And The World Shatters
He can hear the pounding of his heart in his head, his breathing ragged and burning in his lungs, sweat dripping on his eyebrows, the cold air sweeps as he stopped, trying to catch his breath ,his bare feet caked with dirt and blood as thorns and sharp stones punctured the skin
He didn't have his wand, stupid thing to do when racing down the dark forest
Stupid to be even awake in the middle of the night, chasing down something then be chased around
He can feel something behind his back, tried to turn around to get a glimpse,but nothing
Then there's a pull, he felt himself thrown in the air, he lands on his back gasping for air, his eyes wide, his ears ring, a shrill sound and the excruciating pain and then cold, as if his soul was sucked out of him then coldness again and then darkness…
—-------
James woke up still feeling tired, sleep usually is his best form of rest yet for weeks all he had seemed to be restlessness , he did his routine and heads to class, sighing at the silence and sudden loneliness
It's only been weeks since the incident with the whomping willow and Snape and how one night and one mistake had tore them far apart makes James want to scream
Remus would speak to him but would close off , he buried himself into studies and his prefect duties and James still wants to punch Sirius' teeth for all of this, but then James also can see how Padfoot is punishing himself, it gives a sinking feeling in James as he saw both his best friend and brothers fell apart and that poor Peter is also too anxious and nervous to talk to either of them
This is another day as he sat in class, missing the usual mischief they would go into, Sirius' witty jokes and Remus' one line comebacks and Peter's gossip, James tried to look for Sirius, but he hasn't seen a glimpse of him
Come to think of it, he hasn't seen Sirius since this morning in the great hall for breakfast, he hadn't even checked if he's in the dorms that morning
Now antsy James hurriedly picked up his things immediately stepping out of the classroom, sprinting down the hallways, suddenly feeling like everything is wrong, he rounds a corner and almost knock into someone, he immediately apologizes but still hurried away but was stopped by that someone pulling him
"James? Mate you alright?"
"Oh god Moony! Sorry I…"
"No it's okay, what's got you in a hurry?"
James pretty sure he had this funny expression in his face and still feeling the unusual anxiousness
"Have you seen Sirius?"
Remus brows furrowed into a frown
"What's he done now?" he asks a little harshly
"nothing, but I didn't saw him in class today or in the hall I didn't even notice if he's in bed this morning and I know, you both still…"
" Breathe James, Yes we clearly still aren't talking and no I haven't seen him either"
There was a little tensed silence between them and Remus was about to say something when Lily walked up to them
"Lupin,Potter,Professor McGonagall is asking for both of you"
Remus felt his stomach drop when Lily told that McGonagall is askit for both of them, he's already feeling a little queasy specially since this morning then added by James frantically looking for Sirius
He might have been a harsh when James asked if he saw him but the still hot anger melted into concern
Yes he's still angry, talking to Sirius, talking about Sirius or even anything about Sirius still make him want to lash out, because it still hurts
The betrayal felt like a knife lunged deep in his chest and twisted
Sirius was the one who made Remus lower his guard more, the one to tell him that his scars are part of him and not a grim reminder of who he is the one who would talk his ear off into recovery after every fullmoon, he made Remus feel the safest
It was like a bucket of ice cold when he woke up after that fullmoon and was told of everything the happened , told to him by Sirius himself
How could you?
How could you use me?
Why did you do it?
And then Sirius just hung his head, not meeting his eyes, fists clenched
"I'm sorry, I'm so Sorry Moony"
And that was enough, Remus had enough
"Stay away from me…from now on, Stay away from me"
"Moony–"
"Don't call me that, you can't call me that, you lost that right"
"I'm sorry, I'll do anything, Please"
"Anything? Then stay away, I don't want you near me ever again Black"
He had said that, venomously
And since then, even in the dorms everywhere, Sirius did stay away, he was alone, he comes and goes, he would look when he thinks Remus doesn't know,he did as told
And Remus felt the frustrating conflicted feeling of gratification and worry,
He wants to run up to the boy,shake him and tell him to take care of himself and stop with all this self punishment, and then there that satisfying feeling of seeing him devastated and hurt and knowing all the consequences of his actions and it makes Remus' stomach churn
now as James rambled about how he haven't seen Sirius since morning , it adds to the uneasiness that is crawling up Remus' skin
Then Lily told them that McGonagall is looking for them
All three walked to where McGonagall had asked them to meet them, and if Remus and James are already at their wit's end , they've been tethering as they approached the hospital wing
Why the hospital wing?
Is this about Sirius?
Is he okay?
"Professor, they're here" Lily announced
"Thank you Miss Evans"
Lily have a nod and stepped aside not leaving the room, McGonagall looked at her with a silent question and she pursed her lips as she gave another nod, and if one pays a closer attention, her eyes are already red rimmed, McGonagall let her stay then
She looked at both boys, her expression neutral but her eyes are grim and there's a tremble in her voice as she spoke
"I'm sure both of you are curious why I asked you to be here,And it would be best if you see this for yourselves, I'm sorry but I can't think of any other means to tell this to you boys"
Both boys looked at each other before following, they're at the very far end of the wing, there stood Peter with Marlene,with madam Pomfrey who's joined by McGonagall, in front of them is one of the hospital beds, curtains drawn
"Pete? Marls?" James asked confusion masking the now fear in his voice
"Why are you guys…" Remus wasn't even able to finish his sentence
Peter just shook his head unable to speak as he choke on sobs and Marlene wraps him in a side hug as she cries
"What's wrong? What's going on?" James is already impatient at this point
"Mr.Potter…"
"Please, just tell us what's going on"
Remus cuts off, not wanting to be rude but he doesn't want to beat around the bush any further
McGonagall lets out a silent breath and looks at Pomfrey whose eyes are also downcast, she opened the curtains
Like ice was poured on their bodies both Remus and James froze, eyes wide as they stare at the one lying on the hospital bed
Sirius…
Sirius is on the hospital bed, still in his sleepwear from last night, but it was torn, dirty,and bloody, his feet filled with wounds
"He was found by the lake this morning, I'm sorry boys" Pomfrey says voice low
Sorry? What does she mean by sorry? Can't she do anything? She's the healer, can't she heal Sirius?
"He's gone! He's gone!" Peter wailed loudly this time
"No…" James denies
Remus felt his world shatter, as he stares at the lifeless body
It can't be…
"No! No! Remus, Moony, this can't be right, Padfoot , Sirius is not… Remus! Why aren't you saying something, why are you quiet, this is…"
" James… " It was barely a whisper, as if all of his strength was shucked out of him
With the remaining will in his body, James went forward and takes Sirius' cold hand
James can feel his knees go weak and Remus tries to catch him and brace the fall but fell with him as James lets out a silent scream then a strained wail
The hospital wing was filled with painful cries, plea and denials
"W-who did it?" Remus ,still clinging to James had his eyes on McGonagall
"Who killed him?