three
As expected, it did take Remus many tries to find the owlery. But again: moving staircases? Once Remus reached the tower, he bound his letter to one of the many owls and sent it away. Warren said that having your own owl just meant that people could follow it and find out where you live, so they decided against getting Remus an owl. Looking over Hogwarts from this far up felt really crazy. Like a dream and Remus wasn’t sure yet if it was a good or bad one, but so far nothing too bad had happened, so he just pushed his worries down deep inside of him.
Remus took his time trying to find his way back, sometimes taking a detour to explore the castle a bit. Not too many students were around given it was shortly before curfew, so Remus felt pretty confident in himself. The setting sun let the castle glow in a beautiful orange and Remus could hear the trees rustling if he concentrated. It brought him some calmness while walking around the castle. Remus came to a halt in front of a high wall because he could hear a draft, which was pretty weird considering the windows were on the wall opposite to this one. He searchingly scanned the wall until his eyes fell onto a pretty high up windowsill, but he couldn’t see a window or the outside in general. Even onto tippy toes, Remus wasn’t even close to seeing why there was the sound of wind up there.
He quickly glanced around to make sure he was alone. With the map in his pocket, he tried to get a hold of the stones to climb up. Unfortunately, there wasn’t very much to hold onto, so Remus quickly gave up but not without trying his very best to jump as high as possible to just get a glance of what was going on there. No chance, the windowsill was way too high up. He put a little question mark on James’s map in order to investigate it another time with better skill.
Remus was ripped out of his theories of what (most likely dangerous thing) this school was hiding up there by the loud ring of a Glock. He should probably very quickly find his way back to his dormitory. The prefect seemed very serious about the curfew and he really didn’t want any trouble on his first day of being here. With quick steps and occasional glances at the map Remus found his way back to the portrait of the Fat Lady.
Remus looked for the handle to open the picture when he realized you needed a password to even enter. Right… password… He was very sure that the prefect mentioned it, but Remus wasn’t really listening to be honest. He scratched the back of his neck and tried to think really hard what the student had told them. Absolutely nothing came up in his mind. And what was he supposed to do now? Camp out in front of here? Could he knock? Or would he just accidently punch the Fat Lady?
“Not looking for trouble, are you?” A chirpy voice said from behind. Remus turned around to find a brown-haired girl, probably a bit older than him, standing with both her hands on her hips and raised eyebrows. Her hair was really short, like a boy’s haircut, which Remus had never seen before, but he thought that she looked quite pretty. He quickly shook his head. “I forgot the password…” He mumbled and didn’t dare to look up. “Oh, well that happened to me too during my first year.” She leaned down to him and whispered, “Still happens to me, if I’m honest.” She grinned at Remus which he reprocreated. “I’m Alice and you are?” She looked very friendly and Remus noticed that she had dimples while smiling. “I-i’m Remus.” He stuttered and his cheeks grew hot. “Well Remus, let me help you out.” She chuckled a bit and opened the door with the password.
Remus quickly followed her inside, still a bit flustered about the encounter. “You’re late.” The prefect who was seated in one of the couches spoke, without looking up from his book. Remus began fidgeting with the map in his hands. “Forgive us, Sir Barnet.” She bowed while grinning a bit. “We will enter our sleeping chambers right this second.” “You’re making me want to give you detention just for being an unbearable dalcop.” He spoke while shaking his head. “Start speaking like you’re out of this century Christian, please.” The prefect, Christian, just waved his hand dismissively. “Well, I wish you a good night, Remus. May we meet again.” At the last part Alice put a hand over her heart while making a rather funny face. Remus had to smile and wished her a good night as well. He liked her, she was funny.
While walking up the stairs Remus could hear snickering coming from within his dorm and quickly noticed that the door was slightly open. A little confused he entered the room and was met with his grinning roommates. “You already making the lady’s go crazy?” Sirius asked. “We didn’t expect you to be such an expert.” Peter was starting to laugh a bit while holding his stomach. “We just talked.” Remus shrugged, feeling rather nervous all out of sudden. “Yeah… talked.” Sirius put the last bit in quotation marks which made Peter laugh even harder. Remus just shook his head with a little smile on his face while handing the map back to James who was also looking rather amused by this whole situation.
“Come on, Lupin. Tell us your secret.” Sirius spoke up again while putting his hands together like he was praying. Something in Remus clicked when he said these words. What would he do if they found out? How was he even supposed to absolutely make sure that no one would ever find out? He bloody lives with them! Of course they’ll notice! And then there would be so much trouble and everything would go downhill. He couldn’t let that happen. “I don’t have to tell you anything.” Remus snapped rather aggressively while walking over to his bed and drawing the curtains shut.
He could hear Sirius mumble: “Well, that was rather weird. Told you guys he was odd.” Remus drew his eyebrows together and felt his eyes sting a bit. He wasn’t odd. Sirius was odd. He was sure of it. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s just shy?” James tried to reason to which Peter added: “No, I think he’s just weird.” Remus put his blanket over his head and tried to ignore the other boys. Couldn’t they at least talk quietly? Remus could hear every word they exchanged over him. Why was he so weird on the train? And he smelled kind of funny. More things were whispered about.
Remus could feel a few tears prickling down his cheeks, but he tried to keep as quiet as possible. He just wanted to go home. They were so mean. But that wasn’t the worst thing. They actually made him question himself. Was he really that weird? Warren never said anything. But maybe Warren was also weird? How would he know? He didn’t have contact with anyone besides him. Remus tried to think what was weird about him, but he didn’t really find anything that stood out to him. He didn’t understand the others.
Remus heard them going to the bathroom one after the other and go into their own beds. Soon enough he heard their breath slow and Peters quiet snore. Remus couldn’t sleep though. He was still trying to figure out what exactly was weird about him. The only thing he could think of that was seemingly different was, that his hair was more of a mop on top of his head. Sirius had chin-long wavy hair, which looked like flowing water. Peter had a pressed-down side part and looked rather put together with it. James’ hair was also messy, but more in a curly kind of messy. It still looked like a proper haircut. Remus hair just laid on his head, same length everywhere and a bit wavy. Warren cut it sometimes, but he’d never spend much thought about it.
He quietly stepped into the bathroom to brush his teeth and examined his face very closely in the mirror. Where do you even get a haircut at Hogwarts? Did he have to pay for it? He didn’t have any money… But Remus was sure, once he cut his hair the boys would find him normal as well. With a newfound plan, Remus marched back into his bed and quickly fell asleep.
2 days later
Remus didn’t feel very good, his body was aching to do something. Just not sit around and listen to Professor Flitwick talk about the right way to swing their wand to get their feather to fly. His palms were itching and the robes he was wearing were way too warm and heavy and just didn’t feel right. He expected it to be difficult to be an undercover werewolf with a school full of students, but he didn’t think it would be this hard to act normal two days before his transition. At home he would roam the forest or swim in the lake till his body almost gave out under him, but here at Hogwarts he had to sit still and concentrate.
“I want you all to raise your wand now and practice the movement with me. No words yet, just the movement.” Professor Flitwick spoke while climbing on top of his desk so everybody could see him properly. Remus wanted to fetch his wand but quickly realized that he didn’t have it on him. He must have left it on his bed, before quickly running to breakfast because he had to wait until Sirius was out of the bath so he could also take a shower.
“Do you not have your wand on you, Mister … ?” Flitwick looked at him. “Lupin. No, I’ve forgotten it in my room.” Remus answered honestly which earned him a few snickers from the students around him. What was so funny about that? Flitwick shook his head, “Well, Mister Lupin, then you will just have to watch this lesson.” Another snicker came from behind him to which Remus turned around to find out who was laughing at him. A black-haired boy in Slytherin robes was pointing at him and whispering something to his bank neighbor.
“Just ignore him.” James quietly told him. “Peter almost forgot his wand this morning as well.” Nobody was laughing about that though. Of course Remus would make a fool of himself the second day of school. If Sirius hadn’t taken so long to shower, Remus wouldn’t have been in such a hurry and wouldn’t have forgotten his wand. He was sure of it. Remus glanced over at him waving his wand in the desired movement. Posh prick. Remus just crossed his arms, stared at the feather in front of him and tried to zone out.
It was all going so well and then Sirius came along and made everything complicated. If he’d just met James and Peter he wouldn’t be sitting here now being made fun off. Sirius also made him look like he was stupid on the train! As if he didn’t know how to introduce himself. He was able to talk to people! He was the one to talk to an older student and they were jealous. He knew it, they were! And then Sirius had to come along and interrogate him. So nosy. He’ll show him that he’s capable! He’ll show him tha- boom!
Remus nearly jumped out of his seat, just like James and the other boy next to him. The white feather, which was now black, slowly sunk down in front of him, back onto the desk. “Mister Lupin, do you think that is funny? Where are you hiding your wand?” Professor Flitwick demanded to know while climbing down from the desk to walk over to Remus. “I don’t have my wand on me.” He replied, still a bit shocked from the little explosion. “Fine. You will stay after class to clean that table.” Flitwick walked back to his own desk, “Quiet now. We will continue our practice.”
Did he just accidentally do that? Sure he was a bit angry, but he didn’t mean to burn down that feather. He really needed to get himself under control. “Oi mate, what was that?” James nudged him in the side. Remus could feel a few burning stares on him, including the one from Sirius. He shrugged, “I don’t know. I didn’t mean to do that.” He averted his gaze back to his not-so-white feather, not wanting to discuss it. “Bullshit. Why are you lying?” Sirius stared at him with squinted eyes as if he was trying to read his mind. “Am not.” Remus shot back a nasty glare, to which Sirius shook his head and started to follow the lesson again.
Remus really needed to calm down, but he was really on edge. His general nervousness was only amplified by the full moon so close. Plus not knowing where he will go during his transformation and the feeling like he’s forgotten every excuse Warren made him learn as to why he will be missing the whole night. All in all it was a very unfortunate situation and Remus just wished to be back at the hut where he could do as he pleased.
After class was over and all the students left the room, Remus was lectured about safely practicing magic and had to scrub his desk by hand. He didn’t mind the cleaning bit, like that he was actually alone for a few minutes and could do something with his hand which otherwise were mostly fiddling which whatever was close. As he was about to leave the classroom the door was opened for him and James, Sirius and Peter walked in.
He looked at them with question marks in his eyes and could basically feel the nervous energy bouncing off of each other. When nobody started speaking Remus wanted to ask them if they needed something. But just as he was about to form that question, James started and kept looking at Sirius expectantly, “Ehm… We just talked and.. well and…” Sirius chimed in, “We wanted to say sorry for being mean. You happy now, Potter?” Remus scratched his neck, Merlin was this weird. “Will you stop it.” James sent Sirius a pointed look. “Well it was your idea…” Sirius mumbled while staring at his feet.
“Eh.. it’s fine I guess…” Remus shrugged and wanted nothing more than to just leave. “Okay, well that’s nice. Do you..” James looked over at Peter who immediately averted his gaze. “Do you really don’t have your wand with you?” Sirius finished James’ sentence and looked back up and tilted his head a bit. “No, I swear. It’s probably still on my bed.” Remus held up his hands defensively. Sirius seemed to be thinking about the statement. “Well then, that’s pretty cool. I’ve never made anything blow up.” Remus didn’t really know what to say to that and started fidgeting with his robes. “Can you teach me how to…” Peter spoke up, “I don’t know. Like help me? Nothing came out of my wand and if you can do it without then I’m sure you could show me how to do it with a wand.” Peter looked pleadingly towards him. “Yeah, I mean I can try. I don’t even know how I do it…” Remus answered feeling a little fluttered.
James clapped into his hand. “Wonderful lads. Now that we’re good again, maybe Mister Lupin is ready to join us for lunch and not show up five minutes before the food is gone?” He said while grinning. “Oi! That was not my fault. Sirius showered for like two hours this morning.” Remus said with a scandalized tone. “Well, what can I say. Beauty takes its time.” Sirius said while bouncing his hair with his hands. “Don’t think any time can save that wig of yours.” James said laughingly which earned him a slap on the arm from Sirius. Remus grinned to himself, maybe he was just overreacting a bit before. They seemed pretty okay after all…