Chapter 10
“Apparently Dumbledore wants to see us,” Harry voiced aloud, looking up from the small parchment McGonagall's manic owl had dropped off just now.
James looked up from where he was desperately wrestling with a piece of furniture in the attic. Their cleanup progress on the Grimmauld front has been minimal at best and with Harry and Lily tired from all their work at the Manor, they just say everything here is too hard to deal with and James heroically ends up taking up their abandoned tasks.
Apparently wrestling with overactive side tables was a part of that.
Why the table was even animate was beyond their knowledge but apparently their presence had awoken it and it wouldn’t stop jumping up and down and the thumping was irritating all of them.
“Really?” Lily asked from her spot next to Harry where she just looked through an old photo album.Harry handed her the parchment and she scanned it quickly before looking at James to see his thoughts.
“Does it say why?”
“Erm, according to McGonagall he said, ‘I would love to see old friends and work on experiments again. It is only fate that the two are now one.’”
He really could have worded it better considering their last interaction.
When Harry looked back up at James, he saw that the table was now on top of him, trapping him in between the wooden legs and James seemed in no mood to hurry to escape as he just put his hands under his head and laid under it as if laying under an umbrella on a beach.
“I really have no desire to see him but it might be nice to see Hogwarts again?” he mused. “What do you think beta?”
Despite James’ term of endearment, Harry was vehemently against going. Not only did he not want to see Dumbledore but he knew McGonagall would ask him about the job posting. She had sent another letter, seemingly in an attempt to assuage his worries about taking it up.
Harry didn’t necessarily even understand why she asked him to take on such a post but she claimed that she admired him for his work with Dumbledore’s army, proving his capabilities, and more so because she was having a hard time filling the post.
Voldemort’s jinx on the post was no secret and it seems that despite his very public death, people were still scared to take on the job at risk of their own lives. She must have thought Harry would keep up the self-sacrificing act even after the war and prove to everyone that the post was safe.
He had no fears of taking up the job in regards to the jinx but he was rather scared about teaching an entire generation of students who were still reeling with the effects of the war. So many children were either orphaned in the war, lost siblings, or were still dealing with the aftereffects. Some of the students were even there when death eaters had taken over and Snape was headmaster.
Harry was so caught up being in the epicentre of the entire fight that he often forgot what it must be like for the first or second years who were so excited to start school only to enter in the middle of a war and get caught in the crossfires. He especially didn’t forget how the Carrows liked the older students to practise Unforgivables on unfortunate first or second years. He’d seen children scarred, blinded, or mauled at just eleven and twelve years old.
Could he really teach when he was just holding it together himself?
The thought of Remus Lupin floated into his mind suddenly. He was often weary and his golden eyes were usually dull, especially around a full moon. He was juggling so much- Sirius, Peter, the moons, hiding his lycanthropy, teaching, dementors, etc. But despite it all, he was the best teacher any of them had ever had. No matter how much he might have been struggling, he never hesitated in offering a helping hand or a comforting gesture to all of his students.
If he did it, couldn’t Harry?
But everyone had expected him to be an Auror, it was why they let him become one without any real qualifications. He hadn’t gone back to Hogwarts or taken his NEWT’s, they sort of just let him skip by all those, going straight into an expedited training period and spitting him out the other side ready to go, uniform and all.
In all the time Harry spent away from the office, he hadn’t missed it once. He only missed seeing Ron, Hermione, and Draco every day but he saw them so often regardless that it didn’t really give him any sort of motivation to go back.
That was enough reason to not go back really wasn’t it?
Despite the maelstrom going through Harry's head he just shrugged, “Up to you.”
______
They decided on ‘yes’ and once they had vanished the table, they were off.
Harry hoped the table wasn’t anything important because it was now just lost in the abyss of wherever vanished things went. It wouldn’t get off James so really, it did it to itself.
They floo’d directly to McGonagall's office after sending her a short missive that they’d come by in a few hours. Thankfully she was free more often than not over the summer and she immediately agreed to the time.
They had gone into the floo one at a time, Harry first, then James, then Lily.
Once they had arrived, they spent a moment just soaking it in.
James walked into the room confidently, striding right up to the large wooden desk set in the centre of the room that McGonnogal currently stood behind. He just swiped a hand across the top before collapsing into the seat opposite it.
“It is so weird being back here” he marvelled. “It looks just the same.”
“Yes well you have spent a lot of time here Mr. Potter, I’m surprised your behind hasn’t left a permanent indent,” she rebuked.
Lily walked further in and McGonagall met her halfway, drawing her in for a short hug, “It’s nice to see you are doing better dear, we were quite worried.”
“Where’s my hug Minnie?” James called over.
“Have some decorum Mr. Potter” she chided before smiling at Harry.
Harry smiled but his eyes were immediately drawn to the imperious figure sitting in the portrait just behind her desk. He was currently smiling easily down at all of them, smoothing down his robes and straightening his glasses but making no move to actually begin the conversation.
“I do thank you for coming all this way on short notice but Albus wanted to speak with you all again after your arrival” McGonogall introduced.
“Was that before or after he started jumping portraits to avoid confrontation” Harry drawled. The others looked at him but remained silent, looking more uncomfortable than he was.
“Good afternoon Harry” Dumbledore said instead, “My, my, it is such a delight to see you both” the aged wizard said, his small blue eyes lighting up and wrinkles tightening as he grinned.
“Nice to see you too Albus” James said easily from his seat.
“I was so shocked to hear of your passing Sir” Lily said, snapping her eyes quickly to Snape’s portrait that was currently empty, whether that was accidental or on purpose, Harry didn’t know.
“Ah yes well time does seem to catch up to us all. Or maybe not in your case,” he winked.
“I suppose thanks are in order for that,” James began.
Dumbledore just tipped his head and seemed to wait for one of them to say ‘thank you’ and when no one did, Harry snorted a bit in laughter before grabbing a Sour Drop from the infamous candy bowl.
“Harry told me the tale of your arrival in our time but I was hoping one of you might be able to recount the events leading up to and just after your encounter with Tom Riddle,” Dumbledore inquired lightly even though he clearly knew enough.
James and Lily swapped a quick look before he jumped into the story, with Lily only chiming in once in a while for a clarifying detail or what her experience was like.
“It appears my work was correct then,” he mused.
“What exactly was your work, I mean how did you manage to even make something like that? Also, is it even legal?” James wondered.
“Well Mr. Potter, I do not know whether it is legal, many things are illegal for good reason whereas many things are legal that are not so good. Who is to say?” he philosophised. He reminded Harry a bit of Ron when he got drunk and tried to get poetic but just said the most convoluted random sentence that Harry just nodded along to.
“The Ministry,” Harry quipped.
“Of course, though seeing as I am not but a portrait, I don’t think they can do much to incarcerate me” Dumbledore quipped.
“Not without trial of course, the Ministry would never allow such a thing” Harry snapped.
This time Lily turned to him with large eyes and her lips were tight and Harry suddenly felt like a child in a supermarket who was causing a public scene with the mum giving them a threatening look to wait until they got home.
He abated then and just went to study the bookshelf, tilting his head ninety degrees to read all the titles.
“I thought we had resolved that matter,” Dumbledore said and paused for a moment to allow Harry to respond but when he didn’t, he continued, “Though I do believe it providence that you mentioned Mr. Black.”
Harry’s ears piqued but he didn’t turn back.
“If I am correct, the night at the Department of Mysteries, Bellatrix shot Sirius with a curse that was so powerful, he was jolted back and fell through the veil, yes?”
The ensuing silence was signal enough for Harry to turn back, “Yes. She hit Sirius with a modified Stunner and he couldn’t react in time and neither could I. He fell backwards into the veil before I could grab him, it all just happened so quickly.”
The three adults in the room with him looked sorrowful and even Fawkes who was on a perch in the back, cooed softly, as if picking up on the emotion in the room.
“I wonder if there may be a way to bring Mr. Black back?” Dumbledore asked.
“You what?” James choked.
Harry couldn’t think of anything to say, sarcastic or otherwise. Even the mere thought of bringing Sirius back was enough to bring him to his knees but he couldn't help the way his blood pressure slowly rose as he looked up at Dumbledore who's painted eyes held the promise of a plan.
He would never forget when he went to Hermione the minute she woke up after recovering from her injuries after the Battle and asking her to see if there was a way to bring Sirius back from the veil. He would never forget the way he cried and begged in her arms and how she had held him gently throughout his breakdowns unable to offer a solution.
Because there wasn’t one.
Until now of course.
“Is that even possible?” Lily gasped out.
“It shouldn’t have been possible for you both to come back but you have, alive and well I might add.”
“Albus, you never mentioned this” McGonagall whispered.
“I didn’t think it was possible, Minerva.”
“Let’s stop being surprised that he didn’t tell us something” Harry ground out and he grabbed another candy to fiddle with, “Is it possible to build another one of your time turner things?”
“Well we must clarify they are not time turners ” He corrected.
“Okay, time turner adjacent.”
“It just so happens we do not need to build another one because I have one” he cheered.
“You built two ?” Lily announced, shocked.
“Of course, I build two of everything.”
“What if it didn’t work?” she asked then.
“My philosophy with my experiments is, if it didn’t work, then I could fix one and immediately be able to fix the other one rather than have to build another from scratch. On the other hand, If it does work, then I have two of what I need.”
It was stupid but also kind of genius?
“How would the whole thing even work though?” James inquired. His hands were clenched around the armrests of his chair and the muscles in his neck and back were tense, as if ready to jump up out of the chair and drag Sirius out of the veil himself.
“Much like it did with the both of you I should hope. Right before his death, Sirius was shot with a powerful curse from a powerful witch, just like what happened with you two. The curse fired up the device with so much magic, it practically exploded and brought you to the present,” Dumbledore’s tone started to speed up with excitement and Harry couldn’t help but follow along as well, dropping the whole uninterested act.
“Technically, Harry could use an actual Time Turner to go back to the moment of the battle, then use the modified device to save Sirius from falling into the veil and dying, bringing him to the present day instead.”
He finished by simply leaning back and folding his hands in his lap.
They were all stunned. It all seemed so simple but there were so many other variables to consider.
“But everyone saw Sirius fall into the veil, won’t people notice if he just ups and disappears? Does he still die in the past? How does that go?” Harry rattled off immediately, stepping closer to Dumbledore.
“Well, it was lucky that James and Lily were in the privacy of their home when this happened so there weren’t any bystanders.”
“I wouldn't say it was lucky but go on,” James noted.
“When Sirius fell, the fight still continued so not much attention was on him regardless. However, the time between the moment Sirius was struck and when he fell was infinitesimal. He could easily disappear in that time and it would still seem like he fell through the veil, according to history or what not. It wouldn’t really change anything because he technically “died” in the timeline. Like James and Lily coming to the present didn’t change anything because the Time Turner device didn’t change time itself but rather transported the person who wielded it.”
“Is any of this making sense to anyone?” James asked lightly.
Lily just nodded quickly and it was so much like Hermione, Harry just had to laugh.
“How can we ensure that Sirius is brought to this exact moment though? The device could take him to any point in the future, what if it’s just like a few months?” Lily inquired.
“That would be difficult, yes but not impossible. I hypothesised that you were brought to the present because the Killing Curse is inherently an extremely powerful one. The spell overpowered the device, took it into overdrive, and just hurtled you as far into the future as possible, the present. Sirius was shot similarly so theoretically, it’s possible that Bellatrix’s curse is so virile, it does the same and just brings him into the now.”
“But there’s a difference between the Killing Curse and whatever modified Stunner she used on Sirius” McGonagall interjected.
“Yes but spells are really as powerful as the ones who cast them. Voldemort used the Killing Curse but he didn’t necessarily care about killing James or Lily, you two were unfortunately standing in his way. Harry was his true desire. He was so used to the Killing Curse that he wielded it with ease and so he didn’t have to put any sort of passion into it. On the other hand, Bellatrix may have used a powerful stunner, but she funnels her anger into her magic and it shows. Additionally, she hated Sirius for their familial issues and it was clear that she wanted him dead for a long time. Optimistically speaking, it’s entirely possible that her anger can compensate for the strength of the spell, making the two instances equivalent.”
There was just so much talking that Harry couldn’t even focus. He was happy everyone was asking the right questions but they seemed to have just brushed over the fact that Harry would have to go back to one of the most traumatising instances of his life.
If Harry wasn’t held back by Remus, he would have thrown himself into the veil after Sirius and now he would be going back to change time? Or no, change their own time? It’s impossible to explain but somehow Harry could feel the pieces slowly falling into place and clicking in his mind.
“You keep saying everything is ‘possible.’ What if something goes horribly wrong or the device doesn’t work?” James asked.
“What if Harry ends up falling in the veil as well?” Lily asked quietly and they all froze.
Dumbledore considered, looking out of the window for the moment and Harry wondered if his painting truly could appreciate the sunset that was being clearly portrayed by the window. He hadn’t even realised how long they had been chatting until this moment and Harry desperately needed food and a nap at this point.
“I don’t think it possible for my device not to work because as I told you, I build all of my devices at the same time in the same way. If one works, the other one will . As for Harry, it is a question of whether or not, should something happen differently or he finds himself in a dangerous situation, he can use the device himself and leave Sirius to reach the same demise as before.”
Harry let the words sink in. Could he do that?
If someone asked Harry this question before, his immediate answer would have been ‘no.’ It felt like his life was over , like he had fallen through the veil that night when Sirius died.
But now he knew what was on the other side. The war ended, Voldemort died, his parents came back, his friends and loved ones survived. He was able to live the life that he had only ever been able to dream about. Could he go back to it knowing that if something went wrong, it would now be directly his fault?
Harry was always prone to taking risks. He never thought about the consequences of his actions or what the repercussions might be, it was always about getting the job done by whatever means possible.
In this case, he could get his Godfather back.
The feeling of possibility was so overwhelming that it pushed Harry to speak, “I can do it.”
McGonagall sharply stood up then shaking her head, “No. I will not allow this. You can not change time however you please, travelling back and forth and bringing people back from the dead as if you are the Master of Death. I will not allow you to put one of my children at risk .”
Harry suddenly felt his heart melting at McGonagall’s concern. He knew she didn’t really even care about the rest and that she only wanted Harry to be safe. The way she addressed him as one of her kids actually made him quite emotional because despite how stern she might have been in his time at school, she always made him feel comfortable and cared for.
She turned to Lily for support who seemed torn on the matter and didn’t speak up quite yet.
“I think we need some time to speak about this before actually doing anything. The past can’t change anyways right?” James huffed lightly.
Harry was grateful for James’ ability to keep a cool head at times like this though he didn’t know how it was possible considering the subject matter.
Dumbledore tipped his head, “Of course.”
The ancient wizard just serenely closed his eyes as if he hadn’t dropped the most life-changing bomb on them in a single afternoon.
"Wait" Harry called out sharply and Dumbledore's eyes popped open again.
"Yes?"
"W- Why are you doing this?" Harry blurted out. He was grasping and failing to figure out what exactly Dumbledore's motives were.
"While I admit I would like to see the success of my device again, I suppose I carry a certain sort of guilt over how Mr. Black was treated prior, during, and after his arrest. Your words have affected me Harry and when the thought struck me, it didn't feel right to hide it like I had done in the past. Mr. Black was a fine young man who chose right over wrong, despite the consequences, and he was taken from us too soon. While it is entirely up to you whether you decide to take me up on my offer or not, I simply wanted you to know that you had options."
Harry was shocked when Dumbledore went back to sleep without bidding a final farewell, seemingly knowing that the conversation had come to a pause. He knew he was still sour and bitter and more vocal about his displeasure than he was in the past but he had never actually considered that Dumbledore would listen to him. It's unfortunate that he had to die for that to happen first.
McGonagall just sighed and collapsed back in her seat, rubbing her temples. James and Lily looked at each other, seeming to have some sort of silent conversation, and Harry just continued to aimlessly pace the room, unable to sit down.
When Harry turned to make his millionth circle around the room, he turned and saw Snape was back in his portrait with a pained expression on his face.
“Professor” Harry greeted lightly.
His greeting seemed to have caught the others' attention who all turned to look at Snape who shifted uncomfortably under all the attention, or maybe just the specific attention of the people in the room.
“Snivellus, nice to see you looking as greasy as ever” James greeted though his tone wasn’t necessarily evil or menacing, it was a bit playful, as if reminiscing on the insults they used to hurl at each other. The absurdity of the situation was too much to ignore and made it impossible for either of them to really fight.
Snape just rolled his eyes and drawled, “Potter.”
It was so much like the way Snape spoke to him in class that Harry actually laughed out loud at this, joining James’ light snicker.
“Severus” Lily whispered, turning in her seat to look at him.
“Lily” he said with a slight upturn of his lips and a softening of the eyes
It’s the most emotion Harry had ever seen from the man, excluding the moment right before he died.
Lily looked like she wanted to say more but couldn’t and Harry wanted to give her a sense of closure on it all, considering the tumultuous way their friendship had broken up and their lives permanently diverted.
He was also starving.
“How about we make a trip to the kitchen because I’m starving” Harry piped up and everyone agreed eagerly.
“I’ll bring back some” Harry whispered lightly to Lily with a hand on her shoulder and she nodded, squeezing his hand before letting go.
He met James and McGonagall at the door with a nod, they left.
_________
“I’m glad to see you’re well” Snape started gently once the door shut.
Lily just sighed and shook her head slowly, “Severus.”
He nodded, seeming to know everything she wanted to say in just that exhale of breath.
“I have a lot I want to say but I just don’t see the point anymore I suppose. When Harry told me that you died at the battle, I had so many conflicting emotions I didn’t even know how to feel. You were my best friend Severus but somewhere along the way…” she trailed off. “We lost the plot.”
“I hope you know how deeply sorry I am for that now. Nothing I say now can erase the past, I know, but I want you to know that if I could use a time turner or whatever Albus has in his box of trinkets, I would use it. I know I was very misguided in my youth and made many mistakes” he said painfully.
Lily nodded because it was simply an irrefutable fact. She took the moment of vulnerability to really look at him. He was just like all of the other witches and wizards they met- aged. He was much older than when she last saw him, which must have been their graduation from Hogwarts. There was none of the angry sneering youth that she used to know, just an mature and weary man.
“What do you think about all this then?” Lily couldn’t help but ask.
She didn’t want to sit here and parse out every detail of their childhood or talk about his life or the war and she knew Snape wouldn’t want to either. At this point, they were two people with a lot of history that neither were too interested to dig into.
“I think if it gave you a chance to live then it must not be so bad” he shrugged lightly.
“Even if we use it to bring Sirius back?” she laughed lightly.
Snape bristled but again, “Despite how I abhor Sirius Black, I know you cared for him deeply, as did Harry and if possible, I don’t see the harm in bringing him back for you all.”
Lily nodded.
“Combined, I think all of you have broken quite possibly every law instituted by the Ministry so what’s another.”
They laughed together for just a moment before falling into a light silence.
Lily suddenly looked thoughtful when she raised her eyes to Snape again.
“Would you do it? Come back to life if you could?”
Snape thought about it for a moment, running a hand over his robes absently before deciding, “No. I spent much of my life and the hand and foot of other people. I also had a lot of issues that would never have been resolved and I was always in a sort of purgatory, waiting for the next step in my life that just never came. I am at peace now and I’m okay with that.”
Lily smiled and Severus smiled back, the rush of the last forty years dissipating slowly.
It was still the most beautiful sight Severus had ever seen.
_______
“I miss Hogwarts food” Harry groaned.
“I might just have to come back to school for a refresher,” James snorted, before taking another big bite of his chicken.
“What are you two planning-” McGonagall began but was quickly cut off.
“Less talking more eating Minnie,” James said and McGonagall flung her spoon of peas at him before looking away.
James gasped as a shocked smile graced his features and he turned to Harry as if wondering if he saw that too.
Harry was all too familiar with McGonagall’s mischievous side and he smiled as he remembered the way McGonagall simply offered him a biscuit after describing how he'd gotten rid of Umbridge.
“You’ll catch a fly” she tutted before looking back down at her plate as if nothing happened.
Once they finished their meal and went back up for Lily, McGonagall hung back at her door, allowing James entry but not Harry.
“Mr. Potter, I have been waiting for a reply,” she said a bit tensely.
“I know but now, after today, I don’t know if I can or not. I might die, you know?” he said in what was supposed to be amusing but she clearly did not agree.
She just nodded, “After you have decided on this, I will need an answer Mr. Potter.”
Harry just agreed before slowly trailing after his parents.
A few finishing remarks had them stepping through the floo back to Grimmauld where they could groan, shout, or sleep in peace
“I miss having a normal life,” James sighed, dropping into the sofa.
“This is just another Saturday for me,” Harry languished.