Chapter 4
Remus
Remus was currently dealing with a very upset Sirius Black. And a not-so-well-kept secret about Sirius was that he had a tendency to lash out when he was overwhelmed. Sometimes people who got caught in the crossfire got hurt because when Sirus burned bright no one was spared. Of course, the person most upset in the end was always Sirius, who would dwell on his heated words with such deep regret.
That brings them to now alone in the dorm room during lunch with Sirius throwing a magical tantrum as tears roll down his cheeks because he doesn't know what he needs.
“Sirius put your wand down please your going to regret tearing apart our dorm when you have to put it back together.” Remus says trying to rationalize with him.
“How did he end up here? Why is he even in our classes? He couldn't stand me. I don't think he's ever looked so furious with me.” Sirius was ranting as his bed curtains fell after another spell hit them.
“Sirius you need to stop now you're going to hurt yourself by accident.”
“Why does it even matter Moony my brother hates me and I only made it worse. I told myself if I ever saw him again I would tell him I’m sorry I left him behind.” - “I left my little brother behind Remus do you get that, I left, and now he's here throwing dark spells at me and looking like a clone of them, I’m going to be sick” Sirius said.
Remus watched as Sirius passed looking paler by the second. Sometimes in moments of panic Sirius had spells of disassociation. His parents had tried to have him diagnosed as ODD but he was a better fit for PTSD Remus thought.
He only knew all this because he’d snuck into the headmaster's office one day and stolen his whole year's charts out of curiosity. He’d never told anyone and kept his mouth shut about what he knew but it had given him a leg up against some of the people here at Hogwarts.
Know your enemy and all that, plus Moony hated to be caught by surprise. But Sirius right now didn't need much, just support. Sirius would be embarrassed after this episode passed but Remus cherished how trusting Sirius was. Most people wouldn't even approach Sirius when his temper was bad but Remus knew the person who was going to be hurt the most was always Sirius.
“Come here Pads,” Remus said patting the spot next to him on Sirius’s ruined bed.
Sirius always listened to Moony and dragged himself to sit next to Remus looking panicked and alone.
“It’s going to be okay Sirius, breath with me, forget everything else” Remus would sit by Sirius’s side as long as it took for him to feel safe in his mind again.
“Moony I don’t feel well” Sirius shuddered as his emotions seemed to fall over him at once. The glassy look in his eyes broke Remus’s heart but he wasn't going to analyze why yet.
“I know pads” was all he said before Sirius fell into his lap and held on so tightly to Moony while his shoulders shook and silent tears rolled down his face.
“He's never going to talk to me again, I told him he's like our parents,” Sirius said between breaths.
“Sirius, he will you said that during a duel when he was being a jerk I bet he's forgotten it now.” Remus appeased
“You don't know him like me, to us that is the worst thing we could be called. Them” - “I just wanted him to feel as hurt as me in the moment I didn't mean it, he will always be my little brother.” Sirius was coming back but now he had a dejected sad puppy look that was sure to last all week and Remus was getting worried. He was gonna ask James to keep an eye on him when he caught him next.
“I know Sirius, we will fix this we always do okay” Remus had a way of speaking that promised anyone he cared about that he wouldn't rest until they were okay again.
Anyone would be so lucky to have Remus care about them. But he was selective about his family and it took a lot for Remus to give in and be close to people.
Sirius will always have a special place in Moony's heart because for the first two years at Hogwarts when he couldn't read Sirius would stay up late and read to him every night after everyone was asleep.
Having Dyslexia was something even James and Pete didn't know about him. He didn't know why he didn't tell them really, he had gotten past being ashamed but it still felt like a weakness.
Plus Remus knew James was keeping his own secrets since he’d read his chart. Sometimes he felt bad he knew things about James since he had always respected his privacy. But he never told anyone what he knew and he let James hide his OCD while he hide his Dyslexia.
After some time Remus noticed that Sirius had gotten quieter, and as he looked over the beautiful boy was asleep and finally calmed.
Rolling over and tucking Sirius in Remus decided he would let him rest and check back in after dinner. He walked out of the door after leaving a quick note telling Sirius he was headed to class and would make up an excuse for him.