8
8
James wakes up with a groan and the memories of last night’s party dawn on him. He yawns and tries to shake the sleepiness and the daze off of his head. There’s a mild headache pounding on his temples and he regrets having drank that much, not just because of the after-effects of the alcohol but also because the booze makes him pee and it’s not ideal for his out-of-order bladder. He’s scared to check.
A knock on the door makes him almost jolt and when he looks, Sirius is standing on the threshold and James is slightly taken aback that his friend is already up.
“Hey, Jamsie! You up?”
“Ugh, kind of”.
James pushes himself up on the bed while Sirius walks towards him and stops by his side.
“You need help?”
“I think I peed myself. I shouldn’t have drank all those beers”, James whines, covering his face with his arms.
Sirius chuckles. “Do you want me to check?”
“Hmm… Yes, please”.
Sirius lifts the duvet and looks under. Then, he lets it go and looks at James, hands on his sides. “You didn’t pee yourself, asshole. Now, get up and come to get some breakfast. We have that lunch with your parents today, remember?”
James exhales a sigh of relief and relaxes against the bedrest. It wouldn’t be the first time that his bladder betrays him, but spending the entire morning cleaning himself and changing the sheets of the bed isn’t among his preferable activities. Besides, it would be a punch in his pride.
“Yeah, give me a few minutes and I’ll come”.
“Need help?”
“Naaah, I’m good. Fetch me some coffee”.
“Sure, idiot”.
Sirius leaves the room and James manages to get into his wheelchair and wheels to the bathroom. When he starts to catheterise he indeed realizes that his bladder has been pretty full and he’s not sure how it managed to not let everything go since he doesn’t have control over it. But he won’t complain. Maybe it’s just luck.
Then he washes his face, runs his hand through his hair — not that there’s much to do with it, it’ll always look like a birds’ nest — and heads to the kitchen.
He doesn’t even put clothes on, both Remus and Sirius have seen him in his boxers and Sirius has seen even more than that.
“Hello!”
“Oh hi, James. Slept well?” Remus asks him with a bright smile, busy at the stoves.
James can smell bacon and eggs and he realizes now that he is very much hungry.
“Yeah! You?”
“Like a baby”, his friend replies.
Sirius sets a plate full of food in front of him as soon as James gets to the table and then looks up at his friend.
“Wow! What’s this prince-like treatment?”
“Well, you offered your house for the party so it’s the minimum to thank you. We also cleaned up the kitchen and threw away the empty bottles”.
James raises an eyebrow at his friends. “You didn’t have to do that. You know it’s not a problem”.
“We didn’t, but we wanted”, Remus replies with a smirk, giving Sirius another plate.
James usually offers his house for gatherings or parties or whatever, because he likes it and because it’s the most comfortable place for him, meaning it’s the most accessible place. Well, Remus and Sirius live in a stair-less house because Sirius insisted on it even though it costs more and as for the others, none of them lives in places where James could go without help. Mary’s apartment is an old, narrow place where James’s wheelchair can barely pass through and Lily’s has ten very high steps to get to it and she can’t put a ramp because she would have to ask her neighbours since they fall under common expenses and the reply would be a straight up no. Then, Dorcas and Marlene stay in a condo and there are four flats of stairs to do, no elevator.
British houses are a pain in the ass.
“Eat, James!” Sirius orders and James grabs his fork while his friends join him at the table.
“When did you guys wake up?”
“A couple of hours ago. Not too soon”.
“How did you convince Sirius to get out of bed after last night?”
Remus throws a mischievous glance at his boyfriend who ignores him and keeps eating.
“Oh, let’s say I have a couple of secrets up my sleeve”.
Sirius rolls his eyes. “It’s his puppy eyes. Plus, he starts kicking you in the ankles when he wants you to get out of bed”.
“Lucky me I wouldn’t feel it if Remus and I were to sleep in the same bed”, James jokes casually.
Sirius almost spits his coffee when he bursts out laughing.
After breakfast, James leaves Sirius and Remus to clean the dishes a bit reluctantly and goes to his bedroom to dress for the day. They have lunch with his parents, so he opens the wardrobe to find something to wear.
He pulls out a pair of light jeans and a shirt then takes a glimpse at the phone lying on the bed and his mind starts to spiral with many thoughts.
This is probably the stupidest and lamest idea he’s ever had, but at this point, he doesn’t care. He pulls out another shirt and, lays both of them on the bed, trying to smother the wrinkles. Meanwhile, his right leg starts to spasm, but he ignores it to take a picture of the two shirts, making sure to frame them both.
He then opens the chat with Regs and sends the picture, along with a text:
James: which one? Red or blue?
Putting down the phone, James leans forward at the edge of his wheelchair and rests a hand on his right calf to soothe the nerves in the leg. He doesn’t know why but this technique works when his paralysed legs start to twitch and shake randomly and he hates it, mostly because it draws too much attention when he’s in public and people don’t know what’s happening with his legs. One time he was accused by an old man that he didn’t need the wheelchair because if his legs could move then he could walk.
Yeah, people are fuck-ta-stic!
Right, the text.
James doesn’t really need advice for what to wear because his parents don’t care, but he wanted an excuse to text Regs, and sending him a casual “hello” didn’t seem like a good idea. He wants to draw some witty, sharp reply from the boy.
But then, it’s Sunday and Regs might be sleeping or busy with something else. Someone else even.
Instead:
Regs: what’s the occasion?
James smiles.
James: lunch with my parents.
Regs: and you want to dress up nicely for your parents?
James: because I respect them, I don’t want to go like a hobo.
Regs: touché.
Regs: why do I get the feeling that you’re a momma boy?
James: oooh, you know me already too well.
Regs: by the way, for the shirt… the red one. I don’t know why but I think the red one is
your colour.
Oh, is this boy some kind of seer?, James thinks. Indeed red always looks good on him and is also his favourite colour. But if Regs chose the blue one he would have put on the blue shirt.
James: thank you.
“Prongs? Are you done?” comes the booming voice of Sirius from the living room.
Right! He needs to go.
“Coming, Pads!”
Quickly, James puts on the jeans and the shirt – well, as quickly as a man in a wheelchair can – and starts to grab some other stuff he might need.
Then, his phone pings again.
Regs: least you can do is show off now ;)
Oh.
Didn’t he… He did.
James stops in the middle of the room, phone in his hands, and starts to think. Regs asked him for a photo, right? Didn’t he misread that, did he?
And he could… He could send him a picture. He has a mirror on the inner side of the wardrobe’s door, a full-size mirror.
But…
But that would mean revealing to Regs that he’s disabled and he’s not ready for that. He’s not ready to watch Regs go away from him, blocking him.
And okay, yeah, maybe that’s not going to happen, maybe Regs is not a jerk like that but is he willing to take the risk? He doesn’t know him very well, after all…
James starts typing quickly, setting on a simple:
James: you wish ;)
A bit of mystery on his part could make the other one more curious. Also, Regs has read him like an open book so far, so James needs to keep some charm if he wants to win this.
Regs: a man can only wish sometimes.
Okay, Regs, thank you for making me more nervous now.
James is about to reply again when Sirius’s call reaches him again.
Later.
James grabs his coat and beanie and starts putting his stuff in a rucksack with one hand while manoeuvring his wheelchair with another.
“Sirius, can you grab the car keys, please?” he asks without looking at his friends.
Sirius gets up and goes to the plate at the entrance where James leaves all the keys.
They put on their coats, scarves and hats and leave the house.
Sirius closes the door behind them and James and Remus go to the car.
~•~
James stops the car in front of his parents’ house and Sirius immediately goes to the back to take his wheelchair.
Fleamont greets them at the door.
“I’ve heard a car pulling in the driveway”, Mr Potter says with a smile.
“Hi, Dad”.
“Hey, son. Sirius! Remus! It’s so nice to see you”.
“Monty”.
“Come on in, boys. Effie is almost done with lunch”.
James wheels on the ramp to get through the door — a ramp that Fleamont built himself with Sirius’s help— and is drawn to the kitchen by a very delicious smell of food.
“Oh, my God!! This smells like heaven!”
“Honey, how good to see you”, Mrs Potter utters with a gleam.
“Sirius! Remus! I haven’t seen you in a while”.
“I know, Effie! Shame on us”, Sirius replies.
“Please boys, sit down”, she invites.
“Mum, I’m already sat”, James quips with a smirk.
Effie rolls her eyes. “Don’t play smart on me, James”.
James cackles.
“Monty, could you set the table? Lunch will be ready in two minutes”.
Monty, never one to disobey his wife, starts pulling out the plates and cutlery to prepare the table. Sirius helps him, knowing very well where all the things are thanks to living with the Potters since he was sixteen.
Lunch is served and they eat while talking about casual stuff, jobs and gossip. Monty recounts to them some funny stories of a friend of his who he meets at the golf club and Effie informs them about her voluntary work at the hospital.
It’s a fine and nice lunch, they joke and laugh and refill their glasses with wine multiple times.
James feels comfortable and at ease. But that’s always the situation with his parents. He’s grateful for them, for having such lovely and accepting parents. It’s not that granted. They helped him through a lot, especially soon after he got paralyzed and was still in the hospital. His dad showered him many times and helped him dress and his mum changed his nappies when his bladder would leak all the time like she did when he was a toddler— and he felt embarrassed to the verge of tears—and smiled a lot even though everything seemed a giant tragedy.
They both were so supportive and so encouraging and never made him hold back tears when he wanted to cry. They made sure to make everything accessible in the house and in the places he spent time, trying to never make his disability seem like a burden, at least on their part. And, of course, they paid for part of the house he lives in.
If there was a prize to give to the best parents, Euphemia and Fleamont would win them all and James is very aware of that, knowing that the majority of his friends don’t or didn’t have the best relationship with their parents and families.
“James has a boyfriend!” Sirius utters at some point during dessert, a mischievous smirk on his face.
James turns to look at him bewildered. “I don’t!” He bursts annoyed.
His parents are staring at him with curious frowns.
“He’s not a boyfriend. It’s just a guy I’m texting to”, the boy explains, looking slightly sheepish, his eyes on the plate.
“And how did you guys meet?” his mother asks, her voice sweet.
“We didn’t meet. He got the wrong number and I replied. And then we kept texting. That’s it”. He could say more, his parents would give him some good advice to dismantle this confusion of feelings he feels and the mystery that is this man he is obsessed with. But he can’t. He wants to keep Regs for himself and it would be kind of lame of him to ask his parents for love-affairs advice.
“And he doesn’t even want to give us a name”, Sirius laments.
“Well, it’s none of your business, Sirius”, James rebuts with a menacing smirk. It’s in moments like this that he regrets not being able of kicking Sirius in the shins. But he can well enough wheel over his feet, as soon as he finds the right chance.
“Okay, honey”, Effie interjects. “Just be careful”.
“You are too old to be told not to trust strangers”, his father mocks him.
Sirius and Remus cackle while James throws a glance at Monty that is half threatening and half joking.
The five of them exchange a few other pleasantries until it’s time for the boys to go home, each of them with a packaged plate of leftovers to bring home.
~•~
James puts himself comfortably on the couch, remote and phone next to him, his laptop on the coffee table if he wants to use it, and turns on the tv, drowning his hand in the bowl of popcorn.
He’s bored. It’s Sunday night, he doesn’t have much to do and it’s still early to go to bed.
It’s a bit frustrating if he has to be honest. When he was in high school, he would always find something to do, mostly outside the house. If anything, he would go for a run. Now that’s not an option. But also in university, he would have something to do, his friends would hang out with him, Sirius was still living with him and his parents. Now they all have their homes and their little families and activities.
Gosh! They’re getting so old.
Another thing that is so different from the younger version of himself is that he gets easily tired. Maybe it’s a combination of him being near thirty and moving in a wheelchair that always adds more strain on his body— getting on and off, pulling it in and out of vehicles, wheeling around with his hands, manoeuvring it and adjusting every movement around it. People think that not walking doesn’t tire you, but they have no idea.
While switching from show to show on Netflix trying to decide what to watch, James’s phone pings with a notification. He takes it and his heart skips a beat when he reads Regs’s name.
Regs: hey.
James: hey :)
Regs: you okay?
James: yes, just bored. You?
Regs: am okay.
When Regs seems not to write anything else, James thinks about something more to text, but then another message arrives.
Regs: do you mind having that phone call now? If you are in the mood of course. And if you don’t have anything to do.
Oh God! He didn’t expect it so soon. He didn’t expect it at all, actually. He thought that maybe Regs would have changed his mind. But now… he’s asking.
Okay, calm your tits, Potter.
James: of course. Do you want me to call?
His heart is beating fast now and a tingling sensation has set in his stomach.
Then, after a few moments, his phone lights up with an incoming call. It’s Regs.
Fuck! Fuck! It’s not the time to hyperventilate.
James takes a deep breath and swipes to respond.
“Hello?” He says, cringing at how unsure his voice came out.
“Hi”, James hears on the other side and… Oh, fuck! That’s Regs’s voice? James feels he could faint. How is it possible to have a voice that sounds both sweet and sexy?
“I hope I haven’t interrupted anything. I just needed… Some company, I guess”, Regs keeps on and James takes a moment to regain his composure.
He clears his throat before replying: “No, don’t worry. I was… I was just lying on the couch trying to find something to watch on Netflix”.
“And did you find anything interesting?”
“Not at all. Everything seems a copy of what I’ve already watched”.
James hears some movements on the other side of the line so he gathers that Regs is probably doing something while speaking.
“Yeah. That’s one of the reasons I stopped my subscription”.
“Not a tv show addict?” James asks trying to humour. Regs’s voice is still giving him some tingling in his chest but it’s fine. It’s totally fine.
“I don’t really have much time to watch anything. But I have HBO. And sometimes I use my friend’s Disney+”.
“Great choice!”
A few moments of silence pass; James’s listens to the sounds on the other side and hears water running and something being tossed.
“So, how was your day?” he then asks for the sake of conversation, but he is really interested.
There’s a sigh before Regs speaks again: “It was okay. I spent it with my best friend. We talked a bit about… stuff. And then I went to the Academy and danced a bit”.
“You dance even on Sunday?”
“Well, it helps me not to think. When I dance I can focus on something else and… Just shush the voices in my head”.
Oh.
That’s a revelation. Not that big but it’s important. And James is glad he knows something intimate about the other guy.
“Yeah, I get it”, James replies and he’s sincere when he says it.
“How was lunch with your parents?”
So he remembered.
“It was good. I went there with my two best friends. Actually, one of them is like a brother to me, he also came to live with us when he was sixteen. We unofficially adopted him”.
“That’s… interesting”. There’s a slight twitch in Regs’s voice when he says that, almost imperceptible, but James notices it. He doesn’t give it any thought, though; after all, people are always a bit stunned when he mentions Sirius’s and his story.
“Yeah. It’s… Well, let’s just say that all my friends are like a family to me”.
“For me, it’s the same. I don’t have many friends actually, but… We are very close. I can’t say I had a good example in regards to family, but they… My friends, I mean, they are… They’ve been life-savers for me”.
“Yeah”.
There’s a fondness in Regs’s words while speaking of his friends and James cannot but let that warmth engulf him. He’s glad this guy has the same opinion about the friend topic and that he also has some people who care about him like himself. It puts positive grounds on their eventual relationship.
Relationship? Wait, no, James, don’t go there.
“Hey, do you mind if we talk tomorrow?” Regs says. “I have a couple of things to finish and then I think I’ll die in my bed”.
James chuckles. “Of course, don’t worry about it. Call me when you want. Or text. You know…”.
“Yeah, I know. Thanks for the chat”.
When Regs ends the call, James puts down the phone with a smile on his face and his heart swelling from emotions.