I know the end

"PETER YOU GIT BETTER START RUNNING CAUSE I'M GONNA KILL YOUU" Remus woke up in the morning confused and immediately covered his eyes, the curtains of his bed were throw open and to his displeasure no one was lying next to him.

“What the hell’s going on here?” He asked Sirius, who was lying on the floor almost choking from laughing.
He heard various loud noises and then a terrified Peter came running out of the bathroom, a pair of scissors in his hand, James still in his pyjamas chasing him not far behind.

It just took a look at James’ head for Remus to realize what had happened and suddenly he understood why Sirius was gasping for air on the floor.
James’ hair was, at best, shittier than Remus had ever seen them look and seemed to have been chopped by a 5 year old with Parkinson's, which was impossible, just to get the idea of how bad it was.
“James, I'm sorry we can adjust them, just stop chasing me” Peter begged, still running around the dorm, he had just jumped over Remus’ bed, stepping on the fingers of his right foot, which made him scream and Sirius laugh even more.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! AND YOU EVEN DARED TO SAY YOU WERE THE BEST AIR CUTTER I COULD ASK F… OOOH FUGK” James suddenly slipped on one of Peter's chess pieces and almost fell to the floor, saving himself at the very last minute.
But he was just regaining his balance when he tripped over Sirius, who was still laying on the pavement, and came tumbling down, hitting his ass hard on the floor.

Everyone stopped laughing. For almost a minute the room went completely still and quiet and Peter even stopped running, everyone was looking at James.
Remus secretly thought this was the moment James was gonna explode but then he bursted into laughs and while he massaged his aching ass said “You're safe for now but watch your back Pettigrew, you know I'm gonna find a way to get revenge”
And then everyone started laughing again and Remus thought he could not remember how long it had been since he had laughed so much he was crying.

•••

Thank Merlin it was a Saturday because James solemnly refused to get out of the dorm room for breakfast, since he didn't want Lily to see the condition of his hairs, and forced the marauders to stay in with him, while Peter went to the great hall to get everyone something to eat.

The marauders had managed to calm down, except Sirius who couldn't stop for his life, bustling out with laughter every time he looked at James, while the last one was getting more and more annoyed.

In the meantime Remus decided to start searching for a way to grow the hair back, thinking his real researchers could wait.

When Peter got back to the dorm they ate, talking about this and that around the fire that was crackling with bright and red flames, creating an intimate atmosphere around the entire room.
In a way that Remus thought was so normal to be painful.

They spent the rest of the morning laying on the couch, Peter and Sirius playing chess game, and Remus trying to figure out how to help James even though he was not assisting a bit, asking every 30 seconds if Remus found something, since in the afternoon he was supposed to go out in hogsmeade with Evans, which Remus supposed was the reason he trusted Peter to cut his hair in the first place.

“I'm sorry mate, I think you'll have to wear a hat for a while”
Sirius commented, patting James on the shoulder and laughing mischievously. And it could've been an option if only it wasn't the beginning of September and, as far as Scotland was not a warm place, it was still too hot to wear sweaters or hats.

“Oh shut up Padfoot!” James snapped pushing Sirius away.
“Moony, have you found something?”
“For the hundredth time, if you keep asking me if I found something I won't find anything. Do something of yourself, I'll let you know if I figure it out” Remus was getting annoyed, he had always hated being interrupted while reading.

He was starting to lose every hope after a couple of hours, but just before he decided to give up, Remus found something that could've been helpful.
“James come here i think i found a solution”
“Oh thank god” James said getting closer to Remus, his face the portrait of hope.

Remus glanced for the last time at the book on his lap, then performed the spell and a second later James’ hair grew to touch his shoulders, so now Sirius and him had the same length, a fact that caused Sirius to burst into laughs again, saying they were practically twins.
“Stop laughing, Pads! Has it worked?” He tentatively touched his head, horror blossoming on his face when he realized the length, while Peter and Remus were trying to not laugh.

“Don't worry Prongs we can adjust them now”
He said and in fact they, or for better say Remus, since the other two were useless tossers, spent a good hour cutting James’ hair.

“I love you so so so much Moony, you don't even know”
James said while getting up from the chair they had positioned in the bathroom, hugging Remus and kissing both of his cheeks when they finally finished.
“And while as for you, i can just say, be careful” he pointed his finger at Peter as a promise and before anyone could say anything else James ran off the bathroom and out to the common room to meet up with Lily.

•••

The rest of the weekend passed uneventfully, and a few days later Remus thought everything was working quite well.
It was just the middle of the next week though, when he discovered something odd.
He had never been the kind of person to follow quidditch in his old life, and he could count on the fingers of two hands the times he stopped to see the games, and on the fingers of one hand the times he had stopped to see the practice.

This time though he wanted to enjoy everything he was too busy to enjoy the first time around, and so wednesday Remus decided to grab a book and assist in the stands at James’ practice.
Only to find out that James was not his only friend on the team -besides Marlene-.
Remus had just arrived when he found out that Sirius was on the team too and was playing as the second beater.

A position he shouldn't have been in since the prank in fifth year.
Mcgonagall had banished him after what happened, so what the hell was Sirius doing on the quidditch pitch?
Remus had forgiven him a long time ago but still… he didn't think Sirius should have been able to play.

This was not important though, what really confused Remus was how was it possible that in this reality Sirius was allowed to play? Perhaps the version of Remus who was here before he came back decided to be more mature?
Remus, who had always been curious by nature, hated to not know what had happened and desperately wanted to know what was different now.
He couldn't ask anyone though, they would think he had gone mad if he suddenly started to question why Sirius was back on the team, when there was a chance he was never banished in the first place.

•••

He brooded about this for the next few days.
The only way to know was to ask, but he couldn't do that, so he needed to find a different way. Which had to wait since James was slowly getting his revenge against poor Pete.

He started slow, messing with his parchments and quills so that now every time Wormtail tried to write something the only things that written down were ‘James Potter is the hottest marauder’ over and over, at which Sirius obviously got mad, so he and Prongs settled for ‘James and Sirius are the hottest marauders’.
Then James started messing up with Wormtail’s laundry, turning everything neon yellow which cost him detention for a whole week.

Peter, on his side, was trying to defend himself as best he could, hiding James' quidditch stuff, putting off his alarms so he, and apparently Sirius, since he was on the team too, would not wake up on time for their practices. Though this did not annoy Sirius, actually, he was really happy to sleep more.
Or he charmed Prongs food so everything he ate tasted like garlic, causing Lily to refuse to even sit next to him.
All this though just served to wind James up even more, causing an endless spiral of inside pranks between the marauders.

If James dyed Peter’s hair green, Wormtail would respond by hiding every assignment James was ready to hand off, causing Prongs to get multiple detentions.
If Peter enchanted every portrait to start screaming ‘asshole’ over and over every time James passed by, Prongs would respond with a charm that would make Wormtail’s hands stick on everything he touched.

Remus, at first, was really content to mind his own business, thinking it was better not to get involved.
But all this went on for a whole week and everyone in the Gryffindor tower was starting to wonder when it would stop, and had even put up bets on who would surrender first.
And to be honest Remus, and surprisingly even Sirius, were starting to get annoyed.

First, in the seven years of their friendship, the Marauders had never been known to fight against each other, or at least not in public.
They had made this rule in fourth year when Peter and Sirius were arguing about who should shoot it out with a Hufflepuff girl.
The only exception to this principle had been for Sirius and Remus in fifth year, a fight that lasted for months and did not really fade until almost a year later.
Second, Sirius was tired of not being the center of everyone’s attention.
And last but not least, all this internal fighting had put a stop on the planning of real pranks, which was an unacceptable thing.

So after a whole week of this, Remus and Sirius decided it was time to draw the line and constricted both James and Peter to sit down and resolve this mess.

“It has to stop somewhere guys”
“But he started! Do I have to remember anyone the state of my hair after he put his sticky hands on me?” James exclaimed, pointing his finger at Peter who sat on the opposite side of the room, arms crossed in a defensive mechanism.

“For the last time James I didn't do it on purpose, it was an accident and you know it! You're just mad because Lily didn't go out with you!”
Wormtail screamed in response. It was rather true, because just a few minutes after James had run off to meet Lily, he came back with a bright red cheek, caused by Evans who said she was not at James disposition, waiting all day for him to deign her to make arrangements, causing James to be miserable for the whole evening, blaming every bad thing that ever happened to him on Peter.

“Oh! And who knows why? Perhaps because I couldn't go out that morning and arrange things with her since someone c-”
“STOP IT NOW! BOTH OF YOU! I'm tired of hearing all this bullshit. We don't fight against each other and you know it. Here's where we draw the line.” Remus exploded looking at both of those gits.
“But-”
“I DON’T FUCKING CARE PETER! Do you know that everyone in the tower has made bets on you two? Waiting to see which one of you will give up first?” Sirius interrupted before Wormtail could say anything else.
Both fighters now looked quite embarrassed.

“This needs to stop now! I don't care who did what. This is it, say sorry to each other” Remus continued with a rather authoritative tone, and Sirius looked at him with a strange gaze, almost like he had noticed something for the very first time and Remus quickly looked away from Sirius.

To everyone’s surprise both of them apologized and Remus hoped it would be over, but much to his displeasure, even if James and Peter did not actively fight, which was already a win, things continued to be kinda awkward in the dorm during the next days, both of them not knowing how to act around each other, influencing the mood of everyone in the room the shared.

But if there was a way to restore the balance between the marauders, that was to find a common enemy, someone to fight who was not one of them. And in order to do this they would have to work together to plan and execute a brand new prank.
Throughout the years they had found that this was the best way to put a stop to any awkwardness or fight, so Sirius and Remus were currently reunited to start brainstorming in the library, a place where Padfoot’s presence never went unnoticed.
They needed something to propose to James and Peter, but for it to work it had to be tempting and dangerous, and mostly it had to be against the right people.

“So first thing first what we have to decide is who's gonna be the poor victim” Remus started.
“Right, so I think our best options are basically three: the Slytherins, the teachers and Snivellus” Sirius responded after having casted a silence charm, listing each option on the tip of his fingers.
And Remus was not the kind of person who didn't know an opportunity when he saw one, he knew that if they decided to prank Snivellus he could find an excuse to ask about The prank, so he said “You know… I think Snape would be the perfect catch”
“But you always say to not prank him!” Sirius exclaimed and Remus couldn't really remember saying to not prank someone, especially Snivellus but Sirius didn't need to know that so instead he said
“But this isn't about me, isn't it?”

•••

“Tell me again why we can't split up differently” James asked while they walked towards the dungeons.
“You're the best one with levitation spells, so you have to go in there, I can't come with you because we wouldn't fit under the invisibility cloak and Padfoot here isn't really padfoot so if he went in with you we would get caught the minute he puts a step inside the slytherin common room, so it has to be you and Peter, he'll turn into Wormtail if something happens, in this way it will be easier for you to escape”

Remus and Sirius had spent a lot of time creating the perfect plan.
This obviously included making Peter and James work together, which was rare since they usually paired as Pads and Prongs and Wormtail and Moony.
James didn't answer and so they remained silent for the rest of the way that separated the tower from the dungeons.

A lot of preparation and study was involved in this particular prank, and every marauder had been assigned a different task, even though the biggest part of the work was required by Wormtail and Prongs, who had to rescue Snape.
Things could easily go wrong since a major part of the work had to be done in the enemy territory, so they had to be extremely careful.
The plan was to first get into the slytherin common room, so James had waited in front of the passage earlier that day with the invisibility cloak in order to get their password.
After that they would get into Snape's dorm room unnoticed, and then, the most important thing, get him out of the dungeons without waking him up.

This is where Peter comes up, throughout their time at Hogwarts he had made friends with the house elves and he managed to convince them to put a sleeping draught into Snape’s pumpkin juice at dinner, a potion that Sirius spent almost four days preparing, since it was not in its regular version, but it had to activate itself after a few hours or people would get suspicious if they saw Snivellus fall asleep in the great hall.

If this part had worked as they hoped, Severus should sleep until about 8 am, which would give them all the time to do what they needed to. Then, since it was impossible to apparate inside of Hogwarts, James would silently levitate Snape and his bed out of the slytherin common room, praying to not wake anyone up or else they would probably end up in detention until the end of the school year.

Then, when and if this part also worked, they would get into one of the many secret passages that connected the whole caste.
Remus and James had spent almost a week trying to find the shortest path, staying out of the dorm way past corfew, sometimes joined by the other two marauders, measuring the passages to see if a whole bed could pass.
They would have to switch to many different passages and would be forced to take parts of the way in the regular corridors, since a straight path from the dungeons to the great hall did not exist, or, to be honest, it did exist, but it was not big enough for a bed to get through, so this part of the plan would be the longest and probably the riskiest.

Once they got to the dungeons the marauders parted ways and Remus and Sirius positioned themselves outside of the common room, ready to go whenever James and Peter got out.

“Do you think this is actually going to work?” Remus asked.
“I hope so, or i will have to kill one of them” Sirius said, casually leaning onto the wall and letting out a small laugh.
After that they remained silent for a while, Remus was a little bit nervous to be honest, much time had passed since he participated in a proper prank.

The air in the corridor was cold and stale, as it always was in the dungeons. Everything was quiet and Remus could feel Sirius' heartbeat, could sense him trying to not shake from the cold, always trying to hide his weaknesses.
He turned his face to look at Sirius, who was already staring at Remus' side profile.
He thought that Sirius was even more beautiful than usual now, with the light of the torches that reflected their flames onto Sirius’ face and into his eyes, making him look almost ethereal, and despite the freezing air Remus felt warm inside. Sirius was here and was alive and nothing bad had ever happened yet and he would never have to know all that suffering, because Remus would not allow it, because he would protect him this time.

“Do you remember the prank?”

And Remus hadn't planned to ask about it right now but the question slipped out of his mouth without his consent, perhaps because of Sirius’ deep, piercing gaze that could see right through Remus’ soul.

“What prank? We've done a lot of pranks in the last six years”
“The one in fifth year”
“You have to be more specific Moony”
Remus narrowed his eyes in confusion, Sirius must be joking, how did he not remember about the prank?
But Remus had no time to think about it since he heard silent steps not far away from them.

“Someone’s coming. We need to hide, now” Remus took Sirius by the arm and pulled him behind one of tapestries that hid a little alcove, just big enough for them to get inside.

And just a bunch of seconds later Filch's voice filled the space otherwise completely silent. “Who's there? I heard someone talk. Where are you little snakes?”

“How dare he compare us to those snakes!” Sirius exclaimed muttering and Remus immediately covered his mouth with his own hand so he would remain silent.
That was the problem with Sirius during the pranks, he could never shut the fuck up so most of the time he got caught. But Remus was not in the mood for detention tonight so he gestured to Sirius to stay quiet while Filch passed right in front of the tapestry they were hiding in, and Remus pressed harder his hand on Sirius's mouth, holding his breath.

And as fast as he came, Filch kept walking, continuing his patrolling in the rest of the castle.
Remus probably should had expected it, the moment they were out of danger Sirius bit him
“Ouch! What the fuck Padfoot!” Remus retreated his hand.
“Honestly you had it coming Moony, no one can shut me up” they got out of the alcove and Remus snorted.

“Ptsss! Padfoot! Moony! Are you there?” They heard Peter ask, his head popping out the door.

“Yes yes we're here, c’mon get out we have to go” Sirius responded and Peter retired. Suddenly, the door widened open and a very much asleep Snape still in his bed came out of the slytherin common room, followed by a focused James and Peter with the marauders map in his hands.

James grinned at them both as they started walking towards their first passage.
“Has it been difficult?” Sirius asked. Remus knew that secretly, Sirius wished he had gone with James instead of waiting outside with him.

“We had to stupefy a bunch of first years but yeah it was easy” James responded in a serious tone.
“What!?” Remus and Sirius exclaimed at the same time, they had just gotten into the passage.
“Calm down, obviously I'm kidding, you should see your faces” he laughed mischievously and Remus rolled his eyes, it was such a James’ thing to say.
Sirius did not react as calmed though and playfully punched Prongs in the arm, which caused James to almost lose the grip on his wand, the bed shaking uncontrollably. Thank Merlin Peter had already his wand out and immediately helped him regain balance.

They continued walking through the passages, checking the map before getting out to reach the next one to see if there was anyone around.
Everything was going as planned and soon they got to the last passage.

“So you're sure we can't just throw him in the lake?” Peter asked while they exited just in front of the great hall.
“For the last time, as much as i would like to, we can't” Sirius responded and silently they entered the hall.
Finally James put Snivellus down exactly at the center of the room.

Remus got closer and put the duvet aside.
There were two last things to do, the first, which was being dealt by Remus, was to change Snape’s pyjamas into a muggle t-shirt and a pair of boxers with the words ‘smack my ass’ written behind, so that everyone would read it when he got out of the bed the next morning.
And the second, which was being dealt by Sirius, was to move all the tables house in a circle so they were positioned all around the bed.

“I can't wait to see his face tomorrow when he wakes up here” Sirius laughed when they finished and soon they started walking towards the tower, constantly checking the map. They couldn't be found now or everyone would know that it was them who did the prank.

Finally, it was almost 3 a.m when they got into the Gryffindor common room safely and they laughed hysterically all the way up to their dorm, everyone congratulating each other on the success of their first seventh year prank.

Once they calmed down they ended up talking from bed to bed for a good half hour before deciding they were still not tired and spent another couple of hours around the fire, talking about everything, catching up with the last weeks’ news and gossip. There was already daylight outside when they fell asleep, everything was finally settled between them.

And that's how one of the longest fights the marauders ever had ended.