Chapter 17
Regulus
Talking to Remus helps. He’s older, less emotional than Regulus and always knows what to say. Remus is the kind of friend you want to have if you ever commit a murder and want to get away with it – he won’t ask you any questions except ‘what is our next move?’ He is someone you want to have on your side if you ever throw a fight, and someone you would come to for advice on literally any situation, whether it be fucked up relationship with your brother or your love life which is just equally fucked. Confessing to Remus about James was as easy as talking about the weather, even though the feeling of relief didn’t last for long. After all, the life of a Black has never been an easy one.
So, at dinner Regulus gets a letter. He hasn’t got one in a while, and he opens it carefully, as if trying to buy himself some time before facing the harsh reality. The letter consists of three sentences only and they make all of Regulus’ insides shrink.
‘Dear cousin,
We are expecting great things from you. Checking up on the 10th at midnight. You know where to find me.
B’
Regulus clenches his hand into a fist and curses under his breath. This is what happens when you let some special someone occupy your mind: you lose both track of time and survival instincts.
‘Rosier, Crouch, have you seen Lupin?’ he turns to Evan and Barty.
‘Not since Transfiguration. Why?’ asks Evan.
‘Nothing, it’s just- whatever. Any idea where he might be?’
‘A bird told me your brother came to see Lupin in the dungeons,’ he smiles cunningly and winks at Dorcas.
Regulus turns to the girl and looks at her questioningly.
‘Meadows? Care to elaborate?’
Dorcas puts away her cup of tea.
‘There’s nothing much to say, actually. Your brother was insulting Snape, I was talking to Remus about tonight’s party when I saw him. Next we heard Snape raise his voice, Remus interfered and then left with your brother – I didn’t even get a “goodbye”. No idea what happened after, he didn’t show up to the common room and he wasn’t in the library, either. Me and Mar – a friend – spent the whole evening there. Haven’t finished my Potions essay, though,’ she sighs.
‘Interesting,’ Regulus murmurs.
‘What business does our Lupin have with Black? No offense, Regulus, but your brother isn’t the best company for respectable lads like us,’ Barty smirks.
‘None taken. I’m just as surprised as you, Crouch,’ half-lies Regulus.
‘What are you and Lupin up to, anyway?’ asks Barty suddenly. ‘You’ve been plotting for weeks now and haven’t said a word to us.’
‘It shouldn’t concern you, Crouch. Be the good friend you are and stay out of my business.’
Dorcas smirks. ‘Exactly, Crouch, it’s not like-’
‘It applies to all of you,’ cuts off Regulus. ‘This is the first and the last time I’m asking you all to fuck off. When and if we are ready to talk to you, you’ll know. But for now, please, stop asking questions. Neither of us is going to talk, so save your breath and our time.’
‘Reg, we just want t—’ begins Evan but Regulus just brushes him off.
‘It’s a private matter, Rosier. I appreciate your interests and concerns, but keep it to yourself, please. I’m off, see you later,’ Regulus says before leaving.
‘Will you at least come to the party?’ Barty shouts at his back.
Regulus ignores him and simply rolls his eyes.
His legs carry him straight to the Astronomy Tower. So many things have happened here in the past two months, and the air feels thick as though it contains all of Regulus’ memories of the restless nights he spent here. The last words he said to James are still stinging in his ears, and he asks himself for the millionth time about the reasons why he should care, especially given the fact that there are more important things going on in his life right now – like, for one, Bella calling on him in a bit more than a week and Regulus having absolutely no idea about what to do about the Cup. Yet, Potter’s puppy eyes are stuck in his head like a fly in a honey jar, and Regulus is too exhausted to do anything about it.
He takes the tarot deck out of his robes looking for the Cup card in hopes that visual representation will help him come up with some genius idea. Regulus is wrong. Not only does his mind completely shut down, but his body is also giving up, and eventually he drifts off. Surviving off caffeine and one hour of sleep a day will only get you so far. Regulus should’ve known better than push his limits, but did he really have a choice?
‘You deserve happy,’ Dorcas once said to him. Well, does he, really? So many lives ruined already, and Regulus hasn’t even tried to do anything destructive yet. How far can one go before he loses everyone? Maybe not as far as Regulus primarily thought. Add to that the Cup issue, weeks of reading the stuff he never thought was even possible, the Sirius problem, maintaining the reputation of a perfect student – and any questions regarding Regulus’ physical and mental state vanish into thin air.
He thinks of Evan and Barty and wonders whether they would understand him and would see the logic behind his actions. If Rosier and Crouch are as serious about joining the dark side as they claimed during the summer, Regulus is fucked. One wrong move – and he’s out of the game. Out of life, really. There are so many ways in which things can go wrong, and involving Remus right in the midst of it was a very selfish move. Yet, without his best friend, Regulus doubts he could ever handle so much pressure at once.
Regulus has always been a step ahead in everything. Now he feels like he is at least twenty steps behind.
Remus
Remus comes to the Slytherin common room when the Halloween party is in full swing. He can tell that all the decorations are Dorcas’ work, and he thinks guiltily that he was supposed to be the one helping her with them.
Barty throws at him a concerned look and, barely standing on his feet, makes his way through the crowd of drunk wizards.
‘Reeeeemuuuusss, mate! I thought you weren’t coming. Grab a drink and join us!’
‘I’m good, Barty. Just looking for Cas.’
‘Regulus has been looking for you, you know,’ Barty licks his lips.
Remus looks at him confusedly. He and Regulus were supposed to meet at 10 but it’s only half past 8.
‘Take it as a “no”,’ Barty sighs. ‘Whatever is going on with you two, I’m on your side, lads. And so is Evan. And Dorcas. And Pandora, ‘course.’
‘You have no idea what you are talking about, Crouch,’ Remus shakes his head.
‘Maybe,’ Barty shrugs, ‘but what I do know is that you’re deep in dog’s shit. Thought I wouldn’t find your books on dark magic, eh?’ he smiles wryly.
‘Crouch,’ Remus starts threateningly but Barty cuts him off.
‘Don’t worry, my mouth is sealed. Just give it a thought, mate. Tell Regulus I said "hi" when you see him.’
Barty squeezes Remus’ shoulder and disappears among the dancing bodies.
‘And then I wonder why the migraines never end,’ Remus thinks to himself.
Life has been unfairly hard on him lately. The Quidditch incident, an awfully bad full moon, too much of the older Black (which is good but not under these circumstances), and loads of reading English-Latin dictionaries along with even a bigger number of books on dark magic – he can never catch a break. Remus never took Barty for a thief but maybe keeping forbidden literature in a trunk under the bed in the room he shares with two 15-year-old brats who have never heard of privacy wasn’t the wisest decision Remus has ever made. It was probably one of the dumbest given that Remus failed to keep Regulus’ secret. Technically, it’s not his fault, but if there is anyone to blame here – it’s Remus.
‘Lupin! Hi!’
‘McKinnon? What are you doing here?’ Remus looks at the girl with surprise.
‘Considering the possibility of enlarging my social circle,’ she snorts. ‘Kidding, this lot is awful. They are so drunk they won’t even remember I was here.’
‘So, why are you here?’ Remus asks her again.
‘Spending quality time with my girlfriend. I barely see her these days, thought I could steal her for an hour or two.’
‘Heard you spent the whole evening in the library, though.’
‘Watching Cas write some bullshit for Slughorn doesn’t fit my idea of a “perfect date”.’
Remus smirks.
‘Fair enough. So, you two are not out yet?’
‘No, of course not. If we were, Slytherins would be the last ones to know.’
‘Ouch.’
Marlene rolls her eyes.
‘Whatever. So, have you seen my girlfriend?’
Remus shakes his head.
‘I’m actually looking for her, too.’
‘Didn’t know Cas had so many admirers,’ Marlene smirks.
‘I am her most devoted one,’ Remus puts his hand to his heart.
‘You are so wrong here.’
‘I am so not,’ he says innocently.
Marlene lets out a laugh and hands him a drink.
‘Thanks.’
‘Cheers, Lupin.’
‘Cheers, McKinnon.’
They sit down on a sofa in the corner of the room – the most privacy they can get in a place where everyone’s dancing, singing, drinking, and snogging. Remus notices Evan dancing with some Ravenclaw girl, completely unaware of a drunk Barty wilting them with his gaze just at an arm’s length.
Marlene talks casually about the last Quidditch practice and how nice it feels to have a girl-captain for a change: James appointed Mary to fulfill his duties while he’s recovering, and Mary is a natural at being a leader. Remus listens to her without much interest, taking sips of his drink and lazily people watching. After about half an hour of listening to Marlene’s monologue and nodding here and there, Remus decides that it’s wiser to look for Meadows elsewhere; he doesn’t have much time until the meeting with Regulus.
‘So, McKinnon,’ Remus clears his throat. ‘It was really nice talking to you but I have to go. I don’t think Dorcas is coming any time soon.’
Marlene looks at him sadly.
‘Yeah, guess you’re right,’ she bites her lip. ‘Why did you want to talk to her, anyway?’
‘She has something I need, I wanted to ask for a favour.’
Marlene straightens her stockings and follows Remus to the door.
‘What kind of favour?’
‘Can’t say, sorry,’ he says apologetically.
‘Slytherins and their secrets,’ Marlene shakes her head. ‘Y’all are all the same.’
‘That’s why you fell for one of us,’ Remus winks. ‘See ya.’
Marlene just rolls her eyes.
‘Tell her I’ll be here till midnight if you see her.’
‘I will, McKinnon. Have fun.’
Remus goes back to his room and changes into a sweater and a pair of flat trousers. He takes his trunk from under the bed and lays down the books on his bedsheets, thinking about what to do next about them. After half a minute of considering his options, he takes out his wand and reducios the books to the size which allows Remus to easily put them into his pockets without attracting any attention. Carrying on himself literature on dark magic may be a bit reckless but Remus can’t afford to have his possessions searched again. Not as long as he shares a room with Barty and Evan, anyway.
The clock shows 9:17 when he leaves. Not thinking twice, Remus heads straight to the Black Lake.
It’s dark and cold, the air smells of rain and wet autumn leaves. He looks around trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness – Remus wants to minimise the chances of being followed, so using lumos is out of the question. Following the narrow trail, he tries to avoid the puddles scattered all the way down, and after 10 minutes of walking finally reaches his destination.
‘I knew I would find you here,’ Remus says as he lights up a cigarette.
‘Should’ve never brought it up,’ Dorcas shakes her head. Remus joins her on the bench.
‘The Gryffindor was looking for you.’
‘Marlene?’ Dorcas asks him confusedly.
‘Are there any other Gryffindor gals following you around?’ Remus raises an eyebrow.
‘Sod off. What did she want?’
‘Apparently, to steal you for a couple hours. She’s at the party, said she’d be there till 12.’
Dorcas reaches for Remus’ cigarette and takes a puff.
‘Cool. I should hurry up, then,’ she stands up and hitches up her skirt.
Remus squints his eyes and looks directly at her.
‘Meadowes?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Do we have a deal?’ Remus crosses his arms.
She sighs and bites her lip.
‘You’ll owe me forever.’
‘Dor, I’m all yours till the day I die if you say “yes”.’
‘Thank Merlin you’re not proposing to me,’ Dorcas grins at him.
‘I wouldn’t even stand a chance,’ Remus laughs. ‘So, are you in?’
She hesitates a second before nodding approvingly.
‘Yeah.’
‘Remember, no one is supposed to know.’
‘Sure.’
‘I’m serious.’
‘No, you are Remus.’
He rolls his eyes as Dorcas sticks her tongue out at him and heads back to Hogwarts. Remus simply follows her and wonders why his friends are such a pain in the ass.