Chapter 2 - Coma Berenices
20 March 1979
The sun peeped over the floral curtains in Mayfield Cottage, sending ripples of silky smooth rays of light across the ceiling. The world seemed still. Nothing stirred, nothing wanted to stir, everything wanted to be still and silent, to save a savor these precious seconds. Mary was awake though, she could feel the time move except she didn't want it to.
She looked around their bedroom, the obvious touches of both her and Marlene. The room and the life she would be leaving tomorrow.
Marlene hadn't wanted to live in a cottage at first but with a bit of persuasion and promises of their forever home, they had agreed.
The bedroom was small and at first glance you would have thought it very feminine and floral due to the soft furnishings, gentle fluffy cushions, and flower covered duvet, but if you looked closer you would see the vinyl's, and rock posters, and even the Black Dalian sat in the corner.
Mary had been awake for hours, just sat and staring in bed; their mind filing and sorting memories.
The first time they had met was on the Hogwarts express, Marlene's smile and laugh had been mesmerising, the way her eyes twinkled and the dimples that appeared on their pale cheeks. Mary had known then that they would get along.
She remembered the first time she had got her period and had been very sick, all the other girls had left her crying in the toilet, except for Marlene who stayed. They held back her hair, when she was throwing up, and held her in their arms when they were sat shacking, crying on the floor. Mary knew then that they would be great friends.
In second year, a bunch if boys were mocking them and being mean, jinxing them in the hallway so she couldn't move, throwing her books out windows, and even once setting her braids on fire. As soon as Marlene had heard what was happening, they went and jinxed them in front of the whole school so that the boys threw up slugs, and for good measure they had put a curse on them so that if they ever hurt Mary again, their hair would set on fire. But more than that, Marlene had stuck by her from that day on to protect her, helped re-braid her hair to get rid of the burnt bits, and had shared all of their books. Mary had known then that they would be best friends for life.
In forth year, she had been dating boys and Marlene had already come out as non-binary and a lesbian but their friendship had been going strong still. But Mary felt different, she felt she had been keeping a secret, not only from herself but also Marlene, which hurt her more. She would never forget that day in the library when she broke down and admitted that she didn't feel like a girl and that she didn't like boys. How Marlene just listened to them spill their heart out with no judgement. How when she admitted she had feelings for Marlene, they didn't run but pulled them in and kissed her in the library. How they never pressured them to come out or even figure out herself. Mary had known then that she would love them forever.
And they had done, they had been together for the rest of their time at Hogwarts, they had gone to prom together, and since they had moved in together and got a cat called Toastie.
Mary looked over at Marlene, who was sleeping peacefully beside her, and a single teardrop rolled down her cheek. Today was the last day they would have together before she left, and it hurt. It hurt their heart and was breaking their soul.
Marlene woke up yawning, and looked up at Mary. It hurt them to see Mary upset. They reached up and wiped away the tear.
"Good morning honey," Marlene croaked, "how long have you been awake?"
"Only a few minutes." Mary lied. Marlene sighed.
There was scraping at the door for a few moments before the door opened and in came the little padding sound of paws. Toastie jumped up on to the bed in-between them, seeking attention and cuddles.
"Mowww" Toastie complained at them.
"Good morning Toastie" Mary said, scratching him behind the ears with a laugh.
Marlene swallowed. "Mary, you know we'll be okay, right? In a few months you'll be back, and we'll get our life back." Marlene said with a face of confidence, but a sligh lip bite at the end told a different story.
"I know." Mary paused, "I know. We will be able to be with each other, it's... it's just hard... leaving you..."
"And it's hard for me to let go of you." Marlene said with a comforting smile.
The morning was a slow one that consisted of a lot cuddling with Toastie before they finally got out of bed and got changed.
Breakfast time. Toastie had already eaten, after being served by a cat feeder that had been enchanted, and was fully prepared to be a pain while they were cooking their own breakfast.
"What do you want Marls?" Mary asked, looking through the pantry.
"I don't mind!" called Marlene running down the stairs to join them.
"You know that doesn't help. I didn't mind that's why I was asking you." Mary replied putting her hands on her hips in mock annoyance.
"Yeh but," Marlene started putting their own hands under Mary's on her hips and pulling her in, "it was just being polite. What's your favorite... Hmm... Let me think. It couldn't be crêpes. My crêpes could never be your favorite, especially not my strawberry and whipped cream ones... could they..."
Mary smiled. "Your so silly." she said going to kiss them. "Fine, crêpes."
"Perfect!" Marlene said going over to the fridge and pulling out whipped cream and a box of strawberries.
They paused for a moment to look at the freshly printed picture of them all, they had taken the picture last night just in case it would be the last time that they were all together. There was little Marlene looking back up at them, next to them a smiling Sirius Black. Marlene shook themself.
"Commençons!" Marlene said dramatically.
The batter had been made and the pan was warm, things were going good, if you excused the splodges of flour that was on both Marlene and Mary's noses.
"I've never done this part before" Mary said getting ready to pour the mixture into the pan.
"Oh gosh no!" Marlene said taking the bowl out of Mary's hands before she poured it all in, "we spoon it in quickly, then we use this," they held up a râteau-rozell and demonstrated, "then we go in a large circle, moving out as the batter spreads out! Et voilà ! Basique!"
Mary burst out laughing at the silly smile Marlene was pulling.
"Now you do it with me" Marlene said standing behind Mary and taking her hands. Their body's were together, the comforting feeling of skin on skin. Marlene kissed Mary on the neck and saw Mary blush like a little girl.
"Spoon in the mixture... spread it out with the râteau-rozell... let it cook for a moment... get ready to flip... and flip!" Marlene exclaimed. The crêpe did in fact flip but then it also flopped on to the floor.
"Oh Merlin! I'm so sorry!" Mary said bending down to pick it up. It was Marlene's turn to burst out laughing.
"That was the worst pancake flip I have ever seen in my life but you don't need to apologize!" Marlene said throwing the pancake into the bin.
"Maybe you should make the crêpes" Mary said smiling, as she walked over the the green wooden table they had in the kitchen.
"Maybe I should." Marlene said kissing Mary on the forehead.
Marlene got on with making the crêpes whilst Mary sat down at the table painting water colours.
Around 20 minutes later, Marlene finished making all the crêpes and placed the most perfectly presented strawberry and whipped cream crêpes in front of Mary and banana and whipped cream crêpes in their place and sat down.
"Took in!" Marlene said flamboyantly.
They were in fact the best crêpes Marlene had ever made, cooked to a 't', and they were somehow comforting to Mary's worrying mind.
"Delicious." Mary said, mouth half full of crêpe.
"I didn't notice!" Marlene said sarcastically, their eyes glittering with content.
The afternoon soon came around, and so, the afternoon activities commenced. Marlene had decided to teach Mary how skateboard and therefore they had now walked to the local skatepark.
The skatepark was situated in the middle of a beautiful large park. There was fields spread in green, trees spurting up covered in waving leaves of many shades, and people running and laughing across the fields. The sun was high in the sky and the air was cool but without the chill.
"Right, so since your a beginner I advise that you don't try anything fancy or you'll get hurt. Let's start with balance. Put down the skateboard and step on, I'll hold your hands to help you balance." Marlene said, stepping in front of the skateboard and placing their toe on it so it wouldn't slide. Mary got on, her hands tightly clasped in Marlene's.
"Oh, this isn't that hard, it doesn't move." Mary said excitedly.
"That's because I'm keeping it still, doofus." Marlene laughed, "so, if you can feel it slightly, the board can move side to side. Try putting your weight on each side to feel it... Good. This is how you turn. Since we aren't going to be turning at this point, I want you to try and put all your weight as center as possible. Just so you can feel it first, I'm gonna pull you along a little bit." Marlene said beginning to walk backwards so that Mary moved with them.
"Woah," Mary said wobbling slightly, their pink cardigan fluttering slightly, "it kinda feels like there's nothing underneath you."
"Okay Silly-feet. Now your gonna have to push yourself with one foot. I'm gonna come to the side of you and hold one of your hands, got it?" Marlene chuckled.
"Okie-dokie!" Mary said confidently as Marlene moved to the side of them.
Mary pushed off and started to slowly move forward, then again and again, moving faster and faster until Marlene was doing a slight jog to keep up.
"I think you've got it!" Marlene exclaimed.
"I think I've got it! Mary replied astounded.
"Now your going to try without me, okay?" Marlene asked.
"Okay!" Mary replied letting go of Marlene's hand.
Mary pushed off forward slightly wobbling but remaining balanced.
Marlene watched her with a proud smile on her face and couldn't help thinking that they felt like a mother chicken watching their young fly for the first time. That was a very weird thought that Marlene quickly dismissed because it made theme feel iky, but they couldn't help thinking, no, longing, for a child to raise, with Mary. Would that ever happen?
Marlene shook themself and looked up to check on Mary, to see her reaching the end of the pavement.
"Turn! Shift your weight to the side! Keep turning! No! Stay on that one side!" Marlene yelled.
There was a caffundle of sound before Mary ended on the floor laughing hysterically. Marlene ran over to her.
"You've cut your knee!" Marlene said worriedly.
"It's fine, it's only a graze, it'll heal." Mary dismissed.
"That's quite deep Mary, does it not hurt?"
"Only a little bit." Mary said, trying to stand up.
"No more skateboarding for you today."
"What! I'm fine, really."
"No your not, there's blood flowing down you leg, and that's a nasty cut with little bits of dirt in."
"Your like my mother." But Mary agreed to stop, her leg shaking slightly as Marlene helped them up.
They went and sat on a slight hill, surrounded by daffodils and daisies. Marlene turned to patch up the wound as Mary looked out across the fields, trying to ignore the searing pain.
"You haven't told me much about your mother." Marlene said trying to distract her.
"Well, there isn't much to say about her, she was a Muggle so people usually find it boring when I talk about her." Mary replied.
"I won't find it boring, I real do want to know about your family." Marlene said, twisting to sit beside her.
"Well, my mum was a primary school teacher, she loved painting and crafts. Err... She was a very kind and supportive mother even when I decided to take a different path from her and have a totally different life. I'm taking about becoming a wizard, she should have acted all dramatically and said I couldn't go, like, she didn't even know anything about it, thought it was a prank at first, but, when I said I wanted to go, she agreed. I realize now how hard that must have been for her, with her religious beliefs and all that."
"Religious beliefs?" Marlene asked.
"Yeh, she was a Jew so I guess it must have been hard for her to understand that magic was real, but either way I know she would have supported me and my choice, that was just her, and I guess being Jewish also helped her accept me. In Judaism family comes first, so... It was good in a way... She would love me unconditionally even if I didn't believe in G-d."
"Was your father Jewish too?" Marlene inquired.
"No, he was more spiritual, but he died when I was seven so I don't have a lot of memories of him... He died of cancer, bone cancer, and they couldn't save him, the Muggle doctors.
"Do you miss him?" Marlene asked rapping her arm around Mary's shoulders.
"Of course. But in a way, no... I don't have a lot to miss about him, 'cus I can't remember much... But I did miss him just not being there, it was like an empty space in my life, it wasn't him I missed... Just the father I could have had."
"It was kind of like that for me too, except my father never died." Marlene said quietly.
"Hmm?" Mary prompted gently.
Marlene sighed. "My dad... He was a bad man... He had his good moments and his terrible ones... I remember when I was younger he was so kind and caring, always smiling and making me laugh... But... He changed, he became distant, almost abusive... He was horrible to Mikkie and Mum... And me... He would have tantrums and yell and threaten us... He would come and go as he pleased and got into drinking and gambling... It was scary... But Hogwarts was my escape and now Mikkies too... He can't hurt us... I miss the dad I could have had but wasn't there, I don't miss Him though. I couldn't miss him." Marlene said with an aching sadness in their eyes.
Mary pulled Marlene into a tight hug, "We will never treat our children like that, ever." Marlene nodded, their head still in Mary's curly hair, a silent tear running from their eye.
"I will always be here for you, Marls, no matter what, even when we're miles apart." Mary whispered, followed but the pang of memory that Mary would be leaving tomorrow, "now go, enjoy your skateboarding now!"
This sun slowly sank through the sky and was comfortably perched on the horizon when they realized to time.
Mary had made numerous daisy chains, a daffodil bouquet, and had finished their water colour painting by that time and Marlene was finally getting exhausted, so, through to sunset's hazy air they walked home singing 'Wow' by Kate Bush.
They reached the turquoise gate the had painted together, wondered past the garden that they care for together and through the cottage door.
Toastie ran up to them demanding attention and wizzing around the house like he was in some kind of Wizzlecrack.
They wondered through the kitchen and sat down on the sofa at the end looking out onto the sunset, Toastie gratefully much calmer after his sudden burst if energy, sat between them, yawning.
There was something melancholy and almost mournful how it sank, like it was saying goodbye to it's favorite planet or constellation.
"Marlene I painted something for you," Mary said, pulling out a beautifully painted arrangement of flowers, "there are yellow Acaia Roses, American Cowslip, Sweet Alyssum, Amaryllis, Angelica, Coreopsis Arkansa, a Cedar Leaf, Achilles Millefolia, Michaelmas Daisies, some Lint, a deep red Carnation, Butterfly Weed, Coltsfoot, Convolvulus, a little white Catchfly, a flowering Reed, Honeysuckle Coral, Hemlock, and Asphodel.
"That is a right mix! And a lot of them too. It's beautiful M, I love it." Marlene said leaning across to kiss her.
Mary pulled them onto of her and they stayed like that for an age kissing and cuddling.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
"I love you more."
"Oh shut up soppy-pants"
"Make me." Mary said.
"Oh god I'm gonna miss you." Marlene said kissing down her neck and onto her collar bone, before resting their head on Mary's chest as Mary kissed the top of their head; their skin sending fluttering sparks between them.
Soon the night sky reviled itself in all its glory, tiny pinpricks of light dancing across a sea of black. Mary was sound asleep her breaths like the sound of the ocean, but Marlene was still awake, their thoughts unfilterable and quiet frankly a mess. They pushed them all to the side and tried to hang in to these precious seconds, praying to keep time still, for nothing to move, but everything wanted to move, it wanted to move on, faster and faster...
As they started out across the night sky they made a silent promise to the starts, one if love everlasting and hope for being reunited...
(A letter from Mary McDonald to Marlene McKinnon (d. 2 April 1979) )
My dearest love,
Today is the 21st of March and I have arrived safely at Hogwarts. Lily is good company and she is funny but never as funny as you my love. Though it has only been one day I miss you too much.
I have been setting up my room today though it is very different to the dorms that we shared went we were at Hogwarts. For starters I have my own ensuite which is lovely and I have a double bed!
Dumbldoor hasn't arrived yet, contraire to what he said about us coming down with him but it's Dumbldoor so it's to be expected.
The food is good here, possibly better than what we had when we were here, crazy to think that that was only a year and a bit ago!
I have yet to go to the Astrology Tower for I fear it may be in quiet a bit of neglect. However, I do hope to tackle it soon.
All my kisses,
Mary xxx
(A letter from Marlene McKinnon to Mary McDonald)
Hello my love,
Today's date is the 22nd of March and I am very happy to hear that you are settling in well. My replies may be slower than usual but that is due to my frequent change of position.
Dumbldoor has sent me out on a mission that I can tell you about due to the possibility that our letters my be incepted by unwelcome hands. I have left Toastie in the caring hands of Pandora so you don't have to worry about him!
Things have changed quiet about since you have left, which is shocking because it was only yesterday. Things are a little bit dodgy between James and his secret lover (you know who I'm on about) and it's been quiet dramatic with a lot of tears. Mostly from Sirius.
I would also like to mention that I accidentally shrunk your cardigan in the wash, you know the green one with daisies on. Sorry.
Although life has changed dramatically, my love for you still is as strong,
Your Marls xxxxxx
(A letter from Mary McDonald to Marlene McKinnon (d. 2 April 1979))
Dearest Marls,
The date is the 22nd of March. I miss you so much and I know that you will be screaming at this letter going 'stop being such a soppy-pants!' but it is true, my heart aches for you.
I decided today to help Lily in the potions classroom so that it wasn't as drab but mostly to make sure that she didn't turn it into a shrine for the arts.
Snape likes to try come talk to her in his horrible slimy way that makes your skin crawl but he leaves her when he realises that I'm there.
I've got that picture of all of us on my wall, we all look so happy, it almost makes me believe that that wasn't the day when we all got split up.
My love for you is everlasting,
Mary xxx
(A letter from Marlene McKinnon to Mary McDonald)
Dearest M,
Today is the 23rd of March. I'm not getting much sleep recently but I will push through, even now when I'm writing to you at 2 a.m. Wait that would make it the 24th, silly me.
The days feel long yet they are all just a blur now to me. I'm under a lot of pressure and I have many more responsibilities within our group.
To catch you up with what's happening in the group, well I don't know a lot to be honest, communication is scarce, but I do know that Remus and Sirius are doing well and that Toastie has settled into his new home very well (not much of a surprise since it's Pandora!).
My love, sometimes, though it is hard to admit, I look up at the night sky and feel like you are close to me. It's like we are looking up at the same moon and stars and it makes me feel like you could be sat right next to me, stargazing too. The stars hold our secrets and promises and love, and that is precious, the one thing that time and distance can't take away.
Thinking of you every waking second,
Your Marls xxxxxx
(A letter from Mary McDonald to Marlene McKinnon (d. 2 April 1979)
My dearest Marlene,
The date is the 24th of March. I don't know how I would survive without you. The nights feel so lonely without you beside me. I miss you so much.
I decided to tackle the Astrology Tower, and it was as bad as I thought it would be. I found many dead bodies of animals that had go trapped there and it was quite discussing, however Snape enjoyed removing the bodies, I don't know why, in fact I don't even know where he put them.
My love you need to sleep, not only are you really moody when you don't get enough, but also for your health.
I also look up at the stars at night, I feel like each somehow stores a memory for me. It's both sadness and happiness when I look up, I miss my fellow star lover.
Keeping you close to my heart,
Mary xxx
(A letter from Marlene McKinnon to Mary McDonald)
Mary my dear,
The date is the 26th of March, and my love has not dwindled.
Things are getting hectic down my end, but I will push through, so I can be with you. I've been thinking recently about our future, I want to adopt a child. A child that we can raise together. And I want to get married, so I guess more formally putting it, will you marry me Mary?
I will wait patiently for your reply,
Your Marlene xxxxxx
(A letter from Mary McDonald to Marlene McKinnon (d. 2 April 1979))
My Marlene,
Today's date is the 27th of March and of course I will marry you! Yes! Oh my love, I have been thinking about proposing to you too!
I can't believe you beat me to it!
As soon as we can we will get married, and I would love to raise a child, possibly children...
I forgot to mention it before but I don't mind that you shrunk that cardigan, I can re-stretch it, but you wouldn't know that, but don't worry about it!
Also, thank you for entrusting Pandora with Toastie and not someone like Sirius, she barely knows how to look after himself nevermind a cat as well.
Loving you always,
Mary xxx
P.S. pass on my happy birthday wishes to James!
(A letter from Mary McDonald to Marlene McKinnon (d. 2nd April 1979))
My dearest Marls,
Today's date is the 29th of March and I know you haven't responded yet but I wanted to update you anyway.
It's nearly been a week of teaching and the kids are lovely if not annoying. I have settled in well here but I wish I was with you more.
I hope that James had a good birthday, though u don't know if you were there with him.
I love you,
Mary xxx
(A letter from Mary McDonald to Marlene McKinnon (d. 2 April 1978))
My dearest Marls,
The date today is the 31st of March. I hope you are well. Don't worry about replying if you can't, I'll write to you anyways!
It's Saturday today and they've asked me to become the head of the Music Band, but I feel like you would have been way better than I was at it. Nevertheless I have agreed and I will push through, trying to impersonate your charisma and musical talent.
Pandora sent me a picture of Toastie by owl yesterday and he looks very happy in his new temporary home.
The moon misses us, my dear, it told me it feels lonely when you are not there with me. I'll come home as soon as possible.
Sending all my love and kisses in this letter,
Mary xxx
Though nothing had been even whispered in the wind about anything going not to plan, Mary had had a feeling that something was wrong when Marlene hadn't replied to them for a while, but still it stung more when she heard the news from an actual person; Marlene was dead.
She had been murdered by Voldemort himself while working for the Order on secret missions. She had fought hard till her last breath, in an almost bitter-sweet way, pride yet pain.
The news had hurt Mary more than anything ever had, it was almost debilitating. She didn't want to be asleep, she didn't want to be awake, the only sensation she had left was agony.
Her life had been reduced to an automatic schedule that she did without thought, complete numbness.
She had lost their other half, and with that all of her content had been snatched away by circumstance.
She was alone.
She was alone in a war.
'May the stars hold us forever in their memories, may they shine bright as our love did' Mary thought looking up at the stars.
Authors note:
Thanks for reading chapter 2! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it (take that last statement with a grain of salt pls). Also I will not be apologizing for my choices.
Au revoir