Breaking Point
Wednesday the 1st of September 1976
The Great Hall is filled with whispers and wide eyes, and it set her teeth on edge, made her hunch over her food.
Of course, she had expected it. When you have a school full of gossips and people eager for drama, then anything of interest is going to take over. It was just she had been naive enough to assume that people would get over it on the train and instead focus on the sorting or the back-to-school feast.
But not even Dumbledore’s words or the new students sat at their tables, a slightly bigger year than the past years, could distract them from whispering and looking her way.
“I heard she saw him…”
“Her dad went and…
“The Potters are just…”
“Don’t listen to them.” James whispered beside her, his hand reaching out to touch her own. Hermione nodded her head, but she couldn’t help but cast a few glances towards the other tables, bowing her head further to cover her face.
The food before her looked dull, her fork in her hand pushing around the mash and veg, as James sighed beside her. She didn’t spare him a glance as she brought the tiniest bite to her mouth, it might as well be cold gruel for the way her face scrunched up in disgust and her fork landed back on her plate with a slight rattle.
If they weren’t watching her before then they’re watching her now. Still, it didn’t stop her from reaching up to cradle the side of her head in an attempt to ease the oncoming headache, fingers brushing over the still healing cut and sending a nerve shrieking pain through her.
It wasn’t normal, she was aware of that. It wasn’t like a dark mark or a cursed scar, but there was something comforting through the pain, like a part of her could finally understand...what it would be like for someone else to go through this, a constant ache in a scar and not a complete understanding of why or how to block it out...not that she was even sure why she needed to understand something like that, but it brought a level of comfort that she clearly needed.
“Do you think she got it when she burst him out?” Like she had been shocked, her hand dropped from her head and her shoulders tensed.
“Merlin, they’re all such dicks.” Brown eyes met silver, where he sat across from her, staring down the table in disgust, his own food barely touched though much more than her own. There were bags under his eyes and his hair, while still beautiful, was messier than usual.
Hermione kept her eyes on him as he reached inside his robe, pulling out a silver flask and shaking it with glinting eyes, one hand reaching for his cup only to have James snatch it away with a glare. “Mate, really?”
Sirius glared back before a small smirk took over his face and he untwisted the cap of the flask. “You do realise that I will drink this with or without some pumpkin juice to water it down, don’t you?” As if to prove a point he raised the flask to his lips rapidly and took a sip.
Hermione watched transfixed as a drop of amber liquid slid over his lip, caught by his tongue before he grinned widely. Her stomach turned as he took another sip before placing the flask back inside his robes – no one said anything, their eyes struggling to stay in one place and their mouths all pursed.
It wasn’t like this hadn’t been a long time coming or that it was anything new – alcohol just seemed to be the new thing that Sirius clung onto to get through the days, like a crutch that helped when his eyes stayed transfixed on his scars a little too long, when the pitying looks and constant checking on him were overdone, or when the nightmares came knocking.
She had seen this look before, though she couldn’t remember on who, perhaps it was just herself – but it was dark and sad, eyes constantly flickering towards the Slytherin table where the only other person who could understand sat avoiding his own brothers' eye.
It made Hermione want to walk over, to pull up Regulus’ sleeves and check his own arms for scars, to see if stubbing his toe or banging his shin would send a wash of pain down his body and leave the faint tingles from the memory of the cruciatus curse.
Not that Sirius ever admitted that that was what was happening but somehow Hermione understood, could almost feel the phantom pain as she scratched her left arm.
“So...erm...is everyone excited for classes tomorrow?” Lily asked after a second, their group turning to look at her with raised eyebrows as a pretty pink flooded her cheeks and her chin jutted out defiantly. “I mean...we are now going to be officially studying for N.E.W.Ts...isn’t that exciting?” Her grinned widened but it seemed forced.
Remus seemed to take sympathy as he nodded his heads. “I’m just glad I don’t have to continue with potions but I do look forward to Defence and Ancient Runes, did you hear that…”
“You know I think it kind of makes you look a bit dangerous.” Remus stopped speaking, a frown on his face as Sirius stared at Hermione, pointing to the hand that was raising to touch her cut once again. “It’s kind of hot too...obviously if you factor out the way you got it.” He carried on speaking, picking up a small carrot with his fingers and throwing it into his mouth.
“Erm...thank you?” Hermione questioned lowly, dropping her hand and shrugging her shoulders as Sirius continued to keep staring at her with those swirling silver eyes, a smirk appearing on his face.
“Though if you want a rumour as to how you got it, you could just go with mine.” Hermione frowned again as James rolled his eyes and Remus’ lips turned up slightly. “If anyone asks how I got my own scars then I’m telling them I fought a werewolf...I expect it to get me a lot of -”
“You’re disgusting.” Lily bit out before he could finish, shaking her head but there was a slight amusement in her eyes as she quickly looked to Remus.
“What? I was going to say sympathy.”
“Considering that no one would see them unless you took your shirt off -”
“I see where your argument is going, Lil’, but can I just remind you that most of this school has seen Sirius without a shirt – he takes it off every time he is drunk.” Marlene added with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile as James rolled his eyes.
“You’re welcome.” Sirius added with a wink.
“Yes because seeing your pale skinny torse has been the highlight of my Hogwarts career.” Marlene deadpanned as Remus snorted over his tea and Lily grinned in amusement.
“Well I knew that, I think it’s a bit rude to point that out in front of James or the other half of Hogwarts that you have seen naked.” Hermione rolled her eyes as she poked at her food, ignoring Sirius and Marlene as they bickered and James glared at them.
Her eyes moved down the Gryffindor table, lips pursing as she noticed eyes turning to look at her before heads bowed together and whispering continued – much the same at every other table except for three people. Regulus and Snape seemed content to sit beside each other in silence, ignoring whatever their housemates were saying, and Edith…
The blonde seemed more focused on reading a book as she ate small bits of pie, stormy eyes rolling momentarily at whatever the boy beside her was saying before focusing on the words in her book. She didn’t seem to care what gossip was being said or want to partake in the rumours.
Yet as she looked up, those cat like eyes meeting Hermione’s own, a small confused smile taking over her face just enough to show the dimples in her cheeks, Hermione couldn’t help but frown and turn away, stabbing at her food with a slight new anger.
Something about the girl got under her skin.
You know why. A voice that wasn’t too different from her own, though felt both unfamiliar and familiar, whispered softly.
Her head snapped up, meeting Sirius’ gaze for a second before she dropped it with slightly blushing cheeks. No, she wasn’t going to get into that – they were just old feelings that lingered, didn’t mean they were true now.
“...they basically told me not to come back.”
“Welcome to the club.” Hermione tuned back in as Sirius opened his arms wide and turned to Marlene, a small frown marring her beautiful golden face, as he quickly reached into his pocket and pulled his flask back out, wiggling it before her. “We meet on a daily basis to discuss disappointing our evil families and then we get pissed.”
“Put that away.” Lily hissed, reaching over the table from her space beside Hermione to shove the flask back down before the teachers could see.
“Not that I’m against drinking away problems, but I think it would seem kind of pathetic if it’s just the pair of us.” Marlene answered, though her eyes moved down to his robes as the flask slipped away and Sirius pouted at his food. “And none of this would have happened if two...three -” Her eyes moved over to Lily who shrugged her shoulders. “ - hadn’t been so against my plan.”
“It was a stupid idea, Mar.” Hermione bit out, pushing away her plate as dessert took over, her usual favourite chocolate cake not looking very exciting but instead only serving to sour her stomach.
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Yes it was.” James added as he reached for some treacle tart, stopping for a second to look at Hermione with a frown before placing it on her now empty plate. “Come on, we’ll share it.” He didn’t wait for her response as he took two forks and stuck them into the pastry, raising an eyebrow as she glared at him.
“What plan?” Sirius asked with a frown, mouth moving around whatever he was eating as Hermione took a small bite of her own dessert and scrunched up her nose. Too sweet.
“Oh she didn’t tell you?” James asked with raised eyebrows as Marlene frowned, shaking her head across the table at James, who ignored her and grinned. “Mar was planning on ‘fake’ snogging your brother.”
Sirius’ eyes went wide as he choked on his bite, all but spraying the other side of the table with crumbs and spit, not that he cared as he turned to Marlene. “What!”
“What have I ever done to you?” Marlene spat across the table as Sirius continued to stare at her, waiting for her answer. A small laugh left her mouth as she held up her hands and shook her head. “Not like that...I just...well we’ve spoke a couple of times and I just needed someone to get my parents off my back.”
“And that was who you went for?”
“Well no because I never did it...I told him that he didn’t have to do it and that I would just tell my parents that I wasn’t marrying anyone until I was ready...which ended badly and with them basically saying bye and don’t come back.” Marlene explained rapidly, her eyes becoming wider as Remus and Sirius stared at her in shock.
“He agreed?” Remus asked softly, turning to look at Sirius who frowned, seeming more confused than before as he turned to look at the Slytherin table with the rest of them.
Like he could sense he had six people watching him, Regulus looked up, looking much more put together, if not slightly tired and now worried about why they were watching him. His dark eyebrows rose above his bright blue eyes and his mouth opened in a slight question that had them all turning away.
Sirius turned back to Marlene, still frowning. “Are you and him...are you…” Hermione blushed as he made a gesture with his hands and Marlene spluttered.
“No!” Several people turned to look as her face turned redder than a Weasley. “It’s not like that – he’s a friend and beside that...he’s fifteen!” Sirius narrowed his eyes but a small smirk appeared on his face as he nodded his head.
“Good, because you deserve better than someone who is going to spend his time licking Moldyshorts toes.” He spoke softly, turning back to his food as Marlene looked at him in wonder.
Hermione sighed, it was a difficult situation, one that most of them had avoided over the summer, and one that had her stomach turning every time Sirius looked at her as though she had made a mistake. He was happy to be out but sad that she had left his brother behind, she didn’t have to be a mind reader or have a conversation to know that.
And now Regulus was stuck with his family and no way out, about to join one of the most dangerous and evil wizards because he wanted his brother safe. Because he thought he could handle it.
Yet something about it made her feel sick, the itch in her head growing stronger, tempting her to scratch the wall and find answers behind it. To find out why there was a sinking guilt when she looked at him, why it felt like everyday they grew closer and closer towards something she should have stopped.
Almost as if he knew, James tugged on her hand and gave her a sad smile, shaking his head slightly and gesturing towards the tart.
“Nice scar, Potter – did someone finally knock you off your pedestal?” Merlin, life just seemed cruel – it was bad enough that everyone was muttering about her but now she had to face Emmeline Vance in front of the whole Great Hall.
The summer seemed to have suited her well, her coppery skin darker and her deep blues standing out even more as she flicked her dark hair over her shoulder and gave Hermione an expected look. It was annoyed – for someone so pretty to be so bitchy.
Jenny Brown nodded beside her, looking equally bitchy. “Maybe she got it from her daddy – I heard he had a temper.” A snicker left her mouth followed by a yelp as Hermione stood up, placing her hands on the table.
She smiled sweetly, looking between the pair and ignoring the eyes watching them. “Whatever gossip you are looking for here, isn’t going to be found.” Her words were calm even as her eyes narrowed. “But let me remind both of you that we share the same dorm, and that if either of you keeps running your mouth – it won’t be daddy’s temper that you’ll need to worry about but mine.” She added another sweet smile before sitting down.
“Merlin, it was just a joke, Potter.” Brown bit out but her cheeks were flushing and she refused to meet Hermione’s eye, as Emmeline looked at her questionably.
“Well when you tell one that is unrelated to murders and abuse, and is actually funny, then I’ll make sure I laugh...until then, just keep them to yourself.” Hermione spoke sweetly, another smile and a tilt of her head to tell them to move on. Both girls frowned but moved along to the entrance door, whispering to each other.
It was then Hermione realised that everyone else in the hall had started to leave, the first years following behind the fifth year Prefects, taking in the sights as the rest of the school sent her last glances.
Fucking great.
…
Thursday the 2nd of September 1976
“Ah, here you all are.” McGonagall greeted them as they walked into the Great Hall, the tables full of students, some looking like they wanted to be anywhere else and others excited to start their first day back.
Hermione rested in the middle, far too tired to even want to go to class and in need of some kind of distraction that would hopefully come in the form of tougher classes.
“Good morning, Minnie.” Sirius leered, raising his eyebrow as McGonagall turned to give him a stern look.
“It is time to decide your schedule for the year, remember as your N.E.W.Ts will be coming up this is an important year.” McGonagall all but scolded them, moving to hold her parchment straighter in her arm. “Miss Potter as you received outstanding in all ten of your O.W.Ls, you are accepted into each class.”
Hermione cleared her throat before she could move on to the next person. “Professor, I personally think trying to achieve ten N.E.W.Ts would be rather difficult, especially considering everything – so I would like to drop Care of Magical Creatures, History of Magic and Astronomy.” The group stared at her – it must have been a shocking sight. “Lily and I would be interested in taking up Alchemy.”
Lily nodded her head in agreenace as McGonagall raised her eyebrows. “That will have to be discussed later, I will have to make sure we have enough students – but very well.” She nodded her head before turning to Lily. “Miss Evans, you also qualify for everything, mainly O’s, but if you wish to continue with Transfiguration and Defence then I will ask you try and work harder as E’s are generally considered a lower level.”
Lily nodded her head and smiled. “Of course Professor, though like Hermione I would like to consider dropping Astronomy, History and Muggle Studies.”
“I suspect that was a rather easy O for you.” McGonagall spoke amused with a smile, moving her wand and hanging Hermione and Lily their matching schedules, not a class apart it seemed. Perfect. “Lupin…”
“I know I only have an E in Transfiguration but I’m willing to work hard – and considering my scores in History, Potions and Divination, I have no problem dropping them and also Astronomy and Creatures.” Remus listed off as McGonagall nodded her head.
“That’s only six N.E.W.Ts, while a poor in potions isn’t unacceptable, an E in Creatures and Astronomy is – you could…”
“It isn’t going to make much difference to me getting a job.” Remus pointed out as McGonagall nodded her head with a sad sigh and turned to the other three.
“And the three who want to be Auror’s, Miss McKinnon you first – surprisingly the only thing you failed was History with a T, you even qualify for Divination with your A, the rest are E’s and two O’s.” She seemed impressed even as Marlene scoffed and furrowed her brow, almost slightly offended that she could get such get such good marks.
“I – erm – I’m dropping Creatures, Muggle studies and Divination.”
“All your electives, even though you received an O in Muggle Studies?”
“Considering one of my best friends is Muggleborn, it’s not that surprising, and I’d really like to focus on my core subjects to have a better chance at getting in Auror training.” Hermione turned her head to look at Marlene in surprise but the girl remained focused on McGonagall, face stern and icy eyes slightly blank.
“Right – well here you go.” McGonagall sighed out as she handed over the schedule, turning slightly to face the last two boys. “Mr Black, Mr Potter, pretty much the same results, the Black has an O in Astronomy and Muggle Studies, and Potter in charms, the rest remain O’s and E’s, though you both did dreadful in History and poor in Divination – which classes would you -”
“Everything but Astronomy, Divination and History, for the both of us.” James spoke first, a small smile on his face as he held out his hand for their schedules while Sirius shuffled beside him.
“You’re trying for seven N.E.W.Ts, very well – it will look good if you can pass them all for the Auror office, same for you Miss McKinnon.” Another sigh and then she clapped her hands. “Very well, now off to breakfast and class, this isn’t the time to be hanging around – and you two -” She pointed to Lily and Hermione as she spoke. “I will let you know if Alchemy will continue.”
...
Thursday the 9th of September 1976
Hermione had taken to hiding away.
Not that it was hard to do. Lily was focused on getting back into the flow of being back at school, spending her days reading ahead and finishing assignments. Marlene was following around her younger brother, Mickey, who had joined last year in some attempt for him to get their family to talk to her.
James and Sirius were back focusing on Quidditch and pranks, or drinking in Sirius case while James did his best to do everything he could to be Quidditch Captain next year. And Remus...well Remus had spent his first week feeling more tired with every passing day before the moon struck the night before.
She had been a good friend, stopped by to deliver notes and chocolates the moment class ended but as soon as he opened his mouth to ask about her she had gone with claims of homework and other important things.
It was just easier to hide in the library.
Hidden between bookcases, all but curled up in a ball on the window ledge with her books and parchment on her lap, trying her best to avoid the few glances and whispers. It was better than being around it 24/7. And she could stay late, come after classes with a pastry she had stolen from lunch, and be back in the her dorm by the time everyone was asleep.
Though she wondered how long that would last when her brother realised she had stolen the cloak and map. Two items that never failed to make her smile fondly and her brain begin to itch.
It was how she sat now, by the window, cloak by her side with the map open and hidden from view so she could keep an eye out, though her dinner of an apple and her latest Arithmancy book was far more interesting.
“...meeting next week.” Her back straightened and her hand was on the cloak in an instant as the sound of whispered voices drifted closer, a low voice that she knew too well and wouldn’t take too kindly to her eavesdropping.
A wipe of black waves and pale skin appeared at the end of the aisle as she threw the cloak over her head, pushing her books out of the way and hoping they looked like someone had just left them there and would be back.
“But why does he want me there?”
“Don’t be stupid, Black, you know why.” As soon as Snape spoke, Regulus came into view, frowning at Snape. Hermione cringed under the cloak, trying to stay as silent as she could while also looking for the right time to sneak away.
“I didn’t think it would be this soon.” Regulus hissed, his face turning even paler and his hands shaking, scared of whatever they were speaking about.
“You’re marked aren’t you, you agreed over the summer after the Potter whore helped your bastard brother get out.” Hermione felt herself tense, it wasn’t like she couldn’t have guessed that it might have happened but she had just assumed it hadn’t.
“Don’t talk about them like that, Severus.” Regulus snapped. She had completely ignored the insult, knowing Snape couldn’t mention her without having some kind of issue.
“Oh did I hurt your feelings?” Snape’s sneer was cruel, and despite being the same size, it was almost like he was looming over the younger boy. “You know there’s no room for that – you choose to be in, now be in.” His hand reached out to tug on Regulus’ sleeve, a small smile curving his mouth as Regulus pulled his arm back and curled it to his chest.
“I am!” Regulus shouted a touch too loud, both boys looking around to make sure no one came over. “But…”
“But what, Black?”
“But just because you blew it with Evans doesn’t mean I have to give anything.”
Snape stood for a second, staring at the boy, black eyes glinting as he sneered viciously. “Getting rid of that Mudblood -” Hermione and Regulus both flinched at the word, even Snape looked guilty for a second. “ - was the best thing I did...you’ll feel the same Black, once you drop the weights that are your brother and his lot.” He spun dramatically, robes spinning with him as he stormed from the library, leaving Regulus at the end of the aisle.
Hermione let out a quiet sigh, looking down at the map and spotting no one else but a couple of people at the tables, too far away to hear, before she slipped off the cloak.
“Hermione?” Regulus turned, hissing out the words as he stepped further into the safety of the bookcases, eyes darting around like there could be people hiding on the bookshelves. She almost wanted to remind him that he should have done that five minutes ago. “Were you...what did you hear?”
Her tongue came out to wet her lips and her head tilted to the side as she balled up the cloak. “He’s right, you know.”
His bright blue eyes flickered with slight hurt as he straightened his back. “I don’t know what you’re -”
“You wanted this – you all but begged me to get Sirius out of the house – and you’ve taken the mark...a rushed job, I’m guessing?” It wasn’t a question but her eyes flickered to his arm, hidden by robes and a jumper, he flinched and moved to cover it like she could see through fabric. “The night Sirius escaped?”
His thin lipped, white face was enough to answer her and so she nodded her head, swinging her legs off the windowsill and scoping up her books, the map and her bags as she walked towards him.
A closer look left her see everything she might have missed, bags under his eyes and a slightly unkempt appearance, it almost made her want to be sick. Wasn’t she part of the reason he was going through this? Though she doubted he would have listened if she had made more of an attempt to get him out.
Instead she had sent him away and told him to stay. The fault rested on both of them, it seemed.
“He doesn’t hate you.” Her voice was a whisper as someone cough and Regulus looked so much younger than he was. “I don’t hate you – you did what you thought was right, but now…”
“But now I have to toss you all aside?” He added with a scoff, looking at her like he wanted her to disagree.
“Yes.” His eyes widened and he gulped slightly. “If you want to keep yourself and Sirius safe then the best thing you can do is fall inline – he’ll know if you’re not fully with him.” Regulus flinched again and his eyes almost seemed watery but Hermione continued. “Let that Slytherin self-preservation kick in and keep yourself safe and I’ll keep Sirius safe.”
A shaky sigh left his mouth as he shook his head. “I just – I thought I had a bit more time.”
Normally he would have, a couple more months before he turned sixteen and was called home at Christmas – but his parents had probably be slighted, by a couple of teens and Alphard, and now he paid the price.
“Now or then wouldn’t have made a difference, you know that.” Hermione mumbled as she moved past him slightly, patting his shoulder gently.
They stared at each other for a second as Regulus calmed himself, the familiar Black mask sliding over his features and making him look like a pompous arse, her hand tingled like it itched to reach out and slap the look away. “Night, Potter.”
“Goodnight, Regulus.” She whispered back as he moved around her, hands clenched at his side. “One last thing -” He stopped to turn and look at her with a frown. “ - when I say toss us away, I mean all of us – I won’t let her be dragged into this.” A frown took over his face before understanding and a slightly crestfallen look that was replaced with a scoff.
“Whatever.”
It felt cruel to do but this would be better, for all of them. It would make things easier and keep Regulus safe, that’s all she had to tell herself, even as her stomach clenched like she had just sent him into the Snake Pit with the worst possible advice.
...
Monday the 13th of September 1976
The days passed and Hermione couldn’t help but watch Regulus and Snape out of the corner of her eye on the days she braved the whispers to eat something for dinner.
Her friends had thought she was getting better, trying to take care of herself, which frankly she didn’t understand. It wasn’t like she had let herself go, she showered, dressed and did her hair, she wasn’t shy about spraying her perfume or going to class. She just didn’t want to be sat with people who were guessing every part of her life.
And it wasn’t like it was getting easier.
Whispers had turned to full blown conversations and rumours had turned to just straight up asking what happened and running away when she glared at them. Didn’t they have anything better to focus on? Wasn’t there a couple breaking up or something happening on the outside?
The only reprieve she seemed to have was Ancient Runes, the class far more focused on what the teacher was teaching and not turning around to stare at her as she sat in the back of the small class with Lily and Remus.
“...Elder Futhark drifted in Younger Futhark, and branches started breaking off, we got into...”
“So about your birthday…” Hermione rolled her eyes to the back of her head as Lily whispered beside her, quill scratching across her parchment without her even looking.
“There’s nothing to say about my birthday.” Hermione muttered back, but her eyes were more focused on the desk before them, so much so that she didn’t hear the next thing Lily whispered to her.
Like at her own desk, there sat three people, two Ravenclaws standing out by the blue lining of their robes and a single Slytherin, who Hermione was pretty sure was a Greengrass, but she wasn’t quite sure, nor did she care to find out.
It was the two Ravenclaws she was more focused on, the messy of blond waves and curls, the stormy blue eyes that turned to her fellow Ravenclaw and frowned, her elbow reached out to elbow the Ravenclaw boy who had turned to cast Hermione a quick glance.
“Just leave it alone, Stebbins.” Edith’s northern twang echoed in Hermione’s ear, as those eyes turned to look at her for another second and turned away.
“You’ve heard the rumours too.” Stebbins muttered, leaning closer towards the girl and ignoring the Slytherin girl that scoffed and shook her head, staring at the teacher but clearly paying attention to her desk mates.
Hermione clenched her own desk, a glare on her face and molten lava seeming to bubble under her veins, couldn’t she just have one day where no one spoke about this – where they didn’t need to throw it in her face.
“Maybe if you paid less attention to rumours and spent more time at school then you would have got more than five O.W.Ls.” Edith snaps instead and Hermione blinks as the girl frowned, turning back to her own work with a shake of her head.
“Not all of us have the ability to retain information like a sponge and get ourselves ten.”
“I’m not sure that’s the analogy your looking for, as simply squeezing a sponge would cause all the information to pour out.” It surprising to Hermione how quickly Edith can go from sounding pissed off to humoured, the frown gone and instead replaced by a dimpled smile.
“That’s...that’s beside the point.” Stebbins stuttered, his own pink cheeks turning even pinker, and his own eyes becoming glazed before he shook his head angrily. “I mean how can Dumbledore even let her in here?” He didn’t seem surprised to see her looking at them, as he straightened his back and looked down at Edith.
“Because what happened wasn’t her fault.” Hermione blinked in surprise as Edith defended her.
“But she’s still related to him...you know, I bet she helped petition to get him out.” Stebbins voice raised higher and Remus clutched her arm. “You the Potter’s are loaded, a quick pay off would be all it took.” Edith looked at the boy shocked, even the Slytherin had turned in surprise, dark eyes looking to Hermione and back again.
“Stebbins-”
“And she has relation to the Black’s too, I heard Sirius was staying with them for the summer – and you know how he’s wrapped around her finger…” His eyes looked towards Hermione again as she fumed silently, glaring and daring him to say another word to her. “And what about Pettigrew, I heard his father was in line with all those...”
“Shut the fuck up.” Hermione snapped coldly, as Remus twisted uncomfortably beside her, his old best friend still a sore subject and an unknown one, standing up from her desk and knocking over ink pots with a clatter that had the teacher and students turning to see what was happening.
“Miss Potter!” Hermione ignored the teacher, Babbling, more focused on how Stebbins was staring up at her with a look of defiance that made her blood boil. How dare he assume who she was and what had happened? How dare he bring her family and Sirius into this?
“Hermione, he was just -”
“Being a fucking cunt.”
“That is enough Miss Potter.”
“Not so brave now are you, Stebbins – kneazle got your tongue?”
Stebbins looked around for a second, turning to look at Lily and Remus as though they would help him when both students were more focused on staring coldly at him. He tilted up his chin at her and smirked. “You are aware you are just proving me point, aren’t you, Potter?” He asked as Hermione sneered. “You look just like him...your friends better watch out before you start following in his footsteps...I mean with your mother and -”
Hermione didn’t wait to see what else he was going to say between mumbled quick words, a small laugh on his face, the desk rattled as she moved forward, swinging back her fist and punching the side of his face. There was an audible crack and Stebbins let out a cry, his hand reaching up to hold his nose as blood poured out.
“Hermione!” Lily cried beside her as the Slytherin beside Edith let out a small laugh.
“Miss Potter!” Babbling cried as she rushed forward past the first two lines of desks to look at the students as Stebbins sobbed. “What do you have to say for yourself?” She turned to Hermione who shrugged her shoulders, refusing to feel bad as she glared at the rest of the class.
“That hopefully he’ll be reminded of what happens if he doesn’t keep his mouth shut.” Hermione snapped as Babbling clicked her tongue against her teeth.
“Outside now – I’ll deal with you after class – Gilbert, take Stebbins to Madam Pomfrey.” Hermione rolled her eyes as Edith rushed to deal with the boy, barely touching his arm and grimacing as he tried to cry into her shoulder.
She followed behind them, leaning against the wall and letting a small sigh leave her mouth, as she slipped down to sit on the floor.
It was almost peaceful, the quiet droning of Babbling getting back into her lesson with an edge of annoyance in her voice, the mummers of ghosts further down the hall but for once there was nothing else. No one watching her or judging her, or her family – just peace and quiet.
“Hey.” And it never lasted long as she looked up to see Sirius, dressed casually with his bag over his shoulders and his eyes on her. “What are you doing out here?”
“Punched a Ravenclaw in the face.”
“Ah...is that why Stebbins was crying?” He looks at her amused as he stands by her feet, Hermione couldn’t help the small scoff that left her mouth. So typical that someone couldn’t deal with the consequences of the shitty things they were saying. “You shouldn’t let them get to you.”
Hermione purses her lips as he sits beside her, stretching out his long legs and letting out a sigh. “I don’t need another person telling me to keep my head down and ignore it.”
“Maybe then instead of us telling you, you should listen.” For a second he sounds annoyed at her but she doesn’t trust herself to turn and look at his face. “People are going to talk, and you behaving how you are is just feeding into it.”
“Excuse me?”
“Hiding in the library – barely coming down for food and glaring at everyone – it makes them think you have something to hide.”
“Then what should I do?” Hermione asked bitterly as she let out a small laugh. “Should I be like you, drink away my problems – spend half of my days drunk and in a broom closet with some slag, or should I hex Slytherins and make jokes because I’m too afraid to deal with what my family did to me?”
Silver eyes flashed grey and filled with hurt but Hermione was too angry to care. People spent their time assuming or telling her how she should live, how she should deal instead of focusing on their own fucking problems – because it was easier to focus on her all consuming mess.
“I was just…”
“Sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong – what I do and how I deal with things has nothing to do with you.” Hermione snapped as she stood herself up, standing over him and glaring as he looked up at her. “So why don’t you just -”
“Miss Potter!” Her voice faltered as she turned to see a very annoyed Professor McGonagall marching towards her. “I need to have a word with you – grab your things.” Hermione lets her anger fade away and her eyes wander down to Sirius.
“Yes, Professor.” Her voice is timid, and her gut twists as she knocks on her classroom door, opening it and sticking her head through as the whole class turned to look at her. “Sorry to interrupt Professor Babbling…”
“I told you I would deal with your after class.” Babbling hisses out harshly from where she stands before her board, wand pointed at the Futhark that littered there. A few people chuckle and Hermione feels her cheeks turning red as McGonagall pushes past her to open the door.
“Excuse Babbling, but as the head of Gryffindor house I will be dealing with Miss Potter myself –“ McGonagall snaps slightly as Babbling clicks her tongue, a long finger is pointed in Hermione’s face as McGonagall clicks at her. “Get moving, I haven’t got all day.”
Without second thought she moves further into the room and towards her desk where her books, parchment and bag lay. Lily is staring at her, trying to communicate with her eyes while Remus and Sirius seem to be having some kind of mouthing conversation that includes hand gestures and shaking heads.
A frown and her shoulder barge into Sirius as she leaves the door, catching sight of his gesture, and the way his silver eyes darken slightly, the door banging behind her.
“Let’s go.” McGonagall snapped at Hermione, stopping to look at Sirius as he stood outside the door, “Mr Black – aren’t you supposed to be in Muggle Studies?” His cheeks flushed pink and a small laugh left his mouth as McGonagall narrowed her eyes.
“No, I have a free period.”
“Right well...then you better join us, and we can get all of this out of the way much quicker.”
…
Hermione had only ever been in the office a couple of times, once when she was younger and another time when she had been discussing her O.W.Ls and possible jobs for the future.
It was a small room, reminiscent of the Gryffindor Common Room, with a large fire and a bedroom behind a concealed door. McGonagall sat behind her desk and gestured to the chair before her desk where Hermione sat, placing her bag on the floor.
“Have a biscuit, Potter – you too, Black.” The two stared as they sat across from her, a jar of ginger newts being pushed their way and McGonagall’s stern face staring back and leaving them with no option. She waited until they started eating before she spoke. “Now I am aware that the both of you have being put through the ringer this summer, but that is no excuse for skipping classes and assaulting classmates.”
“Professor -”
“Miss Gilbert told me what happened and I am well aware of what Stebbins did to get that broken nose.” Hermione blinks, broken nose and Edith sticking up for her, it makes her half tempted to laugh. “And I am well aware that you are perhaps struggling with things that most don’t understand.” Hermione grimaces and shakes her head.
She can hear Sirius scoff beside her, but the need to explain herself is stuck in her mind, unable to leave her mouth. It would sound like a lie anyway, most just assume things and ignore what she is actually saying.
McGonagall doesn’t wait for an answer, her head shaking as she continues to speak. “However, I can not condone violence – especially not in a classroom.”
“I just…”
“Have another biscuit.” The tin was shoved under her nose again, her hand reaching for a biscuit before she could stop herself. “The pair of you need to start dealing with what has happened – and yes stand up for yourselves without fists, wands or alcohol involved – you are both nearly adults, you are both on your last two years, and then you will be out in the real world with no one to clean up your messes.” Her green eyes narrowed on Sirius as he blushed again, nodding his head.
Hermione looked away, her foot tapping on the floor and a scoff quietly leaving her mouth. If the past year had taught her anything, it was that she and everyone spent far too much time cleaning up Sirius’ mess – and look at what it had led to.
A fight, a poorly planned rescue mission and a shit ton of trauma that he couldn’t even begin to explain to any of them. Now he was knee deep in whatever ditch he was creating for himself, a bottle of Odgen’s finest in his hand, looking at her as though she was the one who wasn’t dealing right.
Hermione blinked, turning her head to look at the boy as he nodded at whatever McGonagall was saying, silver eyes flashing to her for a quick second as McGonagall coughed. “As for the rumours, there is nothing I can do about that, this school holds more gossips than the Daily Prophet, but may I offer you some advice, Miss Potter?”
Hermione clenched her teeth, looking back at her teacher and debating if she should just tell her no, that she didn’t need or want any advice. “Yes, Professor.”
“People are sheep, they believe what they see and read – so give them a reason to see you, not as Octans Potters daughter, but as you – it may take time and it may not feel worth it for you, but soon they will tire when they realise you no longer care for their opinion, nor that they can relate you to him.” Wouldn’t that be something, just to pretend that nothing was wrong, spend her days smiling at the cruel remarks and laugh at the rumours just in hope that they would give up.
It was stupid and unreasonable, but Hermione tightened her jaw and nodded her head with a mumbled. “Yes, Professor.”
“Good, now that that is sorted, we have the matter of detentions to sort out.” McGonagall sighed as she leaned over her desk, eyes narrowed, a small smile pulling up at the corner of her mouth. “Mr Black, I trust you are familiar with cleaning the Trophy room, I except you to aid Mr Filch at 8pm this evening.” Sirius groaned, leaning forward on his chair.
“Professor – couldn’t I just...help Hagrid inspect his Pumpkins or something less – Filchy.” Sirius pleaded as McGonagall gave him an amused look and shook her head, as she moved to pick up a piece of parchment and a quill, writing something down.
“Miss Potter, I except you here at the same time, to help me this evening with grading first to third year homework, a task that I am sure will take a rather large portion of your evening.” McGonagall spoke as she carried on writing, not even casting a glance at Hermione who frowned. It felt an awful lot like she was having an eye kept on her while she did free labour.
“Not a problem, Professor.”
McGonagall looked up, her eyes on Hermione like she could see through the lie, but she didn’t call her up on it, instead she smiled. “Well then, off to lunch you go.” The two teens stood up, avoiding each others eyes and swinging their bags over their shoulders. “Oh and Black – any more signs of alcohol during the day and while you’re underage, and the school will be forced to take action.”
It was a threat, as clear as day, and yet still nicer than anything Dumbledore had said to her. The words twisted around loopholes, and McGonagall’s eyes gave her away – she didn’t want to hurt Sirius, she didn’t want to threaten him – she wanted him to be safe.
Hermione’s stomach twisted uncomfortably, as she turned, marching past Sirius. A strange envy reaching out to take a hold of her as her teeth gritted together and her eyes stung with tears.