Model For Me

Remus was finishing his work, when he saw a missed call from Sirius. So after he did everything he had to, he left the building and dialled him, thinking it was all about Lily's today's birthday party. They both agreed on making a mini-photoshoot in his and Lily's flat, so Remus had to let him in. He didn't really know what Sirius and James wanted to take to their flat, but Sirius said they needed time before Lily was back, best around an hour. So James had a quest of delaying Lily's coming and had to take her somewhere. Remus had no idea what he planned, but either way, he wished him good luck. And Remus decided he'll help Sirius with carrying the stuff.

"I'm off," Remus said after hearing Sirius answered the phone.

"And I'm on the way," he admitted. "Will be in five, I think."

He was earlier, though. Around three minutes after the words, Sirius' car appeared in the car park, and after Remus got in, they took off to Remus' flat.

And it was weird for Remus to see all these things he couldn't name, rolled and folded, in the back of the car.

Sirius glanced at Remus, who was constantly looking back, trying to see if he can recognize photoshoot equipment. The only things he could name were a bag, with a camera probably, and a backdrop. 

"There are some filters, tripod, reflectors, flash and stuff needed. You'll see everything when we'll get it to your place."

And Remus accepted this answer. It's not like he never saw the things, he just didn't know the names. And the use, really.

After they arrived, Sirius and Remus started to move things into the flat. It took them three rounds, but when they finally finished, Sirius asked if they may move furniture to the wall. So they pushed the settee, the table, and all the furniture in a place where it wasn't in the way. Then Sirius started to set up the backdrop with Remus' little help, and after, he started to examine it, for the purposes not known to Remus.

Remus thought he'll play some music, getting a warm, but unfocused smile from Sirius.

It was really busy, actually. Remus thought they would have to place a few things, and it would be done, but in the end, it required a lot of setting things up, a lot of adjusting, a lot of arranging, before it was ready. Sirius was really efficient, though, and seemed to do things almost unconsciously, but Remus observed him enough to know, he was focused on his task. Also, Sirius commented on everything they did, so Remus got to know all the names he was curious about. They set up the camera on a tripod, and then placed light stands, lights, lighting modifiers and a flash trigger, making the place looking strangely professional. Maybe not strangely, more like uncommonly. Because, well, Remus and Lily kept their place tidy, but there always was something lying around, like books, notes, abandoned jumper or some chocolate bars. But at this moment Remus was looking at his place and saw things that were where they supposed to be. And it was… professional. Too little homey, for Remus' taste. But then Sirius left for a few moments, a came back with a medium-sized cardboard box.

"I thought we've done everything?" Remus asked and Sirius grinned, before opening the box. In it, were party decorations that both, Remus and Sirius, started to take out and decorate the room with. And after that, the place looked far more cosy.

Sirius messaged James, when they finished and along with Remus, they sat on the settee, that was pushed against the wall.

"I think we did a good job," Remus said. Sirius nodded.

"James has some props in his car, I hope Lily won't notice."

"James took Lily somewhere in his car?" Remus asked surprised. Sirius smiled at him lazily.

"Yes, this prat literally told her it's her birthday, so he should buy her something as a present."

"And Lily agreed?" Remus inquired.

"Oh, no. That would be too lovely. James's just as stubborn, though. And they compromised on doing grocery shopping together and James have to pay."

"Lily will try to shop as little as possible, because she hates feeling as if she took advantage of someone."

"And we've even discussed it with James," Sirius chuckled. "And agreed, it's for the best. Because we needed time to set things up, and what's more time-consuming than a grocery shopping that include all time disagreeing on what you buy and what not?"

"I can see Lily being so pissed off already."

"Maybe the idea of us doing her a party will ease her off a little," Sirius said, and Remus gave him a questioning look. "Buying alcohol might have raised her suspicion."

"Oh, definitely," admitted Remus. 

Remus and Sirius haven't been sitting for long, for James and Lily to come. They were bickering, but when Remus caught James' eye, he grinned and winked at him. Remus stifled a laugh and took some groceries to put it in the refrigerator.

"But I'm paying for your groceries James, on your birthday, when is it?" Lily said, with irritation in her voice, and headed to the kitchen, but stopped midway, her eyes focused on equipment occupying most space in the sitting room.

Lily was frozen in place, until she straightened her back and looked straight at Sirius, who was all cheeky smiles.

"You," she said.

Sirius bowed with a gesture of taking off his imaginary hat. "Happy birthday."

"You git," she replied, and in three long steps was hugging Sirius. He hugged her back, but glanced at James from above her shoulder. Lily withdrew and with arm on Sirius waist she studied her surrounding. "Thank you guys, it'll be a funny event, I believe."

Remus smiled, James beamed and Sirius grinned, because they all were happy that Lily was happy.

"We have tradition, though," Remus announced. He put out flour, eggs, butter, sugar, salt, milk and baking soda, and though Lily smirked, James and Sirius were too, probably guessing what's going on.

"We're baking a cake?" James asked.

"That we are," Lily confirmed.

Remus could see that James and Sirius were interested, so he started explaining. "We have tradition with Lily. For our birthdays we bake a cake and for some add-ons we take whatever we've got in the refrigerator or in the flat in general."

"For last Remus' birthday, we added multiple crumpled chocolate bars. In many flavours."

"It was sick," Remus laughed.

"So sweet, we couldn't finish it."

"We couldn't, but we did."

"Zero waste in this house."

"Even at the expense of our health."

"We've been doing cakes in small sizes since our fiasco two years ago, when we decided to add fruit jelly candies to our dough."

"I still don't know what we did wrong, jellies are totally tasty," Remus shrugged. "But yeah, thanks to that, we could eat our sickly sweet cake. I guess small sizes aren't that bad."

James and Sirius exchanged glances.

"So the plan is, we're doing a cake that will be probably the worst thing we'll ever eat?"

"Yeah?" Lily smiled broadly.

"Sounds fun," Sirius grinned too, and fist-bumped James.

Remus thought it would be cliché, and they would all end up with flour on their faces, with eggs in the hair or any other kind of kitchen essentials on their bodies. They didn't though. It was pure chaos, with James and Sirius doing the same things Lily and Remus did, because of the miscommunication and after the third time, James did the same thing as Remus, they decided on doing two cakes and a baking contest. So challenge it was, and this baking experience taught Remus that Potter boys took nothing as seriously as a good challenge. Remus has never experienced such focused baking period, but on the team with Lily, they, too, handled it professionally.

During their baking battle, Lily got a message from Dorcas and thought she will invite everyone they were closer with from JSMD. "We'll have two ugly and probably disgusting cakes, the more people, the less we have to eat," she said. Pandora and Mary couldn't make it on this short notice, but Marlene and Dorcas said they would be in twenty.

They put the cakes in the oven just in time, for the bell to ring.

"Come in, come in," Lily invited guests inside.

"Happy birthday, Birthday Girl!" Remus heard Dorcas calling. He could imagine how Dorcas hugged Lily the moment she saw her. After a bit, Lily with lily flowers, Dorcas and Marlene entered the kitchen where Remus, Sirius and James were talking. All of them looked at the latest guests, and Sirius hummed loudly.

"It's quite unusual for both of you to come together on such a short notice," he said, his voice contemplative. "What were you two doing together?"

Marlene's blush sold her out, but even if she put some effort in hiding it, Dorcas' smirk told them everything.

"Jealous?" she asked Sirius and glanced at Remus. He raised his eyebrows at her.

"What are you actually doing?" Marlene asked, looking at the photoshoot equipment.

"Baking cakes," James said innocently.

"Oh, are we having homemade gâteau?" Dorcas peeked at the oven door glass. "I can't see anything, you should clean this thing."

Remus glanced at Lily at the same time she did.

"But then you would see what we're baking," Remus commented.

"Well, that's why I have eyes, right?"

"Sirius is taking our photos today?" Marlene asked.

Sirius gave her thumbs up.

"We're waiting for cakes first, though," Lily said. Then she perked up. "You could actually be impartial judges. You won't know which cake is whose."

"Oh, so you're competing," Marlene sounded excited. She exchanged glances with Dorcas. "I actually love cakes, so you'll have to try to stop me from eating everything," Marlene winked in their direction. Remus stifled a laugh and saw he wasn't the only one.

"Sure," he shrugged.

And after some time, the alarm went off, so they all smiled excitedly and brought out their pastries.

Dorcas saw it first. "What is this shit?" she asked and didn't even try to conceal her repulse. She was looking at Remus and Lily's cake, and Remus appreciated James and Sirius' poker faces. No one should know which one cake is theirs.

"It smells nice, though?" Marlene tried to comfort them.

And it did, smelled nice. Remus couldn't turn down chocolate base, so it had a lot of cocoa, and it did look like shit. But Remus believed it wouldn't be so unsavoury as it seemed. It had a lot of peanut butter in it, and some chocolate chips. On the cake, which shape wasn't really neat, there was caramel, that Lily made quickly, and poured on popcorn they found in the cupboard and placed on the cake. Remus thought it would be a great combination of sweet and salty flavours. He had to admit, though, it didn't look well-formed.

And when they brought out the second cake, Remus thought they didn't really have any chances. James and Sirius' cake looked as neat, as if it came straight from a bakery. He didn't even know they had tools to make cake look like this. He would ask about that later, though. Remus wondered how James did the icing so smooth. And he knew it was James, because he saw him holding a spatula. He also knew they were brewing the tea and cooked frozen fruits. They decorated the cake with dried fruits and some fresh ones. It was also spilled with something that looked like honey and yogurt.

"I'm totally starting with the bright one," Dorcas wrinkled her nose.

Marlene looked at dark cake sceptically. "Then, I guess, I will try out the chocolate one."

"Oh, right," James clasped his hands. "Any allergies?"

"I'll tell you if Sirius leaves the room, I don't want any information used against me."

Sirius rolled his eyes, and Dorcas grinned. It was Marlene, who said, "We have none."

So Remus gave them mini forks, and they all waited with anticipation. Dorcas and Marlene, both, took a slice of their cakes and looked at each other, before putting it in their mouths at the same time.

"Crap, it tastes like shit," Dorcas said to everyone's surprise. She looked at Marlene, who was eating Remus and Lily's cake without a grimace. "Why aren't you pulling a face?"

Marlene looked like she was pondering on something. "It's surprisingly… tasty. Like…" she wondered. "It's really sweet, and I don't think I can eat a lot without getting sick, and the dough is a bit dry, but I love how it tastes, really. I like the combination of sweet and salty. And peanut butter really did a well job. It may be really sweet, but it's still delectable and full-flavoured."

Remus tried not to look smug, but if he concealed his emotion the same as Lily, he knew he did a poor job.

"All right, give me this," Dorcas said and stuck her fork into the dark cake. She managed to take a bit with a popcorn. After she pulled it into her mouth, she made a surprised face. "It's delicious," Dorcas admitted, taken aback.

"And they say not to judge a book by its cover," Remus sighed.

"Shut up, I can see it's yours, you know," Dorcas stuck out her tongue. Remus shrugged.

"Wasn't going to deny it," Remus smirked.

"Oh," Marlene said suddenly. Everyone looked at her. Remus noticed she was unnaturally pale. "I'm sorry," she added, pulling the plate with Sirius and James' cake away from her. "I don't think I'm able to compliment this one. It looks nice, though?" She spoke and took another piece of chocolate-sweet-and-salty cake. Remus supposed it was to get rid of the taste on her tongue.

"I believe we should eat cake made by James and Sirius first, so we'll be left with a taste of our cake at the end." Lily commented easily. Sirius glared at her.

"It can't be that bad," he said, and took a piece himself. "Never mind," he admitted.

James just laughed. "I guess the tea wasn't such a good idea."

"I knew I've tasted the tea!" Marlene sighed.

"I'm not sure only the tea was the problem," Dorcas commented, straightforward as always.

"Is there alcohol, though?" Remus asked after taking a bite.

"Of crap, true!" Lily sounded surprised.

"Did you combine tea with alcohol? In the cake?" Marlene asked incredulously. "Blasphemy…"

"And a waste of a cake," Dorcas added.

"I think it wasn’t such a bad idea, though," James said, making everyone look at him with a surprise. "You wouldn't eat it sober, would you?" he spoke, and everyone laughed. Remus and James brought beers and other alcohol beverages, which everyone took eagerly.

And they talked, and laughed, and ate, and this way, when the photoshoot time came, they all were slightly tipsy. It wasn't much, but they tended to laugh more, and were a bit flushed, but they acted rather as usual.  

Everyone wanted as many as possible photos with Lily, so she generally wasn't leaving the photoshoot background, but around half an hour later, she just raised her hands, surrendering.

"Guys, I think you should take some photos with each other, too," she said.

"Wait, we haven't taken a photo with all of us together," Sirius noticed. "Pose, all of you, I will set the timer, so I will be in there, too."

After a few group photos, a few were taken of James and Sirius together, then them with Marlene and Dorcas, then they took Remus in. He was afraid he looked a bit sheepish on this one, but when he saw it, he looked like an amused boy playfully bullied by his friends.

"Cute," Lily commented, seeing the photo. Remus only smiled.

"Wait, I want a photo with you," Dorcas pulled Marlene into the photo frame.

Dorcas pulled Marlene closer, and Sirius started taking photos, while the girls were posing in different ways. Then Dorcas, in the last moment before the flash, took Marlene head between her hands and kissed her. A flash lighted up their faces, Dorcas half-smug in the kiss and Marlene surprised. It was almost automatic, how the room erupted with cheers and clapping. When Dorcas gave Marlene a break, both of them were flushed. Dorcas full-smug though, and Marlene rolling her eyes, still smiling.

"Wolf Boy, come to us, we want a photo!" Dorcas called, but Remus shook his head.

"No way," he said. "If that's the way you're taking your photos, I will refuse being in a triangle with both of you."

Dorcas laughed, but it was Marlene, who answered. "C'mon Remus, you don't have to be in a triangle with us, we'll abandon Dorcas after this."

Dorcas didn't comment on this, but she smirked either way. "Wait," she said, "So if it's not us you want to be in a triangle with, then who is it?"

Remus didn't answer, though. He was pushed into girls, and when he looked back, he saw it was Lily who pushed him.

So he took his photos with Marlene and Dorcas, and it was the most playful and teasing photos he took this day.

"Don't leave the scene, Remus!" James called, when the girls left the backdrop. Remus stilled. "Pads, you don't have photo alone with Remus, yet, go."

So Sirius stood next to him, and they were standing like this, before Lily started to laugh.

"Guys," she said, still chuckling. "I don't think you were this tense earlier."

"Take this, mate," Dorcas held beer for Sirius to take. He just did it, drinking around half of it in a few gulps. Remus stifled his laugh. "You need some, too?" Dorcas asked, offering Remus a can that Sirius gave her back.

"No, thank you," he smiled at her. Dorcas winked and left them. "So, James, since you're taking photos, now, how should we pose?"

James beamed. "I want you to face each other, first."

Remus turned himself to face Sirius, and the boy in front of him did the same. They looked each other into the eyes, it was unmeant, they just did it. It was the first thing, Remus was seeing in Sirius, when looking at him. These grey, beautiful eyes. The light flashed over them. Sirius blushed, and a flash lighted them up again. Remus laughed, and it happened again, and he could imagine already how the photos would look like. Both of them, acting kind of shy, but either way, focused on each other.

Remus put his arms on Sirius shoulders and pulled him closer into a hug. Sirius must have been surprised at first, because it took him a few moments before he returned the gesture.

It was just a hug, and it wasn't at the same time. Remus was hugging and was hugged by everyone he took photos with, but it was Sirius, not his best friend Lily, or easy-going Dorcas. It was Sirius, who he was attracted to, and the touch between them felt differently. Remus wasn't shy, but if he had to choose a person he was the least confident with, it was Sirius. Because Remus knew that the black-haired boy found him attractive, but he still wanted to be the best version of himself, when he was with Sirius. Remus didn't really want to feel this way, he wanted to be natural and liked or loved for who he is, but it still was subconscious sometimes.

He felt Sirius relaxing into their hug a bit, and Sirius' nose tickled his neck. After this, all poses felt natural, so they could hold each other, tease each other, look at each other comfortably and a lot of flashes meant a lot of photos to look through later. Remus could see Lily smiling at most photos, but he surely had to ask about the one she grinned after seeing.

Remus had no idea how long it took them to finish the photoshoot. After his and Sirius' photos, the next ones contained much more group setups. And the photoshoot was officially finished, when Marlene and Dorcas had to leave.

Remus was really content, though. Lily looked genuinely happy, he himself felt like he bonded a bit with James, Marlene and Dorcas. They all bonded. There were some smiles exchanged between Lily and James, a lot of cheek kisses between Lily and Dorcas, tipsy hugs between Lily and Marlene and jokes with Sirius. They all talked loudly, joked a lot, and Remus felt closer with all of them. And he was content, because he saw the face of Sirius as a photographer. He looked a bit different from usual. He almost always seemed energetic, radiating energy and nearly bouncing. But this time something was different.

Sirius' smiles were happier, sincerer, it had more easiness. Remus probably never seen him this joyful. Heaven, he really was so beautiful, while smiling like this. He shined his own light. Authentic gleam, as if the flash from the camera wasn't enough for him. And Remus wanted to take all this light to himself. To be surrounded by this happy light, shined upon, and for this light to brighten all the darkness around. Like it did on the night sky. Remus wanted to embrace this light, to not let it out and just own it, just like Sirius did. And he wanted… So many times this day, Remus wanted to hold Sirius, to kiss him, to take his hand. He wanted Sirius to be his. But how could... how could a person own a star.

Because, Remus came to the conclusion, Sirius was so bright, because he was like a star. Or maybe he was a star itself. Beautiful in the way nothing else could be. Having his own, unique charm. Lightening the room. Owning his beauty. Enchanting Remus, making him believe he wasn't capable of resisting. Stars were so distant, though. How could he reach the sky?

"Remus?" Lily nudged him. He looked at her a bit distant. "All right?"

"Yeah," Remus smiled at her, and pulled her to his side with a side-hug.

After Dorcas and Marlene' leave, the party carried on, on the floor and a settee, where they talked, drank and told stories. They even talked about JSMD, how they bought the company from someone else, how they made it over and changed the name. They talked about how easily they found models, without real criteria, just found people they liked and found them interesting to use them as models. They talked about eating disorders, how they’re lasting in the fashion industry, and how many fashion houses have been departing from the idea of a perfect model with eating disorders, and that it's a good change, not to encourage unhealthy weight lose.

"There are companies, now, that are denying potential models that are too thin," James said. "It's not that often, but it's happening and it's good. It's better for people not to believe they have to be thin to be found beautiful. And we want to show people that different weights can be found perfect for every person."

"We wish the less skinny the image of a perfect body was, the fewer people would struggle with their minds. It's a wish, though, we don't know if it's working."

And the topics were so different, like the important ones, the funny ones, the serious ones… Sirius admitted he was disowned at the age of sixteen, after he left home.

"They disowned me, kicked me out, call it like you want to," he said, looking at the floor. He lifted his head. "The official version is because I came out as a gay, the real version is that they just hated me, and searched for a reason."

There was a moment, when lights suddenly turned off. All of them laughed and moved to the window, leaning on the windowsill and watching the night sky.

Remus was hypnotized by stars, as usual, when Sirius' quiet voice sounded in the silent room. "I have this impression that many people are looking at the night sky and seeking stars, not the moon."

Remus was quiet for a few moments, before he answered. "Well, stars are everywhere and a beautiful sight to see. Looking at the moon, you're loosing view of all these stars."

"Oh, but a moon…! What a sight to see…" Sirius sighed.

"Moon is kind of like Remus, isn't it?" Lily suddenly whispered.

"Our Moony," Sirius chuckled, and James repeated the sound. All of them were looking at Remus, which he saw thanks to the dim lights from outside the window.

And then lights were back, they sat down and talked more, and more.

"And she asked me why I'm not a model, you know?" Sirius sighed, all flushed and pissed. "And I answered her that it's better I'm behind the camera, because I would be made a face of JSMD the moment the first photo of me would be out. Siriusly, I'm famous for my looks, even as a photographer."

Lily chuckled, pissed as well. Remus believed he was the least drunk among his friends, excluding James who haven't been drinking at all, skipping the cake bit.

"Who would have thought you're so confident," she giggled.

"That's because confidence give you strength," Sirius said, nodding to himself. And then he smirked. "And I know, I'm rather good-looking."

"And yet," Lily took a sip of her water, before continuing. "When with Remus, you're such a stuttering mass."

"Oh," Sirius smiled and looked at Remus softly. "Well, Remus is prettier than I."

Remus was so taken aback, that he was surprised he managed to see Lily looking at Sirius with fondness and James cracking up.

And it was like this most of the night, with four of them changing topics, speaking confidently and with a trust, and after everything, falling asleep on the floor.

Waiting to be awake all in pain, but happy and comfortable with each other like never before.