The Biggest Sacrifice

First week of June/Also know as O.W.Ls weeks/ 1976

Hermione had always loved the sound of quills scratching on parchment, the feeling of the sharp tip digging into the thick paper was something else – comforting almost. Like opening a brand new book, or being allowed to touch a book so old that one small nudge would make the whole thing disintegrate – it was a sensation like no other.

But right now the once beloved sound was grating on her nerves and testing her patience. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to put all the fifth year students in one room, for their exams, with the loudest tools was stupid.

Not to mention the half of the students who kept making noises under their breath as they tried to figure out the answers, or were rustling their parchments, or wiping the sweat from their brow as the warm sunshine crept through the high windows and mixed with the immense stress that seemed to fill every space.

Though it seemed to have avoided Snape, who sat before her, greasy and lank hair sticking out like a sore thumb with his head bent so close to the page that Hermione had no doubts his hooked nose was sliding across the parchment that was full of cramped, miniscule writing and hanging off the side of his desk.

For a second she couldn’t help but smile, reminded so much of Hermione Granger – so eager to prove that she knew every aspect of her exams that half of what she had written had no use. A stark comparison to the Hermione Potter who had simply answered the questions as she was supposed to and left it as that, her exam feeling slightly empty.

Brown eyes flicked up again as Snape shook off what was no doubt a hand cramp before going straight back to writing.

“Five more minutes!” Flitwick shouted, Hermione turned away from looking at Snape to instead look at James, a couple of aisles across and further down, his messy black hair sticking out and making him easy to spot, even more so as he sat up straight, placing down his quill so he could read over his exam, something he gave up quickly.

A yawn left his mouth as he rumpled up his hair and turned to look around, meeting her eye quickly as she raised and eyebrow and he shrugged a shoulder, a cheeky grin appearing on his face as he gave her thumbs up.

Rolling her eyes, she looked away, drifting to stare more at the boy sat four seats behind her brother, tilting back on two legs and chewing the end of his quill. There was a lack of ease to his shoulders, tense and unaware of the hopeful girl, behind him eyeing him up – his chair all but slamming to the ground as he landed back on four legs and wrote something on his parchment, long soft hair acting as some kind of curtain.

She looked away quickly as a flash of silver looked her way, moving two seats along from the hopeful girl to find the pale, frowning werewolf that was Remus Lupin, his quill tapping against his chin as he reread his answers with more vigour than her brother, but less energy than Sirius – his full moon tiredness slipping into the etches of his face.

Light green eyes looked up to meet hers, a soft smile on his face sent her way before he was looking back down at his exam and Hermione was turning away, instead staring at the golden head of hair that was Marlene, who seemed to be drifting off on her desk a few spaces before James – and then Lily, who like Snape, seemed to be trying to write as much as she could before their five minutes were up.

Which they seemed to be as Flitwick stood at the head of the desks, his squeaky voice ringing out for all to hear. “Quills down, please! That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!” His wand flicked out, a laugh leaving Hermione’s mouth as Marlene’s elbow slipped out from under her, head smacking against the wood the same time Flitwick fell backwards under the pile of exams.

Icy eyes met her own, a small snort leaving her mouth as she watched a couple of Ravenclaws run to help their professor up. “Fuck you.” Marlene mouthed over the Great Hall, mouth tilting into a small smirk.

“Thank you...thank you.” Flitwick panted out, waving his hand, cheeks flushed. “Very well, everybody, you’re free to go!” Hermione didn’t need to be asked twice, shoving her exam paper and quill into her bag, and heading towards the door – making sure to avoid the group of chattering girls who seemed to think the middle of the Great Hall was the place to speak.

A hiss escaped her mouth as Snape barged past, arm swinging into her own and black eyes turning to glare at James, Sirius and Remus as they walked out together, seeming less awkward than they had a couple of weeks ago. A sneer made it’s way onto his face as he turned to meet eyes with her, surprised for a second, before resuming their usual glare.

“What are you looking at, Potter?”

“I was just wondering how the examiners would be able to read an exam covered in grease.” It was cruel, but she was beyond tired of the scathing looks and comments from him. “I mean, not to be rude, but one would think a sixteen year old would know how to wash their hair.” His lip curled up further and a small smile made it’s way to her face.

“Why you -”

“Afternoon Snape.” Whatever he was going to say died on his tongue the moment Marlene opened her mouth, standing beside Hermione and dragging Lily along with him.

Black eyes met green, a shared sadness and hurt flicking between the pair of them, in a way that Hermione could never understand – but she could understand the tension that stayed with Lily as Snape turned on his heel and stalked away, his head bowed and his foot steps slow as he weaved in and out of groups, not even giving her brother a second glance as he strode not two feet away.

Hermione followed, slower, an alarm ringing in her head as she looked between the four boys, something feeling oddly familiar, like deja vu, except she was 100% sure she had never seen this before.

She watched them, James, Sirius and Remus cutting across the lawn and towards the lake, Snape following behind without seemingly any idea where he was actually going, especially as he pulled out his exam paper to look it over, sitting himself down on the grass near a densely shadowed group of bushes, while her brother and their friends sat by the edge of the lake under a beech tree.

“You coming, Hermione?” Lily asked suddenly, pulling on her hand as Hermione turned her head from her brother and the snitch he suddenly had to the emerald eyed girl who was watching her with concerned eyes.

“Yeah...of course.” Hermione answered back with one last look over her shoulder as she followed her two best friends towards the lake. “How did the exam go?”

“Good I think, though I’m not sure on question -”

“You are being serious, aren’t you?” Marlene asked with a small laugh, leaning back and letting her feet rest in the water, the sun seeming to make her more golden than normal, shining off of her like it did the water and attracting a few looks from students who were studying nearby. “Or is this going to be like the mistake that you think you made in Ancient Runes, because I can’t do another five hours of possibly incorrect answers.” Her voice rose at the end, higher pitch than usual as Lily blushed.

“I just want to do the best I can.” Lily whispered as Marlene rolled over onto her belly, bending her legs behind her and sending a glare to some second year who let out a whistle.

“And you have – probably better than anyone else, so don’t stress about it.”

“We still haven’t completed Transfiguration yet, we all know the struggles I’ve had with vanishing spells, unlike some people.” If bitter was a sound then it would have been Lily’s voice as her eyes drifted to where the boys still sat under the tree, staring forward and muttering small sentences to one another.

“I don’t think you count failing to do it one time as a struggle.” Marlene hit back, a small smile on her face as Lily turned back around and frowned at her.

“I – fine.” A resigning sigh that had Marlene smiling in victory. “I will admit that I am looking forward to the summer after these exams.” Hermione let out a hum of agreement, eyes trailing through the grounds, stopping at a pair of bright blue eyes looking their way.

“Not sure I can say the same, but I do think a bit of relaxing would be good for you.” The eyes shifted to the girl talking beside her, a twist in Hermione’s gut as she turns back to look at Marlene. “You alright, Mi’?” Icy eyes filled with concern slide to look at someone else and Hermione doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is.

“Fine.” Her eyes narrow as she sends as Marlene looks back at her. “Is something going on between you and Regulus?” The question slips out before Hermione can stop it, both girls staring at her with something close to shock.

Marlene’s mouth gapes open like a fish and Lily’s head moves so fast to look between both people in question that no one would be surprised if she ended up with whiplash.

“What – who – Sirius’ brother?” Marlene manages to squeak out, and it would have been believable if her eyes didn’t drift over to the boy in question and her cheeks weren’t even pinker than before. “Why would you even think that?” An awkward laugh slips out at the end.

“You know people who are telling the truth just say no.” Hermione hisses, turning her head once again to look at Regulus, his eyes turning wide and his head bowing almost instantly as she turns back to look at Marlene with a single raised eyebrow and a smirk. “So what’s happening?”

Marlene blushes again and furrows her brow, turning her head away to stare out the lake. “Maybe he’s looking at you.” It’s doubtful but not impossible. “Or he’s trying to spot the Giant Squid.” Marlene’s face is filled with humour.

“Or maybe you’re hiding something.”

“Nope.”

Hermione opens her mouth to respond, shutting it when a group of students run past, eyes wide and focused on something behind the girls that has them all turning around to see what is happening.

It’s not what she wants to see, but it doesn’t surprise her. Sirius, James and Snape stood in a little circle glaring at each other while Remus pretends to read his book, green eyes stuck on one part and a faint frown between his eyebrows – Hermione half expects him to get up and stop it, but she knows he won’t, that he’ll let this happen without interfering.

Lily is up in a second, leaving her bag on the ground and heading towards the growing crowd, Marlene not far behind but Hermione seems to lag, feet moving a small step at a time as she watches James become more and more agitated by whatever Snape is saying – pale face turning into a sneer and black eyes glinting wickedly.

Sirius is moving first, his wand wiping out fast and pointing at the boy, but Snape has the upper hand, a nasty grin on his face like he’s been waiting for this. His lips move and Sirius’ wand is flipping from his hand, leaving Snape to chuckle.

It dies quickly as James moves next, wand flicking as Hermione arrives just in time to hear him shout the spell. “Expelliarmus!” Snape’s wand flies behind him, landing near Hermione’s feet with a soft flood as Sirius lets out a small chuckle.

“Impedimenta.” Hermione watches as Snape is knocked off his feet, halfway towards his wand, eyes on Hermione. A frown makes it way to her face as she watches her brother move closer, his hazel eyes catching her own.

“Don’t give him that.” James mutters to her as she takes a step closer, moving to grip Snape’s wand in her hand, ignoring the guilt in her stomach as she looks sideways at James. The familiar feeling slinks back, her brain trying to pull at a thread that didn’t seem to exist any more – that didn’t seem to fit right with the image she was seeing.

“Why not just leave this alone?” Hermione asks lowly, the students watching, seemingly put off by the siblings talking instead of continuing the fun James seemed to have started. “You’ve got him back for whatever he’s done – leave it at that.” She whispers the last words but James shakes his head.

He looks so serious when his eyes settle back on Snape, but his words are for her. “I’m of him thinking he can run his mouth about the people I care about -” He sends her another look, making her bite back the retort on her tongue. “When you’ve got a second, have a look at the back of Remus’ head.” Hermione’s own head wipes around to where Remus is still sat, one of his hands running over the back of his head with a wince.

“Stinging hex.” Sirius is muttering from her other side, and Hermione can’t help but wince, reaching up to touch her arm where Snape had once gotten her.

Her eyes drift back to Snape as he lets out a growl, breath panting out of him and legs seemingly bound and unable to move. His black eyes fixed between the boys, focusing mainly on James with such hatred that Hermione felt her own anger building, as he hissed. “You fucking wait...you fucking wait, Potter.”

“Wait for what?” Sirius’ voice was cold, eyes glinting like steel in the sun before he smirked and turned to face his crowd. “What’re you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?” The crowd let out a laugh as Sirius barked out his own.

Snape hissed, moving around and spitting out hexes that did nothing, his wand feeling strangely warm in Hermione’s hands as his eyes moved up to look at Hermione. Teeth bared like a rabid dog that had spotted prey. “Give me my wand back, fucking bitch -”

“Wash out your mouth.” James hissed, his wand moving before Hermione could even stop him. “Scourgify!” A sigh leaves her mouth as she turns away at the first sign of pink bubbles and froth leaving the boy’s lips, followed by gagging and coughing as he tries to breath through the soap.

“James, that’s enough.” Hermione hisses at her brother, pulling on his arm. “Please.” His hazel eyes turn on her, confused, but there is something else there – there is always something else there with her brother, another reason to question or do what he wanted to do.

“Did you not hear what he just sa-”

“Leave him alone!” Another sigh leaves her mouth as her eyes close for a second, feeling the way her brother automatically seemed to reach for his messy hair. Lily was glaring, red hair crackling around her shoulders and eyes more furious than a floo fire.

Once James would have bent over backwards, would have given her heart eyes and nodded his head eagerly to please her, then continued when her back was turned, but now he just stares at her coldly, the hurt obvious to anyone who knew him – but evidentially not to Lily. “What do you want, Evans?”

Her mouth opens slightly, green eyes flashing quickly to Hermione who looks away, back towards the crowd where Marlene is frowning and Regulus is lurking along the edges. “I want you to leave him alone.” Her voice is softer now, slightly unsure, as she turns back to James. “What did he even do to you?” His back straightens and his eyes flash.

“Other than insulting and threatening people I care about?” James questions back, raising an eyebrow as Lily opens her mouth to speak, closing it fast and sending a quick look to Snape. “Though I guess they don’t mean that much to you, if you are choosing this piece of scum once again.” Hurt flashes across the redheads face as James turns away.

The crowd watches with wide eyes, whispering to one another. It must be a rare sight to see, for those who haven’t been involved in the group’s dynamic recently, to see James glaring at Lily – to see him step away and to see Lily watch him like she wasn’t quite sure who he was any more – wasn’t quite sure how to deal with a boy who no longer seemed to do everything he could to win her over.

Hermione stepped forward, ready to interrupt, to stop whatever fight seemed to be about to take place between the boys, to pull her brother away when Lily spoke first. “You think you’re so much better?” Voice but a whisper and yet cold as ice. “That as long as you’re defending people then you can be as cruel and arrogant as you want, when reality is that you’re just a bully.”

If her words bother James, then he doesn’t let it show other than a quick clench of his wand and his eyes turning to look at Hermione. “Think what you want, Evans, I honestly don’t care any more.” Despite his words, or the flinch and frown that crosses Lily’s face, he moves away and towards Hermione, pulling Snape’s wand from her grip and throwing it to Snape’s feet as he coughs.

“Potter -”

“Leave it alone, Lily.” Hermione hears Sirius snap at the girl, her hand reaching out to tug on her brothers arm as he clicks his tongue and runs a hand over his face.

It hurts to see the pain behind his eyes, hurts to know her friend put it there. She loves Lily, she does, but James is her brother and her oldest friends mixed into one protective package that is making her want to pull him into her arms to try and ease his aching heart or turn and jinx Lily for even daring to hurt him, even though she understands.

Instead she doesn’t do either, opening her mouth to speak – to send everyone away when Sirius shouts. “Oi!”

The siblings turn to look as Snape stands, wand switching between being pointed at James and Hermione, black eyes glinting and mouth moving. Hermione shuts her eyes against the flash of light, opening them quickly as she feels a few warm spots of liquid hit her face.

James is stood before her, hand gripping his cheek tightly, a deep gash just visible beneath, dark red blood staining his fingers and dripping down his chin. His hand moves quick, another flash and Snape is hanging upside down, his robes falling above his head and his greying underwear on show as his pale legs kicked out.

Her mouth opens, the retort on the tip of her tongue as she thinks about how he should have worn some trousers instead like everyone else. But it dies down as James lets out another hiss, her head turning to take him in.

“We need to get you to Madam Pomfrey.” Her words are whispered but he nods his head, wand still on Snape as the crowd laughs around them.

“Let him down!” Lily is stood before the siblings, glaring between them like it’s both their fault, and James doesn’t think twice before waving his wand and watching as Snape crumples into a heap on the floor, an angry sound leaving his mouth as he attempted to stand back up with his wand.

Hermione let out a deep breath, her own wand in her hand as James moved his hand away to look at the blood there, his cheeks turning pale. With a quick wave over her shoulder she sent Snape kneeling back over and stiff as a board.

“What are you doing?” Lily asked her loudly, her eyes staring at Hermione. “I thought – why would you -”

“Have you seen James’ face?” Hermione asked harshly, pulling on her brothers hand to show the girl, pink cheeks paling at the sight and her emerald eyes going wide as James let out another hiss. “I understand that you don’t like what’s been happening, neither do I, but there is a difference between having your mouth washed out and physically trying to mutate someone.” Her voice grew more agitated as Marlene joined the group.

“It was a reaction.” Lily protested weakly as James let out a scoff, the bleeding having stopped from whatever Marlene was doing, and his colour returning.

Hermione frowned for a second, watching as Regulus slinked through the crowds, eyes on Marlene and her wand movement before she turned back to Lily. “A reaction that could have killed James if it was a couple of inches lower – something I’m sure Snape was aiming to do.” Frozen black eyes gazed back at her and gave her all the answers she needed to know.

“Something that’s not going to happen again.” James hissed out, hand gripping his wand as he glared at Snape.

“Leave him alone.” Lily whispered each word, her wand in her hand and half aimed towards James who eyed it with a frown, letting out another scoff as he shook his head,

“I’m not going to do anything!” James snapped back, pushing his wand back into his sleeve and shaking his head with a wince. “Now get your wand out of my face.” He hissed, pushing her wand away from him with a frown.

“Just – just take the curse off him.” Lily spoke, emerald eyes wide and all but begging as she stared at James, his top teeth digging into his bottom lip as he raised his eyebrows and sent a look to Sirius who was staring at the crowd with a frown.

James let out a deep sigh, nodding his head. “Fine.” His wand waved weakly at Snape and the counter-curse was muttered under his breath, a single glance spared for Lily as Snape struggled to get to his feet. “Try that again, Snape, and it won’t matter whether Evans is here to save you or not -”

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!” It clicked in an instant, the thread her brain had trying to pull on coming forth – the memory Harry had seen in Snape’s penisive, the bully James and Sirius had done. It had been this – but it was different from this – more cruel, more for no reason unlike now.

Except for one thing. A sigh left Hermione’s mouth as she turned to look at Lily, her best friend staring at Snape coolly. “Fine...Don’t worry, I won’t bother in the future.” Snape winced, his mouth opening but Lily was quicker. “And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.” Hermione watched as the boy seemed to slump under the insult, eyes becoming strangely watery.

“Lily -”

“You better apologise, Snape.” James hissed, his wand turned back onto the pleading boy. Lily watched for a second, her eyes moving between the two before she shook her head.

“I don’t want him to apologise – I don’t want you to make him apologise.” Her voice cut through James, his eyebrows scrunching together as he opened his mouth to speak. “You’re honestly just as bad as he is.” James stepped back like he had been slapped.

“I know you’re mad, and to be honest I’m pissed at you too but I would never ever call you a you-know-what.” James spat out, eyes glaring at the girl who he had adored for so long. “How could you even compare -”

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool, showing off with your stupid snitch, walking down corridors hexing anyone who annoys you because you can – I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head of yours.” Lily hissed out every word as James let out a little laugh and clucked his tongue, shaking his head at the girl.

“You done?” Lily’s mouth opened and a small frown appeared, like she expected him to fight back. Like after everything he had been called, everything she had said whether it was two months ago or now hadn’t hurt James. Like she could just get them back to what they were with a few insults.

“You make me sick.” Was the last thing she said, turning on her heel and storming away from them all without a second glance, both Snape and James staring after her.

“What the fuck is her problem?” Hazel eyes turned to Hermione, as though she could answer the question but she had no clue what to even say that would explain the situation with Lily.

It was Sirius who spoke, a small nervous smile on his face as he let out a cough that had James turning to face him with a questioning glance. “Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate.”

James let out a scoff, rubbing his hand across his cheek and wincing, eyes flicking nervously at the crowd that was still watching them. “Reckon she hasn’t been paying attention then -” His back straightened and he glared at a few of the watchers. “Don’t you people have other things to do?” The crowd whispered again, some people slipping away and some staying.

“James -”

“Whatever – can you take me to Madam Pomfrey?” He turned to Hermione, eyes wide as her words died on her lips and she nodded her head, gripping his arm and leading him away from their friends, Snape and the lingering crowd.

…

“Oh for fucks sake.” Hermione hissed out, rolling her eyes as she came to the Fat Lady’s portrait, a plate of food in her hand but her eyes on the boy laying in front of the portrait, his black eyes staring up at the Fat Lady. “What are you doing here?”

Snape turned to look at her, his jaw tensing and eyes glinting madly in the low light. “Go and get Lily for me.”

“No!” Hermione all but shouted, frowning deeply and taking a step towards the portrait hole, letting out a sigh when he blocked her path. “One; get out of my way, and two; why do think I am just going to follow your command and bring Lily out here after what you called her and what you did to James?” She asked with a growl as Snape frowned.

“I asked McDonald but -” Snape cut himself off as Hermione glared at him. “Potter will be fine.” He hissed out, glaring at her now.

“You won’t be if you try anything like that again – I’m not above spilling what hides beneath that sleeve of yours nor am I above hitting back.” The words slipped from her tongue like venom, a sickly sweet smile on his face as he flinched away from her and gripped his robe covered arm.

“What’s happening here?” The pair turned to see Lily as she stepped out of the tunnel, portrait half closed behind her and emerald eyes looking between them.

“Nothing.” Hermione muttered, giving Snape one last look before turning to face her friend. “I’ll leave you two to talk, I’m sure James is wondering -”

“Stay.” Lily spoke suddenly, her hand reaching out to grab Hermione and stop her from going further. “This shouldn’t take long and I think – I need to see James too.” Her eyes met Hermione’s before she sighed. “I owe him an apology.” Snape scoffed but Hermione smiled and nodded her head, leaning against the wall and waiting.

“You don’t owe Potter shi-” Snape began, stopping when Lily rolled her eyes and Hermione let out a quick hiss. His jaw tensed again, black eyes snapping to Hermione and the back to Lily. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not interested.”

“I’m sorry!”

“Save your breath” Lily sighed out, wrapping her arms around her stomach and shaking her head as Hermione blew out a breath. “I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here – which is just stupid.”

“It’s not, I was going to and I will do if -”

“How do you think that will go over if you run into anyone who heard what happened? Or if you run into James, Sirius – even Remus or Marlene?” Snape flinched as though he could see and a small smirk formed on Lily’s face. “How do you think my friends will react to seeing you out here after what you called me?” The words were whispered, slightly cruel and taunting in a way that made Hermione feel slightly bad for the boy.

“I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just – ”

“Slipped out?” Lily asked as Snape nodded his head in agreement. “It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you.” Lily looked towards Hermione who bowed her head in avoidance.

“Because we’ve known each other for years!” Snape defended, moving closer to Lily, his anger falling from his face as she took a step away from him and held out her hand. “Please Lily.” Hermione’s gut twisted as he all but begged. “I didn’t–“ He cut himself off with a shake of his head and a quick gulp, turning to look at Hermione. “Tell her I didn’t mean-”

“She doesn’t need to tell me anything – you did this, Sev.” Lily snapped, her voice raising and Hermione had no doubt people were listening inside the Common Room. “You think I don’t know what’s under your sleeve – that I haven’t known for months or years that you were going to join him the moment you could!” Snape winced again, touching the mark over his sleeve. “I can’t pretend any more. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.”

It was the truth, but watching as Snape’s face fell, as he realised that this truly was the end of his friendship, Hermione couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He had made a mistake, one that had finally cost him after years of Lily defending and coming back to him – even when she said she wouldn’t – and now it was over.

Snape moved forward again, not stopping as Lily moved backwards, his hand reaching out to grab her own and his voice desperate as he spoke. “No – listen, I didn’t mean – ”

“ – to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?” Lily asked, cutting him off before he could continue, pulling her hand softly from his grasp and turning to Hermione. “Let’s go back inside.”

Hermione nodded her head as Lily climbed back through the portrait hole, stopping and turning back to Snape who was gaping at the ground.

Her hand gripped the frame tightly, a small sigh leaving her mouth before she spoke. “There’s still a way to fix this.” Black eyes met hers, eager and wide, before they narrowed as her as drifted to the sleeve of his robes. “That’s the only way she’ll forgive you.” Without dwelling on it, she turned on her heel, letting the frame slam shut behind her and the tunnel enclose her body.

…

“Are you sure this is going to be fine?” Lily asked from outside the boys dormitory, her emerald eyes wide as she turned to face Hermione, the plate of food now in her hands, the pink fingers moving the sandwich to look more neat.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders and reached for the doorknob, a cheeky grin on her face as she began to push the door open, ignoring Lily’s protests. “Not sure, let’s find out – good evening dear brother.”

James looked up with a frown from his bed, a thick paste on his cheek, his glasses askew and a book resting against his bent knees. A painful smile formed on his face as he opened his mouth to stay something, stopping when he caught sight of Lily over his sister’s shoulders.

“Where are Remus and Sirius?” Hermione asked, ignoring her brother to sit on Remus’ bed, bouncing up and down and grinning when she found an opened chocolate bar under his pillow. “He has more of these, right?” James sent her a quick look, nodding his head in agreement and watching as she snapped off a piece and popped it into her mouth.

“They went somewhere – I didn’t ask.” His voice was monotone as Lily stepped further into room, the plate clutched tightly in her hands. “What is -”

“I’m sorry.” Lily mumbled, holding out the plate to James who just frowned at her like she was speaking another language. “I said some horrible shit, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“Which time?”

“James -”

“I mean stuffs been spewing out of your mouth for the past five years – I need specifics.” James remarked dryly, closing his book and leaning back onto his pillows with a raised eyebrow that had Lily’s jaw tensing and her eyes flashing dangerously.

“You know what I – actually, no.” “You have been an arrogant dick for the past five years at school -”

“Great apology.”

“ - and I hated it…and I won’t lie and say some things that I have said weren’t true because they were – but there were times that you didn’t deserve them – the full moon and today were a couple of those times.” Lily continued as though James hadn’t interrupted her, green eyes staring at the foot of the bed where his trunk laid.

James let out a hum of agreement but didn’t say anything else, not even as Lily crept closer, placing the plate on the beside table and moving his book aside to sit at the end of his bed and face him. Her face lacked any disgust or contempt, but instead was open and soft, a slight nervousness as a pale hand reached up to tuck the auburn hair, darker in the low bedroom light, behind her ear.

“You -”

Lily let out another breath, reaching forward to grip James’ darker hand in her own. “You were protecting your friends, your sister...and you saved Snape – and now it’s my turn to protect my friends who would do the same to me.” A gentle squeeze and the hand was rested on Lily’s lap with her own. “I’m sorry, for hurting you, for blaming you, for assuming it was your fault – and I’m sorry.”

James let out another hum, pulling his hand away from her own gently and reaching for the plate of food. “Yeah it was pretty shit.” He added, pulling at the sandwich. “But it’s not like I don’t understand – Snape’s your friend and I’m not – no offence or anything but I would act the same way between you and Sirius.” He shrugged his shoulders and Lily’s own sank slightly.

Hermione let herself smile sadly – Snape and Lily were no more and Sirius and James weren’t speaking, but there was something there still between them – a protective instinct that came through even when they hated each other. Like brothers in a fight.

“You are my friend.” Hermione and James looked up, her brother’s hazel eyes shining brightly behind his glasses as he raised an eyebrow.

“Lily, you’ve spent your whole time at this school hating me and wanting me to leave you alone – I wouldn’t call that friendship.” He whispered, but there was a pink tint to his neck and cheeks, a small smile forming on his face that he seemed to be trying hard to keep off.

“Maybe not that, no – but before all the shit went down, we were getting along and I thought – well I thought we had finally gotten somewhere.” Lily admitted, her own gentle smile and blushing cheeks matching James’.

Hermione frowned, Merlin, it was like they couldn’t even see it.

“Yeah, me too.”

“So I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine – like I said I do understand.” James nodded, a wider smile on his face as he took a bite of his sandwich, seemingly swallowing his bite in one go as he turned to look back at Lily in confusion. “Are you waiting for us to hug or something?” Lily blinked, her cheeks turning redder than her hair and her eyes moving up from wherever they had been looking.

“Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do?” Her voice sounded strained and Hermione couldn’t stop the small laugh that left her mouth as Lily retucked the hair behind her ear.

“I thought it was kiss and make up.” James teased, eyes glinting but his plate was being pushed away and his arms were already opening.

“I think just a hug will do.”

It was almost too sweet to watch, like eating the Halloween feast. But yet she couldn’t help but stop and stare as James tucked Lily into his chest, much the same way he had with her. How they seemed to fit like a couple of puzzle pieces, or how the same slightly dopey smile took over their faces without the other knowing.

Hermione would give it another year before they realised.