coincidence
Not having to work all summer is probably the best part about being a teacher. It means that Andromeda can go on vacation whenever she likes and can do whatever she pleases during the day. Everyday. Luckily Ted has a pretty flexible work schedule so they have plenty of free time together. Around the beginning of summer, they went on holiday to visit some of Ted’s family in Greece and popped around a few islands there.
Being back in the UK now where the weather is all over the place makes her miss Greece. She very well could just go back, but she doesn’t. As much as she can and does complain about the weather here, she loves it nonetheless.
Instead, she has spent most days finding a cozy spot in a park or a cafe to read. Occasionally Andromeda will pull out her notebook to sketch or write, but that isn’t often. Both of those are hobbies she left behind long ago. They remind her too much of her family. As much as she loves them, thinking about them brings too much pain along with the good parts. So she only does that if she can’t find a book to read or something else to occupy her day. Or when she is feeling particularly nostalgic.
Earlier this week, she returned to the small bookshop she went to with Ted a while back. The atmosphere is just so serene, but also she finally remembered the book that caught her eye and wanted to see if they got the first in the series back in stock. Somehow she hadn’t been able to find it anywhere else, though she didn’t try all that hard. They still didn’t have it and the woman there was anything but helpful.
It’s really quite annoying. Especially since school is out so Andromeda has a lot more time to spend reading, she really wanted to dive into that series. All her life, well as long as she’s been reading, series have always been more appealing to her than a standalone book. Being able to really immerse herself in the world of the series and getting to spend multiple books with the same characters brings it to life more. Obviously it needs to also be well written, but that’s true for everything she reads. Needless to say, she’s itching to find something good to read at the moment.
Today, Andromeda finds herself wandering the aisles of her local library while Ted is off at work. Usually before coming here she has a book in mind and checks the online registry to ensure that it’s available before coming and making a list of backup options just in case. That isn’t what she did today. There is no specific book, or even genre, she’s looking for. Though if that one series she can’t seem to remember the name of, but can’t stop thinking about, happens to fall into her hands off the shelf, she won’t be complaining. What Andy does do, is start all the way in one corner at the As and makes her way all the way through every shelf all the way to Z. Around the G’s, her phone buzzes quite a few times.
lily [16:22] andy!
Are you in town?
I know you went on holiday recently but i hope you’re back now
My friends and i are headed to a pub not too far from you i think
Please come!! I’ve been dying to introduce you to them, you’ll love them
andromeda [16:24] I’m around! What time?
Send the location!
The trip to the library ends unsuccessfully. As she waits for Lily to send what pub they’re going to, she heads back home to change and see if Ted is by any chance home early to join her. She has no problem going to meet them on her own, though being around a bunch of twenty something year olds when she’s older than that could drain her pretty quickly and having him there too would be nice. In the end he isn’t, but that’s okay. He can meet up with her later maybe.
By the time she is ready to leave the house, it’s just past 17:00. Maybe with going for drinks this early, she’ll still be able to have an early night. Lily was right, the pub isn’t far from her at all. Close enough that she can walk. Andromeda pops her headphones on and grabs her bag and heads down the road. She’s been to a lot of places around here throughout the years since her and Ted moved, though not everywhere. This pub is one she hasn’t been to, which makes sense since Lily and her friends seem to frequent it and they haven’t run into each other before.
andromeda [17:12] I’ll be there in just a few!
lily [17:15] We’re at a table towards the back!
Not everyone is here yet but i am :)
seeeeee youuuuu soooon
She laughs at the texts knowing that Lily has definitely already started drinking. As she turns on the street and sees the sign for the pub, she mentally prepares to walk in and be surrounded by a bunch of (likely drunk) people younger than her. Not that Andromeda is old, but there is a definite difference between 28 and 24. Maybe she’ll just have to go drink for drink with them and that will make it more even. Or at least more fun.
It’s easy to find them, mostly due to Lily’s red hair. And the loud laughter coming from the back of the pub. The whole atmosphere already makes her feel lighter and ready for a fun night. There’s five of them here already, though Lily is the only one she recognizes.
“You’re here! I got you a drink already.” She smiles and passes the glass to her. “Come meet everyone.”
Excitedly, Lily pulls her into the group. There are stools around the table, however it seems everyone has opted to stand. Most likely because there are more people than stools so it would be awkward. Andromeda doesn’t question it. Tonight she is just going with the flow, she’s along for the ride. Let the 24 year olds handle everything.
“Okay so, this is Mary - You’ve heard about her. Then this is Remus. I’ve probably mentioned him too.”
“What are you talking about me for, Lils?” The tall one - Remus - asks, rolling his eyes.
“All of your worst and dirtiest secrets, obviously.” Lily winks at him, though all she has ever said about him has been funny stories. If she recalls correctly, he’s her best friend of many years.
Andy just laughs along with them. Eventually Lily continues around the table introducing the rest of her friends, the ones that are here that is. There’s twins named Gideon and Fabian, though she has no idea which is which. Hopefully by the end of the night she can sort that out, or even better if she does it sooner. She doesn’t want to call either of them by the wrong name, even if they are probably used to it. Lastly in the group that was there when she arrived is Marlene. She is the loudest of the group, and only seems to get louder the more she drinks. A guy named Peter joined the group at some point as well. They all seem great and everyone is happy to meet her.
That’s refreshing - no, refreshing isn’t the right word. Andromeda is a pretty easy going person and people don’t dislike meeting her. But with them all being younger and only knowing her as the co-teacher of one of their friends, she had no idea how the night would play out. Luckily she’s welcomed into the group and the conversations almost seamlessly.
The drink Lily got her is quite strong, so she takes her time sipping on it. “Is this everyone?”
“Not yet, Remus’ boyfriend should be getting here soon. I think you’ll get along with him great. Actually, you’re quite similar now that I think about it. He’s running late as always.”
It’s quite a few new people to be meeting all at once, but somehow it’s not as overwhelming as she expected. “Oh, is your girlfriend coming? Wait, are you officially dating, I forget where things stood the last time you mentioned her.”
“She might stop by later, but she had to help a friend with something tonight. You’ll have to meet her another time if she can’t make it.” When Lily talks about her girlfriend her smile grows wider.
It’s adorable to see honestly. Andy has been with Ted for so many years now that the puppy love has worn off. Not that there’s any less love there, but it’s just the norm now. Seeing someone so young and so head over heels for someone warms her heart. She was just like that when she first started dating Ted, even still a few years into their relationship. But now, nearly eleven years in, the giddiness has faded quite a bit. It isn’t something that bothers her, that’s just how it is. Though she really doesn’t know what she would do without him.
The chatter carries on and seems to only get louder and louder by the second. Maybe that’s just the whole pub getting louder as the rest of the tables fill in, but it’s also everyone individually talking a bit louder too. The alcohol only increases the volume of everyone’s voices and the whole group of friends seem to feed off of each other.
Slowly Andy gets a chance to talk to everyone and learn about who they are. Mostly it’s small talk like where they grew up and what they do for work. Somehow she gets trapped in a conversation with the twins and Peter about football and there seems to be a debate about which team they support. Or maybe it’s about which team they think will win in the Premier League this upcoming season. She’s not really sure and doesn’t have anything to contribute to the debate other than things she has heard Ted mention before.
Mary and Marlene are fun to talk to as well. They both have quite loud personalities and love to talk. The two of them carry the conversation, but Andy doesn’t mind. She happily sips on her drink, now her second, and listens, chiming in when she can. But for the most part she just observes and finds herself people watching the other patrons of the pub. Tonight there seems to be a big mix of people here. There’s what looks like freshly eighteen year olds getting beers at the bar, some older men sitting in the corner talking, and a lot of twenty somethings enjoying a night out just like this group.
Out of all of the friends, Andy gets on particularly well with Remus. He seems to like a lot of the same music and is quite easy to talk to. They are both less rowdy than the rest of the group, so they eventually find themselves standing more to the side. It’s also nice to have a conversation where they don’t get exponentially louder. Both of them seem in agreement that doing so is unnecessary.
While they talk, Andy continues to let her eyes wander around the room. In one glance she sees something that catches her eye, but not enough to know what it is. Remus is in the middle of telling a story about Lily from the last time they went out, or maybe it’s from years ago when they were at uni. She’s not really sure, she might have missed the beginning of it. Either way, she listens while also looking around the pub for what stood out to her before.
Was it someone she recognized? It wouldn’t be Ted, she would have definitely noticed if it were him. It could honestly have just been something shiny, like a piece of silver jewelry that was caught in the light and stood out. Or a stranger she’s seen in passing before that her brain remembers. Sort of like when people’s faces make an appearance in dreams based on real people you’ve seen, even if you don’t recall them when awake.
Then she sees it again and it starts to click. It’s someone’s eyes. A distinct grey color that gets a slight twinkle to them when light hits. She knows those eyes, she definitely does. It’s unmistakable. In all her life, she’s only known a few people to have those eyes. But it wouldn’t make sense, why would they be here? It’s been years and she hasn’t crossed paths with them. Any of them.
“My boyfriend just got here, he should be making his way back here. I think you two will get on well.” Remus pulls her attention back.
No. That- that can’t be right. It would be too much of a coincidence, right?
And then Lily yells. “Sirius! Back here!”
It apparently is that much of a coincidence.
The recognition doesn’t hit him quite as quickly. Probably because he’s noticing his friends first, or maybe because it’s been so long that they have both grown up so much and don’t look the same as they did as kids. Andy knows that it’s been more than ten years and that she’s changed since then. So has he, but that doesn’t really mean that much. When she sees his eyes, he’s still the little kid that she helped to raise and would take for ice cream. The same kid that looked up to her. The same kid that was struggling at home but always put on a brave face for everyone else.
He’s still her little cousin Sirius. That hasn’t changed. Even with years apart, even if they never thought they would see each other again, even after everything.
As he walks over the shock starts to slightly wear off, not entirely but it’s replaced by a more overwhelming emotion. Relief. Pure relief that he is okay and looks happier than he ever has before. That’s what she’s always wanted for her sisters and cousins. For them to find a way out and a way to be happy in the life they live. It seems that he has, though she’ll be able to hear more about that very soon. In a few seconds even.
Sirius walks right into Remus’ arms and says hi to his friends. He then takes the glass from his boyfriend’s hands and helps himself to a few sips. Somehow he still hasn’t noticed the extra person in the group. Andy seems to be frozen, unable to be the one to break the ice. She wants to reach out and pull him into a hug, but something stops her. They haven’t seen each other in so long, and she did leave completely unannounced. Abandoning all of them. It’s not definite that he holds a grudge against that, but the chances are not zero. So she hesitates.
“Sirius, this is Lily’s friend from work, A-” Remus starts and Sirius finally turns his head.
“Andy?” The childlike innocence in his voice breaks her heart and puts it right back together.
She could cry. Tears are brimming in her eyes, though not enough to spill over. The two of them stand there just staring at each other. As if this is fake, a dream that is going to end at any second. Both hoping to death it’s real, but terrified that it isn’t. Scared that if they reach out for each other that everything will fade away.
“Hi kiddo.” She smiles and chuckles, feeling her own eyes well up.
The likely confusing interaction catches the attention of some of the group. “Do you two know each other?” Lily questions.
“Lily, why the fuck did you not tell me you work with my cousin?” Sirius snaps, though the anger is playful. “I mean… Fuck. Andy, are you actually here right now?”
“It’s really me.” Andy pulls him in.
Suddenly it's ten years ago. Andromeda is hugging him for the last time, though only she knew that. It’s ten years ago and then it’s more. It’s twenty years ago and they’re kids. They are children, hugging because there is nothing to worry about. Andy is hugging Sirius to comfort him after a fight with his parents. He’s clinging to her like she’s the only safe place he has ever known.
It’s twenty years ago, it’s ten years ago, it’s today. Different. The same. None of that matters.
Time was never what pulled them apart. No, that honor goes to their parents. Any place and time is fine by them, all they really need is each other.
They stay like that for what seems like a long time, maybe too long, maybe not long enough. When they pull back from each other, everyone’s eyes are on them. Andy looks at him, now eye to eye when he used to be so small. He has tears pooling in the corner of his eyes, only making the grey shine more. She never wants to let him go again, but she knows he’s okay.
“Someone needs to explain what’s going on here.” Someone that Andy doesn’t pay full attention to calls out from the other side of the table.
The two Blacks look at each other, waiting for the other to explain. This causes them to break out into laughter. The sound rings in her ears and she’s overwhelmed with happiness. It’s been ten years, and she didn’t realize how much she needed to be back with family. At the same time, her heart pangs and she would give anything for her sisters to be here too. Sirius probably feels the same longing. No matter how full having each other next to them is, there are still missing spots on the other side of each of them.
“Sirius is my cousin.” Andy says, not sure what else to say.
“Wait- Sirius, haven’t you not seen any of your family in like… eight years?” Marlene cuts in.
Oh. Eight years. That’s not when Andromeda left, so that must be when Sirius left. He would have been… 16? That sounds right. That was younger than she was when she left. Which must also mean that he ran away on his own without any help. Was he the last one there? No he couldn’t have been. Andy is almost certain her baby cousin would have still been there. Alone, after Sirius left.
The thing is Andy can’t blame him for leaving. It was probably the first opportunity he had and he took it. She did the same thing. She left behind two sisters, so she gets it. But she didn’t leave anyone all alone. It’s not Sirius’ fault, of course he had to do what was best for him, but still. Knowing her other cousin might have been all alone makes her heart ache. No one should have to deal with her aunt and uncle alone. That’s just not right.
“Ten since we last saw each other.” She shyly admits.
They look back to each other. Somehow that feels better than all of the eyes on them right now. Even if when she looks in his eyes, she can tell there’s a lot they have to talk about. They both know it. Mostly Andromeda wants to know what happened in the two years between when she left and when Sirius left. And everything since then.
Why didn’t Sirius come to her when he left? It could have been good for both of them and she could have helped him. He was only a teenager, it must have been so hard figuring out life on his own then. Then again, that would be better than staying with his parents, so she gets it. That still doesn’t explain why he never reached out to her for help. He had to have known she would have done anything for him.
“We should talk, right? That’s the next thing to do.” Sirius looks to her, seeming a little lost.
Everything about him is so familiar. She knows him in her bones, but he’s also changed. He has more confidence, he seems more like himself. A version of Sirius that she maybe never got to know before, but will do everything she can to get to know now. But when he looks to her for reassurance in what he’s saying he’s that little boy that lives in her memory.
It’s always been something that has scared her. She’s never gone searching for her family and none of them have found her, until now. But she wondered if they would be the same, if they would run to her like they used to, if things would be able to fall into place. It was a horrible thought that plagued her on her weaker days, that any of them could look at her and not still feel the love that was always there. That any of them wouldn’t want to have her back in their lives.
That’s still up in the air, but it’s looking up. There isn’t bad blood or burnt bridges between her and Sirius. Andy isn’t sure if there are between her and her sisters if she were to ever see them again, but she really hopes there isn't. As much as she never searched for them, she wants to now. It’s possible to find each other, even if by accident, as proven tonight.
She would just need to get over the fear and try.
“Yeah, but later. Okay? Let’s have tonight and then we can unpack everything later.”
“You’re staying, yeah? Just tell me you’re not going to leave again.” His voice comes out small and Andy wants to break into a million pieces.
She was the one to leave. Definitely the first, and evidently not the last since he left too. But she was the first to go. None of them saw a way out until one day she did, and she left. Until her, Sirius was probably never scared of anyone leaving. Did she put that fear in him? Was that her doing?
It’s always been hard to think about that time in her life. How she knew that she had to leave or she wouldn’t make it. That she couldn’t tell any of them about her plans to leave or they would be able to get her to stay. Andy knows that it wasn’t the right thing to do by her sisters and or cousins, but it’s what she had to do. There wasn’t another option for her at that point. Somehow she will find a way to explain that to Sirius, and the rest of them if they ever reunite.
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You have me back for good, I promise.” Andy confirms.
He nods, though still looks a bit defeated. A bit unsure. She can’t blame him. Of course he has a hard time trusting anything, much less her word that she won’t leave again. It will get better over time, Andy tells herself. It has to. She wants Sirius back and she wants them to be able to lean on and trust each other like they used to. It’s something that she has wanted for a long time, even if she never let herself admit it.
The rest of the group, though unsure of the entire situation, carries on as usual. Or at least what Andy assumes is their usual. She laughs with them and even joins in on joking around. It’s comfortable, more than expected. All of them seem lovely and though she doesn’t spend too much time talking to all of them, she can confidently say she would be happy to be invited out with them again.
That’s just one of the nice things about the night. The best part isn’t even that Andromeda has Sirius by her side. It’s that she gets and takes the opportunity to share a story about Sirius. One that only they know. Well, maybe he’s told it to others since then, but it’s still theirs. It is perhaps more likely that he never shared it because if he’s anything like her, which he at least used to be, he probably doesn’t talk about the past much. The past… That’s putting it lightly. To Andy it’s more like the before. Before she left, before her life truly started, before everything fell apart and at the same time fell into place.
Sirius surely has the same type of perception. He has a time period that is before, and this is his after. She just doesn’t know when his after started. She doesn’t know what was the reason for drawing the line in the sand to denote before.
The story she tells the group goes something like this. Mary recounted the first time she drank and how just the one time made her traumatised enough to not drink for another three years after that. She was 15 and had way too much vodka that some guy she knew at the time gave her. She apparently hadn’t even made it out of the house before she was throwing up.
This sparks a memory for Andy. “Do you know the story of the first time Sirius got drunk?”
He audibly gasps, seeming to have not thought about this particular time in a long time. “Oh my god, no.”
Sirius shoves her in the way that family does, but she continues because of course she does. “We were having this really nice dinner that our parents all decided was necessary. Do you remember what it was for?” He doesn’t. “Anyway, Sirius was really upset about something but he couldn’t get out of the dinner.”
“I really did not want to be there. I just remember being furious with mother.” Sirius adds.
Thinking back, Andy doesn’t even think that Sirius was upset for something that had to do with him. He was being protective. It was definitely Andromeda’s youngest cousin that had been yelled at for something ridiculous, but just took the yelling and punishment. Sirius hated it, they all did. He was sure that if he sat through that dinner that he would do something that would cause a lot of trouble and get all of them in deep shit. So he wanted to get out of it.
“He was I think fourteen at the time and he came up with what he described as a great plan. It wasn’t a great plan. Sirius, the genius that he is, decides to sneak some wine into his glass. Not really sure what the aim was.” She continues.
“Oh, that’s easy. I figured I could either get so drunk that mother would ask me to just leave, which would have been preferred. Or, what ended up happening, I get so drunk that I get sick and have to leave.” He fills in the gaps.
Remus is clearly holding back from bursting out laughing at his boyfriend. “You’re kidding right?”
“Oi, don’t make fun of me. I wasn’t smart back then.”
“Just back then?” Sirius promptly smacks his boyfriend’s arm. “I’m just joking, baby. You’re very smart.” Remus lifts one hand to block his mouth from only Sirius and mouths, I’m lying.
“I also got out of dinner because my mother sent me to, in her words, deal with him. Once he was feeling better I snuck him out to get food.” She finishes sharing, and remembers that night much more fondly than she used to.
Everything just continues flowing from there. It’s easy, there isn’t any tension. All they seemed to need was one thing to break the ice, to bridge the gap of then and now, before and after. For Andy, before is where her family exists, they have never been part of the after. Until now. And she couldn’t be happier to have him here and now.
This is just one night, a few hours, but it’s still something. Andromeda means it when she says she isn’t going anywhere now, and she hopes that he won’t go either. There is no way to know for sure what the future holds for them, but she can hope. She can put in the effort. She can try.
As the night grows later and later the group starts to dwindle. First the twins head out because they have somewhere to be early the next morning. Then Marlene makes her leave, but first lets everyone know that it’s because her girlfriend called and wants to see her. To this, Mary, Lily, and Sirius feign offense that she would rather be with her girlfriend than them, but ultimately tell her to have a fun rest of her night. Peter leaves at some point, but Andy doesn’t remember when or why. She might have been in the bathroom when he got up.
This leaves Lily and Mary, who live together so are going to leave at the same time, and then Sirius and Remus. Andy learned that they also live together, and she’s very happy for him to have found someone and to have made a home with someone that loves him. Sitting here with Sirius’ best friends, she partly feels like an outsider. Like she’s just observing his life. But she’s not. Andy is really here with him.
At this thought she smiles. “What are you smiling about?” Lily stops what she was saying to ask.
“Nothing,” Andy lightly shakes her head. She turns and Sirius is already looking at her, also smiling. “I do think I’m going to call it a night though.”
“Are you sure?” Sirius asks, to which she nods. “Okay, yeah. We should probably head home too.”
The two of them exchange numbers to be sure they can see eachother again. They walk out of the pub and are all going in different directions. It’s very dark outside aside from the street lights. Looking up, the sky is cloudy, blocking all of the stars and the moon from view. Nothing of tonight was what Andy expected, but it couldn’t have been any better.
She gets about half a block away in her direction when her phone buzzes. She looks at it and laughs. “Sirius, you didn’t need to text me already, it’s not even been 30 seconds!”
“Just making sure you know you can’t get rid of me now!” He shouts back at her.
Not everything is magically fixed. There are still a lot of things that they need to talk about. And people that are still missing from their lives. But it’s a start. That’s what matters right now.