Chapter 4 - Pulsar
TW: mentions of abuse, torcher, graphic injury detail
22 March 1979
The sun shone through the curtains illuminating the motel room. There was only one word that could truly describe the room; mustard.
Mustard walls, mustard carpet, mustard lampshade, mustard curtains, mustard bedframe, mustard wardrobe, mustard ceiling, mustard door, everything was mustard except for one dollop of ketchup; the tiny red lights on the digital alarm clock that read 13:00.
Regulus groaned at the light and covered his head with a pillow. Last night was hell and now consequently, he had a hangover.
He gimpsed at the clock and groaned again when he saw the time. Everything was going wrong, first the Death Eater stuff, then James, now Andromeda's dead and he's responsible for a child! Regulus wanted to sink into the mattress and become part of it.
The door flung open and Regulus jumped out of bed, his eyes searching for his wand.
"Good afternoon Regulus." Dumbledore said cheerily, "or is it still morning for you?"
Regulus began to notice that he felt very cold and when he looked down he realised he was stood only in his boxers, his thin boney legs quivering like matchsticks.
"Do you usually do this? Just break in and enter?" Regulus scoffed, grabbing the mattress from off the bed and wrapping himself in it.
"It's a talent that I possess." Dumbledore beamed.
"So it really is like a hobby." Regulus said astonished.
"And you have a hobby of slamming front doors." Dumbledore said, advancing into the room and sitting down on the mustard armchair.
"Well I felt I wasn't needed." Regulus replied, sitting down uncomfortably on the bed.
"Hmm, well Regulus, you are needed and you really do matter a lot to the Order. But you know that! I want you to join them today, Regulus, join the Death Eaters today." Dumbledore asserted.
"How am I supposed to the that?" Regulus spat, still fuming over being broken into.
"Your a Black, you know the ways, just be convincing." Dumbledore said vaguely, "just go in there and act confident." He stood up, went to the door, and cast a fixing spell, before opening it and stepping out, "good day Regulus, and nice room, it's very... Mustard."
Regulus just sat there in shock about what had just happened. It had all happened very quickly, and very, well, suddenly. How nice of Dumbledore to just pop in and drop the bomb of 'join the Death Eaters today!' like it was nothing. This day was getting more and more stressful and he hadn't even done anything yet.
His head was spinning. He walked quickly to the bathroom and poured himself a cup of water. Once the liquid started to go down his throat he realised how parched he had felt before; it was delicious in its satisfying coolness.
'Everything needs to slow down.' Regulus thought taking a deep breath, 'its going to fast'.
'How the fucking hell am I suppose to become a Death Eater?' Regulus screamed inside his head.
Shit.
2 pm
Once Regulus had stopped procrastinating, he had eventually put on some clothes and headed out. On the way he had bought himself a lovely pasty, and was now just walking, walking until something became clear to him.
He saw that the local park was open and he headed inside, walking along a path paved with millions of tiny pieces of rock, all in an assortment of beige, cream, grey, and white. They crunched under his foot and quiet quickly his thoughts disappeared and he was only listening to the sound and subconsciously counting his steps.
The wind was gentle like a hand softly running across his skin and there was a slight chill in the air, the sort that makes you feel more alive for every moment you are in it.
It was peaceful here. It was nice.
The clouds slowly drifted across the sky, forming into pictures. Birds flew a few meters across it before landing on a different tree, their chirps like little kisses.
Regulus like this feeling; being alone in his own world. He felt a pang of grief, grief for the life he had lost. Before he knew it tears had started to fall down his face, they rolled into the edge of his mouth and tasted salty.
Why was he like this?
Why could he think so clearly and easily when it didn't matter but always messing up when it did matter.
What was wrong with him?
He whipped away the tears with the cuff of his jacket. James had bought this jacket. He pulled it tighter on his skin, imagining it was James arms. James...
He sat down on a wooden bench and stared out at this minuet world hidden inside London. Somehow the tops of the trees were blocking out the industrially built buildings of capitalism. It was kind of ironic, how nature had it's ways, how even when it was being drowned, it managed to drown out the world it was in.
Someone sat down next to him.
Regulus turned to look and was surprised to see Barty Crouch Jr. sat there looking up at the clouds.
"Nice day, isn't it." Barty stated.
"Very nice." Regulus agreed.
"What brings you to the park?"
"Just passing by, Barty."
"How's life going for you, anything changed since you left Hogwarts?"
"Not much, mum and dad died. Two days apart actually. They always said that they wouldn't be separated, but really I think mum just wanted to have a go at him for pissing her off, she was like that. Not even death would stop her shouting."
"Sounds like them."
"How about you?"
"Same old, same old."
"You and Evan still friends?"
"Yep like to sardines in a can. A very stinky can."
Regulus chuckled. "Hey Big B, would you happen to know how to join You Know Who?"
"You thinking about it?"
"Yeah, it's about time. I can't keep running away from my duty as a Black and plus we need to get the gang back together."
"I might just happen to know how, Big R. Meet me at Malfoy Mansion at 8 pm. Come alone. I'm doing you a favour here so don't fuck up anything up for me."
"I won't. Don't worry about me." Regulus said comfortingly.
"Nice, well I better be off. Got my duties to do too!" Barty said as he stood up and started to walk away, waving back as he went. Regulus waved.
That was one less thing that he had to figure out now, it was true what Dumbledore has said, Black is the way in, he just had to be convincing now.
3:30 pm
He had been waiting in the small suburban coffee shop for only two minutes before Dorcas had arrived dressed in all black and with heals that were at least 4 inches. "Why are you wearing such high heals, they must kill!" Regulus said shocked, his own ankles feeling the pain.
"There for stamping in people's throats, so yes, they kill." Dorcas said as she sat down and picked up the menu.
The café was like a piece of art, it felt British yet French with a little splash of Italian. Regulus pulled out a cigarette and lit it, breathing in a large breath. The smoke was satisfying in his lungs.
"I didn't know you smoked." Dorcas said a little confused, her brow raising.
"Started only a couple of days ago." Regulus replied.
He looked up past the canopy that was over their head into the sky; still an icy shade of grey.
The bustle of people walking by in the cobbled stone street seemed oblivious to the danger that they were in, but that wasn't their fault, it was better that they didn't know.
A waiter walked up to them and asked what they wanted to drink. Dorcas ordered a latte and Regulus ordered a strong black coffee to the shock of Dorcas.
"You've changed, usually you can't stand milky coffee, nevermind a black one." Dorcas said.
"Well the circumstances have changed, Cas." Regulus said monotonely.
"Why you acting so weird, what's on your mind?" Dorcas asked.
"Nothing much." Regulus dismissed.
"You wouldn't have asked to meet if there wasn't something bugging you."
Regulus sighed. There was something about Dorcas that even with her scary exterior you still felt like telling her the world, the moon, and the stars. Regulus liked that about her, she was like a comfort blanket.
"Andromeda is dead. She died two days ago. Ted too."
"Oh Reg, I'm so sorry, she loved you so much."
"She was murdered, Cas, and you and I know by who."
"It doesn't make our jobs any easier, I know, it feels wrong, I don't want to carry on, but... I do it for the ones I love... Someday we will be able to live a real life, happy."
"I know, it kind of makes me want to do it more though."
"Out of revenge."
"Yeh, but it's not just that, she had a child, Cas."
"Nymphadora, yes."
"I'm now responsible for her. I am her Godfather."
"When does she move in with you?"
Regulus pulled out the letter and gave it to Dorcas. He took another big breath of the cigarette smoke, trying to drown out the worry. He turned to stare at a painting of a lady on the wall so he didn't have to look at the letter again, it's contents causing too much pain to relive.
"What're you going to do with her? Last time I checked you were living in a motel."
"I know. That's why I asked you to meet me."
"I can't look after a child, Reg."
"No, not you, I just... I just don't know what to do."
"You could ask James to look after her."
"No. I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"We broke up, Cas. He's not tied to me in any way anymore."
"He would still do it for you, he still loves you."
"After all the shit I said to him yesterday? I doubt it. He seemed to hate me quiet a bit, he told me so."
"Well there's Sirius and Remus."
"No... I can't ask them."
"And why can't you ask them?"
"Sirius would be pissed if he found out that I became the Godfather and not him."
"He would get over it."
"No. I don't want to ask him."
The waiter came over and placed down their drinks, Dorcas's with a delicate stork drawn in the froth.
"I still think you should ask James."
"How would I ask him? Realistically. 'Oh hello James, so sorry to bother you but I'm now responsible for a child and I can't look after it so would you pretty please do it for me?'"
"Well maybe not like that but you could start with apologising to him."
Regulus put his head in his hands and groaned.
"That's all I've got, reg. And I got to go too now." She stood up, "good luck."
4:15 pm
Regulus had entered the ministry and was shocked by how much it had changed. There were now green tiles on all available wall and floor space and in the middle a massive fountain had been constructed depicting two wizards and a bunch of different creatures.
He walked over to the from desk and asked where he was supposed to go before being pointed in the right direction.
Regulus walked into a lift only to be joined by many paper airplanes and one other wizard who refused to look at him.
The trip was very awkward.
Once he had arrived on the floor he needed to be on he left the lift and walked out. It floor was a lot less grand; the ceilings were lower and the walls had been locked with plain paint.
He walked forward to the little desk that was in the middle of the room. At first he thought no-one was there but as he got closer he saw that there was a very small woman sat behind the desk.
He took a deep breath and advanced with a false confident smile.
“Um hello? Hi, I’m here to collect a child” Regulus said immediately regretting how sketchy he
sounded.
“Hello deary, yes you may, what's your name? She asked looking up at him. She had a nice face with kind brown eyes, and similarly coloured skin to James, James, he needed to stop thinking about him, he really had to stop.
“Regulus, Regulus Black.” he said with less fear in his voice than he did before.
“Right, let me have a little look, we have here a Mr. Sirius Black and a Ms...” Regulus’s ears went
numb, and he felt a lump in his throat. His dead name, why do people still have his dead name?
“The second one, the second name, it's my dead name, it’s now Regulus.” he said cutting her off.
“Ah, I see... No problem. If you have any identification, I can change both your name and verify your
identity in one, if you’re okay with that?”
“That would be good.” Regulus murmured pulling out his birth certificate.
“Sorry,” she said with a kind comforting smile, “I know what it's like to be reminded or feel like you can't escape from it, me too.”
Regulus smiled, she understood, not many did, but she did. She knew the feeling of being tied to a thing that never existed. It was a weird feeling when someone had accidentally called him the wrong thing but realised it and apologised; there was this anger that they should have done or known better but also this nice feeling that someone had apologised with all their heart for what they had done. It made him feel twisted.
"All done!" She said handing back the birth certificate, "you're here for Nymphadora Tonks, right? She's a little mennis."
The woman stood up and walked around so she was stood infront of him. She really was small, only reaching Regulus's belly button. With a beckon of her finger, Regulus followed her into an adjacent room full of little children.
Regulus didn't need to be told which was Nymphadora, she was obviously the pink haired girl drawing on the window.
"Nymphadora! Those are permanent markers!" The woman yelled hurrying over to her and taking the pens out of her hand.
"That's the point. It's permanent. This is my corner so I'm making sure everyone can see that." Nymphadora hissed.
"Your not an animal, you don't need to mark your territory. I'm going to have to get the cleaner up her to clean this mess up." The woman said with a slight smile. Regulus could tell that she was an easy going person, one that would never get mad at you no matter what, the perfect match for looking after children.
"Good, that nasty man deserves to work harder, he's such a stupid lazy lump." Nymphadora sassed folding her arms across her chest.
'Merlin, I hope she isn't a little brat.' Regulus thought.
The woman sighed, "Nymphadora, Regulus Black, your Godfather, is here to pick you up."
"He is! Oh it's the depressed one. Hmm... That's okay. I like him." Nymphadora said as if she had a choice on whether she would be leaving with him.
Regulus chuckled, they would get along.
"C'm on Nymphadora, let's go." He said extending a hand to her.
"I don't need to hold your hand, I'm not a child." Nymphadora said as she marched out ahead of him and into the lift.
One thing for certain, Nymphadora didn't seem to shut up. One minute she was talking about broomsticks, the next muggle TV (which Regulus did not understand), and then to random women who he was supposed to correlate back to Quidditch because she talked about broomsticks before.
5:30 pm
Regulus found himself looking up at the house that James and himself used to share. It was a nice house with a simple garden, which suited them because they both hated gardening and never understood why people enjoyed it. And there was their tree, both of their names etched into the trunk.
"Why are you just stood there staring at the house?" Nymphadora asked with an attitude that she refused to drop.
"Because I'm thinking." Regulus replied.
"You can think and not stare at a house, are you mentally deficient?" Nymphadora implored.
"No I am not, Nymphadora." Regulus answered.
"Can you stop calling me Nymphadora, it's Tonks. T-O-N-C-K-S." She corrected.
"I'm pretty sure that's not how it's spelt." Regulus said.
"Its how I spell it and it's my name." She snapped.
"Your going to have to drop some of the attitude when we go in there."
"So we ARE going to go in there. No, I thought we were just going to stare at the house. And I'm not dropping anything." She said sarcastically.
"Nymphadora."
"Tonks."
"Fine, Tonks. Stop it."
"What you going to do about it?"
"Your going to have to sit on the naughty step."
"Your not my mother."
Her mother. The dearest, kindest woman in the world. Andromeda. She was dead. It still stung like an absolute bitch. And now her daughter was lonely, she had lost more than she should have.
"Lost for words Reggie-poo?" She mocked.
"No. Stop that." Regulus said trying to stop her from picking up gravel from the drive and throwing it.
"Nymphadora!"
"Tonks!"
"Stop what your doing this second!"
"No! I'm feeding the birdies."
"Birds don't eat rocks!"
"Stone birds do, idiot."
"There's no such thing as a stone bird."
"Wattoo Wattoo said there was so there is."
"Who's Willy Woot?"
"Watto Wattoo Super Bird."
"You don't own a bird."
"Of course I don't stupid. It's WATTOO WATTOO SUPER BIRD!"
"What are you going on about?"
"Merlin, your so stupid! Do you even know The Light Princess or The Talking Parcel?"
"No. Stopping messing around."
She stuck out her tounge and blew a raspberry.
The front door opened and Regulus looked up to see James looking out at them. Regulus felt the burning sense of embarrassment on his cheeks.
"Um, hello? Can I help you?" James called out to them.
"Shit." Regulus whispered under his breath.
"Shit." Tonks mimicked exaggerating the face he was pulling.
"Stop that." Regulus whispered. "Yeh, can we come in?" He called back.
"If you want!" James answered as Regulus and Tonks made their way up the drive.
"Who are you?" Tonks asked when they reached the front door.
"I'm James, nice to meet you." James said reaching down to shake her hand.
"I don't do that." She dismissed his hand.
"This is Nymphadora." Regulus said to James as he received a dirty look from her.
"C'm on in." James said cheerily, moving out the way as they walked inside. They went to the kitchen, Regulus tried to free his mind of any thoughts of things that had happened in there.
"I need to talk to you." Regulus said sheepishly.
"Oh um, okay." James replied.
"Obviously he already knew that. No, we just came to see what was in the fridge." Tonks mocked Regulus.
"Not the time." Regulus hissed at her.
"Are you his boyfriend? Tonks asked James.
"Err..." James gave a worried glance towards Regulus, "no, I'm not."
"Good, he's too emo and depressed for you. You deserve someone with a sense of humour and that isn't mentally troubled." Tonks sassed.
"Oi" Regulus said a little bit offended.
"Nice one!" James said going in for a high five.
"And Reggie deserves someone with a sense of style, you look like you were dressed by a three year old." Tonks turned in James, ignoring his outstretched hand.
"I think we might want to have this conversation just between us." Regulus said worriedly, in response to the mock offended face James was pulling.
"And what am I supposed to do?" Tonks moaned.
"I don't know. Write a letter to your future self." Regulus hurried, passing her a piece of paper and a pen.
"Fine." She said as she walked out and into the living room.
"What do you want to talk about?" James asked, gesturing to the table for them to sit down at.
"It's more of a request."
"Oh."
"I didn't want to come to you but I had no-one else."
"Oh."
"Um... It's Nymphadora... I... James, Andromeda is dead."
"What! What the actual hell!" James yelled.
"She and Ted were murdered."
"Merlin."
"And I'm Nymphadora's Godfather so now I'm responsible for her."
"You? Responsible for a child?"
"I know. That's why I'm here. I can't look after her James. It's too dangerous with what I have to do. Please can you just look after her for now?"
"What? You want me to look after her?"
"Yes. Please. I'm begging. James, I don't want her to die too."
"Shit..." James put his head in his hands.
"Please..."
"I don't know."
"James, please do this for me."
"Shit, shit, shit."
"Please, I'll do anything."
Regulus wasn't asking, he was begging. His hand had come forward to grip James arm and his eyes were pleading.
"Fine." James said, "I'll look after her."
"Thank you, thank you. I'm so fucking greatful James. I don't know how I could ever make this up to you."
"Don't mention it."
There was a pause and Regulus began to worry that James had changed his mind.
"What happened after I left yesterday?" Regulus asked trying to distract him. It was the wrong thing to say. He could see James's eye twitch at the memory.
"Nothing much." James shut down.
"But the others are okay?"
"Yeah, their fine."
"Ok. Err... I need to get going."
"Oh."
Regulus stood up quickly and put a letter on the table. "This has any information that you need in it, for Nymphadora. Err... Thank you. No, really, thank you. I'm sorry... For just dumping her. It's kind of shitty of me."
"It's ok. I'm sure that we will have lots of fun." James said with a sarcastic eyebrow raise.
"I'm sure that SHE will have a lot of fun." Regulus laughed with a knowing look.
"I'm sure she's gonna make a lot of fun of me." James beamed at the sudden break through to Regulus.
Both of them burst out laughing. It felt like old times and Regulus relaxed.
"I better get going." Regulus said with a smile.
They walked out and Regulus called for Tonks who came grudgingly out holding her letter and a green crayon.
"What do you want, stinky-feet?" She snapped.
"I'm off." Regulus said, patting her on the head.
"What, drugs? 'Cus you look like it." She sassed.
"No. I'm leaving." Regulus said his jaw tightening and bracing for another snide remark.
"Oh, we're leaving! Au revoir connard!" She said to James, sticking up her middle finger at him.
"Nymphadora! Ce que dis tu est inacceptable! Your staying here I'm leaving. James will be looking after you for a while." Regulus told her. She turned to him with the most betrayed expression on her face.
"Salaud! Pourquoi me laisses-tu avec cet idiot?" She yelled.
"Arrête tout de suite! No swearing. James has been very kind to agree to look after you. Please don't be too annoying. I have to go now. Goodbye." Regulus said to her, hoping that his quick change if topic would throw her off.
"Bye." Tonks said followed by, "casse-toi" under her breath.
Regulus didn't know what possessed him but he pulled James into a hug, which after a few moments of quiet confusion, James returned, by wrapping his armed around Regulus's waist. It had felt like so long since Regulus had been in James's arms, the comfort, the warmth, the solidarity; he missed it. But now wasn't the time for missing past lovers. He pulled away. Turned around and left with no other words for he knew if he said anything else, he wouldn't be able to do the things he had to do.
7:58 pm
The air had become cooler and yet clearer, so much that you could feel it crisp on your skin. The sun had set just about, slivers of pink still fighting to be seen before they were drowned out by the darkness of the night.
Regulus was stood uncomfortably aware of himself outside of the gates of Malfoy Manor, bouncing on his feet in apprehension.
'Where the hell was Barty?' Regulus kept asking himself even though he knew he was still a few minutes early.
There was a crunch a gravel behind him and he turned around to see Barty standing there looking rather windswept.
"Hey, you came." Barty said with a smile.
"Yep, I was serious about what I said." Regulus replied trying to have some conviction in his voice.
"Well shall we go in?" Barty asked moving forward and whispering to the lock on the gate. A few moments later the black bars began to bend and unfold, creating a walkway for them to walk through.
"Whose here?" Regulus asked, mentally preparing for how many he might have to take down if he had too.
"Well there's Malfoy, Narsissa, Bellatrix, obviously me and Evan, He Who Must Not Be Named is here most the time, Peter... And Dorcas, she joined late last night." Barty listed, "and there's some that pop in and out for meetings."
"Okay..." Regulus said trying to keep his voice level. 'Peter?' he thought, 'he must have been sent by Dumbldoor. Obviously I wouldn't know everything Dumbledore had sent people to do, some level so secrecy must be maintained.' he mentally dismissed.
They reached the front door and Barty knocked. There was the scraping of hinges before the door opened to reveal Bellatrix Black.
"Oh, hello cousin." She said, her voice somehow not able to stay on a singular note.
"Hello Bella." Regulus said as they walked inside. Malfoy Manor was obviously owned by the rich, marble and gold were everywhere and the building screamed 'I'm owned by a rich arse.'
"Fancy you joining us" Bellatrix kicked wrapping her arm around Regulus's shoulder, "you've gotten taller!"
"That tends to happen when your a teenager." Regulus smiled at her, though the bones in her face had become harder and more sharp, her eyes were still kind.
"How old are you know? Mustn't be more than 19." Bellatrix asked.
"18. Just." Regulus replied.
"Oh yeah, your in Barry's year so you must be." Bellatrix remarked.
They arrived at a large door that was, Regulus presumed, the entrance to the meeting room.
"I'll go check if he's ready for you." Bellatrix said as she slipped behind the door.
Regulus turned to look at Barty and was shocked by the goofy smile he was pulling. "What you pulling that face for?" Regulus questioned.
"Oh nothing. It's good to see you again; to get the band back together. Your looking good." Barty replied awkwardly.
"Err... Thanks."
"No problem."
"Played any Quidditch recently?"
"Nope."
"Well that's settled."
"What's settled?"
"We're gonna have to have a game!... Only if you want to of course."
"Err... Yeah?"
"Great! We'll play tomorrow."
"Okay..."
Regulus was getting more and more unnerved by the second. Not only was he sitting on a ticking time bomb of the fact that he was actually a spy, but because they could already know. 'What was taking them so long in there?' Also he was quiet unnerved by the way Barty was acting; a bit like an excited dog. It was weird. He should at least act like he was on the dark side.
The door swung open and Bellatrix called them inside.
That's when he saw him.
The Dark Lord.
He was sat rather comfortably at the head of a long dinning table with Bellatrix sat beside him.
"Hello Regulus. Come to join us?" Voldemort called.
"Y... Yes." Regulus stammered trying to even out his breathing. A large snake had come from behind him and was now circling his feet. Voldemort saw Regulus's worried face look in down at it.
"Don't worry about her. She is here to find the liers. But that's not you of course so you have no need to worry." Voldemort said with suspicion in his voice.
"Now, how can I help you?" Voldemort asked.
"I'm here to join you, to serve you." Regulus swallowed.
"And why is that?" Voldemort demanded.
"Because you are right. The mud-bloods deserve to die and the muggles deserve to be eradicated." Regulus said as confidently as he could.
He felt the snake sliver over his foot and to The Dark Lord. His heart was beating is his chest like it was having to fight to survive. His head was pounding and he felt like he was going to be sick.
It slivered over to Voldemort and wrapped itself around the top of his chair before hissing in his ear.
"She isn't sure about you. She thinks you lie." Voldemort said, his eyes narrowing serpent-like.
Shit.
"What should we do?" Bellatrix said with a note of worry in her voice. She had always had a soft spot for Regulus; he too hated most people.
"Crucio" Voldemort whispered as Regulus felt the burning wash over him, "he will tell us the truth or the pain will only get worse."
He could feel it everywhere, every singular nerve was screaming out in agony, his toes felt as if they were going to burn off, his muscles tensed so hard he felt them rip under his skin, it was the most pure pain anyone could ever feel. His brain started to fog over, overwhelmed by paroxysm. But there was something Voldemort hadn't thought about before casting the spell, if it would have any effect on his mind.
Regulus blinked away the fog, he was used to the agony after his childhood at Grimmauld Place. He thought as clearly as he could, only a few thoughts though. Andromeda. Sirius. Pandora. Nymphadora. James. The Order. He had to stay strong for them. He took a deep breath, ignoring the shaking spasms in his hands and the quaking of his legs as they started to buckle under the strain.
"Now Regulus, why are you here?" Voldemort asked, his voice icy.
"To serve you, my Lord." Regulus gritted his teeth.
"Lies!" Voldemort yelled after a loud hiss from the snake. His wand swept through the air and Regulus felt it. His skin tearing apart across his chest and the blood welling over the surface. The cut was deep and it exposed a rib bone covered in the most sickening crimson blood, slivering at speed down him staining his clothes and dripping on to the floor creating a puddle of his lineage in the deepest puce cardinal red.
His knees bucked and he fell, his face going a ghostly pale from loss of blood.
"Now tell me the truth, why are you here?" Voldemort yelled.
Regulus eyelid's had become heavy and his eyesight was diminishing, his mind was nearly gone, on the brink of fainting away into the darkness. He was going to die. He had failed.
His body fell onto the floor. It was too late now, he was gone. Dead man dreaming of life. Dreaming of happiness, freedom, love. But now all was taken, even life itself.
He felt his breaths getting caught in his throat. All was slipping away. That damned snake always knew the truth. It was inevitable. He would never had succeeded. He would always have died on that cold, hard, dark marble floor.
"For revenge." Regulus spluttered, blood flying from his moth and spraying the floor, "revenge to those that said I was weak, the second child. The spare."
There was silence and Regulus wondered if he had already died.
Then there was a hiss, it went on for eternity, spelling out his fait.
There was a flash and then Regulus could feel no more. All was numb.
"That was the truth." Bellatrix echoed. Regulus could hear. Why could he still hear?
He felt two hands grabbing him and lifting his fragile body up. Muscular arms. Barty's arms.
His head lolled back and through the sliver of a gap in-between his eyelids and socket he could see the ceiling, a blur of chandeliers and darkness.
'That was the truth'.
Regulus kept repeating the words inside his head over and over again. 'That was the truth?'
But it was. Deep down he knew it was. He was Sirius's shadow. But he was doing something Sirius never could, he was the better one. It was revenge. Revenge against his mother who had spat that she regretted having a second child and that she wished him dead because Sirius was all she needed. Revenge against the father that ignored him like he wasn't his son. He was important. He wasn't the back-up or second option. He mattered.
Darkness.
When Regulus awoke he found himself in a spare room at Malfoy Manor, laying on a four poster bed. His head hurt. It was worse than the hand over he had had that morning. The morning, it felt like a lifetime ago now. He tried to sit up and collapsed down immediately, his head spinning and the room twisting.
He felt something in his trouser pocket stabbing him.
As he reached to remove it he realised he wasn't wearing a top. He felt his chest. There was definitely going to be a scar. Another one to the collection he had been making on his chest. The most recent one was stinging and raw and crossed over one of his already there scars. The other one handn't been touched though, he was greatful for that, he didn't want the scars to get worse.
He pulled the object out if his pocket and realised it was the letter that Nymphadora had written earlier; he must have taken it with him. He unfolded it and began to read the scrawl of green crayon.
(A letter from Nymphadora Tonks to Nymphadora Tonks age 18)
Hey future me,
I hope your well. Well at least better than me. I don't know what life is like for you now. Happy birthday! 18 already!
I bet your the most beautiful person in the world now. I hope you are smart but haven't given up on annoying people because it's fun.
Life's hard at the moment and I don't really know what to do. Mum and dad aren't here anymore. I wish they were. I miss them. I'm trying to forget that night but I still get nightmares about it. I hope you don't get nightmares. I hope you don't wet the bed because that's such a babyish thing to do.
I'm with Reggie at the moment and his 'friend' James but I know that they've seen eachother naked and liked it. They think I'm stupid but I think they're just stupid.
I hope you can still speak French. And I hope your still calling people rude names without them knowing it in French.
I miss my old life. I wish I was still in school with my friends but if you ever mention that I miss school I swear I will time travel and come and kick your butt.
Also James living room smells like dog. It's awful.
See ya,
Tonks xxx
Regulus sighed and looked out the window. It was fully dark now and the stars were like little diamonds glittering down on him. He remembered what Andromeda used to say when she got some thing, it was always 'bless my lucky star' or something like that, but as Regulus layed there staring up into space he didn't want to bless the stars but ask them for a favour.
'Please, if the stars really do have any power, I beg of you, don't let that girl be harmed. Keep her safe from all evil and guide her always in the right direction. Watch over her and make sure she is always illuminated by your light.
May the constellations always lead her to safety.'