tears ricochet
James never wondered that Regulus would actually like him, but like, like like him.
From the moment they met, it was seen that likely, he and Regulus were doomed from the start and that there is no way they are gonna get along even if world peace was a thing. Because from James's perspective and maybe Sirius's too, Regulus had a bit of an issue and maybe lean to be a little mean to them for reasons Sirius refused to talk about. But the thing is Sirius seems to never see his faults in the terrible relationship he built with his brother, unlike with James. See James and Sirius were opposite kinds of people, but James always was the one to apologize first and was the bigger person at all times. James knew that there was no point in arguing, and also has a more logical approach to dealing with a dramatic arse like Sirius.
Whilst Regulus was more stubborn than a rock. Or maybe he is a rock who knows?
The point is they are both incapable of expressing emotion, and that makes communicating a little too difficult. But even James was too dim-witted to notice it at first until shit happened.
But for now, James noticed one thing and one thing only.
That Regulus's attitude towards him somehow shifted in a span of like two days, so fast that he wasn't sure whether to cry or to thank the gods that Regulus wasn't after his tail. He even had the idea that Regulus might have had a crush on him but that idea was scratched because that was a really dumb idea.
James noticed something oddly about Regulus, he was no longer glaring him in the eye or glancing daggers at him every time he talked. His eyes softened now every single time they met his, and he would turn away and laugh every time James said something stupid and Regulus would blush red. And for the thrill of it all his mean little comments turned to little smiles.
And that was kindly appreciated on James's part.
They were now walking home from work, and Regulus had the genius idea to go drink coffee at the place he and Pandora always go to.
Technically it's Remus's coffee shop, but Regulus didn't know that he and Sirius had a thing going on. He and Remus were just friends that went to frat parties at college and came home wasted. But they had a bond, sort of? like a trauma bond.
But Regulus seems thrilled that James is accompanying him since Pandora is always busy because she also teaches night and afternoon classes some days of the week.
"Remember when you stuffed chocolate cake into your mouth," James laughed, making Regulus giggle from the sudden flashback of the memory "To stop yourself from talkin' to me huh? look at what you are doing now you massive dickhead"
Regulus started to walk backwards to get a better look at James.
"What if I admit that am indeed a dickhead? didn't you get the hang of it the first day we met?" Regulus smiled, gosh James never knew he would be joking around with all of the people but Regulus.
James smirked and gave Regulus a push making Regulus trip himself.
"Bet you didn't know that, I'm a meanie too" James baffled sticking out his tongue to which Regulus responded by doing the same.
"Fuck, maybe you are?" Regulus smirked, and he really really thought he was dreaming about how fun every conversation he had with James was. He started to wonder if this was why Sirius preferred to stay with James than with him "Why are we talking about cocks anyway"
"You brought it up, I can tell you are a horny lad I must say"
"I'm only horny for two things, food, and sleep." Regulus paused to think and started his sentence again "Maybe also liquor"
James made a surprised face that made Regulus laugh.
"You are only fifteen you can't go out drinking like that?" James said jokingly, resting his hand on Regulus's shoulder.
"That was ten years ago! be a little bit serious would you"
"Im James, not Sirius I think you must have confused us" James exclaimed raising his hands in defeat.
This conversation would end with them walking into the coffee shop and sitting down and Regulus's face went as white as a ghost. Sirius was at the other end of the shop, legs spread all over the seat scrolling his phone with Remus staring at him with lust. Regulus was gonna tell James not to talk to Sirius or get his attention but it was all too late. His little happiness ended way too soon.
"Hey, Sirius, Pads!" James yelled so loud that other customers were eyeing him weirdly "Psst over here!"
Sirius didn't see Regulus first so he walked over excitingly until...
"Hiya James," Sirius's eyes met Regulus's, and suddenly his smile faded away "Oh, it's you"
"Hi. Before you say it I didn't want to meet you either" Regulus scoffed cunningly, facing towards the window so he didn't have to see the "disgrace of Sirius's face" that looked exactly like his father.
"Who said I wanted to meet you? talking to James are we, didn't you say you hated him?" Sirius started and James was sensing the danger of world war three "Suddenly he's all interesting isn't he, by the way, he's my best friend, James is like a brother to me, so don't hurt him ever or I’ll come after your arse"
Oh.
Something about "like a brother" made Regulus go off at Sirius.
"Like a brother? like I am not your own blood. You left me all alone with mother and father, and then you met James and started acting like a good brother, a thing you never were to me" Regulus uttered angrily his fists clenched again "Maybe it wasn't such a surprise you got disowned, you were a walking second place medal compared to me. You never did what they told, because you were too busy being so selfish and caring about yourself. And now you're making this whole personality about caring for others? really Sirius? I thought better of you"
James's jaw was on the floor, he looked like a kid who sees his divorced parents argueing and can't do anything to help because if he talks he’ll just makes them angrier, and most likely Sirius will make him pick sides.
"Oh like you were some kind of angel and saint?" Sirius scoffed "Like you aren't selfish? you literally told mother and father to disown me because I did something bad to you and it was so irrelevant you could laugh about it now. You told them to disown me probably to inherit all the fortune they have, hm Reggie?"
"That was years ago" Regulus rolled his eyes "What shall I do with that fortune, to buy myself a new brother?"
This was escalating so quickly that James couldn't even keep up.
James swore he saw a tear roll down Sirius's face.
"I was a kid too! it wasn't like I was trying my best!" Sirius screeched his face going really red "You think all your mean words don't hurt me? I tried my best to be the best example for you and still, it wasn't enough"
Regulus sighed and turn to face Sirius.
"Don't you get it? mother and father were the problem, we're just products of trauma that's all."
Sirius knew Regulus would never blame their parents, cause he knew at the end of the day, them being the worst parents he had ever seen was still his parents no matter how much he wished they weren't.
"I'm sorry," Regulus cried out this time with actual tears "My fear of being replaced overtook me. For the last few days, I hung out with James I got to know how good of a person he is. and that I could never ... " Regulus inhaled his anger "Be that way. Like the perfect brother and friend, he is. Because I'm too stubborn and mean. And I do not blame you to choose him over me. I would never. But some voice inside of me wishes that this all never happened and we can talk again like actual brothers, because this" He pointed between the both of them "Was never good for both of us and it will never be"
James opened his mouth to say something but Regulus grabbed his arm quickly and said a few words.
"Take care of my brother will you? it's been such a pleasure knowing you but I can't just talk to you and get reminded that you and Sirius" Regulus paused "Are brothers"
Regulus tried to leave and reach the door but James caught him in time to hug him.
"It's not your fault" James whispered.
"What?" Regulus exclaimed extremely confused.
Sirius was a ball of tears at this point and Remus also ran to give him a hug, or more so carry him inside his office so he wouldn't scare the customers away.
"it’s," James started again "Not your fault"
"I know!"
Regulus did know but he just always took the blame for his own problems even if it wasn't even his fault.
"It was never your fault, and it should never have been. You are enough, for me and for Sirius. Don't compare yourself to me. I grew up in a loving family, I know myself and my feelings. You didn't have that, and I'm proud of you to make it this far without being miserable, really"
James's words only make him cry harder but Regulus didn't want to see out of all people James see him cry, it almost made him feel even more vulnerable than he already was. So he escaped his hold and went running out the door. James initially wanted to run after him but it was interrupted by Remus saying that Sirius knew he would side with Regulus.
Gosh, what the fuck-
-
Two hours earlier...
Sirius was sitting on Remus's lap in his office while he used his computer to check his income.
He was cuddled up in his chest and playing with his hair. And Sirius had a hand on Remus's chest so he can feel his heartbeat going faster as he caressed him.
"Remus?" Sirius said suddenly.
"Hm?"
"Do you er," Sirius started unsure of what he was gonna say next "Have any siblings"
"No, I'm an only child. Me' mum and dad were the only companions I had" Remus responded easily and let loose a hand to pat Sirius's head.
"I have a brother, I think you know him. I've seen him get his morning coffee and talk to you"
"Yeah, he's a funny lad, intelligent too"
"He is, I was born thick, he on the other hand was my mother's favorite. Because he does everything so perfectly, meanwhile I was the problematic child. I only learned to write when I was four in a half, he learned at three. And Reggie is also very talented, he knows how to paint, sing, play the piano and a lot of things I could never learn. He's the perfect brother and son. I'm very proud of him."
"If yer' brotha' knew how you talked about him, I think he’ll be very happy indeed"
Sirius laughed at the thought of young Regulus smiling at him.
Selfishly he wants to see that smile again.