Salamanca Twins
Geron flipped the coin for the thousandth time and sighed. He was the owner of the gunshop in the town. He was robbed just a day or two ago, and he briefly thought about retiring, and was ashamed to even think about that.
What a coward.
He put the coin back in his pocket and took a whiff of his cigar. Just as he put the cigar in his mouth it was shot out of his hands.
"Hey what the-'' he was cut-off as he saw two men with cowboy hats aiming a gun at him. They seemed like twins, with a chin beard that was trimmed like a line. A line of beard on their chin. They showed him a drawing of four men. He looked at the drawings, but didn't seem to recognize any of them. He shrugged and one of the twins hit him in the cheek with the gun and pointed at the drawings again.
"Where?" He asked.
He took a closer look, then something caught his eye.
That hat looks awfully familiar….
He put his hands in a drawer and one of the twins brought the gun to his head. He slowly got his hands out of the desk, showing a pencil. He drew a mask on one of the men's faces and just as he thought, it was his robber.
"Yes, yes I know them!"
"Where?"
"I don't-" he saw another familiar face. The foreigner with the weird clothing, he saw him and the two other guys and laughed at them.
"Last I saw them they were in the tavern," he said.
The twins nodded to each other and walked away.
"Get those bastards!"
They turned back and aimed their gun at him.
I shoulda kept my mouth shut
"CAAW CAAW" the crows sang.
"We would really get a lot more money if we split our work," Complained Arthur, again, "this is really unproductive!"
"For the last time, Arthur," you say, irritated, "if we split up, we'll die. The twins will target each of us and take us by surprise, one by one."
"Can't they just come out of a bush and kill all of us anyways?"
"ThatIsEntirelyPossiblePowerwiseSpeakingButLogicallySpeakingOurBestBetIsToWait"
" 'logically' speaking we've been waiting for a week!" Said Arthur. "ActuallyThatsFactualNotLogical"
Arthur was getting pissed. "Factually speaking, I'm about to put a bullet in your head!"
Two men on horses stopped 40 feet away from the four of you.
"Talk of the devil," you say.
The Salamanca twins get off the horse, and so do the four of you. You slap your horses ass, you don't want it to be caught in the crossfire. The others do the same, but not the twins.
Menaces…..
You lock eyes with each other, hands on your hip. You close the gap a little by walking forward. Slowly. Eyes never leaving each other, unblinking. You calculate the position of one of them but fail because you suck at math. Maybe if instead of wasting your time on video games, you spent it on math, you could do it.
You all take out your pistols and revolvers and start blasting. Fortunately, the Salamancas horses immediately ran away.
Thank God
You all took cover behind houses and kept shooting. You attempted to close the gap a bit more. The 6 of you were getting closer and closer. You see a Salamanca attacking Ben from behind, you immediately tackle him, not trusting your aim. You take out your gun to shoot but he twists your wrists and throws you aside.
Ben attempts to headlock him but the twin easily frees himself and gives Ben a punch he'll feel everytime he gets out of bed. The twin takes out two guns from his hip and aims it at You and Ben. But right before he pulls the trigger, Chuck karate kicks him mid-air and the twin misses.
Arthur sees the commotionfrom the house opposite to them and runs towards them but gets punched by the second twin. He tries to get up but is taken by the collar and punched repeatedly. The twin then threw Arthur to the wall behind him and he crashes into the house.
The twin approaches Arthur but Arthur kicks his groin and gets up. He takes a chair and swings it at the twin. The twin staggers backwards and Arthur takes him from behind and tosses him to the table. The table breaks under his weight, then Arthur pulls out his gun to shoot him but the twin throws a broken table leg at Arthur and Arthur misses. The twin stands up and tackles Arthur.
Chuck punches the twin again and the twin falls to the ground. You kick him in the face once, twice, you try to do it a third time but he holds your foot. Ben kicks him in the groin and you start kicking again.
The twin kicks Ben's knee and pulls your leg, you fall facedown. He gets up but Chuck rushes to kick him. He blocks his kick and kicks Chuck in the chin. He jumps up and does a roundhouse kick at Chuck. Chuck blocks his attack.
"You dare use my own kicks against me?" Said Chuck, calm as ever and cold as ice.
He striked the twins left chest with his right palm. The twin staggered backwards and clenched his chest, he seemed to be in incredible pain. He injected himself with what seemed to be an adrenaline pump.
Ben stood up to punch him but the twin grabbed Ben's hands and squeezed it until it broke. Ben was wearing a silver ring, the pressure broke that too. The Salamanca glanced at Chuck, then he turned back and ran.
Arthur was thrown on the sink and then thrown back on the ground. The Salamanca pinned him and repeatedly punched him. Arthur dodged the next punch and squeezed the twins eyes, then threw him off. He stood up and started throwing frying pans at him. He found a knife and got in position. The other twin barged in and said something to the other Salamanca.
"Tacos Nachos Burritos!"
"Le hablo español?!"
"Pablo Norris Escobar!"
The twin Arthur was fighting nodded and ran with the other twin.
"Don't you run you son of a -"
Just as Chuck, Ben and You run out to find the twins, you see Arthur leave a house and run after the twins too. Together you run after them. The twins whistle and their horses come. They jump on and ride away. The four of you call your horses and hop on too. Arthur takes out his lasso and throws it at one of them. He catches him but the other twin immediately shoots the lasso before it tightens and cuts it off.
"My lasso!" Cried out Arthur.
"We'll never catch up to them," said Chuck, "we have to go back and get some rest."
Ben nods. "BiologicallySpeakingMyBodyCantHandleMuchMore"
"But it can still handle that speaking speed…." mused Arthur.
"You okay Ben? You seem rather gloomy," you ask.
"Huh" said Ben, pulled out of his thoughts. "OhYesImTotallyFine"
"You don't seem to be." You say, worried.
Ben looked down at his mug, and swallowed. "ThatRingHeCrushed" he said, "ItWasPassedDownToMeByMyLateFather"
"Oh," you say, "I'm sorry…."
"ItWasTheOnlyReminderOfHowMuchHeWasProudOfMe" he was holding back tears, "ItWasMySourceOfMotivationEverytimeIDebatedLeftWingedFurriesAndTransgenders" He sniffed. "AndHeTookItAwayFromMe" his eyes held pure rage, "HeWillPay"
"Well, I can't help you with that but," you gesture to a table, "I can play chess…."
You spent the next hour trying to best Ben Shapiro. Say what you want about the man, but his statistical accuracy and logical skills are truly the greatest in the wild west.
But unfortunately for him, you've already figured out how to beat him. And you're going to do it in 5 moves.
Just then, you hear the door being flung open. You dart a glance to the door and to your dismay, it's the Salamanca Twins.
Arthur and Chuck get up from their stools, You and Ben get up from your game and all of you stand beside each other and stare at the twins. The Twins enter the tavern and the staring contest begins.
Even though both twins look identical, Ben could feel which was the one who shattered his ring. He could feel his aura. All of you charge at each other, Chuck karate chops a twin and Arthur uppercuts him. Ben attempts to punch the one who shattered his ring but the twin blocks, you attempt to kick him in the knee but he blocks that with his leg. He throws Ben at you and you both fall to the other table on top of a random cowboy. The table falls down and all the mugs spill and shatter. The people on the table pull you up and punch you, then Ben punches one of them. The person fall to another table and just like that, the bar turned into a battlefield. Men punching each other and throwing each other at each other.
A man attacks one of the twins and gets a punch in the throat. Arthur and Chuck continue to beat the crap out of one of twins. Arthur gets pulled away by the other twin and gets kneed in the guts. The twin shoves him and he falls down. He gets back up , jumps on a chair and table and jump kicks the twin, but the twin grabs his leg and throws him to the ground then kicks him in the face.
Ben tackles the twin but the twin punches his back and he falls down. You put him in a headlock just as Ben got up and then he punched the twin in the mouth, guts and groin. The twin grabs you by the neck and throws you at Ben. Ben dodges you and kicks him in the face.
He staggers backward and some random guy punches him hard then runs and punches other random people. Ben grabbed the twin and slid him across the table you were playing chess in and the chessboard and chess pieces slide and fall too.
Just as I was about to win too
Ben goes behind the twin and you tackle the twin just as he got up. Ben kicks the twin as you are tackling him and the twin falls. You are pulled aside by some guy and he throws you to a table. You take a bottle and smash his head with it. Meanwhile Ben grabs his gun from the holster.
"AnatomicallySpeakingYourHeadConsistsOfMuscleSkullAndBrain" he said as he checked if the revolver was loaded. It was. "FactuallySpeaking" said Ben as he grabbed the Salamanca twin's rancher crease hat and put it on. He aimed at the twin, "MyBulletWillPassThroughAllOfThem" He pulled the trigger.
Chuck punched the Salamanca twin, grabbed him by the collar then punched again. The Salamanca fell and bent on a table. Another guy fighting in the bar saw the opportunity and wedgied him. The Salamanca screamed, the guy laughed and ran away then got punched trying to wedgy someone else. Arthur kicked the Salamanca in the ass and the table shattered.
"Take this fight out of here, stop destroying my tavern!!" Screamed the innkeeper.
Chuck nodded, grabbed the Salamanca from the floor with one hand and dragged him outside the tavern. Arthur whistled for his horse and Chuck threw the Salamanca outside the tavern. Arthur's horse came and Arthur got on it. He put some distance between himself and the Salamanca, then turned the horse around and galloped towards him. The Salamanca sat up but before he could do anything else he was crushed by a pair of hooves.
Later they burned the Salamanca Twins bodies and camped next to the fire. The tavern wouldn't let them in due to being wrecked.
"So, who's next?" Asked Chuck.
You'd rather wait for Lalo to come too but you weren't sure he would come. But was Lalo more dangerous, or Tuco? You pondered this question until you could ponder no more and fell in the arms of sleep.