, passing one to James and one to Remus, keeping the third for himself.

"We won't pressure you into trying them, James." Remus stares at him truthfully. "But Evan's right. You'll want to start now rather than later. It's better to experiment, than try it one day because you need a sense of relief and then get addicted to it."

James looks between both boys, but eventually nods.

"Ok. Fine."

"Are you sure? You don't have to," Remus asks.

"I'm sure. We're at a party, after all. Let's do this!"

"That is what I like to hear," Evan grins at him. He places the cigarette between his lips and flicks his fingers, lighting the tip of it. Remus copies him, leaving James standing alone with an unlit cigarette between his index and middle finger.

He places it between his lips and looks at Remus and Evan expectantly. Eventually, Remus shakes his head fondly, and snaps his fingers, lighting the cigarette.

"Breathe in deeply, then hold and slowly breathe out when you need to," Evan explains. His face is hidden behind a cloud of smoke that burns James' nostrils. Still, he does as he's instructed.

Breathe in-

He chokes.

Curling over, like he's going to be sick, he coughs loudly. Remus pats his back, but he can hear the two boys laughing at him.

"Bet you weren't any better your first time," James complains, holding the cigarette an arms-length away, as if it'll attack at any moment. Which it might! He doesn't know how these things work!

"Nah. I almost hurled," Remus admits. He lifts the cigarette to his lips, a look of deep concentration on his face. When he begins speaking again, his voice sounds clogged with smoke. "You'll get used to it."

James tuts and brings the cigarette back to his lips. He inhales, holds, and slowly breathes out. A white cloud forms in front of his eyes. He only coughs a little, which he sees as progress.

"Well done, mate." Evan pats him on the back, grinning through his cigarette.

"Evan," Regulus' voice comes from behind them, making James spin around. "You're already corrupting James? He's only been here for ten minutes."

Evan shrugs. "What can I say? Thought he looked like he could do with some excitement in his life."

"Hey! My life is so exciting," James counters. "I am a Marauder!"

Evan snorts, releasing smoke from his nose like a dragon. If James wasn't distracted by how fucking cool that looked, he would be offended.

"Hey, Remus," Regulus says suddenly. He smiles shyly at Remus, who looks startled, but kindly responds.

"Hey, Reg. Great party. Thanks for the invite."

"Oh, that's alright." Regulus edges closer to him, his voice growing softer by the second. "I like your outfit. It's very- um- nice."

Remus blinks. He doesn't say anything, but his mouth drops open, and his cigarette sticks to his bottom lip. Ridiculously, this almost makes James laugh. Evan is staring at his friend as if he's just told him he's pregnant.

"Regulus, are you ok?" Evan asks.

"Of course," Regulus replies. He doesn't take his eyes off Remus, who looks positively frightened. "Just wanted to say hello to Rem."

That's when James realises.

Oh. Regulus is trying to flirt with Remus. He's doing it! He's actually going through with the plan!

James almost laughs when he figures it out. This is just too ridiculous. Regulus Black is flirting with Remus Lupin to make Sirius Black jealous, all because James Potter came up with the plan. This stupid, but absolutely brilliant, plan.

"I'll be off now," Regulus flutters his eyelashes. It makes something writhe inside James' stomach.

Want.

Pure and hot fucking want.

Regulus glides away like a ghost, morphing into the crowd as if he were never there.

"That was-" Evan begins.

"Odd," Remus says.

"Scary," Evan adds.

Hilarious, James thinks.

"Hey, lads, I think I'm done with this." James passes Remus his half-smoked cigarette, grimacing at the thing like it's personally offended him. "See you around, yeah?"

"Oh. Alright," Remus answers.

"See you around." Evan takes another drag of his cigarette, holding it loosely with his wrist.

James takes off, on the hunt to find Regulus. It doesn't take him long. He finds Regulus near the entrance with Dorcas, Pandora, Lily, Marlene, and Mary.

"Girls!" James greets them, smacking a kiss on Lily, Marlene, and Mary's cheeks. "You look amazing tonight!"

"Yeah. Dorcas was just telling Marls." Lily stifles a laugh, as Marlene whacks her.

Both Dorcas and Marlene are blushing, whilst Regulus just looks very uncomfortable in the middle of all of this.

James (and his hero complex) decides to rescue him. "Reggie, want to leave the girls to it and go find Barty and Sirius?"

"Yes," Regulus says too quickly. He clears his throat and moves towards James. "I think they're this way."

"Bye ladies." James waves at them and follows Regulus back through the crowd, once again.

Regulus doesn't take him to Barty and Sirius, but instead out of the entrance, and down the corridors of the dungeons. They go somewhere shadowed and isolated, far from the party.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Regulus chants under his breath. He paces back and forth, pulling at his hair. "Why did I do that? Why did I let you talk me into it? Fuck. Fuck!"

"Reggie-" James reaches out to grab his wrists, but Regulus ignores him.

"That was so embarrassing. I looked like an idiot. Why did I do it in front of Evan? He's never going to let that go. I-"

"Regulus!" James raises his voice, and Regulus stops pacing.

"No. Don't do that," Regulus orders in a steady voice that makes James shiver. "Do not call me that."

"Sorry. I had to get your attention, Morning Star."

The creases in his face soften slightly at the nickname.

"I am so embarrassed," he whispers, clenching his eyes shut.

"You shouldn't be. You were bloody amazing." Regulus' eyes open, he's met with James' sincere stare. "I don't know why you thought you were bad at flirting. It was great- you were great. Don't be embarrassed, Reggie. You were fantastic. You were lovely. You-"

James is cut off by Regulus throwing himself at him. He stumbles backwards into the wall and reciprocates the kiss as soon as his body remembers how to respond. Regulus has him by the collar, both pulling him closer, and somehow trying to push him through the wall.

This is dangerous. So very dangerous.

They're hidden in the shadows, but they're still in the vicinity of the party. They're still in the dungeons- in public. If they're caught- if they-

His brain is interrupted by the moan that leaves Regulus' mouth. It's only then that he realises he's kissing Regulus' neck, and he's not doing it so gently. His hands are cupped around the sides of Regulus' neck, just able to feel the gentle brush of curls at the bottom of his head.

James trails his bottom lip from Regulus' collar bone, all the way back up to his lips, where he kisses him again. Not trying to be soft or sweet. Not trying to take his time. No, he is on a mission. He is not wasting time. He will kiss Regulus until he can't breathe if he has to. If it means he can feel this forever. He-

There's a clanging noise that echoes up the corridor. Regulus pulls away from him, his back hitting the opposite wall in a matter of seconds. James watches as Regulus' panicked eyes search the extent of the hallway. They relax after a moment, which tells James it was probably nothing.

"We should- We can't do this here," Regulus pants. He wipes his mouth with his fist, and straightens out his hair and clothes. He fixes his posture and breathes steadily in and out a few times. "Come on. We should get back to the party. The dorm's free. We can-"

"Ok," James interrupts. He's unable to wipe the smile off his face. When Regulus looks at him sternly, he settles. Trying to look as normal as possible. He also fixes his clothes, which are crumpled at the collar. "Alright. I'm rightfully composed or whatever. Let's go."

Regulus smiles apologetically at him, before heading back towards the party.

When they get back, they spot Remus and Sirius immediately.

"Regulus!" Sirius slurs, clearly very drunk already. "My favourite brother!"

"I'm your only brother," Regulus states.

"Whatever. You're always so mean to me." Sirius pouts and crosses his arms. He tilts his head away from Regulus stubbornly, sticking his nose in the air.

"Ignore him. He's in a bit of a mood. Barty left him to hang out with Evan," Remus explains.

"He said he wouldn't," Sirius moans. "He said he wouldn't leave me. You won't leave me, will you, Moony? Will you?"

"Never," Remus smiles at the fool in front of him.

Sirius swoons and falls forward, making Remus have to dive to catch him.

"Always there for me. My saviour!" Sirius wraps his arms around Remus' neck, hanging there like a child. "I love you, Moonage Daydream!"

"Love you too, man." Remus laughs warmly at the idiot in his arms.

"No, but like, we should get married." Sirius slurs again. Remus blushes, attempting to drag Sirius towards the couch in front of the fireplace. "Then you'll really never leave me. My Moony. Always my Moony."

"How do they not see it?" Regulus whispers to James. "I just don't understand. How..?"

"They are both very obvious and very oblivious, Love. They have no hope." James shakes his head solemnly. Then he leans into Regulus and breathes. "Bedroom?"

Regulus clenches his jaw and starts walking in the direction of the dormitories. James smirks to himself and follows the head of dark curls in front of him.

"I'll lock the door," Regulus explains, taking the stairs two at a time. "You just- get started."

James laughs at this, it carries up the stairs like a symphony.

Regulus practically sprints to the door, opening it as fast as humanly possible. James is right behind him.

They step into the room and Regulus immediately turns around, eyes wide with horror. He hears a scream and looks over Regulus' shoulder-

There is no way.

How did he not see it before? How could he not have known? Also, is everyone gay now? Seriously. James has asked Regulus this before, and it is proving to be true.

Regulus pushes James out the door and slams it behind them.

"That was-"

"I know," Regulus interrupts in a small voice.

"They were-"

"I know."

"Evan and Barty!"

"I know, James. I saw!" Regulus begins to pace the small layout of floor around them, fiddling with the ring on his right index finger. "I saw..."

"Are you alright?"

He stops his pacing, looking at James. His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion.

"Am I alright? I'm fine. I mean- I knew something was going on between them. Pandora refused to believe it, said I was being ridiculous and reading too much into it, but I knew. I thought I knew, but I didn't. Not really, and now- Now that vision is going to be in my head until the day I die. Merlin, save me."

"If it helps, it'll be in my head forever too. It's half the suffering if you share it with someone else, right? Isn't that how that saying goes?" James blabbers on frantically.

"I don't know," Regulus cries. "Oh, we just- they were- It was secret for a reason. Otherwise they would have told me. I feel so bad! For fucks sake!" Regulus' hands clench into fists. "No. You know what? I shouldn't feel bad. There is a lock on that door for a fucking reason, and they should bloody well learn how to use it! It's their fault they didn't lock the door, and now we're going to be traumatised forever."

"I doubt this is exactly what they wanted. We should go and apologise. But maybe not just yet. Let's give them a minute to... clean themselves up."

Regulus groans, looking helpless.

James sits on the stone floor, leaning against the wall. After a minute of watching Regulus pace again, he says, "Sit. You'll feel better."

Regulus does sit, but he only starts to fidget with his ring again. It's funny, but James has never actually seen this ring before. It's almost convenient that it's here now when Regulus seems to need it most.

"Where did you get your ring?" He asks, hoping to take Regulus' mind off of whatever they just witnessed.

"My Uncle Alphard sent it to me yesterday. It's nice," he holds it out, allowing the light from the candelabra to shimmer across it. "He's gay too, you know? It's funny, for a family who claims to be so pure, it seems to have a lot of queer people in it."

"I don't think that's the impure part," James mumbles. "Perhaps the queer part comes after the incest."

Regulus chuckles. "Yeah. I suppose."

The door to the dormitory cracks open, causing James to jump. Regulus only stares blankly at the door. No one comes to tell them they can come in, so they assume that's their invitation to.

James gets up first, holding a hand out for Regulus, who takes it slowly. Regulus walks in before James. He takes him time. Approaching the door like it might reach out and bite him.

Once they're both in the room, James quietly shuts the door behind them and uses the lock. No one else should be coming in anyway, but just in case. I think everyone has learned their lesson today that you can never be too careful. If there's a lock on a door, fucking use it.

Evan is sitting on one bed, scrunched up in a ball, with his arms around his legs, whilst Barty is on another. He's sitting with one of his legs dangling over the bed, it's bouncing up and down anxiously, and he's biting his nails. He stares at Regulus cautiously, but Evan only stares into the space in front of him. They're both fully dressed now - thank Merlin.

"Regulus," Barty speaks barely above a whisper. He's begging with his eyes, but James is unsure why.

"It's ok, Barty." Regulus nods to himself, and looks over at his friend. "I promise."

"We just wanted to apologise," Evan blurts out. James is sure he's never heard him speak so loudly. "I mean- we're not sorry for hiding it, because we had every right to. But I mean the whole not locking the door thing and you-" Evan flinches, apparently reliving it. "You seeing what you did. We're very sorry. To both of you."

Evan's gaze flickers to James, who gives him a kind smile, hoping it shows him the forgiveness he is trying to portray to them.

"I don't care that you kept it from me, that's up to you. You weren't subtle," Regulus raises an eyebrow at them both, and they go still. "If someone as oblivious as I noticed something was going on, then I'm sure other people will start to. As a wise person once told me, be careful."

Evan and Barty's eyes both move to James, who feels like he's missed something.

"Are you sure you're alright with it- with us?" Barty asks, looking as if he's about to cry. "You don't think it's a bad idea?"

"Why would it matter what I think?" Regulus looks confused now too. "I just want you both to be happy. I also hope you both know what you're doing and know that your friendship is a priority. So, if this doesn't work out - if - then you can't hate each other. You'll have to make it work, because we need each other. Ok? We stick together. Always."

Evan gets up first, crossing the room, and wrapping his arms tightly around Regulus. Barty glances at them nervously, before following and squeezing himself into the hug too.

James feels like he's intruding, so he silently makes his way back to the door. He unlocks it and slides out, leaving them to talk alone.

As soon as he's descended from the stairs, Lily comes parading towards him with a drink in her hand, and that determined glint in her green eyes.

"Did you talk to Regulus about Pandora yet?" She asks nervously, fiddling with the rim of the paper cup in her hand.

"I did. He said he would ask her, but I might not get an answer." James looks down at the red-head pityingly, as she stares sadly at her drink. "It's up to Pandora who she tells, I suppose. Unless you want to ask her now, you could-"

"No!" Lily says suddenly, shaking her head. Her eyes are blazing with something that looks like fear. "No, there's already been enough rejection tonight."

"Rejection?" James questions, his brow furrowing. "Who?"

"I really shouldn't spread it around, but I suppose you'll find out soon enough anyway. Dorcas asked Marlene if she wanted to go to Hogsmeade with her, like, on a date."

"Did Marlene say no?" James hadn't been certain if there was anything going on there, but he did have a hunch, so this surprised him.

"Yes. I don't think it had anything to do with Dorcas, I think it was because she-" Lily stops herself, her eyes widening. She quickly brings her cup to her lips, and downs the whole thing.

"She what, Lily?" 

"Nothing. I can't tell you, ok? Just trust me on this. I- I'm not allowed to tell you." She sighs and shakes her head. "At least one good thing came of tonight," Lily points towards a corner of the room where Mary is currently snogging Toby Maxwell. "She's liked him for ages. That's why she broke up with Sirius. I'm just glad someone is enjoying themselves."

James hadn't seen that coming. 

What's Toby even doing here? He's a Hufflepuff - they literally just lost to the Slytherins in the Quidditch match, and are out of this year's game for good.

At least Mary looks happy. She's smiling from ear to ear, in a way Sirius was never able to make her do. Toby looks just as smitten; holding her face as if it's something precious, grinning down at her like he's found the greatest treasure of the world.

He has.

James searches the room, hoping to catch sight of Sirius, but he has no such luck. He does spot Remus in the corner of the room again. Smoking. This time, without Evan.

"Lils, have you seen Sirius anywhere?"

"He's walking Marls back to Gryffindor Tower," she explains, having to shout slightly over the volume of the music. "She was a bit upset after everything. He said he'll be back later."

"Oh, ok. Hey, I'll see you later. Yeah? I'm just going to go and check on Remus." James squeezes her shoulder before swiftly making his way back over to the dreaded window.

"How you doing, Moony?" James asks as he perches himself on the window ledge beside Remus.

Remus takes a drag of his cigarette. He's not looking at James, but instead stares up at the half-full moon above. He doesn't stare at it with hatred as one would imagine he would. He looks at it like he's asking it a question; why?

"Alright. You?" He breathes out, filling the air with that slicing smell that hurts James' chest.

"It's been a long night," he chuckles, also tilting his head to watch the moon. He notices the stars, almost like they're calling out to him, and points to a cluster of them. "Remus, take a look at this. That is Orion, and that is Orion's belt. You see? It kind of looks like a man kneeling and holding a shield and a club."

Remus follows his gaze. His face settles into a focused frown, and James guesses Remus can't see what he can.

"And next to it is the Taurus constellation. Look, it's like a bull, aiming it's horns towards Orion. Can you see it?"

"Not really," Remus responds, sounding distant. "I see the stars and the connections, but I've never understood the whole pictures in the stars thing."

"Oh, well you're missing out, mate."

"How do you know all of this anyway?" Remus asks, taking another puff of his cigarette.

"Regulus." James shrugs, still staring up at the sky, smiling. He can feel Remus' eyes on him, but he doesn't turn to look back at the boy, fearing what he might find there. For some reason, he thinks he'll see something he doesn't want to.

They sit there and make light conversation every now and then, eventually being joined by Sirius. He says he stayed with Marlene until she passed out. Apparently, she had been mumbling something about Mary hating her, and then about Dorcas hating her, and misread feelings. Something he couldn't understand, so he believes it was just some drunk ramblings.

"Pass me a cigarette will you, Moons?" Sirius jumps up onto the window ledge, positioning himself in between Remus and James. 

"No," Remus replies moodily. He pulls the tin away and stuffs it in his pocket.

"But you let James smoke!" Sirius moans, sounding like a child who has been told no.

"Yeah, he's not you. I don't want you smoking. They're a bad habit and they rot your lungs."

"You're smoking right now!"

Remus just shrugs, turning away, as Sirius continues to bicker with him. James knows Remus just doesn't want to get Sirius hooked on these things because he cares about him. Not in the way you do your friend - you have less power over what your friends do. He cares about Sirius in a protective way. Instinctive. Territorial. 

Like the wolf inside him, he has marked Sirius as his own.

They're still snapping at each other ten minutes later. Just as James is about to tell them to both button it, or he'll push them out the window, Regulus approaches them.

"There you are, Remus." Regulus glances sweetly at Remus, fluttering his eyelashes again. Remus looks both confused and concerned.

"Here I am?" 

"I've been looking for you."

"You have?" Remus squeaks, looking very obviously uncomfortable.

"Of course I have."

James notices Sirius hanging onto every word of the conversation. He's staring at his brother with a mixture of pure confusion and painful realisation.

Maybe it's working.

"W- what did you need me for, Regulus?" Remus stutters, but tries to remain cool.

Regulus slowly walks closer to the window ledge and tucks his hair behind his ears. He looks so small right now. So small and innocent.

So bloody brilliant, James thinks.

How is he so good at acting?

Regulus leans one of his hands, palm-down, on the stone ledge, with his back facing Sirius. He looks so nonchalant and... sexy.

James scolds himself, remembering that this is important.

It's for Sirius. 

For Sirius.

It's not real.

Still, a part of him feels jealous. Jealous that Regulus will never act like a fool in front of him. Jealous that Regulus will never truly flirt with him. Will never like him.

Just physical.

"How's your night been?"

James is behind Regulus, so he can only see the back of his head, but by the way Remus is staring frightenedly at his lips, James can only guess that Regulus is probably biting them.

"Fine."

"Just 'fine'?" Regulus asks, his voice sounding cocky and confident - scarily close to his brother's. "That's not good enough. Would you like me to make it better?" The confidence falters slightly. "Just tell me how."

"No, actually, I- uh-" Remus stumbles off the ledge, almost falling flat on his face. "I'm tired- yeah. I think I'm going to go." He casts one last wide-eyed stare at James and Sirius before speed-walking away and out of the portrait.

"What the fuck was that all about?" Sirius stares at his brother, looking horrified.

"What?" Regulus asks innocently.

"Were you flirting with Remus?!"

Regulus just shrugs. "Would that be a bad thing?"

"That- I don't-" Sirius jumps down from the ledge, walking a small distance away. He turns back around and yells, "Yes!" before leaving through the portrait too.

"And why ever would that be a bad thing, Sirius?" James murmurs, smiling at Regulus. "The plan is working!"

"I'll admit, you were right. It is working, and I am immensely embarrassed." He pinches the bridge of his nose, allowing his eyes to close. "I want to go and drown myself in the lake."

"It won't be for much longer," James promises, jumping down from the window. "Really. They'll be falling all over each other soon."

Regulus drops his hand and glares at James. "It's Remus and Sirius. We'll probably still be doing this in ten years."

James laughs at that, but stops as soon as Regulus' glare hardens. He clears his throat.

"Did everything go alright with-" he leans in to whisper "-Evan and Barty?"

"Oh. Actually, yeah." Regulus smiles softly. "Apparently Barty's dad kicked him out at the beginning of last summer and he has been living with Evan ever since. He even went on holiday with Evan and his mum to Norway. They've liked each other for a while. They kissed in the summer, but did nothing else about it because they didn't think they were allowed. Then they found out about me being gay and I think that's when they started accepting their feelings for each other." Regulus sighs deeply, carrying on. "They only officially got together over Christmas. I don't think they wanted anyone to know yet. Oh, yeah. They told me to tell you again that they really are sorry you walked in on- well, yeah..."

"Oh, it's fine." James waves his hand, grinning. "I'm just happy for them. They really do make a great couple."

"Yeah."

"I should probably tell you- uh- Dorcas asked someone on a date tonight, and they said no. So, she might be a bit upset. I think she went up to her room with Emma."

"Do you know she asked?" Regulus' eyes fill with panic, he frantically searches the common room with his eyes.

"Yeah."

"Marlene McKinnon?" Regulus spits the name like it's poison.

"Yeah. Did you know she was going to?"

"It was my idea," Regulus groans, covering his face with his hands. "Now she's upset because of me."

"It's not your fault, Reggie-"

"Yes, it is!" He snaps, dropping his hands and glaring at James. "You should go. I need to make sure Dorcas is alright."

And with that, Regulus leaves. James doesn't see him for the rest of the night.

***

February comes quickly, bringing with it an upcoming Hogsmeade trip, another full moon, and a lot of mixed emotions.

Barty is more hyper than usual, whilst Evan always seems alert. Lily is slowly growing more impatient with each new day, but she holds out hope. Mary grins at everyone and anyone now, seemingly always in a chirpy mood (James expects he should thank Toby for that). Marlene, who is usually always laughing or making jokes, has barely spoken a word to anyone since the party. According to Regulus, neither has Dorcas.

Sirius is a whole different story; he's either frustrated or excited, like he's trying to figure out how to react to something, but he's unsure. He's come to James at night to "confess something", as he puts it, but never actually ends up doing the confessing. He only mumbles incoherently, until he inevitably falls asleep.

Remus just looks exhausted. He's gone into robot-Remus mode (this used to happen more in first year when they didn't know about his furry little problem). It's like he's been so overwhelmed with everything going on around him that he's just completely given up, and is just trying to get through every day calmly.

Regulus has been on edge a lot ever since they started the Remus plan. James has offered to stop it a few times, but Regulus always sharply refuses and ends the conversation. So, James has learnt to drop it.

James.

He's overwhelmed too these days. He has so many secrets to keep, plans to manage, feelings to hide. It's a miracle he hasn't exploded yet, or had any breakdowns.

He's hiding Evan and Barty's relationship, his and Regulus' deal, the Remus and Sirius plan. He knows Lily likes Pandora, but he can't tell Pandora or anyone else. He knows Marlene has a secret, but only Lily (and potentially Mary) knows. He knows Dorcas likes Marlene, asked her out, and was rejected. He knows Sirius and Remus like each other, but he also can't tell anyone about that. And he has to deal with his own ever-growing, very real, feelings for Regulus.

The only person he isn't keeping a secret for nowadays, is Pete.

He doesn't think he'd be able to handle anymore secrets or surprises right now.

Unfortunately, the universe has other plans for him.

A couple of weeks after the party (on the morning after a full moon), James, Sirius and Peter stumble back into the common room to find three girls sitting on the couch. Waiting.

"Oh! Hello, girls. Do you mind if we-" Sirius points towards the stairs. "We're shattered."

"And why is that, Sirius Black?" Mary interrogates, arching an eyebrow. 

"Yes," Marlene leans forward. "Why is it that you three boys were out all night?"

"Surely you weren't at a party. Without us?" Lily adds.

"Yes!" Peter squeaks, nervously. "We were at a party! That's it- that's where we were."

Mary laughs haughtily. "Oh, Peter. We weren't feeding you a suggestion just so that you could lie to us. No, no, dear boy. We know where you were."

"Where you go," Marlene speaks.

"Every month," Lily says.

"On a full moon," Mary finishes.

James stills. He feels as both Peter and Sirius do too.

"What? What are you talking about?" Sirius asks, laughing. "Are you saying were- Surely Mary you cannot think we are all-"

"Not all of you," Marlene interrupts.

"Just one of you," Lily says. She sounds less cocky now, concern fills her eyes. At that, James knows what's coming next. Remus is Lily's best friend. Of course, she'll be worried.

"Where is Remus?" Mary questions, her voice more gentle than before. "Is he alright?"

"Remus? He's fine. He's-" Sirius stutters, and James can smell the boy's anxiety.

"Sirius," James cuts in. "I think they know."

"James!" Sirius hisses. "Shut up."

"Sirius, darling," Marlene whispers. "We do know."

"We're not going to hurt him," Mary confirms.

"And we would never tell a soul," Lily says, her eyes full of sincerity.

"We wanted to tell you!" Peter bursts, apparently not able to keep it in anymore. "But we promised and we wanted to keep him safe."

"We understand, Pete," Lily reassures him. She stands and wraps an arm around his shoulders. "We understand you wouldn't want to betray him. He's your friend."

"Why did he tell you and not us?" Mary asks.

"He didn't," James responds. "We figured it out at the end of first year. We live with him, it was pretty hard not to realise his bed was empty once a month."

"Where does he go?" 

"Is he alright?"

"He's never hurt anyone has he?"

The three boys sit down, Lily re-joins Mary and Marlene at the couch. They answer any and all questions the girls seem to have. No one enters or leaves the common room, as it's still only six in the morning by the time they finish.

"I have one more question," Mary says. "Why is it that you three - humans - leave on a full moon too?"

Sirius and James smirk at each other, whilst Peter starts to fidget in his seat.

"Should we show them or tell them?" James asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, definitely show," Sirius smirks back at him.

"Are we sure about this?" Peter says, nervously. "We don't want to get in trouble."

"They aren't going to tell anyone, Wormy." Sirius rolls his eyes, signalling for Peter to stand next to himself and James. "On the count of three."

"One," James says.

"Two," Peter counts.

"THREE!" Sirius barks.

At the same time, a rat, a black dog, and a stag appear in the Gryffindor common room. 

Lily shrieks and Marlene's eyes widen. Mary sits, staring at them like she already knew.

"Werewolves only attack humans," she grins at them. "Oh, boys, you're geniuses! How did you do it?"

James transforms back. Sirius scampers over to the girls, sitting on the floor in front of the couch, letting Marlene fuss over him. Peter crawls up into James' lap, and falls asleep.

"It took us three years. Sirius first came up with the idea in second year. It didn't work until we were in fifth year, but when it did, Remus was so happy." James smiles widely, reliving the memory. "It was... magic." 

***

James has never asked anyone out before. Ok, so he's asked Regulus to participate in a secret sex deal with him, but he's never actually asked anyone on a date before.

Not that it's going to be a date. 

Does it count as a date if all of your friends are there and if you don't actually clarify that it is a date?

Regulus and James are walking to the Great Hall together, after bumping into each other on the way. James had bounded right up to him with a cheery smile on his face.

"James, are you free later?" Regulus whispers. He blushes and oh, James loves it when he does that. Whenever he asks James to meet up with him (knowing what that will entail), he gets all shy and it's really fucking adorable.

"For you? Always."

Regulus' blush grows and James mentally pats himself on the back. 

"Alright. Come and Go Room at nine?"

"I can't wait." James grins at him, bouncing away now that they have reached the Great Hall.

He will ask Reggie about the Hogsmeade trip then. 

Yes.

He will do that.

And he will not be nervous.

No.

Not at all.

Nope.

Not he, James Potter.

His leg bounces all day, and Remus has to remind him seven times to stop biting his nails. He's got a habit of doing that whenever he's feeling anxious or worried.

"What's got you so riled up?" Sirius asks him as they leave their final lesson of the day, Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"Nothing," James says quickly. He takes a breath and slaps on a smirk. "Just want to make sure our next prank goes perfectly."

"Ah," Sirius says knowingly. "Pre-prank nerves. Been there my friend, it'll be fine. There's no need to get so nervous about it."

"I'm not nervous!"

"Oh, sure." Sirius shakes his head and rolls his eyes, smirking.

At quarter to nine, James sneaks out of his bed under the invisibility cloak. He'd told the boys he wasn't feeling well and spelled himself shut in his bed. They're still up and wandering about the room. 

Peter's in the bathroom and Remus is lying on his bed, staring at the canopy above. James needs to be careful not to be caught.

The coast is clear, he starts forward at the same time Sirius jumps off his bed, making his way towards Remus. He has to stop abruptly, hoping Sirius doesn't brush against the cloak.

He does slightly, but he doesn't seem to notice. 

There's that look in Sirius' eye he normally gets when he's trying to be brave. When he's absolutely adamant on what he is supposed to be doing.

"Moony?" Sirius whispers, and James knows he should just leave. He should go. So, he does. 

If Sirius is whispering it's because he doesn't want Peter to overhear him, which means that he -James - should not hear what he's about to say either. Whatever it is, it's between Sirius and Remus.

He takes his chance and heads to the door, slowly opening it and checking that no one noticed. They didn't. He slips out, slowly closing the door behind him.

It takes him a while to get there, as he has to avoid Prefects on patrol. Plus, he has to climb all the way up to the seventh floor. Luckily, he doesn't run into anyone and makes it safely to the Come and Go Room.

He steps inside the already vanishing doors and comes face-to-face with Reggie.

Regulus is no longer in his uniform, similarly to James, he's dressed in pyjamas. Effie definitely bought these for him, as they look exactly like Sirius', only green tartan instead of red. He's wearing a plain black top instead of the matching pyjama shirt, making him look soft and comfortable.

James isn't dressed in proper pyjamas, just something he can lounge about in. He knew he'd be meeting Regulus, but he didn't know how long for. He's wearing the green hoodie again, with grey shorts that reach down the length of his thighs. He'd even forgotten to put shoes on and just left the dorm in his socks; one of them is still halfway up his calf, but the other has slipped down to his ankle.

"Hi, Morning Star," James grins, pulling his cloak off and gently putting it down on the back of one of the chairs in the kitchen area.

"Hi," Regulus says. He sounds breathless - maybe he ran here?

"You look really adorable dressed like that." James approaches him slowly, staring at him dreamily.

"Shut up, Potter," Regulus says, but he's blushing.

Yes, do that. 

I want to be able to make you do that.

"What did you ask me here for?" James asks.

Regulus meets his eyes, they're filled with anxiety, which worries James. Before he gets the chance to ask if he's alright, Regulus takes the final step to close the gap between them, and pulls James into an eager kiss.

Regulus squeezes James' hair between his fingers, but it feels all wrong. It shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't be something used to cover up pain or anxiety or whatever it is that Regulus is feeling. It's supposed to feel good, but this feels like tainting it. Like staining the fantasy with reality.

"Reg-" he manages, pulling back slightly. His will power is shit apparently, because when Regulus leans back in, he doesn't hesitate before following suit. "Regulus- Reg- Stop."

Regulus pulls back, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. He's panting as he turns around, looking close to tears.

"Reggie. We don't- if you're upset about something, we don't have to do that alright. I can listen, I'm a great listener. You're not just a random hook-up to me," James admits and Regulus turns to face him. His cheeks are red, but still dry. He hasn't cried... yet. "You're also my friend-"

Regulus snorts at that, he almost sounds unfriendly.

"Friends? You think we're friends? James, we aren't friends. You're my brother's best friend and we live together, but we aren't friends." He says it with such conviction that James almost believes it to be true, but no... it can't be. They are friends. They are.

"Reggie, you're kind of breaking my heart here," James whispers, trying to get Regulus to meet his eye.

Regulus looks up at him, face blank of any emotion. "How can I break something I've never had?"

James does feel a pang in his heart, because Regulus does have it. He does, and it scares James sometimes. It scares him how someone has his heart but doesn't know it, because Merlin knows what they could do with it if they let go of it, let it fall, without even knowing they had it in the first place.

"Please, just tell me what's wrong." James tries to keep all pity out of his eyes, knowing Regulus doesn't like that. Instead, his lips curl up into a small, friendly smile. Something that tells Regulus, I'm here.

Regulus' forehead wrinkles as he scrunches his eyebrows together. His eyes are distant, and for a moment James thinks he isn't going to respond.

"It's my dad. He's dying."

"Oh, shit," James breathes.

"Yeah."

"I'm really sorry, Reggie."

"It's alright," Regulus gives him a small, sad smile in return. "He was never much of a dad anyway."

James frowns. He would compliment himself in saying he knows Regulus pretty well by now. He knows the boy doesn't like to talk about his feelings, and if he does, you shouldn't push him. He also knows that most of the time Regulus doesn't even admit those feelings to himself, leaving himself in the dark. Drowning in all these thoughts and feelings he can't even reach - can't even see.

He looks at Regulus once more; he looks like a paper ball, scrunching in on itself. He looks so small.

So so small.

James steps forward and without thinking about it, he wraps his arms around Regulus' shoulders and forces him into a hug. He rests his chin on the smaller boy's head of curls and let's Regulus decide what to do next.

Regulus stands as still as a statue for a while, just allowing James to hold him. Then, slowly, he wraps his own arms around James' torso and bows his head. James lifts up one of his hands to stroke it through Regulus' hair soothingly.

It seems to work as some of the tension from his shoulders lessen, so James repeats the movement over and over.

They stand like that for ages, just existing together. With each other. For each other. James doesn't know the difference when it comes to Regulus.

After a while, James' legs grow tired. He tries to pull away, but Regulus whines and pulls him closer. James smiles down at him, planting a kiss on the top of his head.

"I'm just going to move us to the couch, Love," he whispers.

Regulus nods. James starts walking them over to the couch, not letting go until they get there. He lays down first, getting comfortable, and when Regulus stares blankly at him, he holds out his arms. 

Regulus obliges, lying down next to James, and folding himself in his arms.

James keeps him there, safe, all night. They don't speak. They don't move. They watch the ceiling of stars move around above them. 

Right before James is about to nod off, he leans down close to Regulus' ear and asks, "Will you go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"

Regulus stays still and then nods, and James fades away.

***

On the morning of the Hogsmeade trip, James meets Regulus outside the Great Hall. He made sure to dress as casually as possible, but also- he asked Sirius for clothing advice about seven times.

In the end, he decided on jeans, a red hoodie (not the one Regulus stole because he still has not gotten that back yet), and a denim jacket. Remus said he looked a lot like a muggle, which James decided to take as a compliment.

Regulus shows up right on time, which is late compared to James, who showed up very early. 

James' jaw drops through the floor and into the kitchen with the house-elves. Regulus is wearing black cargo jeans, a white top tucked into them (which shows off the silver serpentine belt he's wearing), and a black jacket over that.

How the hell does he look like a fucking model and James is walking around looking like the village idiot? He supposes, if they were in a relationship, that would probably be the dynamic of it anyway.

Unfortunately for James, this only makes his crush on Regulus multiply by a million! Does it count as a crush if you think you're in love with them? There should me a name for this stage.

Regulus, who was previously walking with Evan and Barty, says goodbye to his friends. He searches the entrance hall and stops when his eyes settle on James, who has officially stopped gawking at him.

He watches as Regulus' gaze travels up the length of his body, and he suddenly feels like he's on display. Being tested. He also feels like he's failing.

Then Regulus smiles at him.

It's only small, but enough to show a dimple on the right side of his face, and James knows he will remember it forever.

"Reggie, you look- Wow. Where did you get those clothes? They're-" He shakes his head, apparently gawking again.

"Thank you, I- er- appreciate it," Regulus says. His voice sounds strained, like he's struggling. "You look nice too. How many of those jumpers do you own?"

"I have double of each colour," James smiles proudly. "You didn't answer me. Where did you get the clothes?"

"Your mum took me shopping on one of the days after Christmas," he explains and they start to walk. "My clothes before were a bit-"

"Fancy-pants?" James supplies.

Regulus lets out a stifled laugh. "That's not quite the word I was thinking of... but sure."

"You still look a bit fancy-pants," James says, examining Regulus with his eyes again. "But in a hot way, like a spy or something."

Regulus makes a noise as if he's been stabbed, but coughs and doesn't answer.

"Reg! James!" Sirius shouts from somewhere behind them.

They both turn around and watch as Sirius, dragging Remus behind him by the wrist, starts leaping towards them.

"May we join you?" 

"Absolutely!" James says at the same time Regulus mutters, "No."

"Reginald, don't be like that."

"Va-t'en, Sirius. Moi et James traînons ensemble. Seul," Regulus speaks. It comes out of him as naturally as English does, making James feel something tug in the pit of his stomach.

"Ooh, comme un rendez-vous?" Sirius responds, and James watches as Remus proceeds to almost faint on the floor. They share a look that says, The Black brothers can speak fluent French. Merlin have mercy on our souls.

"Non. Pas un rendez-vous. Nous sommes amis. Les amis traînent tout le temps seuls. Et Lupin, hein? Est-il votre rendez-vous?" Regulus raises an eyebrow, possibly challenging Sirius (James doesn't know!).

"Touché," Sirius says.

"Lupin? I heard my name," Remus says frantically, as if they've solved a part of this French puzzle. "What do you think they're saying?"

"Just because we're speaking in French, doesn't mean we've forgotten how to understand English," Regulus looks at Remus. 

"Come on, Moony." Sirius grabs Remus' wrist, pulling him away. "We're leaving."

"Au revoir," Regulus calls cheerily, wiggling his fingers at the back of Sirius' head.

James swivels round to face Regulus. "You are going to need to do that again. I will never grow tired of it."

"I'll probably never do it again," Regulus shrugs.

"Of course you won't." James chuckles. 

He wants Regulus to say their marriage vows in French. 

Is he crazy?

No.

Obsessed?

Maybe...

They make light conversation on the way over to the little village, mostly about school and what they're going to be doing over the Easter holidays when they go back home.

"Hey, did you ever end up going to Slug Club?" James asks. He's been curious about this ever since Regulus skipped his first meeting to comfort James.

"Yeah."

"Did you like it? How was it?"

"It was pretty good," he answers slowly. "I don't think I'll go again though. Not really my type of thing anymore. It was all fancy-pants suits and eight-course meals. A bit too noble and ancient for me - if you get my gist."

James nods, immediately understanding.

"Even if I had liked it, I don't have time for it this year," Regulus continues. He's walking with his hands in his jean pockets. James' arms are by his sides, every now and then they'll brush Regulus, and his heart will beat a little faster. 

"How is your studying going?" James asks and then laughs. "Haven't been distracting you too much, have I?"

"Oh, yeah. You have, I- uh- actually I'm supposed to be at my study club right now."

"What? Reggie, I'm so sorry. You can still make it if you go now! I didn't know. I'm sorry, I-"

He's interrupted by Regulus laughing. Actually properly laughing. With his teeth showing, eyes bright and everything.

"James, I'm joking." He calms himself down almost immediately. "Messing with you is one of my greatest joys in life."

"And hearing you laugh is one of mine." 

It comes out before he is able to stop it. Did he seriously just say that out loud?

Apparently so because Regulus is now blushing profusely.

"Where do you want to go first?" Regulus asks, clearing his throat. They've officially arrived, and are now wandering through the village. 

The air smells sickly sweet, like honey and sugar. The village is lit by twinkling lights from each house and building that glitter against the thin sheet of snow still blanketing the roofs. James feels a bit like he's just walked into a snow globe.

"Where do you want to go, Reggie?"

"The Three Broomsticks?" Regulus suggests, shrugging. "We could get some lunch, I haven't eaten yet today."

"Ok, let's go!"

When they enter the Three Broomsticks, they are surrounded by Hogwarts students and teachers. It's not a very desolate place.

Mary and Toby are squished together in a booth near the far corner of the room. Snape, Mulciber and Avery are sat around a circular table. Then there's also Phoebe Dawson with her group of friends, and Slughorn, Hagrid, and Flitwick scattered in different parts of the pub.

No privacy here then.

"You grab a seat, I'll order us some drinks and get Rosmerta to come and take our food order," James says.

Regulus nods before going off to find a table. James gets them both butterbeers - his with some extra cinnamon on top - and finds that Regulus has vacated to a dark corner of the pub, where they will be hidden from view.

"Dorcas told me to bring this." Regulus reaches into his pocket and pulls out the small polaroid camera he got for Christmas. "She said we could take pictures and they won't move like wizard ones."

"Cool. Want to try it now?" James places his drink down on the table and holds his hand out for the camera.

"Ok then." Regulus passes him the camera. "What are we going to take a picture of then?"

"How about us?"

"Alright," Regulus replies, sounding reluctant.

James extends his arm, holding the camera above their head level slightly to get a good angle. He presses the button, which releases a white flash. There's a funny scratchy noise from inside the tiny camera, and then-

A very small picture sprouts out of the top. James take it and sees that it's blank?

"Did we do this right?"

"Dorcas said something about flapping it through the air," Regulus says, leaning in closer to look at it.

James starts wafting it through the air like a madman, willing it to work. When he finally stops (at Regulus' instruction), they both stare down at it. 

There, like a painting, is a miniature picture of Regulus and James. 

James is grinning from ear to ear and has his free arm wrapped around Regulus' shoulders. Regulus, who somehow manages to look even more like a model in the picture, is smiling shyly at the camera. His cheeks and nose are painted pink from the cold and his hair is sitting perfectly, slightly curtaining his face.

"Here," he passes it to Regulus. "Something to put on your wall at home."

"Thanks." Regulus takes the picture, staring down at it amazed. "Strange."

"Very strange," James adds.

After they've eaten, they stay for a bit, letting their food go down. James manages to make Regulus laugh a couple of times (both massive achievements in his mind).

"Did you ever ask Pandora about Lily?" James asks, remembering his promise to Lily.

"I did. She told me to say that if Lily likes her, she should tell her herself. She likes confident people."

"Ok, thanks." James smiles to himself. "That's got to be a good sign then, eh? Surely she won't get Lily to ask her herself just to reject her?"

"Pandora isn't spiteful, she's the sweetest person that has ever existed. So, I doubt it."

James smiles.

"This is the year of love!"

"Ew. Don't say that," Regulus scrunches his face up in disgust.

"It is! Evan and Barty are together," he whispers, making sure no one can overhear him. "Sirius and Remus are on their way. Dorcas and Marlene are- well, I'm sure they'll sort it out soon. Mary and Toby seem pretty content with each other." He gestures over to a booth across the room, where Mary and Toby are graphically making out. "Emma and Peter are something, and now Pandora and Lily. Wow. All of our friends are getting together."

"Yeah... I did not see that coming," Regulus admits.

"Me neither. All that's left is me and you."

"Yes, but we are not in love, James." Regulus raises an eybrow.

"Nope, but we have our little deal." He wiggles his eyebrows humorously.

Inside, his head is whispering;

I do.

I do love you.

How could I not?