The secrets I hide.

POV: Buck

Saturday. Today was Saturday of all days. Of course Eddie had decided to flip out the day before a huge thing in Buck's small, insignificant life. Fine, Buck would do this alone like he did everything else. Well for the most part. Honestly Buck was just being upset today, he had gone over to Eddie's to help him finish packing and to tell Eddie about what was happening Saturday. Buck had even let the thought of inviting Eddie into this secret side of Buck's life. Although, Buck's life never went according to plan and Buck no longer wanted Eddie to know about it. Eddie would just be more upset and resent him more. So Buck regrettably woke up, extremely early, to start his venture 30 minutes out of town to a Navy Base. Buck could do this, his hands weren't trembling at the thought of being back at the Base. Buck's bones weren't shaking beneath his skin, they weren't vibrating with fear and anticipation. His face wasn't in a constant state of distress. Take a deep breath, everything is going to be okay. You were a soldier once, this isn't the worst thing you've done Buckley. Gather yourself and face whatever comes your way. Buck reached down towards his cup holder and gripped his phone between his fingers. Unlocking the phone he held the power button and turned the phone completely off. This was normal behavior while being on a Navy Base. Not to mention Buck hardly got messages or calls throughout the day anymore. Maddie has a kid on the way, Eddie is moving, and we'll everyone else have lives. Buck was truly only and he couldn't imagine it any other way given his history. 

Stepping out of the Jeep was a struggle. Imagine trying to move an elephant with your bare hands. Well Buck felt like the elephant being groped and pushed around. His uniform was obviously too small given the fact he had bulked up a lot more since his service. Every breath he took felt tight and strangled. Every thought slid across his brain like water. The only thing he could think of was trying to get his hands to stop *fucking* shaking. All he had to do was figure out why Patricia randomly decided to hold a celebration of his team's death. 

Somewhere in the desert near Afghanistan, 2017: SEAL Team 5.

Once settled in his seat Bullet had a bright smile plastered across his face. Today was an easy day for them, they had just made it to a nearby Army Base and set up a tent. With the Navy SEALs it was common for them to set up camp around another base. They had been called here to get their next mission but the team knew that for the next two days it would be 'restock, clean, work-out, rinse and repeat'. Anticipation set into Bullet's bones as they waited for news about their mission, this was supposed to be an interesting one. This mission had been turned down by three forces already and the Navy SEALs were the last resort. That happened occasionally, they were always getting the grunt work no one else wanted. So Bullet was really surprised, but his Commander seemed really eager to get to the base and be briefed so it had to be good. 

The seconds ticked by slowly as they all spoke amongst each other and threw jokes around. The team was basically all family to this point, and the newbie was Bullet's favorite by far. The team said the newbie was Bullet's first 'puppy' essentially. Which basically means Bullet gets to take the boy under his wing and teach him, while also being a brother figure. Bullet is, or was, Mad Dog's puppy. So Bullet had a good idea of what he wanted to be for the newbie, Scotty. 

It had been a few hours now, which was extremely weird for Keith, his commander. This was all unusual, sure, but debriefing normally only took 45 minutes to an hour for it to stretch into two almost three hours was weird. The team had started getting antsy now considering the fact they had just been sitting around and talking for what felt like days. Okay yeah Bullet loved being able to sit around and basically do nothing, But he too had started to wonder exactly what they were getting themselves into. Then his commander walked in and the conversation immediately died out. The expression he carried was almost one of distraught? This could not be good. 

Kieth (Comm.): "Okay Team 5 Listen up." 

The room had already been silent but the quiet shuffling and readjustment made this feel more real. Bullet smiled at his commander to try and level the playing field maybe even take the worry from his expression. However Bullet's efforts fell just short of that. Keith's chest rose and fell before he began to speak again. 

Keith: "Alright Team, 8 of us out of 16 will be going on this mission. Scotty I'm going to have you stay behind and man our radio station in case anything goes wrong. "

Scotty nodded at his command before the conversation and the room stiffened. Keith wasn't one to take that precaution often. To be honest Bullet had only seen his commander ask for comms to work when they were going a good distance away, other than that Keith didn't really care as everyone communicated well. 

Keith: "I've been informed that I cannot tell you most of the information I've been provided. . However what I can tell you is that we are doing a reckon mission. A Marine squad has been declared M.I.A. and we are checking out their last known location. The Squad Leader is Officer Jonas Field. That's the man we are in search of, his team has been determined either K.I.A. or M.I.A. alongside him. The rest I cannot tell you, but I need you all to watch each other closely. This is a dangerous mission. I know it's not our first reckon, and most of our reckons have been in and out. This is expected to be a week or more out there in the dunes. I want layout Pilot for this." 

Layout Pilot. It had been a while since the 8 of them had done a mission all together. Usually it was layout Daisy. Layout Pilot consisted of Guru and Mad Dog (snipers), Hay and Needle (both medics), Keith (Commander), Mya (lieutenant), Bullet (demolitionist - pointmen), and Scotty *aka Echo* (Communications specialist). Kieth only ever called for Layout Pilot when it was a bad mission, this wasn't going to be as exciting as Bullet had assumed. To have Echo stay behind though, that was even more confusing. 

Keith: "We ship out in the morning, so Scotty I need you to set up communications tonight before lights out, you can double check the signal in the morning at 0600. Everyone else gets prepared for shipment. We will be taking Bertha." 

Bertha, for all of you reading, was the best damn Humvee amongst the bases they'd come across. Bullet made sure that Bertha was in perfect condition always. Bullet was their mechanic on the side because of his stupid run down Jeep he was always fixing, he had decided to take the mechanic courses, little did he know that his life's goal was to take care of a humvee. So Bertha was the most taken care of and special piece of machinery they had, and Bullet was proud of it. 

Bullet: "I swear if I have to fix the brakes again because you can't drive I'm gonna crash out." 

Bullet's time made it known that he was only half-joking seeing how he had in fact had to fix the brakes once for that exact reason. The joke seemed to lighten the room a little and clear the small dust cloud that was forming above their heads. Keith gave him a small nod of approval at the joke and just half smiled at the SEALs before him. Keith made his exit, Mya following after him. Leaving everyone else to silently wonder what they were getting themselves into this time. I mean it was unsettling the way Kieth seemed so thrown off by this mission, and the fact he wasn't allowed to share much? It was all starting to freak Bullet out so Bullet made rations (or dinner) instead. He didn't mind cooking for everyone seeing how last time Mad Dog totally burnt their rations. Mad Dog was not a good cook.. 

Bullet knew when the clock hit 6am because everyone was already up and ready to go. Bullet was the last to shuffle out and get to the humvee. Something about this whole thing didn't settle with him. Bullet had felt sick the last couple of hours, he hadn't even eaten breakfast or drank coffee when they shipped out. The rattling of the humvee and all their junk was so loud to Bullet, everything was loud actually. Since when was the humvee spinning. Bullet really needed to calm himself and stop jittering. He needed to focus, life's were at stake here. Deep inhale, slow exhale. Deep inhale, slow exhale. One, two, three. That's better. Everyone in the humvee was quiet and patient. 

Bullet: "Okay this is kinda sad. Dad you should totally throw on our mix tape-"

Mya: "Wayy ahead of you kid! " 

The 90's mix was placed into the clunky radio and music slowly filled the humvee. The 90's mix was the only CD that everyone could agree on. There were all kinds of genres in the mix, even going as far as having a few Korn and Metallica hits. Bullet liked those bands, but his favorite were some of the random rap songs. Ever heard 7 Grown Adults sing '97 Bonnie & Clyde' by Eminem? Well you should have been there it was hilarious! The humvee slowly turned into a karaoke bar as the trio continued. At least now everyone was a little more calm and not as worried. Keith smiled, Bullet had seen it in the rearview mirror. About 15 yards from their final destination Kieth had unfortunately turned the radio off and explained exactly where they'd be stationed. It was a quick once over as it was the usual placements. Guru and Mad Dog would be about 200 yards from the point where the team would meet. Their job was to watch everyone's backs and keep in contact about things they spotted. Bullet was tasked with being armed and dangerous basically, he was supposed to make a smoke screen if anything were to happen and they were ambushed, other than that his job was to take fire at any enemy spotted and not taken out by the snipers. Needle and Hay were to do the same, they also watched for any injuries that the team took on and where the best places to fix people were. Keith and Mya were the first to scope the land, meaning they had all the advantage points labeled in their minds and were to lead the team. Or at least that's how it was supposed to go. 

It was simple, they would scope out small areas of land in search for these missing men and woman, then meet back up at a specific safe area to congregate about the next area, until they either found the soldiers, or their remains, if they found nothing it was best to assume they were taken and from there they'd make a plan. However it was best to not hope the soldiers were taken prisoner, so they never planned that far ahead. Mad Dog and Guru were already in their respective places and ready to go. Bullet found himself wondering what they were walking into after the third trial through rough terrains. They had already limited the space to about 400 yards of dune, they had cleared all the other terrain and were just awaiting their next commands. Keith and Mya had been talking for what felt like 30 minutes, Bullet was happy to assume that it only felt that way because of the worry seeping into his skin. 

Kieth: "Alright Team, this next area we are clearing is a mine field. We don't have the information needed to avoid all the mines so you'll have to watch your step and everyone else's." 

The words hung in the air for a moment, a mine field. Why the hell was there a mine field in the random of this 'unmarked' terrain? What were they walking into here. Bullet began to think a little deeper, why were they tasked with finding these men? Usually mean who went missing in action were presumed dead unless other information proved them alive, and no one looked for them. Why were they looking for these men, what information did they have that was so important? Apparently Bullet wasn't the only one confused. 

Ralph (Hay): "Wait I'm sorry Commander, but you mean to tell me we are walking into a mine field with no idea where the mines are located? Bullet that's like, insane isn't it-" 

Bullet: "Well yes, depending on what mines have been laid down we could all die if one goes off. Not to mentioned if the mines are close enough together it will set off a chain reaction and multiple mines could go off. I wouldn't even consider Mad Dog and Guru safe as they could or could not be in range. To be honest with you all, we are walking into a gun fight blindfolded and holding a knife." 

The team was silent, Their commander included. The unsettling notion of their unknown fates hung heavy in the air around them. No one dared to speak for a long period of time. What could they have done, walking away was not an option and they couldn't call the base and claim they were scarred little puppies, that would just be sad. With heavy hearts the team glanced at their commander who was seemingly trying to find the right encouraging words for them all. 

Bullet: "Look, we can't determine what's going to happen for sure. But you've got the best damn team here, and the best demolitionists the SEALs have seen in a long time. So our fate is undetermined! When had it not been?"

Bullet smiled brightly and tried to level the concerned faces around him. It seemed to work for a minute, everyone took a breath and just smiled back at him. There were soldiers that needed rescuing. People who had families to go home to, children, parents, pets. Their purpose was to give these soldiers the best opportunity of making it home in one piece. So they would do their damn best to make it through this mine field and find these men. 

Keith: "Alright that settles it then. Get your gear ready and let's get into formation. ##How we feeling out there boys?" 

(##- over the intercoms) 

Mad Dog ## "We are doing good out here Commander! Comms are working just fine, and we have the perfect view. Over and out" 

The team seemed at ease now, slowly descending on the unknown sand pit. The somewhat loud shuffling of boots against coarse sand and gravel, the clinking and clanking of their equipment with every movement reminded them of what they were doing. They would be fine, they just had to focus and get through this. Bullet was the leader of the pack, he could spot out the tiny indicators of every mine so it was easy to miniver through the dune. Bullet was so focused on the mines he hadn't even heard the click of the gun. The loud sound of the rifle barreling out snapped Bullet from his movements. 

Keith: "on your 6 Bullet!" 

With a quick turn Bullet met face to face with a marine soldier. The rugged face held a dark expression as the barrel of the gun was pointed straight at his commander. Bullet had passed him unknowingly while paying so close attention to the damn mind field. 

Bullet: "Don't move." 

Everyone was silent. The rugged man glanced over with a slightly confused expression, he was currently holding a gun to the kids commander and the only thing he had to say was 'dont move'? 

Unknown: "Excuse me." 

Bullet: "Don't move. There's a M1 anti-tank mine about 5 inches from your left foot. It's pressure activated. One wrong step and we all go down." 

Bullet had dropped his rifle to his side and slowly began pushing his hands out in front of his and upward. The rest of the team did the same, following his movements. The rugged marine had glanced to his left side the small rim of the mine was sticking out of the sand just enough to give Bullet all the information he needed to identify it. Impressive. The Marine hummed in response after seeing the mine just inches from his left foot, slowly lowering the gun he had pointed, he holstered his gun and gave a confused glance around. 

Unknown: "Who sent you." 

Keith: "General Lotus. He sent us out on a reckon mission for Officer Fields and his squad."

Unknown (Tubbs): "I'm Officer Tubbs, I'm the sniper for Officer Jonas. I lost my team a few hours ago, they were about 60 yards out and a dust storm covered my vision. I haven't heard anything over comms." 

The team could understand why Tubbs had been so quick to assume they were the enemy. The team relaxed enough for them to move Tubbs out of the field and to safety with Guru and Mad Dog. The team took a moment to gather as much information from Tubbs as they could. 

Tubbs: "Jonas and the rest of my team were moving in to find a hostage. We had gotten word that the enemy was gathering nearby to take out the prisoner they had taken. It was a former member of the Marines which is why we were sent out here. Jonas is the only one who can identify the hostage because they served together. The dust came out of nowhere so I'm assuming they were ambushed, I haven't been able to get my comms up in about an hour. In fact I don't think our comms have worked at all while we've been here." 

The team now understood why they weren't cleared to have too much information as this had nothing to do with their branch. However comms being down was weird. 

Bullet: "Any idea why there's a mind field of M1's?" 

Tubbs: "Now that I can't explain, not because you don't have clearance but because I have no idea. When we arrived we had actually accidentally set one off, it was delayed and we were out of the humvee before anyone could be blown to smithereens but we hadn't expected it. I didn't even know what mines were there before you told me. Impressive skill kid, I couldn't name the difference between a pressure plated mine and a time locked one." 

Bullet nodded at the admiration and just went silent, there was a random, unmarked, anti-tank mine filled space of sand. It wasn't enemy mines either, they were American M1's. 

Keith: "Any chance your team isn't surrounded by mines?" 

The Marine laughed at that question for a moment and just nodded. 

Tubbs: "No mines sir, the only minefield is the one you happened to find me in. Or at least that's what I know, again I haven't had communication with my team so if they happened to find another area of mines I'd have no recollection of it."