Measured Love

Neville

Neville was a ball of nerves all day today. Severus was going to properly meet their son. Silas was behaving perfectly today. They planted some wildflowers in a small pot that had Silas’s handprint on the side in bright green paint. 

Harry and Topher brought lunch. They all sat at the table in the back room. 

“Charlie is driving me crazy right now! I’m almost glad that he wasn’t there at the beginning with Topher. I thought it was bad last time.” Harry sighed as he took a drink of his lemonade. “Every morning he is worried because I wake up and run to the bathroom. Last time, it didn’t last long. I know I should be happy that my husband wants to be there and take care of me, but I can walk back to bed!” Harry ranted. It was nice to think of something other than Severus. Even though Neville is a little jealous. The other wizard's eyes widened.

“I’m sorry that was so insensitive of me. Here I am talking about this when Severus is going to be here today. Are you feeling okay?” The toddlers squealed and giggled. They were trading their food and making a gigantic mess.

Neville wiped the juice off Silas’s face. “I don’t know how I feel. I mean, this is big. What if he wants to take him away from me? I kept him from his son. Or what if he wants to be in his life and I have to see him all the time? Why do I still have feelings for that man? He is the biggest a-r-s-e h-o-l-e.” Neville spelled. He didn’t think the boys were listening. After Topher said some colorful words from Charlie, they all were more careful. 

“Well, we won’t let that happen. He can know his son and spend time with him, but he will not take him away. Do you honestly think Pop would let that happen?” Harry squeezed his hand. 

Neville chuckled. “You are right. Pops would not let that happen.”

“As for you still loving him, it's okay to still love the man. You have his son right there. That is enough to still love him because he gave you the greatest gift. He gave me the best nephew ever. I’ve always said that Severus loved you. Maybe he still does. Maybe he feared what he felt for you?” Harry held up his hands as Neville went off. 

“I am not saying it was right or mature, but I say just go in with an open mind and heart. You are one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met. That is why I’m lucky to have you as my brother. I want you to be happy. With Severus, without Severus, it doesn't matter.” Neville pulled the smaller man into a hug. He needed that comfort. It was all just too much right now.

“Thank you. I love you, Harry. I’m so glad that the headmaster forced me to come to your parent’s wedding. It wasn’t the relationship he was hoping for.” Neville laughed.

“Good. That old fart needed to stop meddling in people's lives. I hate to sound too horrible, but I’m glad that he is in the special memory ward now at St. Mungo. I knew he was getting nutter in his old age. It slowed down the meddling. Now let’s talk about other things.”

“Tell me about Donovan.” Neville knew Harry could talk about his dragon all day. As long as Harry was talking, it kept his mind off of everything else.

It was almost closing time and Silas was dancing around to the music that was playing from the back. 

“Dance Daddy!” Silas jumped up and down, clapping offbeat. The song was a muggle song talking about head, shoulders, knees and toes. 

“Yeah, Si Si, I see you dancing!” Neville hummed along with the song as he watered the plants. “Do you want to help Daddy give the plants a drink?” The toddler stopped jumping and thought about what he asked. Silas shook his head and kept dancing. 

“Daddy dance wif me! Wif Si Si!” Silas giggled as he spun around twice.

“Okay, okay, I’ll dance with Si Si!” Neville placed the water canister down and made his way toward Silas. Neville moved to the overly cheery children's songs. Until he knew he had to water the rest of the plants.

Neville finished watering the plants and decided he could go check on the stew that had been cooking all day. “Silas, come help Daddy check dinner. Remember, someone, is coming over for dinner tonight.” 

“Eat stew?” Silas asked as he toddled over to him. Neville picked him up and cuddled him close.

“Yes, he is eating stew with us. Let's go check on the stew and then we can flip the sign.” His son’s. Brown eyes widened. The toddler loved to flip the sign.

They checked the stew it was cooking perfectly. Neville took them to the door to flip the sign. Silas’s small hand grabbed the sign and flipped it over. Silas clapped his hands once the sign was turned. 

“I do it!” Silas cheered. Before they could walk away, a figure stood behind the door. It was Severus. This was it. Neville took a deep breath and opened the door. 

“Hello, Neville.” Severus greeted, his voice sounding almost nervous. That couldn’t be right. This man would never be nervous. 

“Hi, Severus.” 

“Hi, S’vus!”

Severus

Severus stood in the doorway when he heard his son call him by his name. It wasn’t Papa, but Severus was a start. Neville stood back to let him inside. 

“Hello there. What is your name?” Severus asked the small boy.

“I Si’as.” Silas said before he hid in Neville’s neck, who rubbed the boy’s back.

“Silas, this is my friend Severus. He is here to spend time with you. Do you think you could show him Trevor? I bet he would love to meet him. Daddy is going to finish dinner.” 

Severus watched the father and son. There was a pang of jealousy. Jealousy of Neville because of the closeness with their son and with Silas. He didn’t want to admit that he wanted that kind of attention from Neville. 

“ ‘tay” Silas wriggled out of Neville’s arms, Severus watched as the toddler walked over and grabbed onto one of his potion-stained fingers. A gasp escaped his lips.

“S’vus” He pulled him toward the back of the store. Severus looked up at Neville, whose face was unreadable. The younger wizard nodded and Severus let the boy pull him into the back room. 

Once they were in the small area, Silas let go of his finger. Severus missed the contact instantly. This boy was going to steal his heart, and there was no way of stopping it. Like he tried to do with Neville. 

Silas ran over to the bed where a toad stuffed animal sat. The toddler picked up the toy and ran back to him. He was amazed that the boy could run with his arms as full as they were. Severus instinctually held out his hands to catch the boy should he fall. 

“Tevey!” Silas pushed the stuffed toad in his face and giggled. Severus pulled the toy back so he could see it properly. 

“Nice to meet you, Trevor.” He said to the toad, the great Severus Snape talking with a stuffed reptile. Severus heard a laugh from the other side of the room. He looked up just in time to see Neville look back down at the pot. 

Silas showed Severus every toy and book he had. He was shocked when the toddler sat through multiple books. Neville told him that Silas loved to read. What was the best part is that he sat in his lap the whole time.

“Si si 'ee Tophy, Pop Pop, ‘Arry, Char Char, and Gran,” Silas rambled. “S’vus goes zoo wif me.” Severus could think of better things to do, but he would go for Silas.

“You want me to go to the zoo with you? What is your favorite animal? Toads?” Severus tugged at the stuffed toad. 

Silas shook his head and pulled the toad closer.“No no no S’vus,  ‘ooncafs” Severus didn’t know what was. He looked over at Neville.

“Unca Harry and Unca Charlie just got Mooncalfs for the zoo. Alright, time to clean up for dinner. Clean hands please.” Silas jumped off his lap and ran towards Neville. “Walking feet please.” Neville bent down and picked up their son and went to wash their hands. He looked back at Severus. “You too, wash your hands.”

Severus raised his eyebrow but waited until they were done so he could wash his hands. When he turned around, he saw Neville and Silas sitting at the table. His heart pounded in his chest. This was real, Severus shook his head. He could do this. 

“S’vus,  sit wif me!” Silas bounced in the high chair. Severus sighed, then walked over and sat down next to the toddler.

Neville had the table set with bowls of steaming stew. It smelled wonderful. 

“Thank you Neville for dinner. It smells good. I’m shocked because of your abysmal potion-making.” Severus teased. The younger wizard glared at him, but there was maybe a hint of a smile.

“Well, if my potions professor wasn’t such an intimidating man, I might have been better at potions.” Neville teased back. Severus took a bite of the stew, it was rich and meaty.

“Pop Pop, read Si Si potens!” Silas took his green plastic spoon and dunked it into his stew. His son might like potion making, so he could start him early. 

“Maybe next time I can bring over some of my potion books and we can look at them? Would you like that little potion, master?” Severus leaned over and helped his son with a piece of potato. 

“YES! PEAS! Daddy S’vus bring books!” Neville smiled at his son and then looked over at Severus. 

“He loves to read. I’m sure you know that by now. I heard you read to him. You are good with him, Severus. I… I know what I did wasn’t right, Severus. I honestly didn’t know what to do when I found out that I was pregnant. All I can do now is give you every opportunity to spend time with him.” There were tears in the younger wizard's eyes. Severus, deep down, wanted to wipe every tear away. There is a part of him that wants to fight this attraction. Why should he? He is retired now? He has his own business? 

“I suppose it's only the opportunity with Silas and not with you? I know I don’t deserve to have it. I would like to though. We could talk more? With or without Silas around?” Severus didn’t sound like himself, but with Neville, he was never himself. 

Neville didn’t look up at him, Severus knew it was a long shot. Maybe if he would take his time and not rush.

“Severus, I… I think right now we should worry about your relationship with Silas. Soon we will tell him who you are and then maybe we can think about our relationship. I have a lot to lose with this Severus. It would be weird with Silas if we tried too soon, and it didn’t work out. Co-parenting is the number one goal right now.” Neville looked up at him. Those damn tears were still in his eyes.

Severus knew Neville was right. Silas was more important, and then he had been worried about Draco. Neville would be worth it, right? Or should he not pursue it in fear of rejection? 

“You’re right. Silas is important right now.” 

Neville

Neville chuckled as he helped Silas brush his teeth with his bright yellow toothbrush. His son’s lips were covered in white foam and he wriggled around to a song that only he could hear. 

“I have a wiggly boy tonight. All finished, you can spit now.” Silas spit toothpaste went all over. 

“Daddy, I ‘ee S’vus again?” Silas cocked his head to the side. His eyes are the same onyx color of Severus’s. 

“Yes Si Si, you will see Severus again. Did you have fun with him?” Neville saw his son had a wonderful time with the potion master. A pang of guilt went through him. He never second-guessed not telling Severus about Silas until tonight. 

“Ya! We go to ‘Arry an’ Gran’s zoo!” Neville picked up Silas who snuggled into him. The stress and worry of the day instantly melted away. 

“Oh, that is a great idea, Silas. What would you like to read tonight?” Neville asked as he sat down on the rocking chair.

“How dagons say ni’ ni’!” Neville accio’ed the book and opened the book.

“How do dragons say goodnight?” When the book was finished, Silas was fast asleep. The day wore him out. Neville got up slowly and placed his son on the cot. With one last kiss, he tiptoed out of the room. 

After a quick shower, Neville sat in front of the fire with a new romance novel about two men. One a muggle who owned a construction company, and the other made homemade lotions, soaps, and candles from bee wax. Anthony recommended it, which meant that it would be spicy. Neville learned quickly that the bookstore owner loved a good sexy read. 

Neville fell asleep on the couch halfway through the book. He couldn’t put it down.

Harry

Harry sat on the couch with Tooth and Fang. Tooth their floppy ear pup they adopted. Charlie finally told him that was the premonition he saw. So, of course, he had to have a new puppy.

Charlie was in the nursery. The redhead loved to put their son to bed. Harry was so happy when he found out he was pregnant again. When Luna told them she was pregnant, Harry talked Charlie into trying this time. His husband couldn’t tell his little pixy no.

“Little pixy, before I come to sit down, is there anything you want me to bring you?” Harry smiled and rubbed both of his dogs' ears. Harry was spoiled. 

“Yes, please, I need hot chips and peanut butter.” This little bear loved spicy things.

Charlie walked in with his hands full of snacks. “I brought candy as well. Let's watch a movie. We could fall asleep like we normally do.”

Harry kissed him when he sat down next to him. “Well, take those off and get comfy.” Charlie still does his affirmations, actually, they all do them each morning. Topher was so precious when he said them. His husband is more comfortable in his skin now and Harry couldn’t be happier. 

“How is our little bear tonight?” Charlie asked as he placed a hand on Harry’s stomach. He wasn’t that far along, but there was a tickle of magic. 

“Little bear is perfect. I just hope they don’t wake me up so early tomorrow.” Charlie frowned. “Don’t worry, it didn’t last long last time. Soon I’ll be all better. Remember how much fun it was last time?” Harry blushed when he thought about how much he needed Charlie in the later months. 

“Hmm, I remember. Though I hate that you are sick every morning.” Charlie kissed his cheek. 

“How was your day?” Harry asked as he dipped a hot chip into peanut butter. 

“I got a letter from Mum. I don’t know why she still doesn’t understand. She is worried about Percy. I’m actually worried about Percy. No one has seen him in a while. I know Dad sees him at work, but he hasn’t been over for family dinner.” Harry felt bad that Charlie didn’t have a relationship with his mother, but after what she said when Topher was born, he couldn’t blame him.

“Maybe you and Bill should take him to lunch soon. I know Percy isn’t my favorite brother-in-law, but he is still family, and I hate to think there is something wrong.” That earned Harry a kiss. 

“You’re right, little pixy. It’s what Weasley's do. We annoy until we get what we want.” Charlie bounced his eyebrows, which made Harry giggle.

“Yes, I know all about that.” Charlie pouted at him. “Don’t worry, I love the way you annoy me.” Harry slapped a loud kiss on his husband’s lips. 

“I promise to annoy you forever.”