Atonement
Lucius had to gather his remaining courage to go out. He was finally going to visit the grave after so long of ignoring it. He had to do it, even if only one time. If he continued to imagine that it wasn't there, he would never have atoned for his sin.
As he approached the scene, he realized a garden had grown over his son's grave. Peculiar, he thought. Surely Narcissa would want it to be completely untouched, but it seemed to be… overgrown. As he slowly moved closer, he realized it wasn't a garden at all, but an array of bouquets. At least twenty. One from everyone that had ever known his son, it seemed. Even some that hadn't. He read the names on a few of the cards attached. The one that stood out the most was from Narcissa. She always had a good eye for pretty flowers. There was one from Harry, as expected, of course. He noticed some from Draco's close friends, like Pansy Parkinson and Blaize Zabini, but many more from people that Lucius believed to have detested his son. Ron Weasley. Hermione Granger. Even Neville Longbottom.
People that Lucius and his son had both willingly wronged time and time again, that somehow still offered their sympathy, their condolences. Their remembrance.
There was one bouquet missing. One that should have been there all along.
And Lucius realized how horrible he'd been all this time. In his own sorrow, he hadn't even paid his respects to his own son. It hit him like an ax swinging down into his soul.
He had barely bothered to notice the grave.
He hadn't been there for his wife, either.
As he stood, he realized it was time to right his wrongs.
He made his way back to the house. As he entered, he noticed Narcissa sitting on the couch near the door, as if she was waiting for him to come back. Lucius quickly grabbed his coat.
"Going somewhere, sweetheart?" She whispered.
"Just to Diagon alley. I'll be back soon."
His answer shocked her. Lucius had just gotten used to going back outside, and now he was suddenly going out in public?
"Do you want me to go with you?" She offered. Lucius straightened his jacket.
"I have to do this on my own."
They stared into each other's eyes for a second. Lucius wanted to tell her how apologetic he was. How awful he still felt. How he had been terrible to her in her time of need. How he'd neglected her and lashed out at her and left her alone, how she didn't deserve it at all, how he truly didn't deserve her kindness…..
But no words escaped his lips.
He turned around and opened the door. "I'll be back." He murmured.
She stood and watched him until he got to the end of the walkway, opened the gate, and disapparated.
Lucius stumbled as he reappeared in diagon alley. He stepped off to the side for a moment to catch his breath. He was lucky to not have been splinched, with how rusty his abilities were.
He straightened his back, cleared his throat, and examined the environment around him. He felt a certain sense of uneasiness, suddenly being around so many people after being closed off for God knows how long. He attempted to shut out the feeling as he made his way to the floral boutique, but for some reason, it seemed all eyes were on him. Like people were whispering about him. He swore that he heard his own name, that someone was quietly conversing, with him as the main topic…
The bell of the door made a pleasant ringing sound as he finally pushed it open.
He felt as if he had stepped into an oasis in a dangerous and confusing land, the earthy, genuine smell of the vast array of flowers hitting his nose, the temperature in the room just lukewarm enough.
And even better, it was completely empty.
He stood for a few moments reveling in the relief, before making his way towards the display of flower bouquets.
A patch of black roses caught his eye immediately.
Black roses, he thought. They grew in the garden that Draco loved so much.
Must everything remind me of my grief?
He continued to peruse the flowers.
Tulips, he thought. He reached for them. These were Draco's favorites.
Suddenly, something registered in the corner of his eye. Something that seemed oddly familiar. He whirled his head over to it. A small patch of dirt lay on a shelf, growing something.
Daisies.
Little daisies.
Daisies, like the ones that sprouted year round on a hill near the Manor. Where him and Draco used to sit outside together. They'd watch the birds and play in the grass. They'd even have picnics together.
He remembered how fascinated Draco was with the little flowers when he was a baby. As he got older, he'd learned how to make little flower crowns out of the stems. Lucius remembered how his son would remark that they matched the color of his hair perfectly. How he looked so adorable, with the sun illuminating his face just at the right angle. How Lucius had sat one day in the grass with his son, who was wearing flowers on his head and beaming happily, and wishing the moment would last forever.
Lucius felt suddenly weak. Like he was about to collapse. He only had a few seconds, he needed to get somewhere safe, out of public, he needed to get home… not show his face anywhere but his house for months like he had been doing… Leaving the Manor in the first place was a terrible idea-
Suddenly, he heard a voice that pulled him back to sanity, back to reality.
A voice he hadn't heard in a long time. One that he used to so vehemently detest, and yet his body seemed to lack the presence of anger.
"Lucius? Lucius Malfoy?"
He turned to see Arthur Weasley standing in the doorway.