Chapter 8
Before Sirius and Remus had started, the thought of fancying a boy hadn't ever occurred to James. It wasnt like he thought it shouldnt be a thing, but he just simply hadnt been exposed to any queer people growing up. He had found it absolutely heartwarming to watch his best friend in the world, slowly realise that he was in fact in love with their other best friend. Before all of this happened, James had never actually doubted his sexuality, but he hasn't exactly been sure of it either. He had never been able to pinpoint when a relationship was either platonic or romantic.
After having really thought about it, this had sort of been the case with Lily. He had been infatuated with her for sure, but it had never actually felt like love. He enjoyed her company as a friend, but it had also been the fact that she didn't really seem to reciprocate the infatuation, and simply saw him as a friend. Of course they had occasionally snogged at a party, but he had also done that with both Remus and Sirius. He had never thought much of it, or felt the need to decide on anything specific. He just sort of liked who he liked, regardless of their gender. He had sort of started going into detail about it in his thoughts more often, especially this year.
He had his whole friend group, who he loved more than anything on this earth, and that wasn't changing anytime soon. But then there had been new relationships, like Regulus and Evan. He had felt a whole new way, the first time he had realised that Evan had in fact been flirting with him. Though he wasn't sure if he actually fancied him or not. And then of course there was his best friend's brother, Regulus Black.
“Bloody hell i think we've lost him guys” James was brought out of his own thoughts, by Sirius waving a hand in front of his face “Sorry, what's happening?” he asked “Well I just wanted to hear if we had all agreed on our costume? Merlin, you were really out of it. Evans again?” Sirius chuckled leaning back in his seat “Better be, you seemed extra fond of her at the party last week” Peter said, making James remember that he had in fact kissed her “I just zoned out a bit, and yes padfoot the costume is perfect” He said, sort of forcing them to change the subject “ABBA is bloody brilliant, that's what it is Prongs” Remus chuckled “But is it necessary to wear those jumpsuits?” Peter asked, not too fond of the idea “Yes wormy, and it's also necessary to be four people so you are not getting out of this one. I'm sorry.” James patted him on his shoulder.
They had hosted parties before, in fact bigger parties than this one, but Regulus was nervous. He hadn't been nervous when they had been at the Gryffindors, because he hadn't expected anything from that particular party. He was so bloody nervous that he had tried on his costume about a million times, to make sure it would look okay. It was the fact that he and Evan had personally invited Potter and his friends for this one. He had tried to avoid thinking about it at all, but now it was in a couple of hours. Evan had convinced him to match, being a devil and Evan an angel. So there he was, laid on his bed as Dorcas was putting red eyeshadow underneath his eyes, and fake blood from his lip. He had only agreed, seeing how simple it was. He just had to wear black, a pair of horns, and now apparently also make up.
Regulus had always hated make-up. Even long before transitioning, he had always dreaded the days where his mother would force him to wear lipstick or something like it. Of course he hadn't realised why, at the time. But Dorcas had reassured him that this would only make him look even more handsome, which had helped. A bit of eyeshadow had nothing on what Evan had decided to wear.
He came out from their bathroom all dressed in white, but of course an open shirt. An enchanted halo, floating above his head. Glitter on his face, going all the way down his chest. Regulus had always felt envy towards him, being so comfortable in his masculinity and being able to dress so feminine at times. He did a little twirl in front of them “So? Do we absolutely love it?” he asked them. Barty simply sighed disappointed, but Regulus could tell that he was in fact loving every bit of it “You look great Evan” Dorcas chuckled. Her and Barty were matching too, both being muggle police officers.
The nervousness has slowly vanished, as Evan had kept handing him drinks, which today he didn't mind at all. The common room had almost been filled up, but no sign of Potter or his brother anywhere “Reg I swear to you, with my usual charm and this outfit. There is no way that I won't be able to get Potter to snog me” Evan was sitting beside him, laid lazily against the leather couch “I'm not doubting you. I just wanna remind you that we both watched him snog Evans, not even a week ago” Regulus smiled “And? She's barely competition-” Evan continued talking, but Regulus had stopped listening.
Potter had walked into the room, followed by his usual Gryffindor gang, but they were not in focus. It was a sort of strange thing to experience. That one person alone, was able to light up an entire room like that. Regulus could almost compare it to a sunrise, where Potter was the sun, the centre of attention. This fact also made it so that Regulus wasn't the only one who was watching him. Evan looked like he might actually pass out.
Potter, along with Sirius, Lupin and Pettigrew, were dressed in matching white jumpsuits. They were filled with sparkles and had dramatic sleeves, along with a cutout in the chest. It was the same thing as with Evan. They were all in literal sparkles, but still somehow managed to get every boy and girl in the room to look their way.
Regulus saw Evans, and two other girls walk in behind them, in matching fairy outfits. There was a split second where he got worried, but that quickly vanished, once he noticed that she wasn't even looking at Potter, but at her dark haired friend. It wasn't until he looked away that he noticed that Potter wasn't looking at her either, but was in fact looking at him.
“Potter, you certainly know how to dress up huh?” Evan had walked up beside him, leaving a look of defeat on Regulus.
As the night progressed, Regulus got drunker, and sadder. He sat alone with a bottle of half empty firewhiskey in his hand, trying to drown out the once again loud music. He sat across from all of his friends dancing, not even wanting to join them a little bit.
He had looked over in the corner to see the dark haired Gryffindor from earlier, pressed against a wall by some guy, and Evans was nowhere to be found. When he turned his gaze back towards the dancefloor, it felt as though his heart had been ripped out of his chest.
Evan had in fact succeeded. He stood right across from Regulus as he snogged Potter.
Not wanting anyone else to be able to judge his self pity, Regulus walked downstairs. The Slytherin common room was known for its easy escapes, which Regulus had now taken advantage of. He had walked into one of the caves that laid beneath the main room, still very much being able to hear the stupid music.
He felt absolutely ridiculous for the way he was reacting. This hadn't been a surprise at all.
He had listened to Evan rambling on for weeks, of course it was bound to happen. It wasn't like he fancied Potter, he most certainly did not. But there had always been a part of him hoping that he would stay oblivious and not give into Evan. Of course he had, it was Potter. Possibly the nicest person at Hogwarts, he would've even done it just to not seem impolite.
Regulus was very thankful that this whole stupidity had not made him cry, when he heard footsteps coming down the steps “There you are” Regulus turned his head, still leaned against the railing “Well spotted” He chuckled at Potter, as he took the spot beside him “There's not really a point in asking if you're enjoying the party is there?” Regulus asked him “Snogging people does not equal having fun Regulus” Potter chuckled, taking a sip of the beer in his hand. He had to ignore the fact that he had just called him Regulus, like they had been friends for years or something “So you don't fancy him then? Evan I mean” he asked, hoping for a flat out no “I which way are you asking if I fancy him? In a protective best friend way, or simply just curiosity?” Potter asked “In what way would you like me to ask Potter?” he grinned, turning towards him just slightly “In any way you wish to” he replied “Just curiosity” he confessed “I wouldn't say that I fancy him exactly, good kisser though” was all he said “So you don't fancy anyone youve snogged? Not even that Evans girl?” Regulus asked him, making Potter almost laugh “You sure are observant huh? And no, she's simply a very dear friend. And your friend came up and kissed me, not like I was gonna push him off” Regulus smiled to himself at the fact that he had been right. Potter was just too damned polite “Alright, why are you down here then?” Regulus asked him “I noticed you had left your spot on the couch, so I asked, uhm Dorcas I think her name was. I asked her if she knew where you went” he admitted “You sure are observant huh?” he chuckled, making Potter smile “I am yes, you are alright though? No particular reason you left to be alone?” he asked “No really, just never been a fan of the loud music” Regulus wasn't exactly lying to him:
James had felt sort of hesitant to leave Regulus to be alone again, but he had actually insisted that he preferred it that way. He had most definitely had a fun night. James had always loved dressing up, ever since he could remember. Which is why he had been over the moon when Remus suggested they dressed up as ABBA. The suit was getting sort of uncomfortable though, giving him a reason to be fine with leaving Regulus. He was sort of disappointed that he hadn't gotten the chance to talk to him more. He had been the only reason he had wanted to come, after all.
The Gryffindor common room seemed incredibly deserted, as James walked through the portrait. He was planning on sitting down for a minute, knowing that Remus and Sirius had left only a bit before him, not wanting to get traumatised.
As he scanned the room, he heard a faint crying, and spotted a familiar head of red hair, sitting on the stairs “Merlin Evans, what happened?” It was a depressing sight to say the least. Her wings on the floor, heels on the step beside her, and mascara staining her cheeks. She looked up at him, trying to wipe the mascara off, but failing miserably “Nothing” James sighed and sat down beside her, wiping as much mascara off as he could with the sleeve of his jumpsuit. “Talk, im not letting you go that easily, you should know that by now” James said, he had always been the comfort friend to basically everyone at Gryffindor tower.
“Its dumb. Actually no it's bloody pathetic, im pathetic” she chuckled sadly “You're not, what happened? You seemed okay when i saw you a couple of hours ago” he said “That was before, well before she- Oh god you're gonna laugh at me” she hid her face in her hands “No of course not, explain, please” he took her hands away “Everything was fine, our costumes were great, and we all had fun. But then Marls disappeared with some Slytherin and it was just Mary and I” she explained, and James just listened “and Mary she- I turned my back for a second and then she was snogging Crouch'' she explained, having teared up again “Oh, well he's not actually that bad, I've spoken to him a couple times. She will be fine Lily im sure” He tried but she just shook her head “No James, i could care less about him….” she said looking hopelessly at him, and something clicked in his brain “Then its- It's not about him is it?, you fancy Mary?...” He asked and she nodded hesitantly “Oh Lily…” he didn't even think for a second before he had pulled her into a hug. She had seemed surprised, but hugged him back “I'm so sorry you had to watch that. If it's any consolation I'm not sure sure crouch is actually straight” James said, making her smile “Thank you, you always know just the right thing to say” she chuckled “I'm not sure how it happens. Maybe she will come around, you know? I mean how could she not, you're a right catch Evans” he said making her laugh “Thanks, not sure im gonna get that lucky though. Did you see who Marls disappeared with? She was just sort of gone?” she asked him “I'm not sure I-” James froze, feeling another click in his brain.
He had been so keen on finding Regulus, that he had failed to notice that the person beside Dorcas had in fact been Marlene “Dorcas Meadows, Regulus's friend” he told her “What?!”