The Clash of Royals
"Neigh neigh!!" Roared your horse.
You pulled the leash, forcing to a halt. The huge city lay before you, majestic in its beauty. It had a medieval look, with a glooming castle. Although nothing like the castle that is countries away. That is the castle you are trying to reach. But one must be powerful enough before confronting an emperor.
"My fellow horseman, why are we stopping?" Asked Obama.
"We'll take a hiatus here,"
"Well I hope this hiatus won't be as long as the hiatus we had since the last chapter."
"What?"
"Nothing."
You shrug and dismount your horse. You hitch it to a nearby branch and walk up to the guard guarding the gate.
"Excuse me, may we enter this place? We are travelers."
"Verification?" Asked the bulky big brows man.
"Uh, what verification?"
"If you don't have verification we can't let you in, sire." He slouched, "although there are two other ways."
You perked up, "and what's that?"
"An entry fee of 50,000 Plotuim. 500 for your slaveboy over there."
Obama raised his eyebrows in confusion.
So slavery is prevalent here, huh?
"Plotuim?"
The guard chuckled, "you're about to enter a country you don't even know the currency of?"
You didn't know how much it was but it was probably expensive. "And what's the other option?"
"Well," the guard sighed, "the king does need assistance with an upcoming war. If you help him, you can stay here."
You stroke your chin, and think hard.
"Look," came Obamas voice, "uhh I respect all cultures, but this place is uh a little too racist for my taste."
"Come on, just tap into your ancestral powers!"
"Alright uh, what the flip!"
You sigh, "Listen, we're gonna get some knowledge and some experience and some skills from here, and some allies, because we need em. That's how we will save this place and hopefully be granted an escape."
Obama looked reluctant.
"It's just until we win the war!"
"I uh," he shook his hea, " I don't think I'd want to-"
"You can drone strike the children."
"After you, Master." He gestured towards the gate.
You enter the city, cloaks bellowing. The cobble streets were crowded and noisy. Vendors vending, menders mending, whores bending, it was a typical day.
You strolled further and passed dark alleys, the smell of booze and piss clogged your nose. Eventually you reached the castle. A guard was guarding the entrance.
"Hey, me and slave boy here are looking to help the king in the war."
Obama bowed.
"Why would the king want some random travelers to help him in a most important war?"
"The writer probably ran out of ideas."
The soldier snorted, "What's he been doing the past 30 days?"
You shrug, "I've been riding a horse from cowboy land the past 30 days, I have no idea about anything."
"Alright buddy, whatever, just go."
"Alright, whatever."
You enter the castle, beautiful hallway with a majestic red carpet. You go up 10 floors before finally reaching the throne room. You enter the room, and walk up to the throne.
After climbing 10 floors, you realize why people are so eager to kneel.
You thump your chest with your fist, "Salutations my good sir."
"Twas I, King Georgy the Second, what do thy been wanting?"
"Been wanting I to help you fight le war in exchange for living in this wondrous city. For a little while."
The king was a short man with red clothing and crown, and a beard.
"Indeed, we do be needing help. Ok then, help us thy must with Le war."
You nod.
"We can converse and I'll fill you with cu- ahem, information."
You shrug, "sure."
You and Obama enter the Kings majestic chamber. The two of you sit in the balcony, a perfect view of the mostly majestic city, and the piss filled parts.
"We be needing some backup. Thy be perfect I hope. King Bobby has been quite troublesome."
"I do be the agreeing," you agree, "what do this war be about?"
The King sighs. "King Bobby was Le friend very good," He sipped his apple juice, "then he started diversifying. Accepting every idea that comes to him. Men are women, men sleep with men, women sleep with women, but since men are women and women are man, technically men who sleep with women actually sleep with men and men who sleep with men actually sleep with women.
"But there are also people who are nor men nor women who sleep with other people, it's so confusing!"
You nod. "And you wish to prevent such ideas from spreading? A war of ideals?"
King Georgy shook his head, "no no no, you don't get it." He sipped his apple juice.
You gesture Obama, "slaveboy, bring Master some juice."
Obama looked maddeningly mad, but he obeyed.
"You think Bobby gives a crap about those people?"
Obama came with your apple juice.
You glance at it, then make a disgusted face. "Nevermind, bring mango juice."
The King continued. "He don't. He only pretends to so those people side with him. Nobody else wants them except for Bobby, and so Bobby has lots of allies. He only accepts them for selfish purposes. He doesn't actually care about his country or his people."
Kind of like us. Don't care about anyone, just do it for selfish reasons. We'll it's not like this world is real anyways.
Obama came with the mango juice. You sipped,
Such delicacy…
"So what is this war about then? Why are you getting involved?"
"Like I said, King Bobby has garnered lots of allies. Why do you think so."
Realization struck you harder than your mother when she was drunk. "He inte ds to conquer!"
The king nodded. "It's only a matter of time before Bobby starts the war. I'm just taking advantage of the element of surprise." The king sipped his juice. "This war is more about royals clashing than it is about ideals. The ideals are just excuses."
You sip your juice. "So a clash of royals."
The king nodded. "A Clash Royale, if you may. Hee hee hee haw!"