All stars
September 17th, 2019
2:13 PM
Procrastination station
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Lily: Dorcas has three friends who want to come
James: great!
Sirius: who?
Lily: about that...
Sirius: ???
Lily: Evan.
Sirius: Rosier?!
Lily: Yes,
Lily: And Barty Crouch Jr.
Sirius: why would we want them to come along?
Lily: And Regulus.
Sirius: no.
Sirius: if he's going i'm not
Mary: Sirius
Mary: Please
Sirius: no
Remus: you don't have to talk to them...
Remus: just stick with us
Sirius: ok
Mary: Remus you wizard
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James couldn't sleep, he wished Sirius would just talk to his brother. Maybe they could become friends again. James thought about that first night, when he met Sirius’ younger brother. How he had run away. James didn't know why he was so intrigued by the boy, but he'd do anything to talk to him again. He was in the music studio the first time... It was worth a try.
And just like then he heard the faint sound of music. The room was sound repellent, but if you listened carefully, you could hear the notes.
He opened the door, and once again found the younger Black behind the piano.
James had a déjà vu, as the boy spun around and their eyes locked.
Those cold grey eyes. No , James corrected himself, calm . Calm grey eyes.
Though that didn't last long as panic took over. This time James hadn't moved away from the door, so there was no way out.
“Don't you understand I don't want to talk to you?”
"No. No, not really to be honest. Why don't you explain.”
Regulus sighed, “I just don't, ok? I don't like you. Am I not allowed to go about my day?”
“Why don't you like me? You don't know me.”
“I know plenty. Sorry you can't accept that not everyone can like you.”
“It might surprise you that there are even people who I don’t like” James replied
“Really?” Regulus sounded actually surprised by his answer.
“Snape. My year, your house. Though al that house stuff is bullshit”
“You think so?”
“You don't?”
“No, it means I have to look at your face less.”
“Mean.” James pouted.
“Don't expect anything else.”
“I wouldn't dare. You didn't really answer my question though.”
“Why you don't like me...” James said when Regulus gave him a confused look.
“I did.”
"Did not.”
“I just don't, ok?”
“No. Not ok. I want to know.” James crossed his arms, waiting for an answer.
Regulus sighed. “You stole my life. Not everything was bad for once, and then you came and took it all away.”
James had never been more confused in his life. “How? We hadn't met until a few days ago.”
“But Sirius had. Sirius was my world, and then you barged in with your massive ego and somehow convinced yourself you had the right to steal him.”
“I-” James was at a loss for words.
“And it's fine, because he's finally happy. But I'm just sad that I'm not the one who made him that happy. I always thought I'd get the chance to make it up to him, you know, after how he helped me.”
James stared at Regulus in disbelieve, “You think you don't make him happy like that?”
“I don't think, I know. When I saw him for the first time after he started here at Hogwarts, he couldn't stop smiling.”
“Because he was with you.”
Regulus blinked once in disbelieve before continuing, "No, the only thing he was interested in was returning to Hogwarts as soon as possible. And returning didn't include me.”
“Ok now I'm really confused. All Sirius would talk about was you,” James said.
Regulus’ eyes shot up. “Why?”
James laughed, “Because he loves you, that's why.”
“Don't lie. Sirius doesn’t give a shit about me. At least not anymore,” Regulus sighed.
“You actually believe that? Don't you?”
“Well, I can't live my whole life a lie.”
“You are. Right now. By denying.”
“I'm not. Sirius stopped caring when he finally got in contact with good people. That's just how it's supposed to go, Sirius is a good person, so he needs to be amongst other good people. I'm happy he left. Our- my parents were horrible to him; he didn't deserve that.”
“You don't deserve that either.”
Regulus let out a chuckle “Oh but Potter, I am that. I'm not a good person. I live to become them, when I grow up. Even when Sirius was still at home it was clear that he wasn't fit for that role. My parents gave up on him when I was born. They need a follow up, so their music doesn't die with them. They care too much about the place of our family name in the industry. My future has already been written.”
James almost laughed. Did Regulus really tell him that he's not a good person? “You aren't like them.”
“You don't know me.”
“Maybe not really, but I know Sirius, and you aren't as different as you might think.”
James recognized the voice in which Regulus spoke, the way his eyes narrowed slightly, as if that would look more convincing. He recognized it all from Sirius.
“He used to say it was hopeless as well,” James continues, “but eventually he got himself out.”
“Like I said, good for him.”
“I'm saying you can too.”
“Who says I want to?” Regulus bites back
“Your eyes.” James states. He gives a little shrug when Regulus stares at him with a questioning look. “It's the same as Sirius, you both squinch your eyes a little bit when you're lying. Either to others or yourself.” after a second James added, “or both.”
"You can see that from my eyes?" Regulus raised an eyebrow, giving him a questioning look.
“Yes, like I said, I've been trained for years by your brother.”
“Sure you have.”
“Why would I be lying?”
“Oh no I believe you; I just don't care.”
“Ouch.” James said jokingly
“Go cry about it.” Regulus looked over at the door, then back at James. He seemed to consider something, but eventually turned back to sit back on the piano stool that he had stood up from halfway through their conversation.
“Wow you're not leaving?”
“No. You're still blocking the door if you hadn't noticed.”
“But you could leave if you put in the effort to.”
“I could indeed.”
“So why did you sit back down?” Regulus's actions always seemed so random to James, even though he seemed to think about everything in detail. Considering everything.
“I don't know,” Regulus answered, he sounded confused himself.
“Maybe you're too intrigued by me to leave, I can’t blame you, I'm amazing.”
Regulus laughed about that.
He laughed.
He laughed, and it was beautiful.
James didn't know what to do with himself. He didn't understand what he felt, he didn't know what was going on. He did know, however, that he would do anything to hear Regulus laugh again.
It sounded so pure, so honest, so real. James had decided that he would protect Regulus from now on, even though he hadn't made that decision actively, something inside him did, but he wanted to listen. He didn't know what part of him decided that. It all felt so familiar, but also so different. That feeling that was impossible to ignore, like something was pulling him along.
Weird.
James sat down, facing Regulus. He'd stopped laughing at that point, looking at James quizzically. “What's going on?”
“Nothing,” James responded. “Are you concerned about me Reggie?” he added with a chuckle.
“No. And don't call me Reggie.”
“What are you going to do about it?” James teased.
He plastered a fake smile on his face as he replied in a sweet voice, “I'll scalp you, of course.”
“Meaningless threats.”
“Wouldn't you like to find out?”
“Who knows, maybe I would,”
Regulus chuckled, “I'm sure you would.”
A surprisingly not-awkward silence passed before either of them spoke again.
James always felt like he had to fill every gap in a conversation, he felt like it was his fault when a silence became uncomfortable, so he started avoiding those moments.
This was a calming quiet, he wanted to stay in it forever, but his mind kept screaming at him, so as always, the silence ended. “You're coming to the concert as well, right?”
“Yes, why?”
“Well, then we should at least be able to have a normal conversation.”
“Should we?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because why not?”
“Because I don't want to waste my time talking to you.”
“And yet here you are.”
That left Regulus speechless, with that same look of confusion as before.
“So, why not?”
“Well- I don't know.”
“And that’s the beginning of a lifelong friendship.”
“Don't get your hopes up, Potter.”
“Stop calling me potter, we're friends now,” James laughed.
“Never,” Regulus smiled. And he had fucking dimples. It looked adorable. The combination of the oversized sweater, the tote bag and the smile made him look so at peace. It was calming to even just look at him. James couldn't avert his eyes.
“I should add you to the group chat. Your friends as well.”
“Group chat?”
“The one for the concert.”
“Oh, yeah, that could be useful.” Regulus reached out for his bag to get his phone, almost falling of his stool.
“You don't know your number by heart?”
“No. When do I ever need to call myself?”
“When you lose your phone first of all, second, to give your number to others”
“I never lose my phone, and when someone needs my number, I just look it up. Because, you know, I never lose my phone.”
“Whatever works best for you I guess.” James found the entire situation hilarious, getting shown bits and pieces of Regulus's mind every time they talked. He held his phone out, so Regulus could type in his number as contact. He gave himself a moment to appreciate the smaller boy in front of him, the way his eyes flicked from his own screen to James's, checking each number twice before moving on to the next one. But no moment lasts forever. Regulus handed James his phone back, which James responded to with a smile.
He knew he would forget to add Regulus to the chat, so he did that immediately.
September 17th, 2019
10:34 PM
Procrastination station
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James added "Regulus" to the group chat
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James looked up from his phone, “Can you add the rest, I don’t have their numbers.”
He got a nod as reply.
September 17th, 2019
10:35 PM
Procrastination station
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Regulus added “Barty” to the group chat
Regulus added “Dorcas” to the group chat
Regulus added "Evan" to the group chat
Regulus added "Pandora" to the group chat
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A minute later his phone buzzed again.
September 17th, 2019
10:36 PM
Procrastination station
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Sirius: james why do you have my brothers number
James: I saw him in the hallway today
James: so I asked if he wanted to join the group chat
James: and I forgot to add him
Regulus: Took you long enough
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James locked eyes with Regulus and shot him a thankful look. It's not like talking to him is illegal, he just wouldn't know how to tell Sirius that he had some kind of bonding moment going on with his brother.
September 17th, 2019
10:38 PM
Regulus
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James: hey Reggie
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Regulus muttered something that sounded suspiciously much like “Regulus" and then added at an actually audible volume “Why are you texting me?”
“Why not?”
“I'm right in front of you”
“Yes?”
“So, why are you texting?”
“Are you trying to find excuses so you can keep looking at me?”
“Why are you so full of yourself?”
“I'm not. It's self-confidence, there's a difference.”
Regulus hummed “If that's what helps you sleep at night.”
James looked back down at his phone again. He didn't know what to say as he didn't want to start a discussion and scare Regulus away again.
He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, in silence, but neither seemed to really mind.
When James looked down at his shoes something came to mind, “Oh, Reggie?”
He looked up at him but stayed quiet for a few seconds more. “Do you expect me to react to something that isn't my name?”
“Yes. Now hear me out,” Regulus rolled his eyes, but didn't leave, so James carried on, “Me and the rest of the Marauders are going to draw Arctic Monkeys stuff on our All Stars, like lyrics and such. So, do you maybe want to join in doing that? All of you. We were going to ask the girls too.”
“One question. What the fuck are the Marauders?"
“Our band of course!” Regulus seemed to find this hilarious, as he hid his laugh behind his hand. “What's so funny about that?” James said, trying to not start laughing himself. They thought of the name in their first year, and now they were basically stuck to it. Sometimes they already played in local pubs, but that was about it. That was why all the recognition they had was from their name, and not online platforms, where if they had enough followers, they could announce a change of name. At this point they probably wouldn't even if they could, as it had grown on them with time.
“Just, 'The Marauders', I can't-” He started laughing again, this time James joined him.
“We were eleven, it could've been so much worse. Don't blame us.”
“Oh, I will.” Regulus smiled innocently, “I can't wait to annoy the shit out of Sirius about that.”
James knew that Sirius wouldn't care much, since he thought of the name and is endlessly proud of it, but he thought it would be funny to see Regulus try.
“Anyways, are you in?” he added “with the All Stars?” when Regulus looked at him in confusion.
“Oh, yeah, that'd be fun. Should I tell the others?”
“That'd be amazing! Imagine if we'd do that all twelve, that would be so cool!”
Regulus smiled at him softly, clearly enjoying his enthusiasm. James knew that he would deny that, if he asked, but he could see it in his eyes. A little sparkle, to match with his name.
“I have to go.” Regulus sighs after another second or two, James could've thought he was disappointed almost, if he hadn't added that it was late, and he should get some rest.
James watched him leave the room. But unlike last time, he didn't forget his bag. And he might have left, but at least he didn't run away. It didn't feel half as lonely.
September 24th 2019
7:57 PM
Procrastination station
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Sirius: does everyone have shoes already
Mary: Mhm
Sirius: I need pictures
Marlene: you first
Sirius:
Marlene: LOL
Marlene: those platforms
Marlene: guys sirius is trying to fit in
Mary: Sorry Sirius, but those will not get you on our level
Mary: You'll need stilts for that
Sirius: 😭
Marlene: aww
Marlene: going to run to your mommy now?
Sirius: 🤣🤣
Sirius: never.
Sirius: that bitch can fuck off to the end of the universe and further
Sirius: at least.
Sirius: like
Sirius: i've started planning her funeral since I was five
Sirius: i picked a theme i knew she hated
Sirius: ✨me✨
Marlene: 💀
Marlene: damn
Marlene: now i want to know all the family drama
Marlene: you never talk about them
Sirius: Not today love
Sirius: not feeling the vibe rn
Marlene: sure
Marlene: that sounded sarcastic
Marlene: i wasn't for once
Marlene: anyways
Marlene:
I got these
Dorcas: I love 505
Dorcas: People are always complaining that it's overrated
Dorcas: And like, yeah, maybe
Dorcas: but for a good reason
Dorcas: It's an absolute banger
Marlene: marry me
Dorcas: When and where?
Sirius: besties trying to fall in love faster than James did with evans
Barty: 💀
James: Nooo
James: don’t steal my title
Sirius: go on a date first or something
Sirius: we don't want to make james cry
Reply to: {Sirius: go on a date first or something}
Dorcas: @Marlene When and where?
Marlene: 27th? there's a café a few streets away from school
Marlene: i've been searching for an excuse to go there
Dorcas: I'd be honoured
Marlene: what time?
Dorcas: I wish we could've gone at 5:05, but the café won't be open yet...
Dorcas: 9 AM?
Marlene: perfect
Marlene: sorry it took a while to reply
Marlene: i was busy putting a ring emoji as your contact name
Dorcas: Only now?
Dorcas: I did that immediately
Marlene: <3
Dorcas: <3
Marlene: now show us your shoes love
Dorcas:
Marlene: i must say i do like my coffee hot
Dorcas: same thing as Regulus liking his coffee black
Marlene: ajdjkdfkahkldj
Lily: 👀👀
Lily: Are we just going to ignore what's happening?
Evan: Yeah
Barty: lol
Barty: who's going next
Evan:
Barty: not everyone using I wanna be yours
Evan: Aren't we just the most creative minds
Barty: music is art
Barty: we go to a school that's specialized in music
Evan: Barty
Evan: Sarcasm.
Barty: oh
Barty: anyways
Evan: How are you so sarcastic
Evan: But you're so oblivious when others use it?
Barty: don't ask me
Remus: autism
Evan: 🤣🤣
Barty: I'm not diagnosed
Remus: I didn't mean to be offensive
Remus: if that was the result
Remus: I'm just fully convinced that everyone in this group is at least a little bit autistic
Barty: hmm
Barty: as long as you include yourself
Remus: well obviously.
Remus: anyways
Remus: my shoes:
Remus:
Lily: Who wrote the 'yes'?
Remus: honestly
Remus: I have no idea
Remus: I left them without it
Remus: and the next time I saw them it was written there
Lily: Strange
Lily: I'll help investigating
Remus: thank you
Remus: now show yours
Lily: I'm here to join the I wanna be yours squad
Lily:
Remus: I like the colour
Remus: we're all boring with our black
Lily: Not boring
Lily: Iconic
Mary: omg I love those
Mary: I painted on the fabric part
Mary:
Lily: did you use fabric paint then?
Mary: you got it!
Peter: I drew on the fabric as well, but I just used a sharpie
Peter:
Mary: Why did you cross out the 'all'?
Peter: it says 'wolf' now
Peter: so it's wolfstar
Sirius: wtf is a wolfstar
Peter: you'll find out buddy
Peter: give it some time
Sirius: why won't you just tell me
Peter: because this is fucking entertaining
Lily: Peter! Language!
Lily: There are children in this chat
Mary: Literally everyone...
Lily: I was mainly talking about Potter, but still
Mary: valid.
James: 😭😭
James: i've got red ones
James:
Dorcas: And that's I wanna be yours number 5
Dorcas: I'm really putting all my trust in the three remaining
Barty: then i'll keep you in suspense for as long as i can
Dorcas: Bitch
Barty: nah
Barty: you love me really
Dorcas: You sure about that?
Pandora: ye, no.
Pandora: Stepping in before this escalates
Pandora: My parents said I wasn't allowed to write on them
Pandora: so...
Pandora:
Dorcas: Wow, non-Iwannabeyours shoes
Dorcas: Pandora has stolen everyone's creativity
Pandora: Are you implying that I'm normally not this creative?
Dorcas: I take that back
Dorcas: pandora, you're always creative
Pandora: thx!
Regulus: Barty isn't going to send anything until everyone else has been
Regulus: He's like that
Regulus: Annoying bitch
Regulus:
Regulus: I got these
Peter: what does it even say?
Peter: those letters are tiny as fuck
Marlene: 'and I thought I was yours forever' and 'maybe I was mistaken'
Marlene: fireside right?
Regulus: Jup
Peter: Marlene how did you read that
Marlene: my brothers handwriting sucks, so I'm trained in reading unclear letters
Marlene: even if it's because it's tiny
Peter: you have a brother?
Marlene: yeah
Peter: Why'd you never talk about him before?
Marlene: Idk, just never came up
Sirius: everyone shhh
Sirius: barty needs silence for a dramatic message
Barty: the moment everyone has been waiting for
Barty: …
Barty: mostly dorcas tho-
Dorcas: Just send it
Barty: now i'm going to wait another minute
Dorcas: Your infuriating
Dorcas: I feel like this is how the French must've felt when they invented the guillotine
Marlene: 😂😂
Barty: the moment of truth
Barty: have I written I wanna be yours?
Barty: 3
Barty: 2
Barty: 1
Barty: …
Dorcas: It takes more than three seconds to type the three seconds
Dorcas: Hurry up
Barty: okay
Barty: drumroll please
Dorcas: Over my dead body
Sirius: 🥁
Barty:
Dorcas: I almost felt like he was stalling so he could make a new pair
Dorcas: One that did say I wanna be yours
Dorcas: Just to bully me
Dorcas: But he didn't
Dorcas: I'm proud of you
Barty: yay 😐
Dorcas: You can fuck off again
Barty: gladly
Sirius: omg
Sirius: barty can we swap?
Barty: no
Sirius: 😥
Pandora: Suck what tho 😏
Mary: Pandora!
Mary: Omg
Lily: You did not just say that
Mary: Poor girl has lost her innocence because of you barbarians
Barty: 🙄
Barty: i don't think they have a clear view on the situation here
Evan: Clearly.
Mary: what are you talking about
Evan: Pandora isn't as innocent as she makes you think
Evan: We're only just catching up honestly
Evan: She's the worst of us all
Dorcas: Boy spitting facts.
Lily: Didn’t expect that.
Mary: Plot twist
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The concert would be in 20 days or so, and Sirius still hadn't talked to Regulus.
James had tried to convince him, but he didn't want to hear any of it. He needed to step up his game. So, naturally he went to Remus, who was once again in the library.
“We need Sirius to talk to Regulus again.”
Remus didn't look up from his book. “Hello Remus, how has your day been? I have barely seen you this week” he said sarcastically.
James sighed, “Sorry Remus, how are you doing?”
Remus laughed and put down his book, "I'm doing okay, what did you want to say?"
He'd almost forgotten why he went to Remus in the first place, even after the few seconds that passed. “Oh, uhhhm, I was just saying that we should find a way to make Sirius talk to Regulus. At least if we don't want the concert thing to ruin the vibe.”
Remus frowned slightly, like he always did when he was thinking, and tapped his fingers on the table. “Maybe, I really don't want to interfere, but I also don't want all the others’ day to be ruined because they can’t communicate. Did you have anything in mind already?”
“Not really, you're normally the person who knows what to do in these situations.” he grinned.
“Valid. Give me a minute to think. Oh, and know that I am only doing this because I know they're both too stubborn to start that conversation.” Remus sighed as he started taping his fingers again.
James knew not to talk when Remus was thinking, unless it was to give him chocolate, so he sat down in an empty chair as he tried to think of something as well. He knew he could never think of something better then Remus, but he couldn't sit and wait either.
He didn't know much about Regulus and Sirius’ relationship, but it was more complicated than either of them would ever admit. They would just run away from it, each other, themselves, everyone. couldn't they just stop running?
Oh.
That's it.
“Remus”
Remus looked up, clearly a bit annoyed. He cocked an eyebrow as if to tell him to continue.
“I was thinking. So, even if we get them together, they will just walk off, right?”
“Mhm,” Remus hummed in suspense.
“Well, what if we make sure they can't.”
Remus smirked as he asked, “you want to lock them up?”
“Well kind of. Just temporarily anyways. Obviously. But, you know, I think it's the only way.”
“I think you might be right on this one.”
He realized this was the first time he thought of a plan before Remus did, and he would never forget that. He would have to tell Sirius about it after everything.
Remus crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, “okay, now the details.”