too little too late
There was something up with James recently. None of his friends seemed to notice, but Regulus did.
He seemed a bit more withdrawn than usual, his smile a bit more forced, and a lot skinnier than he should be, not matter how many times he said it was quidditch, although he couldn't think of a reason as to why, so he did what he always did when he needed to think and went up to the astronomy tower.
It was after curfew, so most people would be asleep, Regulus only being allowed out because he was a prefect. It was the perfect place to go, quiet, dark and cool, and best of all, no one there.
But tonight there was someone there.
Someone standing on the edge.
Regulus froze. His mind was racing through his options. If he tried to touch them they could fall off, if he talked to them he might scare them, maybe he could use a spell to float them down but what if-
He saw the person bend there knees like they were going to jump
“DON'T” he yelled, quickly casting the levitation charm so the figure hovered in the air before Regulus set him down.
“Turn round” he said quietly, the student still facing away from him.
When he did Regulus felt his blood chill.
James.
His James.
He just tried to jump off the tower. Merlin, James just tried to jump off the tower.
“Please tell me you were just testing some weird invention of yours” he pleaded hopefully, although he knew in his heart it wasn't true.
James just shook his head with tears streaming down his face
“I'm sorry” he whispered.
“What happened?” Regulus questioned cautiously, wondering what could've driven sunshine incarnate James Potter to the edge, seemingly literally and mentally.
“Nothing!” he burst out.
“Nothing happened! But that's half the problem. I have such a great life so what right do I have to be feeling like this? You, Sirius, hell all my friends would have a valid reason to be like this but I don't! I have loving parents, money and good friends, a great boyfriend, so why do I feel so suffocated yet empty all the time? I don't deserve you guys I really don't, so just let m-”
“Promise you won't” Regulus said, cutting him off. His mind was reeling, trying to process all this new information, trying to understand. But he knew James, and this was the best way to help him.
“Reg, I don't t-”
“Promise James. Or else I'm telling your mother, and I'm telling Sirius. Think what would this do to them, what would it do to me?”
Regulus knew guilt tripping was a low blow, but appealing to James's want to keep the people he cared about happy was the only thing that might work.
”Promise, please.” he begged him
He could see the war of emotions on the other boy's face. They stood there some time before he finally let out a breath and wiped his face with his sleeve.
“Okay Regulus. I promise.”
He felt relief wash over him as he stepped forward, enveloping his shaking boyfriend in a hug.
“Don't you ever scare me like that again” he said into his hair. “Now let's go, you're shaking.
They walked back through the castle, quietly as to not disturb anyone at the late hour until they got to where James tried to turn off to the Gryffindor common room.
“Don't even think about it” Regulus hissed, pulling him down another corridor.
“You're staying with me tonight”
James followed without protest, probably understanding his need to keep James near him after what had just happened.
As they lay next to each other, he held on to him tight, thinking about how close he was to losing him, he wouldn't, he decided. Even if it meant following him around for the rest of the year, Regulus would not let James leave him.
He was suddenly being shaken awake frantically. He was going to kill whoeve-
“James?” he mumbled, still half asleep.
“Yes, Reggie it's James he's- he's in the hospital wing” the face above him blubbered.
That woke him up.
“What happened” he asked, the face, which he now recognised as Sirius,Maybe he fell off his broom or something dumb like that, maybe it wasn't what he thought.
But there was no way it was a coincidence. He was up and heading towards the hospital wing instantly.
“They-They found him on the grounds by the lake, said he must've jump-”. Sirius didn't finish his sentence, dissolving into sobs.
“Is he alive?”
Regulus had to know.
“For about another hour” his brother sobbed.
Regulus started running.
He burst into the hospital wing, instantly making his way to a banged up, bruised and barely breathing James.
There was a crowd of his friends around the bed in various states of distress, but they all moved away so Regulus could take his limp hand in his as he knelt beside his bed.
Half an hour later
“Is the nothing you can do to save him?” Regulus was aware he was yelling.
Madam Pomfrey shook her head sadly, her eyes filling.
”please you have to” he wept
“You have about a minute left to say your goodbyes” she she choked out before leaving the room.
Everyone else had already left, each completed their tearful farewells, Sirius in particular completely inconsolable, Marlene too as a childhood friend of James's.
“I would've done anything to keep you happy you know” he started, through the tears. “I guess you are now though. I wouldn't want you to suffer. Madam Pomfrey says you aren't in pain which is good. She doesn't know if you can hear me, but if you can just know I'll miss you, so much. But I'm not mad. Never at you, anyways.” He was struggling to speak now.
“I'm so sorry you had to break your promise. I love you”
Madam Pomfrey returned to find Regulus a complete wreck, holding tight to the hand of the boy beside him, like it would keep him right there, but who could no longer hold it back.