Recovery Time
Just as Lily and Mary promised, they stayed with Regulus and James throughout the rest of the week. Lily had no potions to brew; Mary used the kitchen to bake any goods she needed for her bakery. Remus and Sirius went back to their little cottage to recuperate on their own after a day or two. Remus, after letting it sink in, realized just what Sirius did and started to worry all over again when they got home.
Sirius sat on their sofa in their living room, letting his boyfriend pace in front of him. “What if he actually goes to the Aurors Padfoot! They could find out! You could get in trouble!” he ranted.
“They won't find out mon chéri, it's not like they’ll force me to take Veritaserum or root inside my head for it. His family won't put pressure for anything to happen anyway”.
That didn't seem to ease any of the werewolf's worries from the look on his face. Sirius got up and put a hand on either side of Remus’s head. “I promise nothing will happen Remus, I swear” he said before placing a soft kiss on Remus lips. Remus's sighed and put his hands over Sirius’.
“You shouldn't have done it in the first place…” he said leaning his head on Sirius’ shoulder, going to wrap his arms around the dog Animagus’ waist. “He deserved it” he said firmly, breathing in Remus’s scent, letting it calm him. Neither said anymore, just holding each other and taking comfort from the other. back with the rest of the little group, Regulus got a letter back from all three of the people he owled a few days later during lunch in the sunroom. “Who did you owl?” Lily asked as she lounged in the seat next to her wife, Hadrian in the highchair next to James who looked very tired.
“Pandora, Barty and Professor Riddle.” he replied, opening Pandora's letter.
Dear Reggie,
I'm sad to say I'm not very surprised. The boy had always had an obsession for the wrong family. I hope Sirius gave him a good thrashing for saying such things. Give my regards to the rest of the marauders and their family. Xenophilius has said he would have no problems posting something about such slander from Pettigrew if you wish it. Just let me know if there is something specific you want to say if you do want to. And please don't shut your emotions out.
On a happier note, Hadrian might have a new playmate soon. We have found out I'm expecting. I do hope Hadrian and our little one will get along. Give Hadrian a big hug from his favorite aunty.
With love
Pandora Lovegood
It was short, sweet, and elegant, just how Pandora likes to make it. Regulus snickered at her proposal. Regulus grinned, raising up the letter, “Pandora is having a baby. She doesn't mention how long she is. She says to give her regards to all of you and to give Hadrian a hug from his favorite aunt.” Mary made an offended noise. “And she did give an interesting proposal from her husband Xenophilius; he said he would be willing to post something about Pettigrew slandering us or whatever we would want to say.”
James perked up, looking at Regulus. “Well, I'll run it by Moony and Padfoot and see what they say” he started stretching his arms up. “Regulus made a noise of acknowledgement, inwardly laughing at Mary ranting about how she was going to be the favorite.
Regulus saved Tom's letter for last and opened Barty’s. He could see little smudges in the text like his ill-tempered friend was pushing down too hard.
Reg,
How dare that half-witted little git for saying such things! If I ever see that cowardly little arse I'll give him more than a few punches.
I'll hurt him so bad his own worthless family of rats won't recognize him! Tell your lion of a husband to not blame himself, like he is no doubt doing. I swear he's so predictable, more so than a normal lion and I'm not even in front of him and I still know he feels guilty for some bloody reason.
Peter is more of a coward then Pettigrew’s usually are, I'm actually surprised he got into Gryffindor. Pettigrew’s attach themselves to people they think are powerful, kind of like Malfoys. You can see how much of a tosser he is by going back to his family with his tail between his legs. A little bit of information I dug up. The Black twit duo are the ones that were able to get him that promotion at the ministry to an overseer of his own little team at civil affairs.
I'll see what I can do to ruin his chances of going any higher in the ministry. I hope you aren't holding back your own emotions for the sake of those around you. You did that throughout school any time that Icarus Nott prat spewed blood supremacy nonsense. You almost murdered him in 6th year.
I mean I have my views, but Merlin forbids someone challenge Icarus on his own, at least I can have a debate. I feel bad for any children that prat has. Back to my point.
Don't lock your emotions away Regulus, I know how you are. Let yourself relax and everything sink in ok?
Anyways back on to something else because if I think about the rat anymore I'll start hunting him down. Pandora said she's having a baby. I hope it's a girl. Three of you. Cissy, Lady Alice, and you and James had boys!
Yours truly
Barty
Regulus smiled fondly at his friend's letters. He took a deep breath. Both of them mentioned him bottling up his emotions. He shook his head, he’ll take their advice but not right now, maybe later when he was alone with James. “Barty is as angry as I thought he would be. He said my parents are the one that got him that promotion at work. He said he would do something to prevent him from going any higher. Also-” he looked at James who Regulus had no doubt was blaming himself. “He said that even without looking at you, he knows you're blaming yourself” the deer Animagus rolled his eyes.
“I sometimes wonder how he's always able to read people so well, it was like he was reading our minds in school” Lily spoke up...
“Well, being raised by an egotistical father that names you after themselves and tries to make you everything they couldn't tends to do that to you” Regulus said it like it was normal but Mary and Lily seemed to go a little pale.
James noticed and snickered. “Sorry, something like Barty’s case is pretty normal for most families that subscribe to the blood supremacy tosh.” Regulus seemed to realize what he said was kind of short after what James said.
“Sorry ladies, I sometimes forget you weren't raised fully in the wizarding world” he said sheepishly. Before either woman could answer, Tiny appeared. “Sorry masters for Tinys interruption but the time for little master's nap is now” She said while floating the tired looking baby into her arms. “Ok thank you for reminding us” James said with a smile.
Tiny left the room to take Hadria to his crib. Mary laid her head on Lily’s lap, her legs hung over the arm of the love seat. “I'm gonna take you forgetting we were raised primarily in the muggle world as a compliment” Mary said and Lily giggled.
Regulus’ cheeks turned pink. “Anyways he also had many insults for Pettigrew. Him being more cowardly than his own family among them. He also hopes Pandora’s baby is a girl since three of us in the family have had boys” that got them all laughing a little, James seemed to be feeling better.
Regulus picked up the last letter and took a deep breath. His mentor had a tendency to be very harsh to people he dislikes or doesn't know…well harsh was an understatement.
Dear Regulus,
Don't let anything Mr. Pettigrew said get to you or any of your family. If he thinks he'll amount to anything, he is delusional. The Pettigrew family is barely holding on to its title as a noble family, there not even an ancient noble family.
Rest assured that with your friend Lord Bartemius’ help he will never have a stable standing in the Minitstery, let alone the rest of the wizarding world. And once your pathetic excuses for parents drop dead there is a proposition I would like to ask you and Sirius.
But that will be another time. I'm coming back from my trip to Romania and will still have a few days before the next term starts back up. I would like to visit you and the rest of your family. I would also like to see Hadrian. I have a few gifts as well for some of you.
I did have a gift for Mr. Pettigrew but I'll just burn that one if none of you want it. Speaking of Pettigrew's, I have also owled them as well, about their second sons recent actively. If you have any ideas of publications other than the daily prophet I can talk to about making an article, that would be appreciative. I will hopefully see you at the end of this week if you are willing to have me as a guest.
All the best,
Tom
Regulus let out a long sigh. “Tom is scheming again. And he's fuming.” Regulus grimaced. It was never good when their old Professor schemed. Lily groaned as Regulus continued. “Though out of coincidence he wanted some place other than the Daily Prophet to publish an article. No doubt about the Pettigrew's from him saying earlier in the letter that he had owled Peter's parents.” Mary let out a bark of a laugh. “I guess we can leave it up to Professor Riddle to handle our revenge, he always seems downright blood thirsty when he gets to do that sort of stuff” James said, cracking a mischievous smile.
“He also said he would like to visit for a day or two before term starts back up. He's coming back from Romania at the end of the week and has gifts. He said he had one for Pettigrew but would burn it if none of us wanted it.”
Regulus shook his head at his surrogate fathers actions. He's always been fiercely protective of him and Sirius after he found out about their home life. He was never able to adopt them officially but during school time he became a sort of role model for Regulus and Sirius followed suit.
He sometimes wondered what life would have been like if Tom would have been able to take him and his big brother home, take them away from the spiteful people he called parents. Regulus shook his head. He shouldn't be thinking about the past.
Later on, Regulus sent out his replies, letting Pandora know Professor Riddle might have an idea of what to post and letting Tom know he can come to visit. And making sure Barty wouldn't punch Peter in the face if he saw him at the Ministry.
That night James and Regulus had time to themselves after dinner in their bedroom. “I know what Barty said is true in his letter. I know you better than he does as well. I know you think it's your fault Peter doesn't think he has a different choice other than his blood family.” James couldn't meet Regulus’ eyes.
“Yeah, well I know that they told you not to bottle up your feelings because you think other people's emotions are more important than your own” James fired back.
Regulus just raised an eyebrow at his husband. “Well then we both have issues” Regulus walked closer to James and held his hand, leading him to sit down on the bed.
Regulus lifted James' head with a finger under his chin to look up at the still standing Regulus. “We just need to work on it” James sighed and hid his face in Regulus’ stomach, keeping Regulus where he was with an arm around his waist.
“If I try to stop feeling so guilty over Peter you have to tell me how you're feeling,” James compromised. Regulus chuckled while he played with James’ hair.
“You drive a hard bargain mon coeur” James groaned into his stomach. James could never handle it when Regulus or Sirius used a foreign language on him.
“Ok…I know that I can't control another person's actions…but I still feel like I could have done something that might have made him feel more included…” He confessed.
“You included him as much as Peter let you include him James. You were always dragging him around like a puppy and talking to him about your recent interest. Remus always made sure to help him with homework. Sirius seemed to be obsessed with trying to get him on a broom. You guys were inseparable in school, it was hard enough to get you in a corner to snog without Sirius following you or Peter. The poor boy caught us so many times”
James laughed and hummed as Regulus messaged his head. Regulus smiled, planting a kiss on top of his head. “You can’t blame yourself if you did everything to prevent it without knowing” he finished.
“Yeah…I can understand that but…it just doesn't seem like it was enough to get Peter to stay…” his voice cracked. Regulus was about to say more but James lifted his head to look up at Regulus.
“Enough of that, it's your turn. Im attempting to not feel guilty now you gotta tell me how you feel” Regulus grumbled under his breath and backed away from James, said man whining at the loss of closeness. Regulus sat down next to James.
James linked his fingers with Regulus’, giving him time to put his thoughts together. After a long moment Regulus puffed out a breath, deciding to fall back into bed. “I guess…I just…I know the rat hurt you all horribly and I feel like mine in comparison is a little daft next to you…so I just don't see the need to really acknowledge it…” Regulus said slowly, trying to find the right words to explain it.
James stayed sitting up right for a moment, thinking. James knew how Regulus dealt with his emotions and knew it was unhealthy, he was always trying to find ways to help his lover. James finally sat back and turned to prop himself on his elbow to look at Regulus who was pointedly looking at the ceiling.
“No matter how small you think your feelings on the matter are, they are still valid. You were hurt as well, even if you think it's small next to the rest of us. You still knew him and he betrayed you by proxy to us, you have a right to feel angry just as much as we do. Darling you have always felt this need to take care of others feelings instead of your own. You're angry for your friends, you're hurt for me, you get sad because Lily gets sad. You seem to take everyone else's feelings into account except your own.” James forced Regulus to turn his head, whose eyes were glassy. “Never think you need to hide your emotions with me, because I think they're beautiful. I will never demean you or your feelings and thoughts because I value you. I value everything you are because in my eyes you're perfect” James told Regulus softly, rubbing a thumb over his cheek gently.
Regulus’ lip trembled, he drew closer and hid his face in James' chest. He had never heard those words out right. He knew his brother loved him and that his friend cared for him, that Tom thought he was smart. But Hearing those words come out of James’ mouth made something inside him tremble.
The giant maw that his parents left in him, making him feel unloved and unwanted. That his emotions will never be as important as there's, that his only use was to do what they wanted. That maw became the tiniest bit smaller and it felt like Regulus could lift the world for those he loved, and for himself.