Chapter 9
Regulus can feel the silence fill the room as he walks in, immediately followed by strange looks and loud whispers from his new classmates. He locked eyes with his brother in the back of the class and felt his confusion and his worry. He asked a billion questions, each of them Regulus had no idea how to answer. Why are you here? Are you okay? How do you know Remus? Regulus answered all his questions with one look, later. Sirius nodded and returned his focus to the blinding grin of his seatmate, James Potter. Who whispers a remark that leads to them both cracking up.
Professor Slughorn just walked in, barely acknowledging Regulus as he turned his glare on the two students snickering in the back row.
“Oh no, I’ve learned my lesson about the two of you.” He says pointedly towards James and Sirius, “Mr. Black, go sit in the empty seat next to Mr. Lupin,” Nodding towards Remus as Sirius whoops and slides into the chair next to him.
“No fair,” James grumbles, “I wanted Moony.” Glaring at Sirius as he sticks his tongue out.
“You’ve doomed me, Professor,” Remus complains as Sirius dramatically falls into his arms blubbering about betrayal, barely hiding his blush.
“Idiots,” Regulus mutters.
“Ah, younger Mr. Black, I see a seat has opened up next to Mr. Potter, he can help catch you up on the curriculum,” Slughorn says, pushing him towards the now empty seat and James’s wide smile, “Although he might need more help than you do.”
“Hey!”
“And now you’ve doomed me,” Regulus says, getting an enraged gasp out of the messy-haired boy.
“Maybe he’ll get into less trouble now,” Slughorn says hopefully.
“I wouldn’t count on it,” James says with a wink before turning to face his new seatmate, “Welcome to potions!” James exclaims.
“I have taken this class before. You do realize I’m just moving up a year, not new to the subject? Right?” Regulus asks, genuinely wondering how dense the boy must be.
James blushed, redness spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. “I know that.” He mumbles.
Regulus just stared at the older boy as he fumbled through his words. “Just show me what page we’re on.”
James promptly shut up and flipped through his textbook struggling to find the page the class was reading.
Looking at the flustered boy, Regulus realizes that there’s something wrong. This isn’t the signature James Potter clumsiness that he likes to pass off as charm. This is something else. Something is bothering the messy-haired boy sitting next to him.
“James,” he asks with concern, “Is everything okay?”
James turned away from Regulus embarrassed.
“James,” Regulus asks, gabbing his shoulder, “What’s wrong?”
James turns back to face him as a single tear spills down his cheek. He’s crying, why is he crying?
“Why are you crying?”
“I- I…” James starts before breaking into a sad smile, “I’m just glad you're okay,” he whispers before turning away.
“You’re such a prick, I thought something was wrong.” He notices James’s shoulders shaking, “Are you laughing? I swear if this is one of your pranks, I’ll-”
Then James faces him again, and he realizes it isn’t laughter, it’s quiet sobs.
“Oh. Oh James,” Regulus says, pulling the older boy into an awkward side hug, “I’m fine, it’s okay.”
James sits up, immediately sobered. “Sorry,” he mumbles.
After a moment of silence, Regulus clears his throat “So, what page are we on?”
James immediately breaks into an in-depth lecture about all that they had worked on this year as well as the end of last. Regulus, ignoring him as he had already taught himself much of the sixth-year curriculum, scanned the room. The desks were set up in pairs with a cauldron in between each pair. Students sat quietly with quills in hand, jotting down notes from the theory lesson that was currently going on. Slughorn stood at the front of the room, lecturing about who knows what. Regulus knew that nothing he was saying would help them with their practical lesson tomorrow, the professor just liked to hear himself speak.
Looking around, Reg caught the eye of someone he’d been meaning to talk to. He hadn’t seen his best mate Dorcas Medows since before the holiday. Dorcas had been his friend since Regulus could remember, the Medows were a proud pureblood family, although their daughter didn’t support their beliefs. She was the only openly gay person he knew. Which, in turn, got her disowned by her parents and left to live with Pandora.
Most of the wizarding world had no qualms about who you fancied or married. But the worst of the pureblood families (i.e. his own) didn’t approve of same-sex relationships. They only cared about continuing the bloodline, not about the people that were part of the family.
Dorcas sent him a concerned look. She had heard about the events that occurred earlier today and needed reassurance he was all right. He nodded and her look of relief comforted him.
“What about Barty?” She mouths.
Regulus could feel his heart drop to his stomach, he had forgotten about Barty, his dearest friend who was still in the infirmary. His head started to pound and his thoughts became fuzzy. He looked around the room for something, someone to stabilize his racing mind. He looked at Dorcas’s concerned face, James, as he continued to talk, oblivious to Regulus’s panic. Then to a new face, turned toward him with a sinister sneer.
Snape.
He was the cause of this. He hurt his friend and Regulus was helpless. He crucio'd him. This was all his-
No. It wasn’t Snape’s fault. It was his own.
How could he have let his guard down? He was never safe from the other Slytherins when he was an heir. The tormenting and bullying he received was just enough to hurt, but not enough to deserve the wrath of the terrifying Walburga Black. Now, without the invisible protection of the Black family name, he, and everyone he loved, was at risk.
His mask slowly started to slip away as his face dropped into an expression of fear and panic his mind started to scramble, trying to come o]up with a way to keep his friends safe. He hears a familiar warm voice call him from his side.
“Reg, are you okay?”
How long was he stuck in his own head? The class had been dismissed and the room was mostly empty, a few stragglers were on their way out the door. Only James and his friends remained. Regulus had been too lost in his thoughts to process Slughorn’s dismissal, even their professor had left the room. Leaving just the five boys alone.
James looks down at him, eyes full of worry and care. Regulus stares back at him softening.
No.
He could not be seen as weak; he couldn’t let these Gryffindors be a source of comfort. Being friends with them gave him more scrutiny than he ever needed. He would become weaker, be seen as weaker, an easy person to take out anger on. And by extension, so would his friends. He couldn’t put a target on his or his friend’s back any longer. He stares at James, his gaze hardening. He had to get rid of this overly courageous new group of friends.
“Don’t call me that,” he says quietly, “And get away from me.”
“What?” James asks softly, a bit hurt.
“DON’T TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN!” He yells, looking over at the three other boys who were left in the room, “ANY OF YOU!” he tells the marauders. “Don’t become more of a nuisance than you already are.”
And with that, Regulus storms out of the room, away from the stunned faces of the four boys, and right into the waiting arms of Dorcas.
“You made quite a scene in there,” she comments. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
James stood in shock as he walked Regulus storm out of the room.
“He didn’t mean it, right?” James asks no one in particular.
Sirius glanced out the doorway where his brother had just fled, preparing to go after him, “No, of course not. Maybe if I go talk to him-“
Remus grabs his friend’s shoulder before he can follow his brother into the hallway. “Let him go, it’s been a rough day for him. He needs space”
Sirius began to protest, but Moony gave him a look and he shut up.
“Speaking of the younger Black,” Peter said walking around to look at Remus, “how do you know him so well?”
Sirius’s eyes lit up “Yeah,” he agrees, “You two were so close over break.”
Remus sighed, “Sirius, you know how your mother made both you and Reg illegal animagi.”
Sirius nodded, confused about where this was going until James gasped.
“That was him!” he said, eyes full of shock.
Remus nodded.
“Wait,” Sirius said, “I’m confused, who was Reggie?”
“Well,” Remus swallowed, “After-“
“After the incident third year,” James interjects, knowing how uncomfortable the topic makes Moony, “Moons didn’t want us going with him during the full, but Wormy and I got worried, so we snuck down to see him and well-“
“You saw a black fuzzy cat with him,” Sirius finished, now fully realizing what had happened, “Reg-“
“He had known for a while,” Remus cuts him off, “He noticed the patterns of my disappearances and figured it out by himself. He confronted me about it one day in the library but didn’t threaten me or say I was a monster. He was more curious. We would talk now and then or study together, but- but when he heard we were umm, fighting, he offered to help me.” He takes a deep breath, "That's why he can't tell McGonagall that Snape used an unforgivable, he's trying to protect me."
You could hear the quiet in the room like someone had cast a silencing spell.
James looked at his two friends, Sirius standing shocked and Remus tried to decipher whether he was angry or not.
Suddenly, Sirius begins to laugh, “Oh Remus,” he says, relief clear on his face, “I knew there was some good in him after all.” Tears streamed down his face as he pulled Remus into a hug and gestured for the other two Marauders to join him, they hugged and laughed and strolled out of the classroom in a line, arms thrown over one another, Regulus momently forgotten.
Except he wasn’t, his words rang in the back of James’s mind, all the way back to their dorms.