Chapter 3
After a shower, Regulus, looking significantly more alive, cheeks tinged red rather than the deathly pale they'd been minutes prior. James brushed his still dripping curls from his eyes, kissing his forehead for what seemed like the thousandth time, but Regulus still closed his eyes against the touch.
"If you believe anything, believe that I won't go away," James murmured, dropping his head onto Regulus's shoulder.
"Don't stay if I'm bad for you. Jamie please-"
"Reg, I'm here. I love you even at your darkest. I love you even when you convince yourself you don't deserve it. You know... you were maybe the first person to ever tell me I deserved to be held as much as I held everyone else. You were definitely the first to ever yell at the others on my behalf for letting me convince them I never needed the same attention I gave them. You were the one who held me when I broke. That it's okay to be completely miserable sometimes-"
"James..." his voice was nothing more than a breath as his eyes welled up yet again.
"Let me take care of you, I can take everything you taught me and show you the other side of the coin. I can. Just tell me how you need to be loved right now," James's words came out in a desperate rush. Regulus offered a tiny, crooked smile, tugging James's arms, leading him back to the bed, pulling James down with him as he collapses into the mattress.
"My mother showed up at the shop," Regulus starts, "I was in a bad state to begin with but seeing her didn't help matters."
"Did she... did she say anything to you?" James tranced stars with his fingertips on Regulus's ribcage.
Regulus huffed out a humorless laugh, "oh she said a lot. Most of it doesn't deserve to be repeated, just the ramblings of a mad woman. I just, I hate that I care. I hate her for what she did to us. But I also love her. She's my mother. I played her stupid game. I followed her rules, no matter how often they changed. I tried to be good..."
"Regulus look at me, Love," James cupped his chin gently, kissing away the tears, "You are good. She abused you. You survived her."
"Why couldn't she love me? What did I do wrong?" Regulus's voice broke.
"Baby you never did anything wrong; you were a child. There was nothing you could have possibly done to have deserved to be treated the way you were. She is the one in the wrong. Not you. Not Sirius. You were just kids trying your best to survive." James whispered, petting his hair and pulling him closer.
"She said I should have died. That I, I, I break everything I touch and was always a burden on Sirius. So, I would be doing everyone a favor if I just-" he stuttered, gasping around choked back sobs, shoving James away and scrambling upright, clawing at his chest and neck.
"Woah hey," James said taking his hands gently in his own, breathing slow, deep breaths, "she's full of shit. No hey, look at me. She doesn't know anything about you other than that you love Sirius. If she knew you at all, she would know how bright you are. You treat the world around you with such gentleness it makes me question why I was ever afraid of anything here. I know it comes from a place of refusing to be yet another person to hurt anything the way you've been hurt, but it makes the people around you look at the life around us differently, a bit kinder. As for Sirius, you know your brother. He runs headfirst into danger without a second thought. You learned to survive that house by adapting to it. He fought back until he couldn't. Then he found you both a safe place to run to."
Regulus stared at him wide eyed, speechless.
"You deserve to live. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be safe and loved. The best thing you could be is not strong, it's exactly who you are, one of my favorite people. You are kind and loving. Even stars need reminders Reg."
"Thank you," Regulus breathed.
"Come here, Lovely." James said, flopping back and holding his arms open. Regulus laughed softly, a small but genuine smile gracing his features as he all but threw himself into James who wrapped his arms around him tightly, smothering him in kisses and murmurings of sweet nothings and reassurances long after Regulus's breath evened out and he melted into the touch.