Chapter 3 - Anisotropy
21st March 1979
The sun was only a shimmer of the horizon but it would getting bigger as the day went on. It cast beautiful pinks and oranges across the stars, turning black into baby blue. The sky was light and airy with only a few speckled clouds drifting across the sky.
The mood of the environment was dramatically different to the mood of those gathered on the doorstep of Grimmauld Palace.
Tears were running down Lily's face as she grasped a hug around Pandora's shoulders. "Look after them all now, won't you? You've got to be the adoptive mother of them and make sure none of them get hurt, please!" Lily said through sobs.
"I will, don't worry about it, I'll take them all under my wing like a mother Hippogriff." Pandora said comfortingly.
Lily made a sniffling sound that Pandora presumed was a little laugh.
"C'm 'ere," James said pulling Lily into a tight hug, "You've got to make sure those kids don't get hurt."
"I will, we will." Lily said looking over to Mary who was hugging Remus.
There was a crack and Severus Snape appeared, looking like a wet toad on the pavement.
"What are you doing here?" James spat.
"I'm here to collect the girls" Severus sniggered.
"Their not incapable of getting there themselves." Sirius said pushing himself in front of them.
"Well that's what I've been asked to do." Severus snarled.
"Watch your tone Snivellus, there's no Dumbledore to protect you here." James threatened.
"What you gonna do? Make me as blind as you, Potter?" Snape hissed.
"Shut up, Severus, or I will actually hurt you." Dorcas said moving next to Sirius.
Snape glared at them.
"What are you gonna be teaching Sev?" Lily said trying to calm the stand off.
"Defence against the dark arts and I'm deputy head as well." Severus bragged.
"I wouldn't trust you anywhere near children." James said raising and accusing eyebrow.
"James." Lily whispered.
"Fine " he whispered back.
"We'll be ready in a minute, Sev." Lily told him as she turned her back on him.
"I'll be back in a sec Lils" Dorcas said under her breath as she snuck away from them and their final farewells.
Dorcas marched down the steps and grabbed Severus by collar, pulling him with her down a side lane, his legs and armed scratching towards her. She chucked him down.
"What the hell was that for!" Severus yelled as he scrambled to his feet, brushing down his cloak.
"Don't bother trying to get the dirt off that, it will always be as disgusting as you are." Dorcas calmly said.
"What do you want, mudblood-lover?" Severus snarled.
"Watch what you say, Snivellus." Dorcas said stepping towards him.
Severus spat onto the ground.
"I said, what do you want." He uttered.
"I want you to stay away from Lily." She said calmly.
"What gonna do about it?"
Severus mocked.
In one stride, Dorcas pushed Severus against the wall and pressed the tip if her wand under his chin, stabbing it into his neck, leaving Severus shaking.
"Lily doesn't want me to say anything, but I don't care. She doesn't want me to hurt you, but quite frankly, I don't care. I would kill you right now in the most painful way if she didn't care that you were alive. However, if I find that you have hurt her, made her feel uncomfortable, or even looked at her in the wrong way, I will not hesitate to fulfill my threats. And I will enjoy every second of your suffering. So... You... Are... Not... Going... To... Go... Near... Her. Am I clear, Snivellus?" Dorcas whispered, and finished with a smile.
"Very clear." Severus said through gritted teeth.
"Good." Dorcas said as she walked away, leaving Severus alone to cry about his pitiful life.
"She cares a lot for just a friend." He whispered vengefully under his breath.
"Where's Sev?" Lily asked when she say Dorcas walking back.
"He'll be back in a moment." Dorcas said with an innocent smile.
From out of the alleyway Severus stalked looking more downtrodden than ever, his nose seemingly dripping with either grease or sweat, and looking very alike to baby sick.
"Whatcha do to him?" James whispered in Dorcas's ear so no-one could hear.
"Just gave our little friend a warning." Dorcas chuckled, "goodbye Lils."
Dorcas went and hugged lily whilst picking her up and spinning her around.
And with that, Lily and Mary walked out onto the street waving to them and blowing kisses, before they twisted in the air and with a crack, disappeared, leaving the others staring out onto an empty street.
They all walked inside, Sirius wrapping an arm around Marlene's shoulders.
"She'll be okay MK." Sirius said comfortingly.
"I know, I know." Marlene dismissed with an almost sense of regret.
They all walked into the kitchen and sat down on stools, a pot of tea whistling on the hob and toast buttering itself on the table in front of them.
"Where's Peter?" Marlene asked looking around
"I don't know he never turned up, he must be busy." James replied and chanced a glance over at Regulus who had been avoiding him since that Saturday. Regulus was firmly looking away from him. James sighed.
"How's Toastie, Marls?" Pandora asked.
"He's good." Marlene replied.
The conversation felt so dry that Remus thought that if someone dropped even ten thousand gallons of water in the room it would sizzle and disappear into the air; the Sahara Desert could not compete.
"So... Have you and James had a conversation about your little situation, Regulus?" Remus dared to ask, consequenting in daggers from Regulus.
"No." Regulus replied.
"Maybe you should talk about it?" Remus suggested to the same amount of venom from Regulus.
"Moony, don't push it." Sirius whispered in his ear.
"You know I think that that's a great idea." James piped up.
"I don't." Regulus snapped.
"Why not?" James said in a huff, "we need to talk about it."
"We really don't." Regulus bristled.
"Ok, fine, we get it, you don't want to talk about it!" Marlene exploded, "sorry."
There was an awkward long silence and everyone felt like the wished they were dead or at least somewhere else. There was a loud bang and they all turned around to see that the top had exploded off the top of the kettle.
"Ooo, I think the tea's ready!" Pandora said excitedly, standing up and grabbing the pot, "does anyone want some?"
"Yea, I'll have some." Sirius replied.
"Me too." Said Dorcas.
"I'll also have some." Remus sniffled.
"Me as well." James answered.
"Yep, tea here!" Marlene called.
"I'll have a cuppa too." Regulus said reluctantly.
Pandora poured the tea into little pink tea cups and passed them round. In an attempt to not be the one to have to speak, they all took a big mouthful. At the exact se time they all spat it out accompanied by sounds of disgust.
"What the hell is this?" Dorcas yelled.
"You don't like the tea?" Pandora asked confused.
"No. We don't!" Regulus answered trying to wipe away the taste from his tongue using a napkin.
"Oh." Pandora replied a little sheepish.
"Pandora, what is in this tea?" Remus said trying not to pull the disgusted face that his brain was telling him to.
"Well, there's water, of course, a little sugar, love from my soul, as usual..." Pandora started.
"Pandora, what type of TEA was that?" Sirius interrupted, trying to use the bread as a napkin to wipe his tongue.
"Chamomile." Pandora stated with a smile.
"Well it tastes shit." Marlene criticized.
"Oh. Nevermind, more for me!" Pandora said taking their cups away from them.
There was the sound of the door opening and a rustle coming from down the hallway and they all froze.
Seconds turned into minute is their eyes; the kitchen door nob squeaking as it turned inch by inch, their hands all sprinting to their wands, how they stood up in unison, the way the door slowly slid open.
"Professor Dumbledore is here to see you." Kretcher's voice scratched as he opened the door wider so they could see Albus.
They all relaxed, their tight posture releasing.
"That's fine, Kretcher, hello Professor." James said.
"Hello James." Albus said joyfully.
"How can I help you." James asked going forward to shake his hand.
"Well, Mr Potter, you can't help me, but I do need to talk to the rest of you, minus Regulus, we'll talk later." Albus answered sitting on James's seat.
"Oh, ok" Regulus said, standing up.
"Both of you can wait in the front room." Albus ordered calmly.
They both walked out down the hallway into the bright red front room, but this time it didn't feel as warm and inviting as it did before.
James at down on the settee and Regulus just stood there hovering like a bee. The atmosphere was so awkward that even the air wanted to get out if there.
James looked up at Regulus and saw that he looked tired and exhausted, he mustn't have slept much the last two nights.
"Come sit down," James suggested. Regulus shook his head. "Are you not going to talk to me or even look at me?" James asked. Regulus bit his lip.
"No, we can't." Regulus whispered.
"Why can't we?" James asked, "Dumbledore may have said that we can't exist anymore but he never said that we couldn't be friends, or even talk to each other, or, y'know, even look at each other."
"Don't push it, Potter." Regulus murmured defensively.
Potter.
Potter.
It was the first time that Regulus had addressed James in anyway since the news, and eventhough it wasn't his first name, it still ment something to him, somehow the name stung.
"Rebbie, c'm on" James said exasperatedly.
"Don't call me that." Regulus spat, it felt like he had smacked James in the face.
"Fine, I won't call you that but can you please just tell me what your thinking." James pleaded.
"Why should I. Your not my boyfriend." Regulus blurted.
'He's just being irrational because he's scared' James tried to persuade himself.
"Please, Regulus, it's importan-"
"Don't try tell me what's important."
"Come on, just tell-"
"No! Just shut up!"
"Stop being a brat and talk to-"
"Stop being a brat! You would know about being a brat wouldn't you Potter, feeling so special that everyone owes something to you."
"Regulus, stop this, stop being a fucking bitch and-"
"You know what Potter, I'm gonna be a bitch and so fucking what! What you going to to about it! You act like you care and, 'oh no, boo hoo', your so fucking hurt, but your not the one that's hurt. I am. Stop making this all about you."
"You know there was two people in this relationship not just you, right?!"
"To hell I know! Everyone seems to want to tell me about it! They all act like I don't give a fuck and that I don't care that I'm loosing you! And that's shit! That fucking shit! Of course I care but the way I want, need to go through this is to not talk about it, 'cus I know that at the end of the day, it will be fucking blamed on me."
"No it fucking won't! Your not the center of this fucking world Regulus! Just because you feel like this is the best way to get around it so that you don't get hurt, y'know it might just be hurting other people! Huh? Did you fucking think about that? You have hurt Sirius by acting like a spoiled brat! You have hurt Remus 'cus every time he tried to help you just shut him down in the most shitty way possible! And everyone else doesn't know what the fuck to do around you 'cus your so fucking emotionally unreliable! And most of all your fucking hurting me! 'Cus I care about you and all you can fucking do is act like a mother fucking bitch!"
James had snapped.
And worst of all he regretted every single syllable of every single word. Without realising it he had jumped up and was yelling in the top of his voice, and without his knowledge he had started crying, big emotional tears. He had shown how hurt he was and he regretted it.
"Well since I'm so emotionally unreliable I guess I better leave so you don't have to fucking put up with me." Regulus yelled, storming over to the door, "and I case you didn't fucking know, were over!"
And with that Regulus was gone, out on to the streets, beyond where James could protect him.
10 minutes ago in the kitchen...
James had followed Regulus if of the kitchen and the door kicked shut. Marlene looked of Sirius confused.
"Ah, you've made tea, I'll have a cup." Dumbledore said to Pandora as she stood up to pour it into another dainty pink tea cup. He took a sip.
"Chamomile, lovely." Dumbledore gushed to the disgusted faces if Sirius, Remus, Marlene and Dorcas.
"How may we help you?" Dorcas asked.
"Ah, yes. Sirius and Remus you live together, correct?" Dumbledore quizzed.
"Yes..." Remus replied worriedly.
"Perfect! I want you to both look after something for me." Dumbledore stated. Sirius's shoulders untensed.
"Of course!" Remus agreed.
"Um, what is it?" Sirius asked.
"I think you'll be familiar with it boys," Dumbledore chuckled, "here." He said as he passed them a large piece of fabric.
"We are in fact very familiar with this item." Remus agreed.
"I have done all I need with it. Now, you must preserve it how it is, do not use it, don't unfold it, just keep it how it is, and hidden." Dumbledore instructed.
"That's perfectly fine by us!" Sirius said relieved.
"I'm not yet finished with you boys." Dumbledore said.
"Your not..." Sirius whimpered.
"Pandora, I will be sending a certain someone your way soon to stay with you, he was one of your old class mates, if you are ok with that?" Dumbledore said, completely ignoring the panicked Sirius and Remus.
"Of course! I love meeting people!" Pandora beamed.
"Great, now you Dorcas and Marlene. I would like to activate you within the ranks of the order as live fighters. I will send you messages of what you must do and then you will do it." Dumbledore turned to them.
"Like what things?" Dorcas asked.
"For example infiltrating the Malfoy household, Dorcas, which I would like you to do." Dumbledore explained.
"Malfoy House?" Dorcas repeated.
"Yes, Miss Meadows, Malfoy House, you are the only one that it seems appropriate to send there, as you are the only pure-blood and Slytherin here." Dumbledore put forth.
"Right, makes sense." Dorcas said confidently bit still it wasn't hard for the untrained ear to hear a pang of worry within her voice.
"And me?" Marlene asked.
"Your going to go work at the Ministry, as a spy." Dumbledore said.
"What happened the Shacklebolt?" Marlene asked.
"People suspect him, he's always been open about his views and therefore I need someone a little more unknown." Dumbledore explained.
"Right." Marlene replied.
There was a loud bang from the front door.
"That will have been you Regulus Black. Shame. I did want to talk to him but we can catch up another time." Dumbledore said looking at his watch, "I must go now, I have already taken valuable time from your day."
"Didn't you have anything else to tell us?" Remus asked.
"That will be for another time as well." He said and with that he was gone.
Regulus marched down the street kicking the occasional curbstone and trying not to cry.
'Stupid Potter.
Stupid, stupid Potter. ' Regulus thought to himself.
It wasn't like he didn't care but why did James always care so much? Regulus hated himself for not caring enough.
Shit.
It just wasn't fair. Why him? All his life he had being trying to leave this fucked up system only to find himself truly embedded into it.
He couldn't leave now... Could he?
He could just run, leave, move to France... He already knew the language and the lifestyle, he would fit in.
But James, stupid James. What about him.
Though Regulus didn't want to admit it he cared for James more than himself.
Shit.
No, James would be okay, he's a big boy that can care for himself. He'll be fine on his own.
Bit what if he's not...
Shit.
And what about Sirius? I know he's got Remus but surely he needs his little brother? No, don't be pathetic. If he could leave you before, he'll be fine with you leaving now.
Regulus bumped into someone. A Muggle. "Sorry" he murmured and turned back to the internal dilemma he was having.
Muggles.
Stupid oblivious Muggles.
What about them? They couldn't fend for themselves, they could barely run a country, never mind a war between wizards. He was the only one that could join the You Know Who and save them all.
But really was he?
Surely the entire weight of this war wasn't on his shoulders. There would always be someone else, someone smarter, stronger, wiser, more emotionally reliable.
Yes. He would leave, right now. Who would actually give a fuck? Let's go for it!
No! What the hell are you thinking, you have responsibilities!
Wait!... Is this a midlife crisis?...
Oh shut up, your 18, you can't have mid life crisis's then.
Just go. Run. Leave now. It isn't worth it. It will be a lot less pain to just turn your back now.
That was it. He was leaving.
He braced himself to turn and apparate.
Bang.
Regulus opened his eyes. Yes, he had moved, but only into the floor. An oversized Ministry owl had flown right into him holding a letter. He picked it up and realised that it was addressed to him. He opened it up and began to read.
(A letter from the Ministry of Magic to Regulus Black)
Dearest Regulus Black,
We are writing to you to let you know if the sad news that both Andromeda Tonks and Ted Tonks were found dead at there house on the 20th of March.
Their bodies were found tortured and eventually killed in their residence, however we are unsure of who is responsible. A full investigation is underway.
We understand that you are both the nephew of Andromeda Tonks and the Godfather of Nymphadora Tonks, which puts you in place as the primary carer for Nymphadora Tonks as she is a minor.
Please come and collect her from the Ministry.
Once again, we are very sorry for your loss,
The Ministry of Magic
Andromeda was dead.
ANDROMEDA WAS DEAD.
Regulus fell to the ground his mind repeating the last words she had said to him in person again and again.
'Our only true friend is the moon, it was there when we cried ourselves to sleep every night, and turned a blind eye to our regretful actions during the day. I am your moon and you are mine. I am here for you always and you will always shine brightest in my night sky.'
Author's note:
So you thought you wouldn't get a depressing chapter? Nah, I don't do that. I hope you enjoyed reading this and I can't wait to write the next chapter too. Au revoir