they’re so pretty it hurts [DISCONTINUED]

“Come on, Marlene! Be serious!” Mary groaned. 

“Umm, okay?” Marlene looked slightly confused, “Woof, woof, I’m a big gay baby that’s very much in love with Remus.”

Lily rolled her eyes, “Not that Sirius, Marlene. Look, we don’t care if your gay. That’s okay. That’s more than okay. You can tell us.”

Marlene glanced between Mary and Lily warily before answering, “I. . . am gay.”

“So am I.” Lily said.

“Same here.” Mary shrugged.

There was a moment of silence before Mary grinned, “Wanna throw a party?”

The other two girls whooped and they all began to plan who would come, where and when it would be and who was bringing the drinks. They’d decided that they could invite whoever they wanted and those people could also invite a few others. It would be in the Room of Requirement, that weekend and Amelia Bones would be in charge of drinks because somehow she always brings and makes the best drinks.

And that was how the first day of their sixth year ended. Or at least, how it ended for Mary and Lily.

Marlene had waited until she could hear the other girls breathing even out and their light snores fill the oddly quiet room. She took a deep breath and gently pulled her curtains back. She made her way over to the bathroom, not stepping on cracks or creaky floorboards. She shut the door with a dull thud and locked it behind her. 

She couldn’t cast a Lumos or the girls night wake up from the light. She leant back against the door, sliding down it until she was sat on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. She looked at the moon, shining bright and full from the window. As she watched it, she sat in the dark and cried. Sobs heaved from her chest. Pale, shaking hands reaching up to cover her mouth and muffle her cries.

She took a deep breath and stood with shaky knees, gripping the edge of the sink for support. Stray hairs from all those times that Marlene forgot to clean up her cut hair decorated the sink. Lily’s rose hand soap sat next to the hot tap. There was a small frog stool next to the sink and a cupboard above it. 

Despite Lily’s efforts to tidy it, the cupboard was overflowing with random junk. Deodorant, perfume, pads, tampons, a hair brush, hair ties, Mary’s hair stuff, a potion from two years ago, Marlene’s hair dye, hidden cigarettes, a bottle of firewhiskey, a spare lighter, scissors, a packet of mouldy crisps, a chocolate bar, ribbons. That is what Marlene saw when she opened the cupboard. Lily had put an extension charm on it so there was endless more things piled behind them. 

Marlene reached for the scissors, her hands beginning to shake again. Marlene stared at her reflection in the cracked and dusty mirror. She took a deep breath before ripping the glamour away. Her chest shuddered as they fell. The bruise on her cheek had turned a strange green/yellow colour, her black eye had partly faded and the cut on her lip was mostly healed. Marlene lifted a hand to her face and let her fingers graze the bruise. She winced and withdrew her fingers. 

She dug through the cupboard again. There was a healing cream somewhere in there. Her hand rummaged around before it grasped onto a cold bottle. There it was. She pulled the jar out, unscrewed the lid and . . . It was empty. She had used up the last of it the year before and had forgotten to restock. Marlene groaned quietly and shoved the jar back in. The scissors were in her hands again. 

They travelled up to her hair, grasped the first strand and - snip! She cut away her hair, letting chunks fall into the sink and onto the floor. Snip! Snip! Snip! Choppy bangs and a strange version of a mullet. She cleaned away the fallen hair. Pale hands grasped the frozen sink. Cold eyes stared at a corpse through the mirror. 

Marlene pulled back. 

Bony fingers hovered over the door knob before she clenched her hand into a fist. Cigarettes. There were cigarettes in the cupboard. And, oh, how she needed them. Stumbling slightly, she twisted and found the cigarettes. With a cold breath, she snapped her fingers and it lit. 

And there she was. Marlene McKinnon, who helped her friends and danced and partied and stood up to people was now reduced to a broken girl smoking and staring at the moon. Every full moon, screams echoed from the forest and for some reason, Marlene felt the strong urge to scream with them. 

She never did. 

Maybe one day but not anytime soon. She stayed in the bathroom, listening to the screams and watching the moon, until the cigarette was reduced to ash and the flickering flame was licking at her fingers. Marlene climbed back into bed and didn’t fall asleep until five in the morning. She knows because she cast a Tempus every five minutes. 

What a wonderful way to begin the year.