one point perspective

this is a place

where i don't feel alone

this is a place

where i feel at home

“why do we have to go to this thing?” dorcas groans as she puts a final hair tie in her hair.

“because, i need moral support if i'm going to be spending the entire night with my brother and his egotistical friends.” corvus rolls her eyes, trying hard not to think about james as she focuses on doing her eyeliner. “plus, i don't hear dora complaining.”

“i think it'll be fun.” pandora shrugs, sitting on the edge of the counter between dorcas and corvus. 

pandora always takes the least amount of time getting ready for things. corvus has never understood it. how she can be in the bathroom for ten minutes and come out looking like she spent hours on it.

“come on, cas. it's one night.” corvus pleads, fixing her hair in the mirror and looking over her outfit one last time.

she's wearing a brown turtle neck sweater tucked into blue and beige checkered dress pants with a black belt. 

they're muggle clothes. which, to be completely honest, is somewhat of a new development. 

the blacks never allowed muggle clothes. it was only ever annoyingly preppy dress robes that showed off their class. 

the potters, however, embrace muggle clothes. corvus has gotten used to wearing sweatshirts and baggy jeans over the summer at their house. but it's never been dress clothes. 

it makes her feel, nice. she likes wearing clothes like these. clothes that make her feel pretty. make her feel like she's worth more than just her surname.

pandora is wearing bright colored clothes. though, that's pretty typical of her by now. nothing she wears is ever matching, and yet, somehow, she pulls it off. makes it look effortless.

dorcas looks sophisticated. put together. like she always does. she's wearing black dress pants and a navy blue button up shirt with the top two buttons undone.

“alright, let's get this over with.” dorcas rolls her eyes, quickly making her way out of the room, to where regulus, evan, and barty are waiting for them in the common room.

evan is wearing a color block, button up shirt with a bunch of different patterns paired with khaki colored pants. he has his signature nikon camera dangling from the strap on his wrist. he bought it behind his father’s back at a muggle shop close to his house in his second year and he never goes anywhere without it now.

barty is in tattered black jeans, a pink floyd oversized t-shirt, and a leather jacket covered in random patches and pins she's sure his father hates. 

regulus is wearing baggy dark wash blue jeans and a white button up shirt under a dark green sweater that's tucked into his pants. she's almost certain he borrowed everything from evan.

“ready?” evan asks quietly, gently throwing his arm around corvus’ shoulders.

she doesn't answer, just nods in response, and the group of six make their way out of the dungeons and towards gryffindor tower.

as soon as the group of slytherins (and one ravenclaw) step inside of the gryffindor common room, it becomes a sensory overload.

most people don’t even notice the intrusion. too focused on their own doings than the six non gryffindors entering the room. 

one particular boy, however, does notice.

“cor, reg! you guys made it.” sirius exclaims, sounding mildly surprised.

“wouldn't miss it.” corvus assures lightly, though she nods her head ever so slightly towards her twin brother. a motion you wouldn't be able to notice unless you’re paying close attention.

sirius is. his shoulders seem to become ever so slightly more relaxed, and he motions them further into the common room.

“come on. we've got some introductions in order.”

the group follows close behind the boy, evan’s arm still wrapped around corvus’ shoulder, providing the support she thinks she probably desperately needs right now.

her legs feel weak and off balance. she feels out of her element. like she doesn't belong. like everyone is looking at her as if she's some anomaly. like she's not supposed to be here.

they make their way to a larger group of people, standing sort of off to the side, as if sirius has them all placed there on purpose, which wouldn't surprise corvus if he had.

she recognizes all of them almost instantly. some more closely than others. of course, there's lupin and pettigrew, them, corvus knows better than anywhere there. 

she recognizes the three girls there as marlene mckinnon, who's a beater on the quidditch team and quite good, if she's letting herself be honest. there's also mary macdonald, who is also on the quidditch team. 

and the last girl, she knows to be lily evans. she feels something in her stomach twist at the sight of her. she's gorgeous, truly. that, corvus is not blind to. she has beautiful flaming red hair and freckles littering her face. she looks a natural kind of pretty. she looks sweet. a kind of effortlessly sweet that corvus has never really been able to get just right. she understands why james likes her so much. 

and james. oh, james. 

corvus can feel his eyes on her. they're burning into her skin, almost certain to leave a mark. she doesn't turn to look at him. she's unable to. if she does, she's afraid it will reveal everything. she knows her twin brother can be oblivious to his own feelings, but she's not sure how well he would be able to read james and corvus’. she doesn't want to take the risk either way.

“cor, you alright?” she hears evan’s voice whisper close to her ear. 

his arm is still wrapped securely around her shoulder, and when she turns to look at him, she catches sight of james.

he's beautiful, as always. he's wearing beige dress pants, a black t-shirt, and a brown button up. he's painful for corvus to look at. he shines too bright. he's always shone too goddamn bright.

he's staring daggers, not at her, but at evan. and it takes her a moment to realize why. james is glaring right at the arm that's wrapped around corvus’ shoulders.

it takes all the strength in her body not to react to this. james potter is jealous. jealous for corvus black.

this should be a fun party.

sirius thinks he's starting to work out why his best friend has been acting strange. 

he's been tossing glances all night, not being subtle in the slightest. 

sirius knows how to pick up on when james is jealous. he's actually quite a jealous person, despite what a lot of people may think. 

he can be protective and possessive over the people he cares about. 

and him giving evan rosier the look of death for having his arm around corvus black is definitely not a ‘she lives with me, so i'm protective’ response from james potter.

so sirius thinks he may be working it out. working out the late night sneaking out. working out the zoning out and getting distracted. working out the sudden interest in sirius black’s twin sister.

he doesn't quite want to believe it though. wants to believe that james, or even corvus for that matter, would come to him if this was the truth. 

but maybe that's just it. maybe he hasn't done a great job the last couple years of providing that safe space for something like this.

he wonders if he could have done better. he wonders if he had been a better brother, they would have come to him straight away.

he's not even so much mad about the idea of james and corvus together. as much as it makes him want to throw up in his mouth, he thinks that's just an older brother thing.

really, it'd be great. his best mate and his sister. if they worked out, james and sirius could be brothers. like, for real.

it's the fact that if he's right about this, they didn't feel safe to tell him about it. they felt the need to sneak about and keep it a secret.

and that hurts more than sirius is expecting it to.

james likes corvus in muggle clothes. she seems lighter in them. less thought out. less meticulous. less put together. he likes that.

truly, he likes everything about corvus. he likes the indifferent glares she gives everyone who looks at her. likes the hidden smiles in the corner of her mouth when she doesn't want to admit that she's happy in something. likes that sometimes, james will say something, and she'll laugh with her whole body. like she just can’t contain it anymore.

he likes the way she talks. the way she sounds. the way she tastes. 

he wants to breathe in corvus black. wants to make her a part of his own being. maybe that's a bit possessive, maybe it's a bit overbearing, but he's not sure he cares.

but right now, evan rosier has his arm slumped around her shoulder, pressed close to her. and james can't. because there's people around. because they're not in their cabin. because people will see.

he hates it. hates that he can't touch her. can't breathe her in. can't even really talk to her. it makes a part of him want to scream. 

he wants to pull evan rosier's arm off of his body so that he can never touch her again.

except, she looks comfortable. she looks content and just, okay. which she doesn't always seem when people are touching her.

he hates evan rosier. but he can touch her and it doesn't seem to make her want to hide away. and he hates him for that even more.

there's too much noise in the gryffindor common room. too many people.

parties have never really been corvus’ thing. 

they're loud. and sweaty. and crowded. 

there's no escape route. all of them being covered by mounds of people. 

it takes a good hour before a path clears to the exit of the common room. 

corvus takes it as soon as she can. signaling to evan where she is going and shaking her head when he asks if she wants someone to go with her.

she wants to fly, but it's not late enough that all the professors would be in bed, so she can't go to the pitch.

the astronomy tower is empty when she gets there. the night air much colder than she had expected, given it's mid november and winter is rapidly approaching.

she can feel the cold air prickling her arms under her thin sweater. 

corvus black usually loves the cold. 

but ever since she's felt james potter’s warmth, everything else just seems like ice.

james potter is the sun. james potter is fire. 

she thinks he's starting to melt corvus’ ice. 

truth is, she never actually noticed now frozen she really was until james melted her ice.

she's alone for less than ten minutes before she hears the door to the astronomy tower open and close, gentle footsteps making their way to her.

she doesn't turn around, doesn't say anything, just keeps her eyes planted on the sky.

“you know, i never really used to see the appeal in looking at the stars.” james is the first to break the silence, and when corvus spares a quick glance at him, his eyes are intently on the sky.

“never really thought they were all that special. they were too small for me to care about when everything else seemed so big.” james pauses, letting out a deep breath. “i used to look at the stars and just see tiny dots in the sky. used to think they weren't worth my time. now all i see is you.” 

corvus feels her breath hitch in her chest. james is looking at her now. she still doesn't look at him. trying to to focus on his burning stare on the side of her face.

“you and rosier looked pretty cozy.” james continues nonchalantly, looking back up at the sky. there's a sharpness to his voice. something harsh. something dangerous.

“he's very comfy.” corvus singsongs, hiding a smirk when she looks at the side of james’ face and sees his jaw tense.

“he's a fucking imbecile is what he is.” james hisses, glaring at the sky like it just did wrong by him.

“he's one of my best friends, james.” corvus argues, turning back to the sky, as if that will shield it from james’ harsh gaze. 

“i don't like him.”

“i know you don't.” corvus assures matter of factly. 

“but that doesn't change that he's one of my best friends.”

there's a pause. a moment of silence before james turns back to corvus, turning his entire body this time, fighting for her attention. 

“i wanted to touch you. talk to you. hold you. kiss you.” james says, almost breathlessly. almost painfully. “and i couldn't. and he was. i hate him.”

“hey, james.” corvus says, grabbing his hands gently in hers. “im with you. not him. ev is, god, he's like my brother. i don't feel that way for him. i will never feel that way for him. only you.”

“mine.” james pouts, somehow making his voice sound stern at the same time. 

“yours.” corvus agrees, fighting back a laugh as james pulls her into his arms.

“mine, mine, mine.” 

“awfully possessive there, jamie.” corvus does laugh this time. it just sort of bubbles out of her. like she can't control it. she really rarely can with james.

“mine, mine, mine.” james repeats, pulling away slightly and pressing kisses up her neck and to her the hinge of her jaw.

yours, yours, yours. corvus thinks.