The Why and The Please
"Who did it? Who killed him"
Remus' voice is quiet yet it drips with venomous rage as he look at Minerva and Poppy
"We will be conducting investigation for this , For now Mr. Lupin, It would be best if all of you would focus on yourselves, I know this is a hard time" Minerva had phrased her words, her heart breaking for these children as she see the grief and lost in their eyes
The anger in Remus suddenly felt empty, tears doesn't well up in his eyes, He just feel cold, everything is muted now, James' wail became heavy quiet sobs, Peter's cry is reduced to pained hiccups, Marlene silently crying and Mary and Lily sniffles
Remus wished he could just cry like them,but the damn in his eyes are dry his fists curled and his knuckles white
"Your parents would be owled of the occurrence, For now, it's best to go up your dorms, until your parents arrive"
They're reluctant to move, but Lily and Mary was able to atleast coax them, both trying their best to offer comfort, when they got back to the common rooms, Peter and Marlene didn't even made it upstairs and just slumped by the fireplace
Remus was the only one who was able to get up to their dorm rooms, for a minute he just stood there staring at the empty room, the clutter of their things, the red drapes, and the black leather jacket hanging clumsily on a chair
He walked towards it and picks it up, Sirius love the garment, always trying to incorporate it with his uniform
It smell of his shampoo, his cologne and the forgotten block of chocolate that he would offer to Remus everytime
Remus felt the blur in his vision, it's this time that everything crashes in, there's large glob of tears on the leather and a sob bubbles in his throat, he tried to wipe his eyes and his cheeks but the tears won't stop
"What the fuck Sirius! What the actual fuck!" He let's out a string of curses as he lets out a scream, his arms hugged around himself trapping in the leather jacket between his chest ,his nails digging in his arms
"Remus! Oh Godric Remus , you'll hurt yourself, stop it" He hears a voice and a hand that tries to gently pry away his nails from his arms as they left red indents, the same gentle hands cupping his face , he looks at her and in a broken voice he says
"Lily, he, I … told him to stay away, I… why, Lily why like this? Why?"
Lily went up the moment he heard Remus scream, she tried to supress a sob when she found him curled in himself, as he cling to a leather jacket like a lifeline, then he asked her Why…
And Lily wished she knows the answer like she always did
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James didn't bother to move when McGonagall had advised them to go back up the dorms, he kept staring at Sirius' face , pale and lifeless ,his eyes closed and…
How he wish this is all just a bloody nightmare , that he would wake up and then forget that all of this even happen
"James we have owled your parents, they arrived at the head master's office…" Professor McGonagall tells him and this time he was atleast able make himself move
"I'll go to them professor, thankyou"
"I can take them here…"
"It's fine professor, I'll go there"
He didn't wait for McGonagall's reply and walked out of the hospital wing, he knows he had been rude but he didn't even have it himself to care , he walked pass the crowd of students in the hallways, steps a little hurried , his eyes trained ahead
He continued his way to Dumbledore's office when he felt someone grab at him,he was had his wand out and ready to hex when he saw the person
"Regulus what…"
"Where's my brother?" Regulus cut to the chase, even ignoring that he was almost hexed
James stared at the boy for a moment, and something dawns on him it almost made him sick
No one has told Regulus …
He was Sirius' little brother, regardless of their estrangement , and yet no one told him, he's not even the first to know
"I'm asking you, where's my brother, I need to speak to him…"
"Regulus, I… come with me, I'll take you to your brother "
"Just tell me where he is" caution and reluctance suddenly in his voice
James breathes "Please Regulus just, come with me"
The heaviness in his voice made Regulus reluctantly nod, and James finds himself walking back to the hospital wing, Regulus following suit,
When James pulled open the curtain, he tries not to let out another sob as he once again have to look at Sirius' body
"Is this a fucking prank? This is not funny" Regulus hissed at him
And James wished it's all just a prank
"Sirius, enough get up" the slytherin huffs
"Regulus …" James tries
"Get up you bloody wanker, this isn't a good joke" Regulus had his fist around the fabric of Sirius' pyjamas
"It's not funny, Siri you have to get up! get up, you can't do this to me, Big brother please"
Regulus rarely cries, the last time he can remember crying was when he was subjected for a punishment by his mother a few days after Sirius went to Hogwarts he had promised himself that's the last time he will shed a tear
He had uphold to that promise, and yet he can't stop the tears that flooded his cheeks
This shouldn't be happening, his big brother should be up and about causing havoc in the halls of the school with his friends, he should be obnoxious not this quiet corpse
"What happened… What happened to him Potter? Why is he like this?answer me!"
"We don't know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry we don't know" James whimpered
Regulus walked towards James and fisted a part of his robes
"You can't be just sorry, I need to know, what happened, tell me! Tell me James! Why did it have to be my big brother? You should know , you're with him! Bring me back my big brother please"