REVERBERATE
She landed with a loud crack that reverberated throughout the room.
The living room was full of life and Vera scanned the crowd as quickly as possible. She could account for Dumbledore, Marlene, Mary, Dorcas, the Prewetts, and many others.
Vera relaxed only slightly but her breath caught as she couldn’t find them.
She pushed through the crowd of what looked like every Order member and was yet to find them, hear their voices. She could always pick their voices out of a crowd, always finding them whether by Remus’ height, James' messy hair, or Sirius’ voice but to her it was as if the room was silent and empty.
People turned to look at her and their faces fell but no one said anything.
She pushed to the front where Dumbledore stood gravely, speaking in low tones to other senior Order members.
“Where are they?” she asked breathlessly.
Dumbledore looked very sad then, slowly turning to her, “Many of the safe houses were compromised, each turning into a full out battle. Many of ours were injured or killed-”
Vera’s breath caught in her throat and her eyes filled with tears,
He continued, resting a hand on her shoulder, “James and Sirius were injured gravely. They were transferred to Shell cottage for immediate treatment.
Vera turned around without another word and apparated away to the makeshift hospital. St. Mungo’s had been compromised and now medi witches were working around the clock to not only provide for patients there but then apparate to various safe houses to provide medical treatment to those caught in the ever increasing crossfire.
She landed on the porch of the cottage and heard the torrential waves riot as they crashed against the cliffside and reel back in to repeat the motions.
She barged in and there were much less people here but she didn’t take that as particularly a good sign.
Lily turned to her from where she was standing in the kitchen and her face crumpled.
Vera ran to her, “What happened?” she asked, trying hard to speak over the lump in her throat.
“James and Sirius they- they got out as many people as they could but they were swarmed. Sirius and James both got hurt, badly, and they managed to apparate back but then they were both splinched. Bad” Lily recounted the story in a struggling voice and Vera couldn’t bear it either.
She collapsed into a chair wordlessly. She was drinking champagne and enjoying her time while they were getting mauled by death eaters. She suddenly felt like she was being suffocated in the gown she was wearing. She wanted to tear it apart and set it aflame.
She almost kissed a death eater while they were splinched trying to escape. Vera felt disgusted with herself for even entertaining the thought, for enjoying a single second of it.
She was supposed to not allow herself to not get emotionally involved.
But this had blindsided her, the tenderness that Regulus displayed was unprecedented and welcome after days of nonstop hell.
McGonagall walked out of a room at that moment, shaking her from her melodrama and Vera was incredibly grateful for her presence. She loved spending time with McGonagall, always found a sort of nice kinship with the woman and she knew she was her favorite as well.
“Vera” the woman intoned sadly.
“Minnie,” Vera said quietly. She could tell it was serious when she didn’t chastise her for the use of a nickname.
“How are they?” she asked and Lily turned as well.
“They’re both in critical condition. They both lost a lot of blood and have been given replenishing potions but the medi witches also put them in induced comas so that their bodies may fully recover. They will assess them for the next two weeks before waking them up.”
She informed her and Vera accepted the information.
“What happened?” she asked hopelessly though she didn’t know if she wanted the detailed answer or not.
“James disobeyed direct orders from Moody. One of the safehouses they found had a bomb under it and by the time it was found, it only had a few moments until it would detonate. James was ordered not to go in but he did. He went in to defuse the bomb but only managed to pause the timer, not able to get past the wards surrounding it in time. After everyone managed to escape the house, James had seconds to get away from the bomb. He survived with all his limbs but his internal injuries were…severe.”
Vera wanted to scream. She was happy that lives were saved because of James’ bravery but his heroism was so stupid sometimes, his bleeding heart causing him to make decisions like that that put himself at risk.
He was like this at Hogwarts as well, always putting others in front of him. He could go a whole day without eating simply because he was so wrapped up in others’ business that he’d forget. Or he’d spend the whole day training quidditch because he had to be the best, and couldn't let his team down. He always sacrificed himself for others and today he paid the cost.
She worked to swallow past the lump in her throat and proceeded to ask about Sirius.
“Sirius was hit with a new curse while battling the remaining death eaters that lingered by the house, something that caused multisystem organ failure…the development teams Voldemort had set up dedicate themselves to creating curses like these…the medi witches are working hard for both of them but it’s hard to tell.”
She cried in earnest then, feeling horrible. She didn’t know how life could be so unfair to deal them the cards it did. She felt like the quaffle in quidditch, constantly getting beat around, getting a small reprieve when making a goal, only to get beat up again.
Mcgonagall stepped forward then and wrapped her spindly arms around Vera, a rare show of emotion on her part but it made a world of difference as she took comfort in that embrace. She didn’t ask about where she was or why she was so dressed up, just held her in a great show of support.
When her shoulders stopped shaking and her tears ceased, she leaned back, exhausted.
A few very long hours later, the head healer on their cases came out of their room.
“They’ve both been stabilized but it’ll be a long road to recovery. The coma is non-negotiable for two weeks and we can reassess them.” With a curt nod, he was off, promising to be back tomorrow and every day after that.
She stepped into the room then and had to bring a hand up to her throat as she gazed at both of them.
James had bruises littering his face, neck, and arms like a horribly created constellation. They were each at various stages of development and severity, some light purple while others looked horribly mottled and green. His hair was covered in a layer of soot but the rest of him had been scrubbed clean.
Sirius lay on the bed just next to him and outwardly he seemed okay besides looking pale and waxy, his skin taking on a horrible complexion compared to the tan he usually had. However, as McGonagall had said, his organs were failing and it was likely his insides revealed the true destruction that curse had wrought.
As she stood between them, a thought occurred to her and she popped her head out of the door, “Where’s Remus?”
Her former headmistress turned around then looking tense as she dropped her next bomb, “The majority of the strikers were magical creatures, namely werewolves. Remus is currently meeting with Dumbledore and other Order leaders.”
She realized then that Greyback wasn’t at the event earlier. He must’ve been out there, cutting down her friends and family with the same ferocity as he attacked all his victims.
She made a vow that at the end of all this, she would kill Greyback herself. She would play with him just as he did to his victims and kill him painfully. She knew that she wouldn’t hesitate if given the chance, her spells wouldn’t fail her and she wouldn’t freeze.
Lily stepped over then and joined her in the room and they both just took seats in stools in between the beds as they looked between the two boys.
“Lily, I don’t know if I ever said this but…I’m really grateful for you” Vera spoke out into the silence, trying and failing to steady her voice. All of her emotions were heightened and Lily was a steadying presence next to her. “Back at school you were such a good friend to me and I couldn’t be happier to have you as a sister.”Lily reached over to hold hands with Vera, her engagement and wedding rings resting in tandem on her finger, shining in the dim light, “You know I love you V.”
“Love you too Lils.”
They sat there then, Lily holding James and her hands, hers holding Lily’s and Sirius’. Individual links forming a connected chain, never to break or be separated. She thought of Remus and imagined him on Sirius’ other side, only then were they full. Bound through love or blood, forever.
__________
She spent the next week oscillating between home and the cottage.
Later that night she went home and changed out of the gown immediately, not wanting to ever see it again. She stuck it in the back of the closet, along with all of her memories from that night.
She dutifully followed a schedule of waking up at home only to go straight to the cottage and back home when the sun set and everyone had left as well.
She didn’t see Remus for four days until he showed up at the manor again.
She stood in the garden, eyeing the mandrakes that were still buried deep under the soil she had laid atop them moments before. They should’ve sprouted days ago yet they remained painfully hidden and silent.
The door to the greenhouse slid open and she was met with the sight of Remus.
“Remus” she smiled, wiping her hands on her apron. She used to wear gloves but they felt too bulky and hindering and she enjoyed the feel of the soil in her hands.
“I’m sorry” he blurted out and she just tilted her head in confusion as she took the sight of him in. He looked like he hadn’t slept since that night, his hair mussed and skin pale.
“For what?”
“The attack,” he began to pace, gesticulating wildly, “The werewolves. On the first night of the last moon I spent with them, they were trying to haze me which most packs do with new members so I expected it. They usually roughhouse and most of them can turn on will. This particular pack has old roots and hadn’t completely forsaken magic like some, rather channeling it with their wolf abilities. Their mental magic was strong and one night while we were having a sort of brawl, I felt a prickling in my head and I didn’t know what it was but I think…I think they somehow read my mind. Werewolves are supposed to have some natural defenses but they were different and I don’t know the details but I think they saw information that I previously knew and-” Remus babbled, wringing his hands nervously and pacing amidst the plants. The heat in the room only added to his stress causing his skin to flush and sweat to bead on his forehead.
Vera slowly approached and shushed him, holding her hands out. She reached up to rest them on his shoulders, “Remus, I believe you”
He shook her hands off then, “Don’t you get it! It’s my fault they’re hurt, it’s always my fault. I’m just the monster they all think I am-”
She pointed at him directly then, her finger centimeters from his face, “Don’t you dare say that. You are not a monster and I’ll say it as many times as I need to for you to understand. This is not your fault.”
“I hurt Sirius, James, your brother! How do you not hate me” he panicked.
“I hate them Remus. I hate whoever read your mind, I hate the death eaters, I hate Voldemort. I hate them because they are the cause of all of this. You didn’t do anything and I know you’ve been hiding at the apartment trying to avoid them or me or both but I’m not having it. You’re staying here for the time being. Understood?”
Remus deflated then, all the adrenaline slowly filtering through his bloodstream and dissipating as if he had been waiting to hear those words. She knew Remus always harbored extra guilt just for existing. At school, his first question was always if he had hurt anyone. He could’ve been bruised and bleeding himself but he’d always shoot up, gasping, searching them for any signs of injury.
He had the kindest heart out of any of them.
He embraced her tightly and she accepted and reciprocated before sending him upstairs.
When she turned back to the bed of unsprouted mandrakes, she thought about Occlumency again, Remus serving as a reminder from the universe that she needed to get back to work. She sat on the ground, closed her eyes, forgot about the stupid mandrakes, and delved deep as she usually did.
She worked through the memory of the man she saw murdered in front of her. She never worked through that and she knew it was an experience she was bound to see again, repeatedly. She locked that away and planned to do that with any future ones and found it was like last time, she was simply a bystander.
Now she needed to ensure she could do this while in the moment, detach herself so that her arm wasn’t her own, whatever spells she cast wasn’t her, her body would do the work while she just looked on unaffected.
She did the same with the memories of when she found out about the attacks, skipping past the events of the party, not wanting to deal with that.Then she dealt with the rant she spilled to Remus about the death eaters, sure that Voldemort wouldn’t love to see that the next time he rooted around her mind so she solidified it all into a brick and shoved it at the base of the tower, along with all the other untouchables.
_________
The manor was empty when she arrived in the receiving room as promised the weekend following the party.
She stood in the room in silence for a few minutes and had an internal battle with herself on whether she should wait there or go further into the house, wondering if Bellatrix would take offense even though technically, she was the one who was late.
She decided on the latter and slowly stepped out.
Right as her foot stepped past the door, a stinging sensation hit her foot and reached up to her knee and she pulled back.
Confused, she went to take a step again and was again zapped.
This time she, very tentatively, peered around the corner to find Bellatrix hiding behind a pillar cackling wildly.
Vera cast a hesitant Protego and very slowly walked out and Bellatrix whipped her arm around again, the hex hitting the shield, not penetrating it but it singed the shield she had erupted and it left a hole that Bellatriz aimed for and she was shot in the stomach.
“You are absolutely dreadful” Bellatrix mused as she came from around the pillar.
“I wasn’t ready” Vera grumbled, casting a much stronger shielding charm.
“I don’t care” Bella shrieked and cast again.
Vera took a step back into the room from which she emerged, keeping the shield up while Bellatrix remained firing wildly at her.
She was horribly confused, not understanding what she was trying to accomplish here.
“Let’s play a game shall we” she said with a wild glint in her eye, “I give you 10 seconds to hide and if I find you, we duel.”
It was a shite game to be honest, she would much prefer a riveting game of chess or exploding snap if she was feeling crazy, not hide-and-seek from hell.
“1…2…” Bellatrix began, cupping her hands over her eyes and spinning while counting very loudly.
Vera had no choice but to hide and she ran through the house on silenced feet. She saw the doors that led out to the back garden and burst through them, the cold air hitting her but she didn’t feel it as she ran, blood pumping in earnest.
She saw a mazed garden and darted to it. She went in, making turns left and right, until she found a water fountain, a stone mermaid statue spouting crystal clear water erected atop it. She looked around the small clearing in the maze and found a table covered in cloth and Vera saw the opportunity there and hid crouching under the table, setting the cloth atop it to rights and remaining completely silent.
She willed herself to calm her breathing as she waited and waited.
She stayed there for a very long time as the cold dirt soaked into her trousers, again bewildered though she didn’t dare leave because as she clearly learned from her earlier lesson, Bellatrix likes to play the long game- playing with her food before she eats it.
She wasn’t sure Bellatrix was even looking for her anyways but there she remained.
Twenty minutes passed until she heard crunching on the brittle grass and Vera froze, coming to attention again. Bellatrix circled the clearing and Vera watched her slowly circle the fountain.
Her feet came closer to the table and Vera stopped breathing entirely as her boots came into view.
Then as quickly as she appeared, Bellatrix pulled the cover off and crouched, face to face with Vera.
She scrambled up under the table to the other side and held her wand up, circling the table. Where Bella darted right, Vera went left and vice versa. Bellatrix spun her wand around her in a wide arc then and Vera realized she closed off entry and exit points in the maze, the ferns on either side reaching towards each other in a sweet embrace and consequently, locking them in place.
Vera shot out a hex feeling cornered but Bellatrix just rebounded it back at her. She felt immensely grateful it wasn’t an Avada.
Bellatrix began compounding spell upon spell wordlessly and Vera reeled at the sheer speed with which she cast, her body and hand acting as one as she spun around the garden, circling her. She was a bit sloppy, missing sometimes when she got overly excited, but the aggression overpowered it, putting Vera off her game nonetheless.
Bellatrix climbed atop the table then and Vera pushed away from the table entirely doing exactly what Bellatrix wanted apparently because she lunged on her then, tackling her to the ground with such feral energy it shocked Vera.
Her wand slipped out of her hand at the sudden attack, falling a few feet from her outstretched hand and Bellatrix grabbed her by the hair, pulling her head off the ground as she heaved.
Suddenly, she stood up, bringing Vera up with her and she did the unimaginable.
She dunked her head into the fountain and held her there. Vera thrashed aggressively, reaching up behind her to claw at anything but was only met with air. She could hear Bellatrix’s voice distort through the water as she cheered with glee and it infuriated her.
Vera threw her head back then and it connected with her nose with a satisfying crunch.
Bellatrix jumped back and Vera took great gulps of air, her teeth chattering. She enjoyed seeing the blood flow down her nose and into her mouth, knowing that she overpowered her for a brief moment.
Bellatrix leaped out of the way of another attack and Vera was unprepared for the next onslaught of spells and was rendered helpless when Bellatrix sent a slice across her right thigh and a blast of pure dark energy threw her off her feet.
Rendered helpless, Bellatrix stood over her and sent a final Crucio right at her chest.
Again, that horrible burning feeling. It was just as worse as the first time, her tendons stretching, joints dislocating, acid burning through her veins- setting her body on fire. She shrieked at the sheer pain of it until her voice grew hoarse and no noise came out.
“I do hope today was informative, see you tomorrow,” Bellatrix cooed, tapping her on the cheek before opening the hedges again and skipping through them, humming a twiny tune.
Vera had no dignity left so she just gathered herself up and walked out and away from the house, hoping to just find the other side of the wards and leave from there. She couldn’t imagine facing Bellatrix for a round 2.
She limped seething. That was so stupid. Bellatrix had nothing to teach her, she’d just be her play thing while she masked it as teaching her. Gods she hated all this, she hated Bellatrix, Voldemort, the death eaters, and…
She felt a pang of hatred for Dumbledore. He’d pumped her ego full of strong words saying she was the most capable for the job and that he’d chosen her specifically but now those words mean nothing. They meant nothing when she was writhing on that forest floor in tears or when she was being drowned in a game of hide-and-seek.
None of this meant anything and she wondered if it ever would.
___________
When she arrived home, sopping wet, she was greeted with the lovely sight of Peter and Sybill kissing on the couch just a couple meters in front of her.
They were so occupied that they didn’t notice her so she didn’t deign to bother them and was happy to silently cheer them on from her bedroom.
Day two began much the same. Just her alone in the receiving room.
She thought through her options now that she knew she had some.
She could either stay in here and wait until Bellatrix came for her in which case, she would learn a lesson about patience and following orders. Or she could leave the room, but be prepared for the attack, ready to strike back so she’d learn the lesson about always staying on her guard.
This sucks, she thought sourly as she eyed the doorway.
Considering Bellatrix doesn’t seem to have a knack for patience either, Vera walked out with an intact protection charm, and ensured it would hold strong.
But nothing came.
Until she felt a sting radiate across her back and Vera had to hold back a string of curses as Bellatrix rounded the corner, twirling her wand.
“And just like that, you’d be dead” she tutted, walking out from behind the open door apparently.
Vera spun on her heel and conceded that she would have been.
“What you should have done was look around, use some of your brain, but you stood there stiff as a board until after you got hit” Bellatrix said in that sickly sweet voice as if trying to mask the monster within. It grated on her nerves and she wanted nothing more than to conjure some ear plugs.
“I was prepared this time, I had the protection charm” she said with more defiance than she actually had.
“And why were you on the defensive in the first place?”
“Because you were going to attack me” she intoned flatly.
“I only did that because you clearly weren’t doing anything. Had you seen me, you would have had the advantage and we wouldn’t be here.”
Vera just accepted all those points but still didn’t see the problem of going on the defensive. It was the safest option really.
With a swish of her robes and a whisk of her wand, Bellatrix was walking towards an empty room just off the main area and something was levitating in behind them.
It was a gramophone.
Then another swish and creaky music came rolling out in stutters before slowly evening out into a smooth melody.
Vera looked about in confusion but Bellatrix just smiled and held her arms aloft. When she didn’t move, Bellatrix walked slowly over to her, heels clicking across the floor.
She then grabbed Vera by the waist and pulled her in. Tight. Her other hand went towards her hand to lift it up to the side.
Vera felt the urge to push back but didn’t as Bellatrix tightened her iron grip on her. Vera was taller than her so she had to look down slightly at Bellatrix who showed off her rows of sharp teeth in a big smile that did nothing to soothe Vera.
Then she slowly began to sway with her to the music.
It was uncomfortable and awkward and she could feel Bellatrix’s hot breath hit her throat with every breath and it felt like an assault, like she was being struck repeatedly .
“You need to loosen up,” Bellatrix said in a serious tone.
Vera tried but she felt like she was petrified as she just followed wherever Bellatrix’s feet led them. They started to slowly move in a loose circle around the room and Vera just followed dumbly along
This is certainly not how she thought today would go. Bellatrix hummed along to the music, cheerfully speeding up the tempo to the dance and she didn’t know whether she could keep up.
Yesterday, Vera only felt anger but today, the confusion allowed her to think about the reasoning behind this and she was understanding yesterday's lesson as somewhat useful despite the horrible way to go about it.
Firstly, she was slow to leave the room which wasn’t necessarily smart since she was not in her own territory and Bellatrix already had the upper hand, she was just a rabbit stuck helpless in a trap rather than trying to fight her way out. Then, she held up a sorry attempt for a shield and Bellatrix proved that her magic was not only faster but more potent. Then, Vera allowed herself to get pushed back into the room with no escapes because she couldn’t fight back. The hide-and-seek incident just taught her the same things and to also realize that maybe brute strength is a good way to go about things, despite it being very Muggle-like.
She remembered how Bellatrix moved yesterday, with fluid grace despite the mania that was plastered all over her face. She moved quickly and deftly and Vera couldn’t keep up with her.
Bellatrix then gave her a big shove and pushed her out before spinning her back in and they ended up just closer than they were before.
She looked at her face for a quick moment and could only slightly see pieces of Regulus and Sirius there. It’s as if they all had the same base features but were slightly altered for their personalities: Bellatrix’s eyes were the color of coal, Sirius’ was the color of a grey dove, and Regulus’ looked like mercury. It was the same for the rest of their features and she thought Bellatrix may have been a cruel beauty once until she yielded the latter part for the first.
“If you do not loosen up by the end of this song, I will hex you until you are a pile on the floor and I have to charm you up myself” Bellatrix ground out and Vera instantly stood at attention again. Straightening her body that had been sort of dragged across the floor.
Bellatrix spun much quicker then and they were dancing across the room, the music seemed to raise in volume and tempo and she felt it infuse into her bones- prepare her for the finale that it was building up to.
Much quicker until Bellatrix’s hair was just a mass of black whipping around then, they danced throughout the room and her smile grew, seemingly pleased with Vera’s sudden effort.
Vera had never learned the proper pureblood way to dance when she was younger. She learned some dances, utilizing them once at a Christmas ball at Hogwarts but she could tell from the way Bellatrix moved, that she had been learning for quite a long time and took her efforts quite seriously.
Then as quick as the song picked up, the music stopped and the gramophone was silent again, save for some light static as it wound down.
Bellatrix brought up one clawed hand to rest lightly on Vera's cheek, “good girl.”