The secrets I hide.

POV: Eddie

He was nervous the next morning. Eddie couldn't explain why, well I mean he could. Eddie had ended up hurting the most important person in his life, he hurt him in a way that even Eddie couldn't see being forgivable. Eddie might have just fucked his entire life up, again. All he could do now was apologize and show through action, over words, that he was willing to do whatever it took to be forgiven. Eddie would be okay never being forgiven as long as Buck stayed near his life. Even if Buck was just out of reach, if Eddie was gifted the chance to see him everyday then Eddie would be okay. 

So, here Eddie was, behind the driver seat of his truck pulling into his spot next to Buck's Jeep. The Jeep that was in fact not parked in its stop like always. Wait, where the hell is Buck? Eddie knew today was Buck's day off. Buck had switched with Ravi after receiving that stupid envelope. Eddie hated that envelope, he didn't know what the envelope bared but he knew he hated everything about it. Eddie just stared. Maybe he should have called first, Buck does have a life so of course he isn't patiently waiting for Eddie to arrive and apologize. Eddie leaned into his center console as he picked his phone from his pocket. Dialing the number that was pinned to the top of his call log he waited. Once, twice, three times. 

Buck: "This is Evan Buckley, leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can! Buckley out!" 

Oh. This wasn't exactly what Eddie had expected when he woke up this morning. Okay, maybe if he calls again Buck will answer. Buck usually runs from his problems until he no longer can so maybe he was avoiding Eddie. Once, twice, three times. The same message. The phone felt like fire within his hands as he just sighed at himself. Fine. Eddie could play fetch. Off to Maddie's house it was. 

Eddie wasn't sure when the feeling started, but it slowly crept over him as he walked up to an unfamiliar setting. Eddie wasn't used to coming over to Maddie's without Buck. Eddie knew he was probably welcome whenever as the 118 were very close people, but this still felt, odd. The first knock went unnoticed. The second felt like more of an announcement. Then the door swung open and, Chim? Well that wasn't exactly what he had expected. Chim and Eddie just shared confused glances before Maddie appeared behind Chimney. 

Eddie: "Is uh, Is Buck here?"

Eddie wasn't sure if Buck had made it over to Maddie's yet, or if Maddie knew anything. Eddie felt like the guilty wife who cheated on her spouse and came to the family home looking for him. He felt guilty, like a dog who chewed up the furniture. 

Maddie: "Should he be here-? Did something happen?" 

Maddie sounded like she was almost accusing him, then again Maddie always knew when something was wrong. Eddie just shook his head and continued to stand sorta awkwardly on their porch. 

Eddie: "So that's a no then.. Um, no everything's fine Buck just wasn't at his apartment so I figured he would come over here"

Maddie: "He isn't at the loft?"

Eddie: "No, he might just be running errands. I'll call him again" 

Maddie: "Again? How many times have you called him."

Eddie: "Three times."

The silence quickly filled the room. Almost like the unspoken words between Maddie and Chimney were inferring something Eddie had yet to find out.

Maddie: "He hasn't answered you? Texted? anything?"

Eddie just shook his head. Eddie felt terrible now, the more he sat, the longer he waited. Everything felt like it was crumbling beneath him and Maddie was not helping. The growing worry in her tone as she put two and two together made him feel worse. 

Maddie: "I'll call him, why don't you go back to the loft and see if he comes back around? If he doesn't answer me, or if he does, I'll text you." 

Eddie just nodded and agreed that being here was too much. Eddie just walked back to his trunk with his tail between his legs and drove back to the loft in silence. The air in the car continued to stiffen as he drove. Hope filled him as he pulled into the parking lot, but just as quickly as it arrived it disappeared when his eyes locked on the empty lot beside his truck. So Eddie got out and took his shame filled stride to the door of Buck's loft. Placing his key in the knob he noticed that the door was unlocked. Weird. Eddie shrugged it off as Buck being forgetful and took a seat on Buck's couch as he stared into the loft. Eddie had sat his phone down on the table in the middle of the small living space and just waited for it to vibrate or do anything. A few minutes went by, probably closer to ten, then a message came through. Maddie. His heart sank, Buck hadn't answered Maddie, or Chimney, or Bobby. Maddie had gotten everyone to call him and nothing. Where the hell did he go, was he okay, was he even alive- I mean Eddie understood he probably needed space but not answering anyone worried Eddie.