Beautiful boy (Wolfstar) [ENG]

November 6th, 1981

“Guys, look! It’s snowing!” James said loudly while drawing the blinds and letting the white brilliance of the snow fill the room. “C’mon wake up!”

It was the Christmas holidays from their 6th year, and Sirius and Remus went to James’s house to spend them with their friend, as long as both of them didn’t have anywhere else to go and staying in Hogwarts alone another year sounded boring.

Now both of them were wrapped around a questionable amount of sheets, Sirius hiding his face between Remus chest and the mattress, letting out a groan because of the sudden light, and the other one covering his eyes with his hands.

They could be even naked, but James didn't care. It was snowing, for the love of Merlin.

“It has snowed almost every day of every Christmas holiday you’ve experienced in your life, Prongs. And each time you act like a little kid.”

“And it's eight in the morning, please have mercy for once.” Sirius added, letting his hands ramble on Remus body, like they had done for almost a year now. With the same amount of love and softness each time.

“But it’s not that early, and it's snowing! Oh, stop acting like old dudes, you’ll have time to sleep and snog later. Padfoot, come on!” 

Sirius looked up to see Remus' face, smiling with that Black’s smile that made his insides flutter. Fuck, he thought; he was so in love. If there wasn't any James almost dying just to play in the snow, he would have kissed each part of Sirius body like his mouth was a brush and his lover was a work of art that had to get done.

But for better or worse, instead of having a lovely morning of kisses and cuddling in the warmth of the sheets, whispering words in each other's ear that made them blush like the madly in love teenagers in love they were, they spent it in the freezing cold, throwing snowballs with Peter, making snowmens, turning the snow into any object, laughing and waiting hungry for the best lunch that they would ever have for a long time.

Remus opened his eyes wide as the sound of an irritable crying filled his ears. He got up from bed, trying not to fall as it was still night and giving a last look to the one who was also sleeping next to him in his dreamy memories, not wanting to wake him up. 

“Hey, hey, uncle Moony is here.” He talked softly to Harry, picking him up in his arms to rock him slightly, sitting in the bed. “Did you have a nightmare, sweetheart?... Oh, well, that clearly doesn’t smell like a nightmare.”

“Lumos”. He went up the stairs to the provisional room for Harry that they had in their house to change the baby’s diapers that smelled horribly, while whispering funny idiot things to Harry, trying to calm him successfully.

While he was doing with extreme caution and care such an important task, Remus couldn’t stop thinking about the last evening, when he first saw Harry after a long time.

The first thing he realised when he saw the toddler was that scar up in his forehead. It was fresh and deep; At least they had something in common. Remus would give him the courage to love that mark as he was familiar with the feeling. Then he looked at those green eyes, that made a huge contrast with his tanned skin. Just like Lily’s; They could show you a whole new universe just by looking at them. And not to mention his energy, that definitely inherited from his father, and that tireless smile.

Would he be like The Marauders in Hogwarts? Always doing pranks, one of the most popular in the school? Would he be a Griffindor? Of course, he thought; he was Harry Potter Evans. The last names gave him that kind of thing.

Would he have a happy life? Could Remus make him happy, and protect him from all the dangers that were going to come in life? Could he be a good father, without having even experienced the love of one? Would he miss his parents? Of course. But, having all the weight of being the one who not just survived Voldemort, but defeated him? And what would he think about werewolves? Would he trust him, once he knew the monster Remus was? 

He started thinking over the worst case scenarios. Harry scared of him, the little Harry who was in front of him being changed while sleeping, with almost a smile on his face. 

Was it fair to let that poor baby have the risk to live with a werewolf?

Remus kept fighting those thoughts for the rest of the night, holding tight to Sirius' waist, feeling his heart beating fast and trying to make it stop, but without being able to do it.

“Hey, Moony.” Sirius whispered as Remus felt his grip too strong. “Are you okay?”

He turned around to face his boyfriend, kissing him softly on the lips and holding with both of his hands Remus’s cheeks.

“Just a nightmare.” He lied, wrapping his hand around Sirius' body, resting his face on his chest. If he had to categorise what he dreamed that night (or more what he remembered), he wouldn't even think of that word. “I’m sorry I woke you up, you must be tired.”

“It’s okay. I can now enjoy a few minutes without that little monster around us” They both grinned, to stay a few minutes in silence, just looking at each other and caressing their bodies. 

Remus felt Sirius going down to have his mouth on his left ear. “Do you remember last winter, when Harry was six months old? It was the last time we all met. Harry kept crying and we all spent the whole day trying to make him laugh. Prongs and I would play with him,  Marlene, Lily and you would make up a whole story that ended in the most stupid way. Mary sang to him and Peter and Dorcas would make strange animal sounds, but the only time he stopped crying was at dinner time, when we played him a Vinyl of David Bowie.” He laughed calmly, “I can remember it like it was yesterday. Eyes wide open, just interested in the music that came out from the turntable. It made me think that we had something in common, and even if I had loved him since the day he was born, at that moment I knew for sure that no matter what I would be there to watch him grow. Even if it looks scary, I’m sure it’ll be worth it. And he will love us, no matter what. Because we are his family, Moony. Nothing is going to change that.” Sirius kissed the corner of his mouth, almost reading Remus' mind.

“But what will we do on full moons? What if he hates me? I may be his family, but I’m also a werewolf. I… I don’t want to hurt him.”

“And why would you? If you don't give him reasons, he won't even think about hating you just because of you being a werewolf. You haven’t touched anyone in all these years of being it. You are not going to do it now, and much less being the one we are talking about Harry.”

“I know, I guess I just let my mind run over those stupid thoughts. Don’t mind me.”

“Don’t say that they are just stupid thoughts. I mean, they are, but don't think that you don't deserve to talk about them. I love when I can help you like you do with me.”

“Well, talking about that…” Remus felt the chest of Sirius filling up to snort tiredly. “You must talk with Regulus. He is also your family, and thanks to him you are here now. He may have done things wrong, but you have to understand him. You, more than anyone, have to understand it. And forgive him.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it. And don’t take me wrong, I was thinking about that from the beginning. I just… I didn't want to see him yesterday. I couldn't, really. It was too much for one day. But I promise I will.”

“Ok.” He shortly replied, to start kissing Sirius' lovely wrists and continuing on his arms, chest, neck and face while his lover closed his eyes letting him do whatever he wanted; following the desire he once had on that Christmas holiday morning, almost five years ago.

…

They spent the day taking Harry for a walk and buying the necessary things for the kid, discussing if they should buy a new home for Harry to grow up as that tiny flat in London wasn’t enough for the three of them.

“He was living literally in the countryside, Sirius.” Remus kept talking as he was putting the food that he thought Harry had to eat in the shopping cart. “And it would be easier in the full moons. I know you love London but it’s for the best.”

“Oh, but Moony.” He complained as he let the baby in his hands use his finger instead of the pacifier he didn’t have at the moment. “London is cool. How will we ever meet Bowie if we live in fucking nowhere?” Before he kept talking, Remus murmured Muffliato while doing an almost unnoticeable movement with the wand on his pocket. “Okay, yes, it was fun and that when we were there for Christmas at Prong’s house, but day after day for forever? What about our social life? Now that Mary is living practically next to us, and don't you forget about Regulus. The ministry of magic is here, not there, and we should also start working. They will have us in mind if we ask for a job there. I don’t really enjoy that idea, don't get me wrong, I would love to be free of that.But I don't want to keep living from my dead uncle’s money all my life.”

“But we really need more space. We don't even have a room for Harry. He’s not going to keep sleeping in our room forever. He is almost two now and I don’t think that’s healthy for him.”

“Jesus, Moony. You just want a room for Harry so you can finally use your dick without the feeling of being observed, do you?” Sirius laughed as he received a strong punch from a flustered Remus who proceeded to roll his eyes. “Okay, okay. I think we could use the penthouse above ours, even if it has been abandoned for decades because of the supposed ‘ghost’ that lives in there. Or we could just move to a bigger flat, is not that big of a deal.”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

“But not outside of London!” Sirius complained like a child at the same time that he slipped a bar of chocolate in the shopping cart, feeling Remus' strong gaze almost touching his soul and not wanting to confront him. His boyfriend would love to eat that later, even if it didn’t really look like that at that moment. 

“You are actually worse than Harry. Think about it.” The werewolf started talking while his hands followed what he said, like a conductor would do with an orchestra, but instead of a baton, holding two different types of cereals. “You could have a room full of whatever you want: Guitars, vinyls, or quidditch equipment. We could have a bigger garden for you two to play, and we could have a pet. I’m sure this little buddy would love it. “He referred to the kid in Sirius's arms, leaving one of the boxes and stopping his movements just to stroke his head softly as both of them smiled. “We would go to the ministry of magic or any other place by the chimney, and well… Mary could come to visit us anytime she wanted as we would have a bigger dining room. Regulus could come too, even if I see it impossible. We could go two to his house.”

“The Black’s family old house? You are dreaming if you think that I’m going there ever again. We could have that here too. Maybe not a huge garden with a lot of plants to drive you crazy while we play quidditch, but we could have a cosy little duplex. A red brick chimney, between two bookshelves filled with those you prefer.” Both of them started to daydream. “A sofa where the three of us could have dinner at fridays. We could have that stupid box that talks if you like. We could go to the fields on weekends, maybe to the beach, and when it’s full moon, leave Harry with Mary or with Frank Longbottom or the Weasleys.  Two other rooms, one of our own and another for Harry. A bathroom for each, and a studio to work or just to mess around. Not too big, not too small, more like our vibes, rather than a big cold house inaccessible for everyone.”

“Well… I could… I could think about it.” Remus answered, liking the idea but not wanting to give Sirius the pleasure of it.

“You love the idea, my lovely Moony.” The black-haired young man looked to both sides of the corridor before kissing his cheeks twice. “You can lie to yourself, but not me. Not to us, right, Little Prongs Junior? He could never.” He turned his head to talk to Harry with a high pitched voice, like a puppet.

“Shut up.” Remus smiled at the view, noticing how the kid’s laugh was probably one of the very best sounds he ever heard.

Just like his parentslaugh.

He looked to Sirius eyes who greeted him with love and happiness, probably thinking the same as him and keeping that little and special moment of a family for later memories on his life.