Lalo Salamanca
Lalo would undoubtedly become a pain in the rear if left alive. You doubt Tuco would hunt you down. But you don't want to wait for him to hunt you. He is not so straightforward like the Salamanca twins. He is smarter, he will catch you by surprise. You have to find him first.
"Arthur has more experience in bounty hunting than us," you say, "he should be able to find Lalo."
"StatisticallySpeakingItsEasierToFindSomethingOrSomeoneInGroups"
"Yes, groups of experienced people. We are not experienced." You counter.
"Alright, who am I hunting?" Asked Arthur, standing up."
"Lalo Salamanca," you say.
Arthur nodded, "who?"
"The guy with the mustache and the pink sucker." You doubted he would know what Kirby's name was.
Arthur nodded and left the tavern.
"So, Ben." you say. Ben glances at you. "Wanna play chess?"
Jimmy saw the white knight. He was terrified. The knight had moved to that square to prevent him from getting any further, but he prepared for this. All Jimmy had to do was sacrifice himself so the king could win. He ran forward, ran to the black square, luring the knight. Sacrificing himself was all he's good for. He was a pawn, after all.
But the knight didn't kill him, he moved to another square. Of course, the knight wasn't targeting him. He was protecting the square so the queen doesn't check, so that she doesn't threaten the king. He saw the two squares in front of him, he was going to get to the end, he wasn't destined to be a sacrificial pawn, he was destined to be greater!
The dumbass moved both his rooks too, and the king was in the second last square with two other pawns protecting him. All he had to do was get to the last square!
He ran to the square in front of him and halted, one more square. The white pawn took out his sword and attacked the queen. The queen put her right fist on her left chest, "Long live the Dark King!"
The white pawn plunged its blade through the queens hand and through her heart. He took it out and sheathed it. The queen, a hole in her hands and chest, fell on her knees, and on the ground, a puddle of blood forming around her. She was the pawn. The black pawn stepped into the final square, and suddenly, the dark king appeared.
"You are the one who will checkmate the king," said the dark king, "but before you can do that, you must let this king mate you."
"B-but sire, I'm a man and only a mere pawn!"
The king spread out his hands, and a bottle labeled "Estrogen" appeared. The king handed him the bottle, and the pawn drank it. The pawn suddenly transformed, he - rather, she, could feel her chromosomes change. The Y in her left and a second X entered.
The Dark King pinned the pawn, "Now, be my queen." He said as he lent in for a kiss.
"BEN, Ben, stop!" You shout to Ben, who was rubbing the king on the pawn. "These are chess pieces, not lovers. This is chess, not Dungeons and Dragons."
"TheLawsOfChessAreSacred" Said Ben, raising his index finger.
"There is no law that says the king and pawn have to smooch for the pawn to turn into a queen, just replace the pawn with a queen!"
"Fine" he did that, "Checkmate"
You sigh, another loss. This is your 6th.
The door of the tavern suddenly opens,
"I've found the immigrant," said Arthur.
The four of you gallop your horses towards the place. You pass the sheriff's office, and he gives you a wave. His brown hat breezing, and his badge shining. And in his hands was a-
Donut?!
"What's his name? You ask Chuck, hoping he knows."
"Donuld.T, they call him Donut.
The inventor of donuts, crazy.
You pass by the woods. The path seems familiar.
"Where do you think we're heading to, Ben?"
"TheMansion"
"Based on what are you saying that?"
"Memory"
"Oh," you say, "why hide in such an obvious place?"
"Nobody would expect someone to hide somewhere so obvious." Arthur spoke up.
It made sense, but was also insane. It's like hiding your money under your pillow. Sure, no one would expect it. But what if they check, just in case?
You finally reach the mansion and enter through the backdoor of the garden. Mansions in the wild west weren't very big. Actually, there were no mansions in the wild west. This mansion was probably built by the Salamancas. The garden was medium-sized, just a couple of flowers, a bunch of trees, and some cactuses.
Cactuses? Why even have a garden at this point?
You walk towards the backdoor and spot a body - no, two bodies, on the way. A grave seemed to have been dug mostly but unfinished. Probably having a smoke break before burying them. There was a man lying face down, and Michelle Obama. So the man must be Obama.
Not Obama….
You continued your path, not being able to bear the sight of such a great man dying such a death. You didn't know how he died, but still.
You enter the house and sneak around it, avoiding maids, cooks, and cleaners. You go upstairs,
"You know, I really like this place. Such a great atmosphere." You hear a voice. It sounded like Lalo, "And no DEA! No Gus! Don't even need a lawyer!"
The voice was coming from the balcony. You go near it but don't go near the door. You look through a window from another room and see Lalo sitting on a chair with Kirby sitting beside him on another chair.
"Beers finished, I'll get a quickie." He gets up to leave. Arthur barges into the balcony, gun in hand.
You look to your left and right. Only Chuck and Ben were there. He left the group! Well, he was low-honor. What were you thinking?
You immediately get up and go into the balcony with Ben and Chuck.
"The whole squad is here," he cracks a psychotic smile. Kirby opens its mouth, ready to inhale.
"I was waiting for that you pink fluffy piece of dog crap," said Arthur, revealing a bag and a burning thread that tightened it. He threw the bag to Kirby, Kirby inhaled it, and it blew up.
What if Kirby didn't inhale so quickly? Was he about to kill himself?
The force of the explosion made Kirby bounce, and his eyes looked all dizzy, and he was spinning.
Arthur shot Lalos shoulder, ran up to him, and kicked him off the balcony. Lalo landed with a thump.
"...."
"...."
"MorallySpeaking"
"Stop speaking," Arthur put his gun back in its holster.
You go outside and mount your horses, and head back. You all celebrate the whole night, and fall on your beds after the moon is more than halfway in the sky.
You later have a dream where you were running away from your fiance in a wedding gown. You spawned a wall glass, but she rammed through it. She grabbed you, and you turned around, but the woman turned into a gun.
"Wakey wakey," you wake up to Lalo, pointing a gun between your eyes. You get out of your bed and see the other three also standing up, lined up near a wall. You stand beside them.
"I killed you, I shot you and threw you off a balcony!" Arthur said to Lalo, who was holding two weapons. A gun, and Kirby.
"You also hurted Juan, Juan is very hurt."
Kirby made a hurt noise.
"Now Juan will exact his revenge. But before that," Lalo shot Chuck, but Chuck caught the bullet with his teeth.
Lalo chuckled.
"Get the obstacle, out of the way." Kirby opened its mouth, sucking Chuck. Chuck held a hand to his hat to prevent it from being sucked. He suddenly jumped and did a roundhouse kick on Kirby. Kirby ended up swallowing itself.
"Wh- wha-" Before Lalo could say anything else, he was backhanded. He was backhanded so hard, his head spun 4 times, like some toy whose neck wasn't working.
Lalo went limp, and another target was crossed off.
How.
Lalo was burnt to ensure the teams safety.
You sit at the table with the other three cowboys. "We killed their brain and their brute." You take a sip from your mug of water. "Now we kill them."
In the outskirts of the wild west, there was a house. A small house. In there was a cowboy. He was fair skinned but tanned. He had shirt black hair and black eyes. This cowboy wasn't the sort that relied on his gun and horse. He was a smart and spiritual one. He didn't even need his gun. He only used it when he didn't feel like using his real weapons. Him.
He was sitting cross-legged, meditating.
A knock on the door, a man comes in. He leans in, whispers something into his ears, and leaves, and leans out.
The cowboy was silent for a moment, then spoke up. He gestured something to the man. The man took a bag of crystals and laid out the crystals in front of the cowboy. The Cowboy snorted one of them, took a deep breath, and breathed out, completely and utterly composed. "Where?"
"The Tavern."