about you

Regulus Black had been through hell and back, but nothing was as difficult as seeing James Potter for the first time in seven years.

It was hard to believe, even for Regulus himself. Regulus had been kicked out and disowned after coming out as trans to his parents. He had suffered in the modeling industry from his childhood until when he started transitioning at 16.

Yet in Regulus' mind, the reaction James had to seeing him made those matters seem small.

Regulus knew that when the band and their management decided to invite The 1971 to the event it meant both Sirius and James would be there. Most people, including Regulus himself, thought seeing Sirius for the first time since transitioning would be the worst. However, the worst wasn't Sirius, but instead was his best friend, James Potter. The same James Potter who, according to Remus, had the biggest obsession with Regulus while they were at boarding school. Regulus was never able to wrap around the idea that James Potter had a crush on him.

Upon looking back at their school years, Regulus found that he had never once said anything relatively nice to James. Why should he? Sirius had runaway and moved in with James, leaving Regulus alone with their parents. Despite that, Regulus found it hard yet also easy to believe that he was infatuated after Regulus kept blowing him off.

James never changed from boarding school, despite all the years that had passed. He still had a smile that lit up an entire room and he still wore those completely awful glasses. Regulus noted that James and Sirius were still joined at the hip, but nothing could change that.

Regulus was ten when he first heard Sirius mention James Potter.

It was directly after summer break began, when Regulus and his parents picked up Sirius from the train that came from his school. Sirius was recalling his last term on the car ride home.

"I officially have a best friend now. Isn't that cool? We made a contract and everything," Sirius, who was eleven at the time, said proudly.

"What's his name?" Regulus asked, curiously.

"James. James Potter," Sirius beamed.

Regulus had never heard of the Potters himself, but their parents caused a riot over this friendship. Sirius had been forbidden to speak to James or to even talk about James in their house, but naturally, Sirius didn't listen.

Later that evening, Sirius snuck into Regulus' room to finish retelling his adventures from school. Regulus always adored when Sirius talked about what happened at school and who his friends were.

"Do you think it's weird that I think of James as a brother?" Sirius asked quietly.

Regulus tilted his head in confusion, "I'm not sure? I think it's weird that you want James to be your sibling when I'm right here."

"It's not weird! You're a girl and my sister, having a brother is different. You and I can't bond over the same things. You don't like playing sports or anything with me, but James likes to do those things. We run around together and pull awesome pranks. That's why he's like a brother," Sirius said with no remorse.

Regulus was upset by his words, "Fine! If we can't bond, then get out of my room. I don't want to see you anymore."

"What? You can't take the truth?" Sirius raised his eyebrow.

"I said, get out!" Regulus shoved him off of his bed, motioning for the door.

"Fine, oh my god. This is what I meant..." Sirius grumbled as he walked out and nearly slammed the door shut.

How could Sirius replace him, his sibling of ten years, with someone he just met earlier that year?

Regulus winced at the memory. Seeing Sirius had brought up memories he had shoved deep down in his head, and they were only getting worse.

Before Regulus could spiral into his childhood trauma, he heard his phone ping. He pulled himself out of his memories and got up from where he had been sitting on his couch to grab his phone from his room.

Once settled back into his spot on his couch, Regulus opened his phone to find some unread texts.

evanpoo: has your brother's best friend replied to ur hello text yet

Regulus groaned. He completely forget he had texted James last night when he got home.

reggiepoo: i don't know actually let me check

evanpoo: YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING UR LITTLE STINK????

reggiepoo: stink???

evanpoo: yeah.. i was scared to call him ur boyfriend
but if u dont like the term of endearment Stink i can start calling him ur bf !!

reggiepoo: okay You're done
WE MET LAST NIGHT???

evanpoo: a lot can happen in one night Regulus..

reggiepoo: anddd you're blocked

Regulus swiped off of his and Evan's texts to see if he had any others. Of course, James had texted him back. Not just with one simple text, but quite a few.

LOVEOFMYLIFE: hi, this is regulus :) just wanted to text first so you had my number

futurehusbandjames: IM SO SORRY I MISSED UR TEXT
but omg!!! regulus!!!! how are you my lovely (future) husband :-))
also
the 1971's casual album release party is tonight i need a date thing so could u Maybe Possibly be my plus one
would it be weird if sirius asked remus to be his plus one but in a friend way
maybe?
did u block me

Regulus stared at his screen. He didn't know if he should be afraid or worried.

LOVEOFMYLIFE: Dear God Okay
1. hi James im alright i did not expect this?? also why is future in parentheses
2. Im So honored to be your "date thing" ... thank u
3. sirius asking remus would definitely be weird and remus is already going with skmeone appearantlu

futurehusbandjames: YIPPEEE im not blocked!!
1. glad youre okay!! and no reason i just felt like typing it like that
2. dont know if you're being serious but party starts at 9:30 PM at sirius' place i'll give u the address later if you dont want me to pick you up
3. WHAT??? who is remus' DATE THING!!!

LOVEOFMYLIFE: ok enough of the lists
give me the address i dont want u to kidnap me, plus i have noisy roommates
remus is going with grant chapman, lovely guy, but i believe lily invited grant

futurehusbandjames: aye aye captain i will hand over the address even tho im NOT!!! a kidnapper

LOVEOFMYLIFE: yeah okay sure whatever u say buddy

futurehusbandjames: ignoring that Anyways
ive never heard of grant until now wtf

LOVEOFMYLIFE: really?? remus talks ab him a lot and plus the guy is a dancer AND model

futurehusbandjames: oh
ARE REMUS AND GRANT DATING??? WTF

LOVEOFMYLIFE: no they're not dating they're just A Thing ??? idk

futurehusbandjames: Wow thank you so much for that clarity that helped me So Much (sarcasm)

"Who has you smiling at your phone?" Someone said suddenly from behind him, causing Regulus drop his phone from shock. He whipped around to see Dorcas grinning at him and Pandora behind her.

"Jesus Christ, you guys!" Regulus groaned.

"Hey! I was reading that," Pandora scoffed as she got closer to the couch in an attempt to see the rest of the conversation on the open phone. Regulus snatched his phone from where it was laid on the couch cushion, and sent James a quick text.

LOVEOFMYLIFE: very welcome i gotta go, see u soon xx

Regulus stared in horror, realizing that he sent two kisses after he had sent it. Dorcas let out a laugh from behind him.

"Two kisses? What happened to you, Mr. I Hate James Potter?" Dorcas questioned as she raised an eyebrow.

"It was habit, I swear!" Regulus yelled out defensively.

"Sounds like you have a little crush on a certain Potter." Pandora teased as she smirked.

"I do not! I still despise him." Regulus crossed his arms and huffed.

"Alright, whatever you say loverboy," Pandora said. Regulus let out a noise of offense before she continued, "Sounds like you have a party to get ready for. You look like you're struggling with wardrobe, but Dorcas and I are amazing friends so we'll help you."

Regulus glanced down at his current outfit and saw what they were talking about. He had on an old The 1971 shirt that belonged to Remus and pajama pants he's owned and worn for three years.

"I think I need the help," Regulus admitted. Dorcas and Pandora shared a look before ushering Regulus to his room so they could pull outfits for him to try on.

The pair had picked out over fifteen outfits, and Regulus had to try each on and model them per Dorcas' orders.

"Guys, I'm getting flashbacks to the runway shows I used to do," Regulus said as he walked out of his room and to where Dorcas and Pandora sat in the living room, examining his outfit.

"You'll be fine, Reg," Pandora mumbled before looking at Dorcas. The two whispered with each other, occasionally looking back at him.

"Okay, that's it. This is the outfit," Regulus cut off their whispering.

"We were just about to agree." Dorcas remarked as Pandora smiled next to her. Regulus stared at them, frowning.

"You two are so difficult," Regulus mumbled while he glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly 9:10 PM. He groaned, "Shit- Of course I'm nearly late. I need to leave, I'll see you two later."

Regulus ran to the bathroom so he could finish getting ready. He fluffed his hair and made sure he looked alright in the outfit. Once he was satisfied with his appearance, Regulus scrambled out of the bathroom to get his shoes on. He grabbed his phone and keys after his shoes were on.

"We love you!" Dorcas yelled out as he ran to the door and proceeded to open it.

"Be safe, use protection-" Regulus cut Pandora off by slamming the door shut.

Regulus walked out of their apartment building and began his journey to Sirius' apartment, which was a fifteen minute walk. He definitely felt weird going to his brother's apartment all while his brother thought he was dead. Sirius would never know that Regulus was the same person as his poor little sister whom Sirius abandoned unless Regulus told him. Regulus certainly did not plan on telling him either.

He felt his phone buzz and looked down to see a text from Remus and James. He opened Remus' text first.

wolfjohnwolf: why did james potter just tell me that u are coming to this party as his date..
did u forget to tell me something

bestblackbrother: NO i swear i was just getting ready plus dorcas and pandora were snooping so i didnt wanna risk them seeing more

wolfjohnwolf: so u did forget ... AND SEEING MORE??? grant is reading this from over my shoulder and even HE'S SHOCKED

bestblackbrother: Hi Grant from Over remus' shoulder
i'll be there in ten goodbye

Regulus swiped out of their texts and looked up to see where he was. Just as he thought, he was about ten minutes away. Regulus looked back at his phone and he opened James' text.

futurehusbandjames: is it okay if i introduce u to sirius? he's very intrigued by u guys having the same last name

Regulus felt like a cement block had dropped from his chest to his stomach. This was seriously not happening to him, right? He read the text five more times before he decided he was hallucinating. He thought about turning around and having a fun night with Dorcas and Pandora. Yet, Regulus' feet seemed to betray him as they continued to walk towards his ultimate doom. Regulus looked back down at his phone and started typing a reply.

LOVEOFMYLIFE: yea, sure
i dont mind

futurehusbandjames: great!! see u soon <3

Regulus knew that he could play off his last name, but his appearance was a different story. Remus even told him that he looked identical to Sirius. That didn't matter to Regulus though. Just like what he told himself before, Sirius wouldn't know for sure unless told by Regulus directly. The media didn't know and the only people who knew he was Sirius' brother were his friends.

Before he knew it, Regulus found himself standing outside of Sirius Black's apartment door. He took a deep breath and knocked. A few seconds passed with door opening. Regulus glanced down the hall and thought about making a run for it. He heard the door in front of him open and he whipped his head to see James standing there with a huge smile on his face.

"Regulus! I'm so glad you're here, you look great. Come in," James said as he stepped aside to allow Regulus to walk in. He walked passed James and glanced around the living room where about twenty people were gathered. Out of the small crowd, he saw Remus and Grant on the couch talking to Lily and he also spotted Peter in the corner chatting with Sirius, Marlene, and someone he didn't recognize.

"Nice little group in here, I'm not sure if I know all of them," Regulus said, turning his head to look at James, who was standing next to him.

"I don't know if even I know all of them, Sirius and Marlene were the one sending invites," James let out a small laugh before motioning for someone to come over. Regulus looked at where he was motioning to and saw Sirius and Marlene approached them. He glanced over at Remus, who had an amused look on his face. Regulus saw Grant give him a small wave, but before he could cry for help, he was met with Sirius Black in front of him.

Sirius just stared at him for a few seconds. It felt like hours for Regulus.

"So you're the apparent angel who James won't shut up about? I'm Sirius Black, James' brother and best friend," Sirius said proudly.

Regulus grimaced at the word brother. It seems like somethings truly don't change.

"Wish I could say that James has said a lot about you, but he hasn't. I didn't even know he had a brother. It makes me believe that you must not be a great brother if he hasn't said one single thing about you. I'm Regulus Black, by the way," Regulus said, smiling.

Regulus heard a small laugh and saw Remus attempting to cover his laughter with a cough. James glanced over at Regulus in disbelief, then over to Sirius. Sirius was silent. He looked taken aback by Regulus' words. Marlene, who stood next to Sirius, seemed to just stare at him in awe.

"I'm Marlene McKinnon, it's nice to put a face to your name," Marlene offered a small smile.

Regulus remembered Dorcas talk about a Marlene on the way back to their shared apartment last night.

"It's nice to meet you, Marlene. Do you know a Dorcas by chance?" He asked.

"Oh, uh, yeah actually. We met last night," Marlene replied, face flushed.

He nodded while looking at her curiously. Sirius cleared his throat and Regulus shifted his gaze to him.

"Have I met you before? You seem oddly familiar and we even have the same last name," Sirius questioned.

"I don't think we've met before and my family is large, so I'm not sure if being family is a possibility," Regulus took a shaky breath before continuing. "I used to be a model, but I didn't use my current name."

Sirius slowly nodded before he spoke, "Oh, alright. Sorry for asking. You're friends with Remus, right?"

"Yeah, why?" Regulus asked.

"How long have you two been friends?" Sirius questioned.

"I believe since Remus was twelve and I was eleven, so about ten years," Regulus said as he shrugged.

"I just find it odd that I've never met you even while Remus and I were engaged," Sirius stated, venom in his voice, and stared at Regulus.

"Jesus fucking christ, is this an interview? Get off of my dick and worry about yourself." Regulus scoffed.

"Okay, that's enough," James said as an attempt to break the two up.

"But he-" Sirius began as Regulus started walking away. He walked to the couch and plopped down next to Remus, who had been watch the whole ordeal.

"Interesting night?" Remus asked with an amused look on his face.

"Shut up," Regulus said, practically pouting as he looked over at James and Sirius. Regulus could feel the anger radiating off of Sirius, even from across the room. James was trying to calm him down while Sirius was angrily whispering.

"Do you think it would be horrible if you actually told Sirius?" Lily hesitantly asked from where she sat across from Regulus.

Regulus just shrugged and stared at the table in front of him. His friends all believed that Regulus really didn't have a reason for hiding the truth from Sirius. However, deep down, Regulus was scared of being rejected by the last family he had, even if he didn't really have Sirius in his life.

"Tell Sirius what?" James questioned as he approached the group. Regulus was too deep in thought and didn't even notice him leave Sirius' side.

"Nothing, Lily was just talking about something she needed to tell him," He was lying, but it was to save himself from being exposed. Lily gave Regulus a weird look before she got up and walked to Sirius. Regulus watched her leave before he glanced up at James, who gave him a stupidly pretty smile. Regulus motioned for James to sit next to him, so James plopped down next to him. Remus whispered something to Grant, which resulted in both of them getting up and going to the kitchen.

Which left James and Regulus alone together on the couch.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier. While I honestly don't regret what I said, I apologize for putting you between him and I," Regulus said after a few beats of silence.

"It's alright- I mean it's not but, thank you for apologizing to me. This might be personal, but did something happen between you two that no one knows?" James replied while he looked down at Regulus.

"I mean, not really? I'm just friends with his sister's old friends and I've heard of the way he used to treat her, so I can't bring myself to like him," Regulus answered. He felt odd referring to himself as if he wasn't Sirius' sibling, but he had to do what he needed in order to prevent a slip up in front of James.

"Oh, I see," James replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "I feel awful about his sister, I was never particularly nice to her but I wasn't mean at the same time. I just never spoke up against Sirius' jokes about her while she was near or the pranks he pulled on her."

Regulus nodded and motioned for him to continue.

"I know I probably shouldn't tell you, someone I'm interested in, this but, I always used to like his sister. It was odd, looking back. She called me names and such because I helped Sirius do stupid things to her, like put hair dye in her shampoo and shit like that. I wish I could go back and apologize to her," James admitted.

Regulus paused for a moment. It was definitely odd, as James said, for him to be hearing this. Not only because James was attracted to him, but because Regulus was the same person James was talking about.

"That was a lot, I really wasn't expecting that," Regulus laughed softly. "It sounds like you haven't ever told anyone that."

James shook his head, "I haven't, really. I couldn't tell Sirius for obvious reason, and Peter can't keep a secret for the life of himself. I did tell Remus once, though."

"Sounds about right. I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me, even if we've know each other for barely a day. I'm sure she wouldn't hold that against you if she was still here today and she heard what you just said. She sounded lovely, really," Regulus insisted.

So what if he complimented himself while talking?

"Thank you so much. Honestly, I appreciate it," James grinned at him before completely dropping the subject. "Enough of my sappy shit, do you want a drink? I can go get one for you."

"Sure, you can choose for me," Regulus said while smiling.

"Your wish is my command, Future Husband," James remarked as he hopped up from where he was sitting and made his journey to the kitchen.

Regulus watched him walk off with a dopey smile on his face and realized that after everything he had gone through, he was glad to see James Potter again.