Chapter 9
“Wow this is…” Harry trailed off as he stood in the entrance of Potter manor.
Just the foyer was enough to stop Harry in his tracks. The ceiling stretched on endlessly with pillars dispersed throughout. Large windows lined the walls to allow the view of the sprawling green hills to be seen with picture perfect clarity. Two staircases twined up to the second floor, stretching off in either direction for who knows how long. The walls were a light creamy colour and were dotted with paintings and tapestries of varying imagery to add a certain softness to it all.
It was nothing like Malfoy manor which was grand but cold and detached or Grimmauld that was haunted with the ghosts of the past causing any beauty it may hold to be washed away. This was a home and Harry wondered what it could have been like to grow up in a place like this.
The frame of the house itself was beautiful but the hanging lights were coated with dust and the magic within was dead. The once rich coloured wood floors now looked grey and faded as natural sunlight struck it in a predictable pattern for years. The rugs in the receiving room were dusty and the furniture looked ragged and chewed.
The only sign of life were the dust motes that drifted aimlessly throughout the space.
“It was beautiful once,” Lily trailed off, wiping a finger on the bannister and leaving behind a clear stripe amidst the thick layer of dirt.
“I can’t believe I never knew that I had this,” Harry mused.
“Probably just another secret withheld from you” Lily replied honestly.
With a grimace, they entered further into the house. Each room was the same with decadence built into every structure but it was just all so worn down and dated that it made even Grimmauld look alright.
“Do you think we could ever fix it up enough to live in? I mean I don’t know how you or dad would feel about coming back but…” Harry said awkwardly, again not knowing what kind of future they might see for themselves.
“I feel a sort of obligation to fix it if I’m honest. James and I always planned on living here once the war was over, with you. James made all his memories here with Fleamont and Euphemia and now that they’re gone, this house would help us feel more connected to them. And when you one day have children, I think this home would be a wonderful place to raise them” Lily went on, looking around as if seeing the ghosts of memories drift by.
He knew he wouldn’t abandon Grimmauld entirely, not wanting it to go to waste, especially since they started their restoration projects on it but just like he didn’t want to abandon that house, he didn’t want to leave the Manor that clearly held special memories for all of them.
They continued the grand tour with Lily leading the way. She offered small anecdotes to Harry, showing him whose room was whose, where she stayed when they visited, and all the activities they did together when they were on holiday.
Closets revealed dated clothing and Lily spent a long time in James’ room, just looking at his clothes- his Hogwarts robes of varying sizes, Quidditch kit that Harry was very glad they changed, and other clothes that may have once been the height of fashion but now just looked costume-y.
“So you really don’t want to tell James about this then?” Lily asked Harry after they had finished their initial inspection.
Harry thought about telling his dad but it didn’t feel right. He wanted to surprise James with it, offer him a gift in return for all he had done for Harry, even if he might not remember it. He wouldn’t be getting rid of anything, just fixing it up so they could all move in comfortably and work on new memories rather than focusing on the past like they always seemed to do.
He shook his head and Lily agreed to keep it a secret.
They had told James they were going clothes shopping and if they wanted to keep up appearances, they had better get to the Muggle shopping centre quickly.
“You better start preparing your excuses now then” Lily said pointedly.
“It shouldn’t take too long right?” Harry asked suspiciously looking around.
The chair Harry had sat on collapsed, the leg under it breaking, and he supposed that was answer enough.
_______
“Oh that’s amazing!” Lily smiled when Harry told them that Molly invited him over for dinner.
James seemed equally happy at the prospect of seeing the Weasleys, “I haven’t been back to the Burrow in forever, must’ve been Gid & Fab’s birthday party huh?”
Lily mused on the thought, “Mhm, right before the attack at the Safe house.”
“What happened? Molly never talks about them,” Harry piped up curiously. He had only heard Molly mention them once and it was very brief.
“Well, she was quite close with them and took their deaths hard so I imagine that’s why. They were at one of the Order safehouses that also acted as a hospital when death eaters had found it and mounted an attack. They managed to save everyone within and take down a group of the death eaters but Dolohov showed up and killed them both. It was…brutal to say the least. We all took their deaths quite hard, they were always a source of joy or laughter so not having them around was…” James trailed off sadly.
“They were our version of Fred and George” Lily smiled as she recalled Harry’s stories about the twins and the antics they had gotten up to at Hogwarts.
Harry couldn’t imagine the Prewett twins and the Marauders at school at the same time…how was McGonnogall still standing?
“Well it's at 6pm and wear loose clothes, she loves to feed people,” Harry laughed.
“I’m excited to meet your new mum,” Lily teased.
“N- she’s not- it’s-” Harry stutted, trying to explain.
Lily pushed aside a piece of his hair lovingly, “I’m just joking, but I do want to thank her for taking care of you when I couldn’t.”
His hair fell right back and she just shook her head fondly before announcing that she would be taking up the bathroom for the next few hours to ‘freshen up’ and that was that.
________
Lily was definitely fresh when she came back downstairs at precisely 5:59pm. Her hair was softly curled and fell down her back in long waves and her floral dress was a bit dressier than they usually preferred but for someone who rarely left the house, this was practically the event of the season.
Once James realised that there was no fixing his hair, they side alonged and ended up in the grassy lands surrounding the Burrow. The sun was slowly making its way to the horizon where it would soon give way to the moon and the view of the field washed in golden light was stunning.
After a moment's appreciation, they walked up to the door and knocked.
Ginny opened the door, “Harry!” she greeted, faltering when she peered around him at the two figures behind him who were smiling cheesily.
“Gin, I brought some…guests” he decided on.
Ron shoved her aside then, speeding up the process, “Come on in.”
He opened the door wider and they all entered the cosy sitting room. The fire burned brightly in the hearth and Harry could hear the sound of Molly chopping something in the kitchen and the other Weasley kids bustling around in various areas of the tall home.
“Who are-” Ginny began but was cut off.
“I think Mum’s calling you” Ron said, pushing her again in the direction of the kitchen but she just kicked him in the shin before stalking away.
“Hello Ron” Lily greeted and Ron still blushed before greeting her with a hug. He then moved onto James with a simple handshake and significantly less blush. He was the same with Narcissa and all the rest of their friends’ mums. He just had a thing with mums it seems.
“Harry is that you!” he heard Molly yell distantly and he responded accordingly.
Arthur bustled in the doorway then, dusting his hands off on his pants as he must’ve been tinkering with something outside, “Harry!” he announced, “And…”
His eyes widened when they landed on James and Lily who spun around to the door to greet him.
“Arthur!” James smiled, going in straight for the hug.
Arthur stopped him abruptly, placing a hand on either side of James' shoulders before slowly bringing him in as if he was a rabid animal about to attack. He was hyper focused as he analysed James, looking quite like when he was pondering the purpose of a rubber ducky.
“James?” he questioned skeptically.
“The one and only” he smirked.
Then leaning him aside, “Lily?”
Lily just nodded excitedly.
“Holy-”
“Shit! Oh hey Harry” Charlie said, stumbling down the stairs.
“Is it really you?” Arthur asked once more.
Once James nodded, he pulled James in for a hug quite forcefully. After a few moments, James had to tap his back to let him go so he could breathe again.
“I cannot believe my eyes,” Arthur howled with watery eyes. He really was a big softie.
“Who are you?” Charlie asked curiously, now looking at them like they were a new breed of dragon. He had significantly more tattoos than the last time Harry saw him and they suited him quite well though most of them were poorly covered up by a long sleeved sweater which he assumed was Molly’s doing.
Molly entered with a glass tray piled high with bread rolls, “Ginny dear could you-”
Lily, whose back was turned, turned to Molly who shrieked so loud it practically echoed in Harry’s skull and she dropped the tray flat on the ground, causing it to shatter.
“You are not Ginny!” she shouted.
“No I am not, but I’m glad you’re happy to see me” Lily smiled, looking down at her toes that were now bleeding from the small pieces of glass. “That hurts,” was her only comment as she wiggled off her sandals.
Bill, who was just sitting silently on the sofa observing it all, came over with his wand and vanished the mess before adding, “I can fix that.” He didn’t even seem phased.
“You! Lily! James!” she spluttered.
“Now that we’re all here, I wanted to introduce my parents, James and Lily” Harry muttered belatedly.
“Holy shit!” Ginny finished the earlier sentence.
“Shit!” a small blond girl squeaked from behind the sofa, Victoire.
Ron remained looking forlornly at the rolls, perhaps wondering if they were still edible if he snatched them up quick enough.
“Oh my gods, Charlie! Bill! You two are so grown, last I saw you, you were just little toddlers” Lily cooed at them, sticking her foot up as he continued to heal it. She seemed to have forgotten that at this point, they were older than her.
“Now I know what you’ve been up to, ever heard of birth control potions?” James smirked, slapping Arthur on the back who had turned as red as a tomato.
The house was a flurry of activity from then on. Molly just standing and blubbering every few minutes, Arthur trying to remain calm, and all the kids just chatting, clearly handling the information much better than everyone else.
Dinner was served, the rolls were saved due to the valiant efforts of Ron, and they all sat up at the table to eat.
“Hey where’s George?” James asked offhandedly, looking at the empty seat.
“I’ll go call him,” Arthur said quietly.
Molly looked very sad then as she turned to explain, “He still doesn’t leave his room much after Fred. He’s been getting a bit better but some days are still hard…”
The table remained quiet until Arthur came downstairs with a small smile as George trailed behind him.
It was clear that time had yet to continue ticking for him. His skin was grey and thin and his eyes still carried a haunted look. He was yet to recover from the loss of his twin brother and Harry honestly doubted that he ever actually would.
George lifted his blue eyes from his feet and made eye contact with James who smiled warmly.
“Hello!”
He paused, staring blankly until something slipped into place and he uttered, “Prongs?”
James' smile grew even wider as he bowed deeply in his seat.
The corner of George’s lips lifted up in a smile.
“I hear you’ve continued our legacy at Hogwarts” James praised.
“You left a high standard for us, Fred and I tried” he shrugged hopefully.
He sat next to James and they all began to eat, conversation flowing lightly.
“Remus was a good man…he helped me a lot after it happened” Bill acknowledged.
James and Lily were happy to know Remus had not only mastered his own condition but was able to help others in their time of need, no matter how old they were when it happened.
“Daddy’s a wolf” Victoire cheered before growling menacingly at the table.
Molly chided her but Ginny just growled in return before tickling her, causing her plate of mash to spill everywhere.
Once dinner concluded, everyone had gathered in the sitting room but remained focused on their own tasks, playing wizarding chess, exploding snaps, reading books, or chatting. George was the only one who had gone upstairs right after he finished his dinner, looking quite upset.
“Have you notified the Ministry of this development yet?” Percy sniffed casually but everyone knew he was anything but.
“Er no, not yet” Harry answered.
“Aren’t you an Auror?” he questioned with a raised brow.
“Don’t be a spoilsport” Charlie said, slapping him on the arm, causing him to jolt. “You don’t get this everyday, why notify the Ministry and ruin a good thing?”
That quickly put a close to his line of questioning.
“Where’s the restroom?” Lily asked and Ginny quickly stood up to help her, their twin hair leaving a fiery trail before disappearing around the corner.
When Lily entered she turned around to Ginny after seeing the black painting above the sink, “That’s interesting.”
She quietly whispered, “George still can’t handle seeing his reflection. It makes him feel like he’s looking at Fred and he has panic attacks so it’s best to leave it like this. All the mirrors in the house are like this.”
Lily’s heart broke as she nodded understandingly.
She remembered James telling her in secret that he had done the exact same for Sirius when he came over to the Manor just after Regulus died.
Sirius and Regulus weren’t necessarily twins as Sirius had longer hair, tattoos, and piercings to make up for the difference but at their base, they looked the exact same. When they were younger, before all the modifications, they could pass as each other easily, the single year between them barely mattering.
Sirius first had an episode the same day Regulus died when he disappeared into the bathroom and didn’t come out for hours. James had to break open the door to get in and he just saw Sirius curled up on the floor with a bloody hand and a shattered mirror.
He charmed all the mirrors the next day to purposefully blur when one stood in front of it. He knew Sirius wouldn’t appreciate an overt change to the mirrors and told James to put them back and that he didn’t care but they all knew he did, so a blurring charm was easily passable.
It had been a long time before he could put them back to normal.
_______
James went up the stairs quickly, wanting to invite George to join everyone else downstairs but his energy quickly depleted when he heard a sniffling noise from behind George’s door.
He knocked and the door pushed open as the broken latch hadn’t properly closed it. Privacy in the Weasley household was nothing more than a mere illusion.
“George?” James asked, peering into the room slowly.
There was the sound of rapid shuffling before, “Yeah?”
James opened the door fully then. George was hunched over the covers on his bed, a small notebook in front of him. The light was dim and the windows were thrown open causing an uncomfortable chill to take over the small room.
Despite his light tone, George was sitting like a wraith in the bed, pale and haunted. His eyes were bloodshot and his hands were clenched around the notebook, as if trying to tether himself to this moment.
“You okay?” James asked, remaining in the doorway.
“Yup, fine” he answered quickly.
“Right and I’m the queen,” James said casually.
“Sorry what?” George asked, confused, as if just coming out of a haze.
“Well I just thought we were lying to each other now” James responded, taking a seat on a small chair in the corner of the room.
George only huffed, sitting up straighter and wiping his eyes as if trying to gather some dignity.
“I know what it’s like to lose a brother you know” he began and George’s eyes snapped to him but he remained silent.
“Sirius and I didn’t share blood but we shared a soul I think. Meeting Sirius was like some missing part of my life had been filled and I didn’t even realise it. I won’t bore you with a story you’re familiar with- everything you did with Fred, I did with Sirius. I don’t mean to compare the two but I know what it is like to lose them unexpectedly. When I showed up here and Harry told me…It felt like I had died. Maybe sometimes I wish I did…I don’t know. I worked to save Sirius from so much growing up, and I did so happily, but to know I couldn’t help him at a time he needed me most was hard.”
George’s eyes began to fill with tears again and they shone in the dimly lit room. He slowly croaked, “It’s not fair. Harry got both of you back and…I just want Fred.”
A sob tore out of him as he doubled over, pushing the notebook aside and pulling his knees up to his chest to cradle them.
“I just want my brother back,” he cried again.
James wished he could have done some horrible twist of magic to bring Fred back along with Sirius, Remus, everyone else. He didn’t have more of a chance of being here than anyone else did, Dumbledore just so happened to accidentally choose them.
“I wish he could come back too” James whispered, slowly moving to sit next to George on the bed.
“We vowed to stay together during the battle but the death eaters were everywhere and we got separated. His last words were to Percy and I can’t help but hate it. I hate that he got to be the last one to speak to Fred when it should have been me ,” he weeped, “I don’t even remember what the last thing we said to each other was.”
James had to gather himself because he felt the same. He spent nights toiling over what his last words to Sirius could have possibly been. It must have been something pointless, as most of their conversations had been.
Did he tell them he loved them? Did he say something memorable? Or did he waste his last words, letting them float away on the wind, forgotten.
He was only left with the memory of his last words to Peter, words borne of betrayal and pain.
“No matter what you said, I imagine Fred treasured them regardless.”
“Percy said he died with a smile on his face from a joke he made. Percy never jokes but he found it in himself to make one then, right before it happened. I wonder if Percy never made that joke, Fred would have been more alert, he would’ve seen the attack coming. Or maybe if I stayed by his side, I could’ve covered him, I could’ve helped him” he rambled desperately.
“We’ll never know what happened. Perhaps you could have helped him…or maybe you died and he lived. Or maybe you all died” James said honestly, “Each moment has an infinite amount of outcomes, there’s no deciphering all of them, just the one you’ve been given.”
George lifted his head, just enough so that his eyes peeked over the crook of his arm, “How do you do it? How are you just fine ?” His tone wasn’t necessarily mad but it was like he deemed it unfair that James wasn’t as angry as he was.
“I’m not fine at all. Sometimes I wake up and for a moment, I don’t remember anything at all, but the minute I blink, the cloth is ripped off my eyes and I remember it all and I want nothing more than to stay in bed and hide under the covers until I can go back to sleep and forget it again. But then Lily wakes up and asks me how I’m feeling and Harry calls us down to breakfast where we talk about whatever comes to mind and I feel a bit better, like maybe I can go on for one more day if it means I get to spend it with them. I don’t forget my friends any more than before or feel like I’m okay but it reminds me to not waste the life I was given” James says with so much honesty that it shocks even himself.
George’s eyes seemed to clear slightly and the tears abated. His eyes slid over to the forgotten notebook, “That was Fred’s. It’s full of ideas for Wheezes. We haven’t come out with a new product in months. Ron helps run it, Ginny too, but I just can’t find it in myself to do something without Fred…it doesn’t feel right to move on without him.”
“I don’t think Fred would want his genius to go to waste. It might be nice to try and make his dreams a reality- to create a new generation of pranksters. I could always help too you know, might be nice to have something to do."
He nodded then, seeming to truly take James’ words to heart and James hoped he hadn’t blundered this opportunity at comfort too much.
“You will see him again, I’m sure of it. Be sure you have enough stories to tell him about when the time comes” he smiled and thankfully George’s lips lifted in turn.
“Thank you Mr. Potter. Also, can I be honest?”
“Call me James and of course.”
“It’s kind of weird to call you that because aren’t I technically older than you? Or are you like mentally forty?”
James laughed fully then, all the tension and sadness from before instantly dissipating.
“It’s easier if you don’t think too hard about it.”
When James went back downstairs, he was happy to see George was right behind him, shyly joining the game of Exploding Snaps the others were playing who happily welcomed him.
“You okay?” Lily whispered.
James just nodded before pulling Lily in close and looking at Harry.
He knew he’d be okay with the two of them at his side.
_______
Seeing a small Teddy with red hair and hazel eyes shocked him. That’s what he would have looked like if James and Lily’s genetics had done the exact opposite of their current combination and Harry was suddenly very appreciative of the black hair and green eyes he received instead. He would’ve looked too much like a Weasley then.
After Andromeda’s initial shock of seeing them again and being told the story of their arrival, she was all too happy to drop Teddy off. Apparently he had just gotten into the candy drawer and ate all the chocolate in there, a craving he certainly got from Remus, and he was in the midst of the biggest sugar rush of his small life.
He was practically bouncing off the walls as Harry tried to calm him down and play with him but he was content to run around, bumping into walls and tables, and screaming loudly.
James and Lily just watched in shock and a strange sense of exclusion as they watched. Teddy was near enough to Harry’s age when they disappeared or died or whatever they want to call it and now Harry was old enough to be his guardian.
It was a harsh reminder of what they had missed out on. Harry had only just taken his first steps then, all the other milestones were forgotten by Petunia and there was no documentation.
“What do you say we play a game of tag in the garden?” James cheered after watching Lily’s pained expression that she tried and failed to hide.
Teddy squealed excitedly before making a run for the garden doors, his heavy feet thumping on the ground quickly. On the way there, he tripped on his own feet in his haste, and fell right on his face.
Harry, James, and Lily waited in tense silence for him to start crying but Teddy just slowly lifted his face from the ground, stunned from the shock, before breaking out into laughter and continuing on his mission.
A collective sigh of relief loosed from all of them.
The sun was shining brightly with a few tufts of white clouds floating amidst the sprawling blue sky. The garden at Grimmauld wasn’t grand by any means but it was spacious enough for a toddler like Teddy and they had gotten to work on cleaning it up some more in the past couple of days so it was perfect for a game of tag.
James took up the grand title of ‘It’ and gave them all a five second head start to get away from him before he set off, his eyes set on Harry who eyed him back with equal intensity.
James bolted at full speed at Harry who waited until the last moment before darting just out of his reach, causing him to stop and redirect, marvelling at his quick reflexes. He chased Harry but shot his arms out anytime he came close to Lily or Teddy who seemed to have allied together as they ran to the far corners together.
After it was clear James wouldn’t catch Harry, he paused, breathing heavily, before setting sights on Lily who seemed to think that if she just froze in place, he wouldn’t see her.
He was on her in an instant, running at full speed and Lily did the unimaginable. She betrayed her ally, pushing Teddy forward into James’ grip so that she had a chance to run away, laughing.
Teddy was exultant after being presented with the honour and chased all of them. He didn’t seem to be able to focus on who exactly he wanted to tag and was forced to run, pause, then run in another direction again, before repeating it all.
It was the cutest thing any of them had ever seen.
The game continued for a while longer, Harry allowing himself to be tagged by Teddy when it was clear he wasn’t going to be able to match up, James getting tagged by all of them, and Lily not getting caught a single time.
“How?” Harry asked as he chugged water and tried to cool down.
“Strategy.”
“Tag isn’t a game of strategy,” James pointed out.
“Coming from the one that got tagged the most” she piped up and James just scoffed.
“Next time, we’ll play Quidditch,” James said and Harry lit up with excitement at the prospect. They could have a good game with the Weasleys and Harry made sure to bring that up with them soon.
As they sat and caught their breaths, Teddy decided to turn it into a game of duck, duck, goose that they gladly participated in until the sun had begun to slowly dip and the sky turned golden.
They went inside to wash up and eat the lunch Kreacher had prepared for them and Teddy ended up falling asleep at the table, his head missing his plate by only a few centimetres with his hands still clenched around his fork and spoon.
His hair turned back into its’ sandy brown colour and Lily’s heart burst at seeing Remus’ natural colour shine through his head again.
“I’ll go ahead and put him down upstairs, you two finish up” Harry said, scooping Teddy up easily who wrapped his arms around his neck, snuggling into his shirt.
After he came back downstairs, James and Lily looked at him with an odd expression on their faces and he had to ask, “What?”
“You’re good with him” Lily smiled at Harry who coloured slightly.
“Just trying to do what Sirius might have done with me.”
“He loved you so much, I’m sure he wished he hadn’t missed out on so much either,” James answered easily, putting his hand on his shoulder and squeezing slightly.
“By the way, an owl came by when you were upstairs, the crazy thing kept tapping on the glass until I went and opened it” James sighed, shaking his head.
“Well, we’re going to the Library, I need to catch up on two decades worth of books” Lily said before standing up and dragging James up with her, wanting company and to check on Teddy should he wake up.
Harry went over to the letter and instantly knew what it’d be when he saw the wax seal of Hogwarts on the back. It was an official reminder about the job posting and whether or not he’d take the DADA post now that he hadn’t necessarily outright denied her.
He’d make a decision in the next few days.
He just didn’t know what he would choose.