The Snake and the Apple.
Buck had woken up early the next morning. He had taken the day off to help Eddie pack the U-Haul and get ready to leave for El Paso. Buck had already gotten ready as the clock read 7am on the dot. He grabbed his keys and left the loft, locking the door from outside in the hallway as he took a breath. This was okay. They would be okay, Eddie would leave and never come back and Buck had to be okay with that because it was for Christopher. For the kid who wanted so badly to come back to L.A. but couldn't talk to his father. To the man who never wanted to move back to El Paso but can't watch his son grow older so far away. Maybe Buck could cross that small thin line this once and help out, or maybe he should step as far away from the line and never look back.
The sun aggressively attacked Buck's vision as he drove towards the Diaz Resident. The warmth of L.A. and smell of gasoline filled every sense that Buck had. He felt like his skin was bubbling under the articles of clothing stretching over his skin. Every movement was accentuated, every molecule buzzing with fear and anticipation. Buck was so familiar to this feeling he didn't even give it a second thought. This is how he felt after every person whose left him. This was normal. Buck could note however, that this was the first time it felt so.. wrong. Something felt off about this. Like there was a conversation or more that needed to happen before Eddie disappeared. Buck wouldn't acknowledge all of these feelings however because he wasn't allowed to This had nothing to do with Evan Buckley and he shouldn't have made this about himself So he wasn't going to.
The Jeep slowly creeped into the driveway, Buck had his own spot in the Diaz driveway at this point. Even when Marisol had been in the picture she wasn't allowed to park in Buck's spot and Eddie made that very clear to her. She called it weird at first but then soon enough realized that Buck was basically there 24/7 so it made sense why he had his own spot. Buck shrugged it off at the time, his heart yearning for his brain to kick into overdrive like it does about everything else. Buck was a chronic overthinker, Eddie had noticed this not even two days into their budding friendship. Eddie had made sure to make Buck feel so welcome that he didnt overthink about things like he usually did. Buck every once in a while couldn't help himself but Eddie had already expressed that Buck was welcome to do anything really. Buck had hardly believed that and still doesn't but thanks Eddie for the reassurance. He assumes it eases Eddie's worries so he acts as though he believes him when Eddie reassures Buck.
Buck hadn't even realized how tightly he was squeezing the steering wheel until he let go. The action of removing his hands made his joints ache slightly from the lose of material in his palms. Slowly his knuckles regained their pink coloration and Buck grappled the handle between his fingers, tugging just enough to make the mechanism release and the door swing open slightly. Book would then throw one leg over the other and step out of the Jeep slowly making his way to the doorstep raising a hand he knocked upon the door and paused. You know Buck does have his own key but he kind of refuses to use it because it just doesn't feel right, he doesn't live here, this is in his house, but it is always been his home.
A tinge of worry filled every one of Buck's cells as he met the manic eyes before him. A man stood before him, one he didn't quite recognize for a moment. The man felt familiar but was not in the slightest. The man unhinged his jaw slightly to speak but quickly shut it again, almost like he was searching for the right words to say. The man's eyelashes were damp and clumped together in some parts. The once sugary honey sparkle turned to a murky mud in the mans eyes. The man's sleeves looked damp on the parts facing his body, like the man had used his sleeves to wipe his face before swinging the door open. Buck's voice was costed in worry in anguish as he reached for the right words.
Buck: "Eddie?"
The man stayed silent. The man's Adam's Apple bobbed up and down as the man took in a breath and let out a shaky sigh. Buck wanted to envelop Eddie in a hug but kept his feet planted on the front porch pull his hands towards himself as to keep them away from the man before him.
Eddie: "I "
Eddie paused. The world stopped and waited Buck, stopped and waited. If the sun had moved Buck would have known because the sun wasn't helping their situation. The angle of the sun was perfectly on the Diaz household. The light streamed across every surface of Eddie's body. Accentuating every muscle every vein and every fiber of his skin, Buck felt like he was going to pass out to staring into the abyss before him the light etching every inch of the man before him. The water in his eyes sparkled on his skin as the tears began to fall down his face again. Oh Eddie. Why must you cry? You look much more pretty with that blinding smile. Not that you are gorgeous this way either.
Eddie: "Why Buck. Why the hell do you have to do this kinda shit. I I don't understand how this keeps happening."
The anger withered from his tone like a snake wrapping around a hand and biting down as hard as it possibly could, it's fangs sinking into every vein Buck has. Buck must have taken a bite out of the apple at some point. His luck just kept going down hill. What was Eddie referencing this time, had Eddie been that upset about the Navy officer from before? Was this about their unspoken - ... No that's definitely not it. Eddie couldn't of been talking about, Christopher-?
Buck: "What?"
Buck's tone was more soft and gentle than he had ever expected it to be almost like a kid being screamed at for something that they didn't necessarily do. He felt like a kid with his hand and a cookie jar, getting caught stealing.
Eddie: "He wanted to come back to L.A. you never told me he wanted to. You fucking, GOD! you helped me pack the house up! We we sat on that fucking couch and picked out a cute little resident to rent in El Paso. Damn it Buck! Why didnt you just tell me! "
Eddie was on the verge of screaming. Buck could tell because of the small Vein making itself known on Eddie glistening forehead. Buck had noticed the boxes in the kitchen behind Eddie before. The boxes were slightly open and gone through, almost as though someone had decided to unpack.
Buck: "Eddie I-"
Buck was cut off before he had the chance. The anger rising from one end of this 'conversation'.
Eddie: "No! No Buck you don't get to apologize for anything! You aren't his fucking father! You arent his father and and you let me believe that everything was going to be okay. Why. Why the hell would you do that! Do you even care about yourself!? Your own feelings! You do realize you're allowed to feel some way about all of this don't you? You can't stand there and tell me you don't!"
Buck did. God Buck felt so many ways about this entire situation. Buck had so many thoughts and things to add onto every lesson they had all learned through this. Buck knew he wasn't Christopher's father but he might as well be a fucking co-parent and Eddie couldn't handle that. Buck cared to the point he let himself fall into a routine of pretending everything was okay because at least that way his heart wasn't being stolen from him all over again. Eddie had started full on crying at this point, the years coating his face and later the hem at the neck of his shirt. Buck wanted to respond he did, but Buck didn't know how. So Buck did what Evan does. He left. Buck spun his body around and walked to the Jeep. He couldn't hear Eddie anymore as he continued to walk away, Eddie's intercoherent words met a brick wall as Buck jumped into his Jeep and peeled out of the driveway. Leaving Eddie standing in his door way, his voice slowly being swallowed by the sound of Buck's foot on the gas petal.