Out,
On Our Own
Dreaming In A World That We Both Know
Is Out
Of Our Control
But If Shit Hits The Fan, We’re Not Alone
He should have been home by now. James paced back and forth across the floor of their kitchen. Why wasn’t he home yet? Glancing at the clock, James tried to calm himself down. It was only 15 minutes past when Regulus was supposed to be back from the mission, he was probably just running late. Wasn’t that what Dorcas had thought? But now Marlene was gone. And Regulus was always on time.
Cause You’ve Got Me And You Know
That I’ve Got You And I Know
'Calming breaths', James thought, 'In and out. Regulus can take care of himself.' James ran over the plan again in his mind. Step One- walk to the lake with Regulus. Step Two- enjoy dinner. Step Three- as they get up to leave, take out the ring. Step Four- propose. Over and over James ran the words through his head, trying to calm his nerves.
If The Tide Takes California
I’m So Glad I Got To Hold Ya
And If The Sky Falls
From Heaven Above
Oh I Know I Had The Best Time
Falling Into Love
Suddenly, a silver phoenix slipped in through the open window. A patronus. Dumbledore’s patronus. The bird's mouth opened and Dumbledore’s voice rang through the room.
“Sirius, Lily, and I are on our way to yours. We come bearing sad news. Be prepared”
Terror filled James’ body. What if… no. No, Regulus was alive. He would come back, and they would eat dinner, read, and fall asleep together. But no matter how hard James’ tried to convince himself that everything was going to be okay, and the only bad news was that the mission failed, a part of him knew.
We’ve Been Living On A Fault Line
And For A While You Were All Mine
I’ve Spent A Lifetime Giving You My Heart
Swear That I’ll Be Yours Forever Til Forever Falls Apart
Til Forever Falls Apar
The door burst open and they walked in. Sirius, Lily, and Dumbledore. Looking at them, James saw the body in Sirius’ arms.
“Table” James cracked out “put him on the table”
Sirius gently laid the boy's body on the kitchen table. James walked over and finally looked at him. Gently picking up the boy's hand James’ voice cracked as he asked “Reggie? Sunshine? Are you there?”
Regulus didn’t move.
So This Is It
That’s How It Ends
I Guess There’s Nothing More Romantic Than Dying With Your Friends
And I’m Not Sorry
For Myself
I Wouldn’t Want To Spend A Minute Loving Anybody Else
“He’s alive right?” James said frantically “Right?” He turned to Sirius “He’s alive right?”
Sirius put his arms around James. “I’m sorry Jamie. He’s gone”
“No,” James said “No he’s not. People don’t just die like that. You- you get a warning. Or a sign. Or-”
“Jamie. He’s gone”
Cause You’ve Got Me And You Know
That I’ve Got You And I Know
Gone. He was gone. Just like that. Because life is so short. James started shaking.
If The Tide Takes California
I’m So Glad I Got To Hold Ya
And If The Sky Falls
From Heaven Above
Oh I Know I Had The Best Time
Falling Into Love
They’d always known they were on borrowed time. There was a war. They knew the risks. They knew it might not be forever. But they never thought they’d be right.
We’ve Been Living On A Fault Line
And For A While You Were All Mine
I’ve Spent A Lifetime Giving You My Heart
Swear That I’ll Be Yours Forever Till Forever Falls Apart
“Leave,” James said, numb inside “Please just leave”.
“Jamie I don’t know if that’s the best idea right now,” Lily said softly “Based on how close you were-”
“OUT” James yelled, needing to be alone.
“Come on Lily,” Sirius said, wrapping an arm around Lily’s shoulders, “I think Prongs needs to be alone right now”
Till Forever Falls Apart
We Never Had It From The Start
Till Death Do Us Part
“No,” James said calmly looking at Dumbledore, shaking even harder now “Not you. I want to talk to you”
Lily and Sirius looked at each other warily, Regulus’ body in Sirius’ arms. Shrugging and agreeing that this wasn’t something they should be there for, Sirius and Lily apparated away. They’d be back later to assess the damage.
James pushed himself up from the table and stalked towards Dumbledore “You” he whispered calmly, still shaking “You said you’d watch him. You said you’d make sure he was okay. YOU” James shouted “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIM ALIVE. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.” James backed Dumbledore into a corner “It should’ve been you on that table. You should be dead. Not him. I’m done with this. I’m done with you,” opening the door with magic James said his final declaration “Get the fuck out of my house”
If The Tide Takes California
I’m So Glad I Got To Know Ya
And If The Sky Falls
From Heaven Above
Oh I Know I Had The Best Time
Falling Into Love
James sat at the table long after everyone had left, a cold mug of tea in his hands. A scream bubbled up in his throat, ripping from his lungs. Throwing the mug against the wall, James fell onto the floor, sobs wracking his body. Cold. Regulus had been so cold. And as still as the water he drowned in.
Marlene. Dorcas. Fabian. Gideon. Benjy. All dead, all dead. Rocking back and forth, head pressed into his knees, eyes squinched shut, James’ mind raced. 'Your fault, your fault, your fault, you didn’t try hard enough to keep me home, you knew it was dangerous for me on those missions, why didn’t you say anything?' Regulus’ voice asked in his mind 'What’re you so afraid of?' At least he knew the answer to the last one.
Heart shattered, James fell asleep on the floor.
We’ve Been Living On A Fault Line
And For A While You Were All Mine
I Spent A Lifetime Giving You My Heart
Swear That I’ll Be Yours Forever Till Forever Falls Apart
An open casket burial. It was tradition they said. It’s what Regulus would have wanted they said. He always loved tradition. Tears fell from James’ eyes and dripped onto the velvet lining the box. He gently brushed the hair out of Regulus’ closed eyes. James reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.
“I was gonna give this to you,” he said quietly, looking down “but I guess it’s too late”. He opened the box. “I was gonna ask you to marry me” James’ voice thickened “I had the whole thing planned. I was gonna take you to the lake because I know how much you love -loved- swimming” he let out a bitter laugh “What a way to go I guess. Anyway,” James slipped the ring onto Regulus’ finger “I love you Reggie. Always”.
James pressed a kiss on Regulus’ forehead and walked back to his seat as Sirius stepped on stage for the eulogy.
A/N I know Sirius seems really detached but it's just shock/being strong for James