Measured Love

Severus

Severus looked at himself in the mirror one last time before he left the bathroom. It had been a long morning. He kept thinking that he shouldn't meet up with Neville. In the end, he was going to meet with the younger wizard. They have a toddler together. 

A smile appeared on his lips when he thought about the boy. Silas was softer than Severus, but the only thing of Neville he has is his eyes. Never did he think he would ever have a child. Why would anyone want him to be the father of their child? It wasn’t like Severus had a loving father, that is one of the main reasons he didn’t want to be a father. If he was anything like his father, he shouldn’t have children.

Severus sighed. He had to leave now or he wouldn’t. When he walked into the living room to leave, Draco was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea and a book. 

“I’m leaving. I’ll be back later.” Severus stated, and the blond looked up at him.

*If you are going to the store, pick up more chocolate. We are out.* Draco signed quickly before he went back to reading his book. 

Severus didn’t answer. He wasn’t going to the store, so Draco would just have to deal with not having chocolate. The potion master took a deep, calming breath before he popped away. 

The nursery looked the same as it did the other day, though it was harder going this time. He knew who was in there and he had to bring up things he didn’t want to bring up. That he has pushed down for the past couple of years. 

Severus walked into the store like he did the day before. When the door jingled, he heard Neville’s voice.

“Sorry, we are closed.” The blond was writing something in a black leather-bound journal. His hair fell into his face as he bit his lip. Severus could sit and watch him all day. Neville hasn’t been out of his thoughts. Not since he left that night. 

“I know that is why I am here. You said that we would talk today, so I figured the best time to come would be at closing time. Was I wrong to assume that?” Severus strode into the shop, he stopped right in front of the counter. Neville’s head snapped up, his brown eyes wide with surprise.

“You didn’t forget I was coming, did you?” That shouldn’t have hurt Severus, but it did. This conversation was important to their future. He scoffed internally. Not that they had much of a future. Or that he wanted one… He lied to himself.

“No, I didn’t. I just didn’t know when you were coming. I’m almost done with the books and then we can talk. You can have a look around while I finish up.” Neville looked back down at the journal as he continued to work. 

“This is a nice nursery. Are you the only one that works here?” The owner probably only worked when Neville needed time off.

“Seeing as this is my shop, I have weekend help, but most of the time I work. Silas normally works with me. In the back, I have a full set up, even a little cot for him to sleep in. He loves being in the dirt.” Severus raised an eyebrow. Neville owned the shop? There were so many questions that he wanted to ask, but did he have the right to ask them? 

“How did you become a shop owner?” Severus questioned. Of course, it didn’t matter if he had the right. He wanted to know. Neville slammed the journal closed, and glared up at him.

“I bought this shop after the owner retired. For the first year, I worked and saved up for the down payment. His children didn’t want the shop, so he let me have it for pretty much nothing. If you want to follow me, we can have a cup of tea and talk.” Neville didn’t wait to see if Severus was going to follow him. 

The potion master followed him to the back of the store. They walked through the swinging door. It was just like Neville said there was a kitchenette, a small table, a bookshelf that had books and crates of toys. Silas’s cot was in the corner on top, looked like a homemade quilt.

“I assume that you have a lot of questions. Let me start with the basics.” Neville said as he filled the kettle. “Silas Franklin Longbottom was born on the 23rd of November. He was about 3.5 kilograms. Silas didn’t have any hair when he was born, so I didn’t know if he would have my blond hair or your black.” Neville remembered in a dreamy tone. “After he was born, I bought the shop. With the money I made, I bought a small house. It is about two minutes from Harry and Charlie, and five minutes from Hagrid and Barnaby. So I’ve done well with myself. I couldn’t have done it without my family. Barnaby and Hagrid are Silas’s grandparents. Harry and Charlie are his uncles. He is adored.” 

Severus didn’t know if Neville was trying to make it seem that he didn’t need Severus, or showing him he was a good father. Either way, Severus was impressed. Maybe he shouldn’t get involved. If Silas has that many people who love him, why would they need him? It wasn’t like he would make a good father. His father abused him and his mother. That was one of the main reasons that Severus never thought he would be a father.

“It looks like you have done well for yourself, Neville. Silas seemed to be happy and healthy when I saw him. I want to be honest with you, Neville. I'm not sure what I am doing here.”

Neville laughed and placed a cup of tea in front of him. “No sugar, a splash of milk.” Severus shouldn’t be shocked that he knows how he takes his tea. “That is a first. Severus Snape not knowing something! I have a question for you. Why are you here in America?” 

Severus took a sip of his tea, which gave him a moment to think of how he would answer. “I moved after I retired from teaching. I live in the country, near to here. I  own an owl delivery potion business. I wanted to get out of Britain so this place was as good as any.” Severus didn’t want to bring Draco or the guilt he felt from it. 

“Why did you leave?” The potion master asked without thinking. It was not really any of his business why he left. Though he had to know. “You didn’t give notice. You left everything behind after you worked hard for your apprenticeship. It was as if you fell off the face of the earth.” Severus kept the hurt from his voice. It was in the past. Neville didn’t owe him an explanation. 

Neville ran his fingers through his messy blond hair, his brown eyes wouldn’t meet his. After a drink of tea, the younger wizard answered. “I really don’t know what you expect me to say, Severus?”

“The truth, Neville adults, tell the truth.” Adults also are not afraid of feelings, Severus thought to himself. 

Neville

The truth, Severus wanted the truth. Neville slammed his cup down and paced around the back room. He wasn’t that scared of Gryffindor anymore. Severus wasn’t his scary professor anymore!

“You want to know the truth, Severus, here is the truth.” Tears burned his eyes, not from sadness, no, it was from anger. “I left because I had a one-night stand with the man I loved. I asked you out for Valentine’s Day. It took me forever to work up the courage to do so.” Neville laughed a humorless laugh. “How daft could I have been, honestly? The Severus Snape, dungeon bat, would want to date someone like me. You didn’t have a problem fucking me though, huh Severus?” 

Severus looked at him and shook his head. “You didn’t have an issue with it that night, Neville. You took part.” The potion master said, cooly. 

“Of course, I said yes. I loved you, Severus, one night with you was better than never having you at all! Gods, I was fucking stupid. When you didn’t kick me out that night, I thought maybe that you might have felt something too. Silly me to think that when the next morning you treated me like I was a whore that you picked up the night before. I know… I fucking know that you said it was just one time. It doesn’t change Severus!” Neville ran his fingers through his hair and pulled slightly.

“So I hurt your feelings, and you left your whole life? Over me?” Severus leaned back from the table and crossed his arms. Of course, the older wizard would say something like that. 

“Oh yes Severus, over you! Do you understand what happened back then? I lost my Gran, my best friend, who had the love of his life and a child. I had a man I was madly in love with and he didn’t see me that way. I had to see him every day. I couldn’t handle it. I guess I wasn’t brave about it. So yes Severus, I left because I was madly in love with you and I left because you rejected me!” Neville screamed, tears burning his eyes.

“There is nothing I can do about it now, Severus. If you want a relationship with your son, I will not keep him from you. You can come here and hang out. I don’t feel comfortable with you taking him out of the shop. If that is something you can agree on, then we will start tomorrow.” Neville took in a shaky breath. His feelings didn’t matter anymore. Silas had the right to know his other father, even though it would kill him to be around the man he still had feelings for, even though he shouldn’t. Why did the man look even better than he did?

Severus uncrossed his arms and leaned on the table. “I do have to work on potions during the day, but can I come after the shop closes?” 

Neville thought about it. That means he wouldn’t be around much because Silas goes to bed not too long after closing. The toddler usually has dinner, play, a bath then bed.

“That is fine.” Neville nodded and the potion master stood up. “Then I guess I will see you tomorrow after work.” 

Severus opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but then closed it. The potion master nodded and then stalked out of the room. If he had been wearing his infamous robes, they would have bellowed out behind him. 

Neville went over to the floo and grabbed a handful of powder with a shout of his destination; he was gone in the green flames. 

When he walked out of the fireplace at Barnaby’s and Hagrid’s. Topher was jumping on top of the half-giant. 

“Hop on gran, hop on gran!” The toddler giggled. Silas was cuddled up to Barnaby, holding on to his stuffed toad as the older wizard read him a story. 

“Topher you hopping on, Granda? My Si Si are you reading with Pop Pop?” Squeals filled the room as the two toddlers ran toward him. He picked up both of them and showered them down with kisses. After  Severus, this is what he needed. 

“Nev Nev, I hop on Gran!” Topher giggled as he bounced.

“Daddy, I read Pop Pop!” Silas pointed to Barnaby.

Neville laughed and squeezed them tight before he let them down. 

“Thanks for watching him a little longer today, Pops, Granda. He wasn’t too much trouble, was he?”

The half-giant laughed as he was tackled by both of the toddlers. Barnaby looked over at his husband and grandchildren and sighed.

“No, he was perfect, as always. Silas is my scholar. He sees everything and knows how it works. Topher is my adventurer. He loves his animals and plays. They both are very smart, sweet, and handsome!” Barnaby and Hagrid have changed his life for the better. It was like he had parents he never got to have. 

“They are great together. Just like brothers, I can’t wait till the new little one comes. Maybe it will be a girl.” Neville commented as he pushed away the jealousy. He wondered if Silas would ever have a sibling or if would he be an only child like himself. At least he had Harry now.

“Oh fingers crossed, it's a little girl. Harry and Charlie should be here soon. They had a healer appointment. They were going to stay for dinner. You are staying too. I know it was a long day, and it’s your favorite. I figured you would need it after today.” Neville didn’t want to go home to an empty house yet. 

“Sounds perfect Pops. Thanks.”

After dinner with his family, he took Silas home. After a quick bath and story before bed, Neville was all alone again. He was fine all day when Silas was awake, but as soon as he went to bed, Neville was all alone. 

Barnaby

Barnaby stood in the bathroom with his hair pulled out of the way. There was a moisturizing mask on his face and he had his toothbrush in his hand. 

“Ruby, I don’t like that this man has come back out of the blue. Our Neville was just coming out of his shell. That man is going to reverse all the confidence that I’ve instilled in him!” Barnaby squeezed toothpaste on his toothbrush and aggressively brushed his teeth.

“Love, I don’t think ya have anything to worry about. Our Neville is stronger than ya think.” His husband said as he walked into their bathroom with a matching mask and his curly hair pulled into a messy bun on top of his head. Barnaby smiled around his toothbrush. His half-giant was so cute. 

“You are probably right. I just worry. I love him. I love all my boys. What I need is for Harry and Neville to have more friends so I can adopt them. It's the best of both worlds. I get children that are grown and then they have babies! So I can spoil them!” Barnaby mumbled with a mouth full of toothpaste. He spit and was pulled into his husband's arms.

“I’m sure we will find more kids to adopt. Who wouldn’t want ya as a Da? Sometimes I think ya are the better Da.” Barnaby wrapped his arms around his husband’s middle. He shook his head. 

“Not possible. Ruby, you are the world's greatest dad, granda, and husband. I mean, look at you. You put up with my craziness.” Ruby leaned down and kissed him slowly. It stole his breath away. Barnaby’s eyes fluttered shut. 

“I’ll always put up with ya craziness because I love ya, Barnaby. Forever…and…ever..” His husband punctuated each kiss. Barnaby pressed himself as close as he could to his husband. With each kiss, his legs turned to jello. 

A buzz filled the room. It was from his wand, telling them it was time to wash off their mask. Barnaby groaned and pulled away from his husband. He looked up into his husband's dark eyes. Love and a little lust filled his eyes. Barnaby smirked up at him.

“Let's rinse off our mask, Ruby. Then I want you to take me to bed.” Barnaby bounced his eyebrows. They quickly washed off their mask. Barnaby squealed as the half-giant picked him up, bridal style. Ruby laid him gently on the bed. Barnaby pulled his husband to him, and they spent the night showing how much they loved each other.