WEIGHTLESS
The dancing lessons continued for the next few days thereafter.
Vera got hexed multiple times each lesson for being too stiff, off tempo, or just because Bellatrix felt like it to make her ‘stronger.’
After every lesson Vera had to drag herself home, exhausted and in pain.
She didn’t know what was harder: dealing with the lessons with Bellatrix or having to plaster a smile on her face when she came home and others happened to be there, rattling off tales about kids at Hogwarts and their various injuries and what she learned with Madam Pomfrey.
Vera collapsed on a chair in the library after another full day spent with Bellatrix. This time they worked on endurance. Vera was getting better at casting and was becoming more deft in a duel but she couldn’t last long. If there was ever a skirmish, Vera wouldn’t last five minutes before needing to take a breather and that just couldn’t do.
Bellatrix had her run laps around her garden and if she ever faltered, it was a lash at her foot. As in she conjured a literal whip to hit her with and the lashes burned . She only let up after Vera emptied her stomach contents on the sidelines and passed out at the end. It was gross but at least she was freed.
Her eyes were drifting closed as she sat by the fire, the crackling wood a soothing noise lulling her to sleep when a large owl eagle tapped incessantly on her window.
She just picked up her wand and let the owl in. It perched on the armrest of the chair right next to her shoulder and she jolted at the sheer size of the owl slash beast. She very slowly reached for its leg to pull off the letter and it didn’t peck at her like she expected.
She reached up with a curled finger and brought it up to the animal's head and stroked once, twice. The owl passively allowed her to do it and she was pleased at its’ cooperativity. She opened the letter and read,
Vera,
It’s Barty using Regulus’ owl because it's big and scary so I think you’ll listen to it. My owl is the size of a pygmy puff and it’d probably get lost on its way to you. Anyways, we’re hanging out at Regulus’ tonight, you’re invited of course. We’d love to see you.
Best regards,
Yours truly,
Sincerely,
Barty.
She sat up quickly, almost toppling over and the owl flapped its great wings. The fact that it was still here probably meant it was expecting an immediate reply.
She could go and see where the night takes her, or she could stay in the safety and comfort of her home. She doubted they would have anything malicious planned but their sudden openness to her friendship was unsettling as if they didn’t care about anything that happened in the past. She also felt a niggling sense of guilt that she would be out with friends while her brothers were currently lying broken in hospital beds.
The offer seemed too easy and it made her feel odd but she decided to go if only to figure out more information before being occupied for the foreseeable future as James and Sirius would be woken up tomorrow and they’d be able to work on their recovery.
She would go for the mission of course; it was now a topic that very easily floated to the back of her mind that she’d forget about until idle moments like these when she was doing nothing.
Dumbledore’s letter asking for updates sat on her desk like a physical weight and so she sent a message affirming she’d be there and prepared in the meantime.
Sybill and Peter were probably still downstairs and she wasn’t particularly inclined to see what they were doing so she took a very convoluted way outside.
She went to the guest room that was on the other side of the manor and went to the terrace and used the stairs there to get downstairs and then just snuck around the side of the house to walk up the path out of the wards to apparate out. It was clear why she didn’t use this way often.
_______
She landed back on Regulus’ porch and knocked tentatively on the door. There was music and chatter flittering through the open windows on either side of the door and when no one came soon enough, she tested the handle and found it was open.
Regulus, Barty, Evan, Dorcas, and Pandora were all sitting around a table playing a ferocious game of exploding Snaps while music played on a wireless in the background.
When she stepped into the room, they all looked up and the card snapped in Barty’s face, sending ash exploding into his face.
“You made it!” he smiled, his white teeth shining in stark contrast to his face. As he looked at her, she eyed him for a moment and saw the faint trail of black ink following down the side of his neck and disappearing beneath his collar. A quick glance at his hands showed more abstract lines of ink and she realized he must've glamored them all in public and she studied them in awe. As she continued scanning, she noted with interest that Evan had a nose piercing, a small silver hoop on the right side and was sure it hadn't been there previously either.
Stepped forward, claiming a spot on the floor between Regulus and Pandora who shuffled apart for her. She could feel her cheeks heating on their own accord at the thought and forced herself to shove it all away, the blush slowly dissipating.
She automatically sent a smile at Dorcas who just eyed her from across the room and she realized with a start that Dorcas was here. Marlene’s girlfriend. Marlene in the Order. Marlene who was fighting against Voldemort.
The Marlene who could expose her for everything.
Her smile slowly faded but Dorcas just neutrally went back to the game and she didn’t know whether the sweat on her back was from the roaring hearth or her stress.
“Drinks are over on the cart if you’d like anything” Regulus leaned over slightly and his words ghosted along her ear as she just nodded slightly and got up.
“Anyone else want anything?”
“Another firewhiskey please” Evan called, raising his glass that Vera plucked up.
She readied two fire whiskeys and sat back down and just cradled the glass, taking idle sips once in a while to busy herself as she watched.
Soon enough the cards were all ash and the table was cleared.
“I’m surprised you came,” Barty spoke up, raising an eyebrow, “You were in a hurry to leave last time.”
She scrambled for something to say, “Oh yeah it was getting late but thank you for the invite this time around, do you do this often?”
He snorted, “Have to, else we’d go crazy” and his tone made her feel like there was more to his answer. “I’m sure you remember Dorcas though?”
“I do,” she nodded.
“They told me how you all met, I’m sorry for what happened” she commented sympathetically and Vera realized they must not have mentioned the entire death eater situation to her and rather just the greyback situation which she was oddly grateful for.
Technically, Pandora wasn’t involved in any of the war stuff either and she supposed that that entire subject was avoided when they were together and she found solace in that, a weight eased off of her.
“Thank you.”
She absently raised a hand to the scars lining her neck and looked away as the others chatted about getting more drinks.
“Are you okay?” Regulus asked again.
“I am” she nodded, thinning her lips though neither of them looked at eachother.
“Is everyone else okay?”
She hadn’t expected the question and she wondered about his motives for asking. Was he inquiring because he cared or did Voldemort want some report? She considered lying before saying,
“No.”
He turned to look at her then with a crease between his brows.
“James and Sirius were hurt. Badly,” she took a big sip then and willed herself to remain painfully neutral.
“Will they be-”
“We don’t know.”
“I say we go out to muggle London, thoughts?” Barty called out and the others began nodding while Vera just felt a bit lost, weren’t they supposed to hate muggles?
She was quite comfortable in the muggle world, having gone there numerous times with James and the others and the prospect was actually a bit exciting considering no one would know them there and she’d be able to be a bit more free than she had been in a long time.
They all looked down at their own clothes then, the robes not doing any of them any favors.
“Be back in a sec” Dorcas called out standing up and grabbing Pandora and Vera by the wrists and stepping into the floo, throwing the powder and calling out an unknown address.
They stumbled out into the main area of a flat and a quick look out the window told her they were probably in London based on the maelstrom of flashing lights, car horns, and narrow streets and alleyways breaking the city into an indecipherable grid.
Dorcas went straight into a room off the main with Pandora and Vera assumed she was meant to follow. Once inside, Dorcas went into the closet while Pandora went to the bathroom and Vera just stood in the middle of the room. She didn’t expect to be so easily invited into Dorcas’ apartment and she wasn’t necessarily sure what they were doing until Dorcas stepped back out in an outfit bold enough to make an elderly wizard collapse.
She stepped out in a pair of black wide leg trousers and a sleek black blazer with no top on under it, a pair of heels hung on her fingers.
“Feel free to have a look, I don’t think robes would be that good of an idea” she smiled, heading to the bathroom that Pandora just exited out of.
“What are you thinking of wearing?” Pandora asked, beckoning her into the closet with her.
“I don’t know,” she said, lightly going through Dorcas’ wide selection of muggle clothing.
Pandora pulled out a dress with a frown, “This is mine.”
Vera smiled and Pandora just shucked off her robes right there, pulling the dress up over her head. It was a lovely sage green color made of a silky material that hung off her stylishly though she was sure if she wore that she’d look like a bag.
After a few more moments of searching, Pandora pulled a dress out, “Thoughts?”
“No way.”
“Absolutely yes,” Dorcas said from the doorway at the same time.
It was a black dress with a high neck and a short hem and Vera gaped at just how revealing it’d be.
“You’d look hot in that, it’s decided, that’s what you're going with” Dorcas said with a tone of finality while Pandora thrusted it towards her with a genuine smile.
Vera didn’t want to be rude or disagreeable so she begrudgingly went along with it, quite liking the dress anyways. She however changed in the bathroom away from the others.
When she slowly opened the door seeking approval, Pandora and Dorcas gave her encouraging looks with words of praise and she felt her insecurities melt away just slightly.
She turned back towards the mirror and toyed with her hair, trying to straighten it out before Pandora stepped up beside her, “Want some help?”
“Yes please.”
“My hair tends to have a mind of its own as well” she smiled, getting to work.
Pandora’s golden hair was currently in a mass of twists and braids that may have seemed messy but it looked as if it was deliberate and it suited her well whereas Vera’s just looked like a bird has just made a nest out of her hair.
She settled on a high updo but Vera pulled out some pieces in the front and sides so it wouldn’t pull on her head so much and with a slight touch up to her makeup with her wand, she stepped back out.
She transfigured her shoes into a pair of platform heels and suddenly the floo roared to life and out popped the three boys.
They must’ve had the same ideas because they had all changed as well. Regulus was standing in a pair of black trousers with a slate grey sweater atop it while Barty wore a similar outfit in blue and Evan was wearing grey trousers and a black sweater with a white collar peeking out of the top.
She was brought back to a time that she did this with James, Sirius, Remus, and the girls. The scene was almost identical but she was alone and they didn’t know any of her companions. She had a feeling that in a different world, they might have all been friends.
They all looked quite dashing if she had to say so herself and they quickly stepped into the hall and into the elevator all shuffling in while they discussed where to go now though Vera wasn’t listening, instead focusing on Regulus’ imposing figure behind her, his soft sweater rubbing on her bare arm.
They pushed out of her building and began walking down the busy city streets towards some bar they must’ve already known of. The streets were full of life- businessmen seriously speaking on their mobiles while hauling briefcases, teenagers hanging out in large groups, or young adults looking for some fun. They were certainly part of the latter group.
They quickly crossed the street and walked towards a busy club that was thumping music and had people pouring in and out. They bypassed the line as Barty whispered something to the man guarding the entry and they all shuffled in.
All of Vera’s senses were assaulted as she took it all in. Different colored lights were flashing throughout the otherwise dim club with smoke winding through the air like dementors enjoying a night out, the music thrummed so loud she felt her bones vibrating with the force, and all she could smell was sweat and alcohol- both in copious amounts.
She felt a hand rest upon her arm and dragged her deeper into the belly of the club and she saw it was Dorcas with a quick look up and she allowed herself to follow as they went around the dance floor they were sure to visit at some point.
They slipped into a small table while Barty and Evan went off to secure their drinks.
“Do you do this often?” she called out into Regulus’ ear.
“Quite” was all he replied and she had the strange urge for more. He was so curt with his responses, not leaving space for more and she didn’t know whether it was because of what had almost happened between them or what had happened to both of her brothers but she wanted a night of freedom in a crowd that didn’t know her.
She eagerly drank whatever it was that the boys had brought them and once they were all properly buzzed, she easily followed Pandora and Dorcas to the dance floor.
She first felt a bit awkward but when Pandora lightly grabbed her hands and began pulling them in time with her own movements, Vera felt herself loosen up lightly and dance with the two girls she had rapidly become close with.
She closed her eyes and raised her arms, feeling her skin heat up rapidly amidst the bodies but she savored the feeling nonetheless and when she felt a body step up behind her in time with her movements, she allowed herself to lean back slightly.
The sturdy body behind her was clearly male and she felt his hands go to her hips, pulling her closer and she let him, putting her hands over his and continuing her movements as bodies put space between her and her friends and then it was just her and him.
After a few more moments, the male bent his head down and pressed his lips to her neck and Vera let him, catching sight of his bright blond hair as he leaned down to her.
She peeled open her eyes again and caught sight of the table. Regulus was the only one still there and she saw his eyes boring into hers. It was difficult to see him in the darkness but every so often a stream of red or blue would arc across his face and light him for a brief second before disappearing and returning.
His expression was indecipherable but it seemed to be disapproving so she just turned away knowing that’s how she looked at herself almost everyday.
She just turned around so her front was to the males and she reached her arms to wind across his neck as he continued to dance with her. They kept dancing when she felt something press into her leg and she realized it was coming from him.
She looked up into a pair of dark blue eyes and he looked down at her with a smirk that made her very uncomfortable so she stepped away from him with a shake of her head, it was impossible to talk in a place like this so she hoped he’d get the message.
He must’ve received it but completely disregarded it as he reached out, wrapping a large hand around her wrist, pulling her back to him.
She pushed at his chest but he just held her tighter and spun her so her back was to him.
When she turned her head to look back at the table, Regulus was gone and she began to panic.
She couldn’t see any of the others so she stepped down on the man's foot harshly who let go in his surprise.
He was about to say something when he was roughly shoved to the side and a familiar face stood before her.
Regulus had a habit of appearing whenever she was in danger which was too often at this point.
The man whirled around to him and Regulus didn’t seem fazed when he put his arm around Vera’s waist and walked away with her and he shot a look over his shoulder to ensure the man didn’t follow and he must not have since Regulus continued his slow pace.
He silently walked them to a staircase that he ascended and he reached out a hand for her that she gratefully accepted, her heels digging into the back of her already sensitive foot, she would be sure to send Bellatrix a thank you card for the lovely gift.
They reached a seating area full of large plush booths and scatterings of chairs and sofas in groups giving a more comfortable lounge feel compared to the raging party that was downstairs.
They took a seat at a booth and Vera instantly kicked her shoes off and brought them up to rest by Regulus on the bench.
“Thank you” she said, slightly embarrassed.
“You seem to have a habit of getting in danger.”
“Well it’s not my fault is it” she said, probably a bit harsher than necessary but she wanted to make it clear who the blame was on, tired of feeling like it was her own fault.
“I didn’t mean it like that, I apologize.”
He glanced down at her feet and must’ve noticed her irritated ankles,
“Those shoes must be some sort of punishment if they’re leaving those marks” he commented.
“Those are actually courtesy of your aunt Bellatrix.”
He looked up sharply then, “They’re what?”
She shrugged, “I kind of choked at the quiz, so he ordered Bellatrix to train me. I’m a bit too slow for her liking so she took to lashing me. You were right- I didn’t get a moment before he expected me to act.”
“I wouldn’t wish that on anyone” he said with a strain.
“Did she train you?”
He had a distant look in his eye that unnerved her and the attention in his eyes slowly dissipated as if he was caught up in a memory, “Yes.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was necessary.”
She took a moment to stare at the boy across from her. When she first met him in her second year, he was quite small compared to Sirius. He was very reserved, only speaking up when Sirius called him ‘Reggie,’ and spending the rest of the ride staring out of the window. Delicate was the best way to describe him with his high cheekbones and pointed nose, cherry shaped lips and light grey eyes. His hair was cropped close to his head just as their mother liked but it curled just around his ears.
But now she saw a man in front of her- still delicate but more mature. He had grown much taller and taken on a lithe figure- likely toned rather than skinny but he usually wore such thick robes that she was only just now able to see some semblance of a figure. His hair was slightly longer, beginning to form curls. His nose had a slight bump in the middle and she wondered whether it was natural or if his nose had broken at some point and never healed quite right. His eyes were ever the same, perhaps deeper as if time had opened them and memories took root in his iris.
He was reserved but in a different way. Before, he was shy and in Sirius’ shadow, whether cowering behind him to protect him from his mother or being forced away by the crowd Sirius seemed to naturally garner. Now he was quiet but powerful, his presence never being forgotten. She was always keenly aware of his presence and she wasn’t sure whether she was comforted or unnerved by it quite yet. Perhaps a bit of both.
She played with the rings on her fingers as she did this and it seemed he was doing the same when he asked, “How’d you get that scar on your arm?”
She looked down and saw it in all its glory. It was still as red as it was the day she had gotten it, snaking around from wrist to forearm with jagged strips along the edges. It rested flat against her skin now when it was previously puckered and gruesome. She hadn't even thought about it as she got ready, already used to the sight.
“Snape.”
Regulus’ nostrils flared then and his eyes hardened to steel, “When?”
“I had to duel him…for the dark Lord. He got in one good hit but I won” she said with a dry smile, attempting to lighten the situation. She didn’t blame Snape for it or hold any hard feelings towards him.
Regulus seemed annoyed but didn’t press forward.
“Why are you all being so nice to me?” she asked suddenly, the question burning in her mind for quite some time.
He paused before answering, “There’s no point holding grudges from when we were eleven.”
“I know but still…even with you and Sirius, I figured you’d hate me.”
“I have no reason to hate you, what happened with me and Sirius happened between us only.”
“Do you hate Sirius?”
“I don’t.”
She was almost surprised by it but she suspected it deep down. Sirius hated Regulus, would voice it anytime and picked fights with him whenever he saw him at Hogwarts but she knew he only cared so much because he cared about Regulus. No one could spend that much energy on someone they did not care about.
The rare moment of vulnerability moved her and she knew if it was her in this situation, she would have wanted to know how James was despite any problems they may have had.
“I’m not sure if you know already but…Sirius was cursed with some new curse the dark lord developed. It turned his organs inside out.”
They both grimaced but from the way his eyes slightly widened and his breathing hitched, she figured he must not have known the specifics of what had happened.
“He was put in a medically induced coma for two weeks. We’ll know more when he wakes up.”
He absorbed the information for a moment before proceeding, “And Potter?”
She hadn’t expected he would care and the notion lifted her heart ever so slightly.
“He’s not doing well either…One of the safe houses had a bomb planted under it and he held it off long enough for people to get out. He basically broke everything when the bomb detonated so he was put in a coma as well.”
Regulus reached across the table then, slowly bringing his hand into hers. His hand was cold despite the hot air surrounding him and the touch brought her back into this moment from where she was getting lost in her emotions again.
She was simultaneously getting better and worse at the occluding situation. She was getting better at boxing them away but if she started to dig deep, it was like falling into a well where she would keep going and the emotions would hurtle towards her and hit her like a tidal wave.
But Regulus threw her a rope that she caught onto before free falling, hitting that well of emotion and she held on tight.
Pandora appeared at the top of the stairs then, her cheeks pink and her teeth shining. She had a stripe of neon green paint across her cheek to match her bright eyes that scanned the area until she found them a moment after they scrambled apart.
“What are you two doing up here!”
“Resting my feet” Vera said exasperated, wiggling her toes.
“Wanna head out?”
She nodded, and reached down to grab her shoes to slide them back on and Regulus held out a hand that she accepted though she found he didn’t pull away when she stood and she wasn’t particularly inclined to pull away either.
They managed to find the others, Dorcas was hysterically laughing at everything, Evan was on the verge of tears talking about Barty’s hair and Barty was half carrying, half dragging him out of there.
The pair walked behind the rest of the group back up to Dorcas’ apartment.
“Thank you for letting me come with you all tonight, I had fun.”
“What’ll be your excuse?”
She looked up questioningly at him and he continued,
“I mean, won’t they notice you’ve left?”
She considered for a moment, “No one checks in on me really so I’m okay” she said, trying but failing to sound happy about it but she rushed to defend them nonetheless. “Ever since the war started, I just stay at home, or so they think- so they just kind of forgot about me but I understand, it’s a war anyways.”
“How anyone could forget about you is beyond me.”
They came to the curb, ready to cross but the light flickered red so the others managed to run across the rest of the way and that left them on the other side, cars dashing between them, obscuring them from view. She saw the group scramble into Dorcas’ building and she was left with Regulus.
As he looked down at her and her up at him, she felt as if time was slowing, the ground beneath her crumbling away and she felt weightless, Regulus being her only tether to the material world. She was drawn back to that moment in the quiet corridor, the moonlight basking them in the silent hallway, the only sound their breaths mingling with each other.
The bustling street corner they were on was in such stark contrast to that moment, neon shop lights and light posts lighting their profiles and the chattering of people all around them but she felt the same.
No matter where she was, Regulus captured the entirety of her attention and she was immediately drawn to him.
He brought a hand up to the crux of her neck and shoulder pushing aside a loose strand of her hair, cupping her side lightly with the other and she welcomed the touch.
Then his lips ghosted hers with the faintest of touches, a tentative brush, testing and teasing her in the motion. She brought her hand up to the nape of his neck, threading her fingers into his hair as she met him, deepening the kiss.
In this moment, there were only the two of them as she gave herself over to him, savoring the way he tasted, the burn of alcohol still lingering on his lips. His hold on her tightened every so slightly as he met her for every beat.
It wasn’t her first kiss by any means but it felt like it. The way his lips matched hers made her feel complete, as if they were puzzle pieces and she wondered if this was how it was always meant to be.
A car honked by them and she froze, her fingers ceasing to card through his hair. The temperature seemed to have dropped as she felt her insides grow cold. Regulus’ dilated eyes opened and they were entirely too close. She was entirely too close.
She immediately stepped back out of his grasp while Regulus didn’t move.
She left without another word, turning away and finding an alley to apparate from, the crack disappearing in the medley of city sounds.
_________
James and Sirius both woke up at the end of the two weeks and were in much better condition, spending the week after that resting and gaining strength. It was in the second week after they woke up that James opened his eyes very slowly to Vera’s face hovering inches over his, a stark contrast to a few months prior when he scared her awake.
Once James swallowed he hoarsely whispered, “Vera…what…”
With tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat she spoke, “James you are an absolute imbecile.”
He looked as affronted as he could though it was really just a grimace, “Why?”
“You disobeyed Moody’s orders and walked towards a bomb James. I have been worried sick about you for weeks and I didn’t bring it up before because you were weak and frail and I felt bad for you but now that you have some color in your cheeks I don’t feel bad about lecturing you.”
“Vera, I had to the people inside-”
“James, I’m not mad at you for saving them, of course I’m not, but at the same time you completely disregarded your own safety and I’m scared that something else will happen and you will sacrifice yourself again. You are always so worried about others that you completely disregard your own needs.”
James’ face relaxed, his features softening and understanding flooded him and all he did was slowly raise his arms. Vera loosed a breath before wrapping herself in his arms and holding on tight.
“I’m sorry I scared you” he whispered in her ear.
“Just don’t do it again. Please. Promise me no more of this hero bullshit because if I don’t have you then…”
“I promise.”
Vera would curse his name for lying. Yell and scream at him for lying right to her face that day. But James was always a hero and it was unfair of her to ask him to change.
________
“Come along girl, we have much to do today.”
Vera followed behind Bellatrix and wondered what would happen if she just punched her right on the back of her head then disillusioned herself. How long would she have? A few minutes? Surely she could run far away enough, it was a clear day she’d definitely make it out of the boundary wards. Maybe she could cause a distraction to give her more time-
She followed her to the room they often trained in and the room was empty save for Regulus standing off by a window looking at the empty street outside.
She paused at the doorway when Regulus turned his attention to the two of them entering, hands in the pockets of his black coat and neck bent.
Bellatrix walked right up to him, “Oh how I remember the days I had to teach little Reggie everything he knows. He was just a small dove before” she said, putting her hands in his hair, just as she had, though instead of soft touches it was harsh and meant to hurt, her sharp nails digging.
Regulus just grabbed her wrist and forcibly removed her hand and the woman just mock frowned before proceeding.
“Now it is time for you to learn sweets, come on.”
She stepped further into the room, shoving her hands in her pockets and instinctively wrapping her hand around her wand, savoring the feel.
“Bimpy!” Bellatrix shrieked.
A small elf appeared. She didn’t seem particularly old or young and had no discernible features as she appeared in a small tea cloth.
“I believe we should hasten the process just a touch and now work on the so-called ‘Unforgivables’ and there is no better practice than on an actual subject. Bimpy here will serve as that subject.”
Vera looked down at the now-trembling elf and thought of the man from before. The man with the sandy brown hair who begged for freedom. Who cried at her feet and was eventually killed brutally.
She remembered wishing it was an elf and now she had the chance and she wished she never said that, her mouth growing sour at the thought.
“You will begin with the Imperius as it is technically the easiest for some like yourself. I will come periodically to check in on you. Regulus will proceed with your instruction” was all she said with a wave before stepping out of the room.
Vera crouched down to the elf so that they were eye-level.
She was met with large blue eyes, as clear and bright as the sky. In the pupil she saw herself reflected and wanted to scratch out the sight.
“I’m sorry Dimpy '' Vera whispered though her voice cracked at the end.
“Dimpy is happy to serve the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black” was all the elf said but it sounded robotic to Vera’s ears, the elf being programmed to speak this way rather than speaking of her own volition.
She remembered when they were in Hogwarts and she did her Magical Creatures project on house elves. She conducted interviews and surveys about house elves and peoples thoughts about them, did research on them, spoke to the Hogwarts elves. She advocated for the rights of house elves, promoting their welfare and was met with laughs and mockery. Her passion project lasted only a few months before she gave up.
She felt Regulus’ eyes boring into her skull so she stood up and took up his post at the window.
Lighthouse on the island. Still black waters. No thoughts, no emotions. It is all a distraction.
She repeated her ministrations to herself until she was left with an empty cavity for a heart and conscious, the two boxed up somewhere in her mind until she was done with today.
She turned back to Regulus who took one look at her eyes and began, “As I’m sure you already know, the Imperius curse gives the caster total control over the subject, their thoughts and desires become their own. It is among the most simple of spells, all that is required is that you point your wand at the elf and will it. You must mean it, force your way into the mind of the creature until you push past the wall of resistance.”
She felt like her body was not her own as she felt herself pull her wand out of the pocket. She aimed and pointed at the elf and whispered, “ Imperio! ”
She felt as if she was being drawn into the spell as well, her vision becoming blurred as she focused at the elves eyes, seeing into them. She was met with a flurry of images and it was similar to Legilimency in that she was seeing the elves' thoughts and experiences, but that wasn’t the goal.
Vera pushed deeper to the core of the elf and was met with the wall Regulus mentioned. Deeper she went, until there was a shattering effect and suddenly the images stopped, all that left was milky white space and she retraced her steps back to where she entered very slowly.
As she pulled back into herself and stood straight, the elf stood in front of her, looking much the same as before though the trembling ceased.
“Now you must command it to do something.”
“But it’s a house elf, won’t it do whatever I say anyways.”
“Command it to hit me.”
She looked at him strangely then, “What?”
“A house elf would never attack its master, unless it was imperioused.”
Turning back, “Bimpy, hit Regulus.”
The elf slowly approached Regulus and then proceeded to pull its’ hand back and slap Regulus’ calf sharply. A normal elf would have been on the floor crying and begging for mercy for even bumping into their master but Bimpy showed no reaction as she continued to hit Regulus’ leg.
“Bimpy, stop.”
She stopped.
“I don’t know whether I should be happy or not that I could do it” she whispered looking at him.
“Be happy it is the elf and not you.”
But why was she worth more than an elf?
“Next is the cruciatus. It is more of the same, intent over skill or specific wand moves. Just point and cast.”
She raised her wand once more but now her hand was not as steady, sweat coating her palm, leaving the wand slick in her grasp.
“C-crucio!”
Nothing, just the elf staring blankly at her.
“Again.”
“Crucio!”
“Again.”
Her arm was trembling with effort. She felt magic surge as far as her wrist and then just dissipated into the thin air. “Crucio!”
Nothing.
Regulus stepped forward then, “Clear your head and try again.”
She cast once more and the elf flinched.
Three more times she cast but nothing happened.
“I can’t do it.”
“You can’t give up.”
“You have no choice but to. Try again and make it count.”
She threw her hands up and grit, “I can’t do it, what don’t you understand.”
“I don’t understand how you could be so naive. You chose this life, you chose to talk to Snape, you chose to follow the dark Lord. Did you think you wouldn’t have to do this like the rest of us?” he threw his arms up as he stepped closer to her, each word being pulled out painfully.
“Maybe I’m just not as soulless as the rest of you!” she threw out, lashing out, directing her anger at him.
“Be that as it may, you will cast all three unforgivables today and I do not care if we have to stand here all day,” he said, raising his voice, stepping even closer.
“You have nothing better to do then watch me fail? You have a sad life,” she pointed at him, her finger jamming into his chest.
“I’m here because I want to make sure you live and that’s reason enough for me.”
“Why the fuck do you care!” she yelled now.
“I don’t know!” he yelled back breathless, a deep frown set on his face as he breathed heavily.
“I’m not going to hurt the elf.” she grit out.
“That’s what I said. Then I ended up being the one crucio’d until I didn’t know my own name, if you have any sense of self preservation you will do it.”
“If I do it there won’t be any self to preserve .”
“You made your bed, now lie in it. I said, again.”
She was ready to Crucio him so she turned around and cast it at the elf, the spell now flowing seamlessly from core to wand, shooting out of her in a stream of green light.
The elf convulsed and fell to the floor, shrieking in a high twiny voice until the noise suddenly stopped and she realized Regulus silenced her. Just like they did to the man.
“Now the killing curse. You must-”
“Avada Kedavra!” she shrieked, pulling all her anger and force into the spell. Her arm shook from the impact as the spell ripped through her and into the elf and it dropped dead.
You are an extremely talented witch Vera, even when you were in school you were extraordinarily exceptional, Dumbledore said.
I believe you are powerful, Voldemort said.
It would seem that all it took to fuel her was anger. Pure undiluted anger allowed her to delve past her self-imposed barriers and with each surge of dark magic, she found it easier and easier to make that drop.
Her arm was tingling and she felt an itch to do it again, the release coursing through her veins was almost euphoric and she realized Bellatrix must have just been on a constant high.
She turned to Regulus who just stared slack jawed at her.
Bellatrix walked in then and saw the elf dead on the floor, head lolled to the side, completely expressionless.
She clapped her hands then and drew her wand up and Vera realized she must be trying to continue to Black family tradition.
“Dec -”
Vera vanished the body, refusing to allow Bellatrix to add to the gruesome collection of elf heads.
Bellatrix fluidly shot the crucio at her and she accepted her punishment. Knew as she writhed on the floor in pain, as she ripped at the floor, as she burned from the inside out, that she deserved it. She deserved this pain for all she had done and what she was sure to do in the future.