Fangs
It was just about the most boring day ever, Remus declared. Evan and Barty had kicked him out of the room - he didn’t even want to think about what they were doing - and Dorcas was out in Hogsmeade with Marlene. Pandora had a test to study for and Regulus? He had been missing the entire day.
Remus had spent most of the day reading, staying as calm as possible. It would be the first full moon alone in a year. He was terrified, although he would never admit that. Instead, he was now wandering the halls, looking for some sort of distraction.
He had a good two hours left until he had to report to Madam Pomfrey, more than enough time to mentally prepare and eat dinner, but he could so far do either of those things. Preparing for the full moon was still impossible to him, the terror of losing control too big. Eating would also only cause him to throw up later, so he didn’t do it after lunch at the latest.
Any of his new friends - it still felt weird to think that - would have probably stayed with him if he had asked them, but Remus really did not want to bother anyone. He hoped that Dorcas and Marlene were having a good time and he was really relieved about Evan and Barty apparently getting along again, getting along really good apparently.
And then there was Regulus. He hadn’t been at breakfast or lunch. Remus hadn’t seen him in the common room or the library either. It was as if he had vanished. But Remus understood. Sometimes it was just important to have some time alone.
His thoughts were interrupted by faint music coming from the end of the corridor, sounding vaguely classical. As far as Remus was aware, there were no music rooms there, so it seemed strange to him. Maybe he had just found his distraction.
As he approached the room, he could hear someone count under their breath, sounding exhausted. What startled him was that the voice was vaguely familiar. He couldn’t make it out entirely, so he approached the door slowly, peaking in.
The last person he had expected to see was Regulus. He was wearing casual clothes, a thin shirt and thigh pants and he was dancing. Ballet was what it looked like to Remus.
Regulus Black was dancing fucking ballet.
Remus had never seen someone move as elegantly as Regulus was moving in that moment. He seemed to be floating above the ground, never quite touching the ground, already moving just a second before. It was the first time that Remus saw Regulus’ shape as he would usually wear layers upon layers of clothes.
He was slim and with his size, that made him look fragile. Like a porcelain doll, perhaps. At the same time, it was unusual to see him that vulnerable, that open. It was as if Remus could read him like an open book in that moment, just from the way he moved. It was so personal, Remus almost felt guilty and ashamed to be watching like this.
But he couldn’t stop. Of course, he had no idea of dancing, but watching the way Regulus’ body flowed with the music, not only to it but becoming part of it, was addicting. Like a drug slowly seeping into his bloodstream, a steady stream keeping him intoxicated, forcing his eyes to look.
And Regulus seemed too much in his own world to care. Remus must have been standing there for five minutes and Regulus hadn’t spotted him at all. It was admirable and somewhat impressive that he was so unaware of anything else, able to tune it all out, just focusing on this one thing.
Remus could have watched for hours, days, with no need to drink or eat or do anything at all, as long as he could watch Regulus in front of him, dancing, moving, being so fascinating and beautiful and seeming like something not from this world…
His thoughts were interrupted abruptly by the sound of the door creaking. Remus hadn't noticed how he had leaned against it slowly, but now he was stumbling into the room, causing Regulus to turn around and stare at him in shock, giving Remus all the confirmation he needed that he had not been supposed to see that.
"Remus? What are you doing here?"
"Regulus I- I'm sorry I just heard the music and I didn't mean to interrupt you I am so so sorry I can just go-"
Regulus put his hands on Remus' shoulders and dragged him to a chair, pushing him down.
"If you're already here, you can just as well give me corrections" he mumbled and the music started back up.
Regulus walked to the middle of the room and took a few deep breaths and started moving again, the music flowing along his body like water, Remus could almost see it on him. It was otherworldly, beautiful, it felt so special.
Even if Remus had an idea of dancing at all, he would have been unable to give corrections on anything, to him it all looked more than perfect.
The way Regulus' body was stretched and he was turning and moving around the room at Remus' brain short circuit for a moment, before everything became incredibly clear.
He didn't care about anything, really. He had already lost a friend group and he had survived. What would one more rejection do?
Remus got up from the chair, having to lean on his cane heavily, feeling as if the electric feeling of anticipation in his veins made his body even worse than it was.
Regulus noticed the movement and stopped, the music continuing nonetheless.
"Remus?" Regulus tilted his head slightly, furrowing his eyebrows confused.
Remus said nothing, instead walking towards him slowly, looking down at him. Never before had he noticed how small Regulus was - or maybe he was just really tall.
Regulus didn't move at all and Remus took that as the last motivation he needed to put his fingers under Regulus' chin and lean down to kiss him.
Within milliseconds, the attitude of not caring about rejection switched in his brain. He was almost certain that if Regulus pushed him away, left the room or yelled at him, rejecting him in any way, he would drop dead on the spot.
Regulus was the air he breathed, the blood in his veins. He wouldn't survive without him.
Remus had fully prepared himself for Regulus to push him away, but the two hands he felt grabbing his collar and pulling him closer were so unexpected that he stopped functioning altogether for a second, making Regulus chuckled before he pressed his lips on Remus'
They stayed like this for what could have been hours, days, even millenia, the music slowly playing in the background, wrapping them in its warm blanket, letting them forget everything.
It was Regulus who pulled back eventually, panting, looking up at Remus with glassy eyes, his mouth slightly open. Remus smiled back softly, with adoration, a feeling so strange to him, so foreign that it almost scared him.
He would hurt anyone that dared coming too close to Regulus, he swore himself in that moment.
A few seconds after they had parted, Regulus just fell forward, trusting Remus to catch him, and he did, but not without having to sink to the ground himself, his legs giving out.
Regulus whispered something Remus couldn't make out, asking him to repeat himself again
"Sorry"
"Why are you apologizing?" Remus felt his heart beating against his chest. The last thing he wanted was for Regulus to regret this.
"I'm probably a terrible kisser" he mumbled, causing Remus to laugh in a mixture of relief and amusement
"Was that your first kiss?" He asked and Regulus nodded. Remus pushed him back slightly, making him look up and smiling.
"You weren't a bad kisser at all"
He leaned down, kissing Regulus for a few seconds and chuckling as he pulled back.
"Or would I have kissed you again if I didn't enjoy it? What is much more important is that you enjoyed it"
Regulus nodded "I did, really, don't worry about me" his cheeks were flushed and it was a rare picture, seeing Regulus Black embarrassed and vulnerable.
Somewhere in the distance, the bells of the clock tower rang and Remus groaned, turning his head towards the noise.
"You have to go, don't you?" Regulus asked, the hint of sadness evident in his voice. Remus nodded, slowly getting up, pulling Regulus with him.
Remus grabbed his cane and his bag he had put on the chair, hesitant to leave, feeling betrayed by the entire situation. He would have desperately needed to talk to Regulus, there was just so much to say. But instead he found himself in the doorway now.
"I'll be in the hospital wing when you get back" Regulus said with a serious voice, the tone that left no interpretation and no debating.
Remus just grinned and nodded "Do what you want, Fangs" He chuckled, having come up with the nickname spontaneously, inspired by the sharp, almost vampire-like canines that Regulus had. Were the Black's descendants of vampires? He pushed that question back for another time.
"I believe in you"
After that, the way up to the hospital wing seemed much easier now, knowing that while he had to spend the night alone, he would not be left alone after.
Madame Pomfrey was already waiting for him when he came walking in, smiling brightly when she saw him
"A Remus! A pleasure to see you. How are you doing?" She was not making an effort out of hiding her concern for him having lost his friends, but for once Remus didn't care, he let her worry and told her a little about his past month.
For once, as Remus walked to the Shrieking Shack in the knowledge that he would have to spend the full moon alone, he wasn't scared. Because someone believed in him.