Jigsaw
Regulus Black was a stupid man. I mean really, he was an idiot. He never should have reached out to Euphemia Potter and he didn’t realize this fact until the morning after. I mean honestly, it was a completely stupid thing for him to do.
What on Earth could a retired lawyer do to help him? Why on Earth did he put his trust in the mother of a man he did not know and really was not very fond of? He wished he could blame it on being drunk but he hadn’t been. He hadn’t had a single drop in a while. The only person or thing he could blame for his stupidity was himself.
He wasn’t thinking about anything. He clearly did not think through the possible repercussions for his band.
If Tom or anyone at the death eaters found out Regulus was looking for a way out of the contract there would surely be hell to pay. The biggest question that was on the forefront of Regulus’s mind was simply, ‘What is the worst they can do?’
The answer was unknown but Regulus knew that their worst would be absolutely awful.
As Regulus rolled out of bed he felt his stomach grumble. Sighing, he ignored it and hopped in the shower. He had more important things to do than eat. He would just do it later.
First and foremost, he had to worry about a song. Was putting it off to the day of a sustainable plan? No, probably not. He would have to work on that in Belgium. Perhaps he would just sit down and write on the plane.
Of course, inspiration doesn’t just come to him but maybe if his brain knew how vital it was that he get these songs done it would give him a break.
When he got out of the shower he put on sweats and a band tee and ignored the knocks at his door. He knew it wasn’t Evan or Pandora based on the loudness and in all honesty, the Rosier twins are the only people he is going to be able to deal with at the moment.
He thought the knocking was done and got situated on the bed but of course, it wasn’t. Why don’t people have common decency to just leave people alone. I mean god, he was in a hotel room. He had most definitely heard the knock. If he wanted to answer he would have.
“Regulus, I know you’re in there.” a voice, presumably his brother called out. “Open the door please.”
Regulus groaned and dragged himself off the bed. When he cracked open the door, his brother pushed past him and went into the room.
“What do you want, Sirius? I am busy.” Regulus said
Sirius grinned. “Oh Reggie, you have always been so irritable. I mean honestly, the day has barely even started and already something has put you in a sour mood.”
“Do you have a reason for being here? I have to write and I could really do without distractions.”
“You really are no fun. Won’t even let me bother you for very long.” Sirius said. “Basically, as you may or may not know, Andromeda lives in Belgium and as far as I am aware that is our next stop is it not?”
“Yes Sirius, it is. No need to ask questions you know the answer to.”
“Anyways, I was texting with her and she tells me that you have yet to meet Dora.” Sirius then paused as if asking a question.
“That would be correct. On with your point please.”
“Well, we are in Belgium for a week and I was wondering if you would want to meet up with Andi, Ted and Dora. Andi has missed you terribly and I would really appreciate it if you would meet up with her.”
Regulus sighed. The only family member other than Sirius that Regulus spoke to was Narcissa. I mean sure, it wasn’t like he had ever actively avoided Andromeda but he hadn’t seen her in years. When they were younger it was always Sirius and Andi. Regulus had never really gotten super close with her but he did care about her a great deal.
“Yeah, sure Sirius, I’ll go with you if you want to see them.”
Sirius’s grin almost doubled in size. “Perfect. Andi said that we could go to her house and she’ll make us lunch. Remus and James will be coming too of course and-”
“Why on Earth would Remus and James be going?” Regulus interrupted.
“Well, Andi has known them for years. She met them when we graduated Hogwarts and she absolutely adores them.”
Regulus felt himself stiffen. He knew it was stupid but every single time he hears about Sirius’s life he cannot help but feel left out. He knows that Sirius had to leave but he wishes he hadn’t missed so much.
What hurts worse is that Andromeda didn’t have to miss it. Andromeda got to see Sirius graduate from Hogwarts and start dating Remus and break out of his shell. Regulus only saw Sirius at his worst.
“Right.” Regulus said, his voice strained. “Well, now that that’s done, could you please leave me? I have to write.”
Sirius nodded, a smile still present. “Sure Regulus. See you soon.”
Regulus nodded, watching as the door opened and closed before crashing back onto his bed. He needed to write but no longer had it in him.
**************
A few hours passed and around 10 there was a light knock on the door. Smiling, Regulus went to open the door and greeted Pandora who was unfortunately accompanied by Barty, Dorcas and Evan.
The four piled into his room and clambered onto the bed.
“We have to be down to the venue in a few hours for soundcheck.” Pandora said lightly.
Evan grinned. “Hopefully tonight's crowd is like the one last time.”
Dorcas nodded. “They really were such a fun audience.”
“Who cares what the audience is like?” Barty asked. “We’re making money off them whether or not they are enjoying themselves.”
“And this ladies and gentlemen is why we keep the amount Barty says to a minimum in interviews.” Pandora laughed. “Honestly Barty, you need to be kinder about your fans.”
Barty rolled his eyes. “I know Dora. You tell me all the time. At least I’m kind to them in person but it’s hard to be nice when they leak a rumor about me making out with Maggie Smith and photoshop a picture to match it.”
Dorcas snorted. “Oh my god, I had forgotten about that! Jesus, that was amazing!”
Barty scowled and hid himself under Regulus’s comforter.
“As much as I am enjoying this conversation,” Regulus started. “Why exactly are you guys in my room?”
“Well, I had to let you know we’d be leaving in a couple hours and the rest of these morons decided to come and give you some love. We know you must be stressed.” Pandora stated simply.
Regulus smiled lightly. “You truly are a gem Dora.”
“Hey!” Dorcas exclaimed, tossing a pillow at Regulus. “It was my idea to come and comfort you.”
Regulus stumbled back dramatically as the pillow hit his chest. “Yes, well, Pandora would never come into my room and assault me with pillows so therefore, she is a gem and you are not.”
Dorcas rolled her eyes. “Really though Regulus, are you okay? Riddle put a lot of pressure on you and we are all really sorry about it.”
Regulus nodded. “I’m fine, I just cannot write. Everything I come up with is shit and I have no old songs to work off of.”
Evan raised an eyebrow. “What about those songs you wrote for our first album? I mean they are old but the lyrics were good. Very slow and sad like the stuff you’re making now.”
The room went silent. Barty hit Evan hard in the arm making Evan’s eyes go wide with realization.
The songs he wrote back when the band first started had never even been considered to be on one of their albums for a few reasons. The first was obviously because Riddle didn’t like the sound but the bigger reason was that when Regulus wrote them he was in an extremely dark place and he couldn’t get through a single one of them without crying.
“You know you guys don’t have to act like that.” Regulus said. “It’s been long enough. I don’t feel like sobbing everytime I see a picture of him.”
Pandora looked at him with a look that was a mix between pity and pride. “We know you aren’t fragile Regulus but he was a dick. Rastaban isn’t exactly a good topic for any of us.”
To his credit, Regulus did not tense when he heard the name. He didn’t flinch either which was impressive. “You know what evan, I think I will try to find that journal. I had some good lyrics.”
Evan smiled shyly and nodded. “Yeah, it really did.”
“You know what I think?” Barty asked, clearly trying to change the subject.
“We don’t but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before you tell us.” Dorcas said exasperated.
“Quite right you are Cas.” Barty smirked. “I think that Dorcas is ridiculously infatuated with that blonde girl.”
All eyes turn to Dorcas who grins rather shyly as a subtle blush creeps up her neck. Regulus chuckles to himself while exiting the room and fishing through his backpack.
In all honesty, he knew exactly where the journals were; he just wasn’t sure if he was ready to share the songs. Unfortunately, it was slowly turning into the only option he had.
_____________________
James was unsure what to do with the information he had gotten from Barty last night. On one hand he was of course thrilled that he knew why Regulus didn’t like him but on the other hand he had absolutely no idea how he could fix it.
James of course knew of Regulus’s existence when he and Sirius went to Hogwarts but he didn’t really know anything about the boy. He didn’t even know what he looked like. The fact that Regulus had been harboring a grudge all these years was not going to bode well with James.
It would be quite difficult to get him to admit it but he really was a people pleaser. He wanted to be liked. In fact, he yearned for it. The first time he met Lily’s sister was a difficult day for him. Petunia absolutely hated him and he didn’t have the slightest clue as to why. Lily had told him it was just how Petunia was but it still bothered him even now.
James was honestly quite fond of Regulus. (At least as fond as one can be after only knowing someone for a few days and finding them extremely attractive despite the fact they hate your guts.)
The revelation that someone has hated you for years would surely dissuade most people from wanting to get to know said person but for James it simply made the urge stronger. He now had more of a reason to talk to Regulus. He wanted Regulus to like him more than ever. The slight crush he was harboring was only part of the reason now.
When James leaves his room he sees the entire band exit Regulus’s room and he waves at Barty.
“Jim,” Barty said. “Do you happen to know where the very dreamy Lupin is?”
James blinked at him, confused. “Yes. He’s getting breakfast with Remus. Why?”
Evan, who had come up behind Barty, laughed lightly. “If you think he is trying to cheat on me, think again. He just really loves seeing the vein in Sirius’s forehead pop out anytime anyone looks at Lupin.”
This made James crack a smile. “Ah yes. I understand. I remember one time when Sirius was trying to keep his crush a secret, a boy asked Remus out and Sirius made his chemistry final explode.”
Barty cackled. “He is such a bitch. He and Regulus are so similar although, I think Regulus prefers psychological revenge.”
“Yes he does.” Evan confirmed. “He says he finds it more satisfying than a one time event.”
James raised his eyebrows. “So the black brothers are just petty arseholes?”
“Yes, yes they are.” Barty nodded. “Speaking of Regulus, I would really appreciate you not saying anything about what we talked about yesterday.”
James smirked. “I wasn’t planning on it but if it helps in my efforts to get him to like me then I may have no choice.”
Barty’s eyes narrowed. “He likes you plenty Jim. You just need to give him a minute to get past this grudge.”
“I was only teasing Barry.” James quipped. “I won’t tell Regulus that you are a shit secret keeper.”
“What on Earth did you tell him, Barty?” A cool voice asked from behind James.
James whipped his head around and his warm brown eyes met cool gray ones.
“Nothing that you have to worry about darling Regulus.” Barty said sweetly as Evan quickly walked to their room. “You shouldn’t be worrying about such trivial things when you have a song to finish.”
Regulus’s eyes narrowed. “I found one in the book Barty. What did you say?”
Barty shrugged and before Regulus could say anything he shuffled into his and Evan’s room, shutting the door very quickly.
Regulus clenched his jaw and turned to James. “Whatever he said was a lie. He always lies when he’s pissed.”
James nodded, unconvinced. “So you don’t hate me?”
Regulus raised his eyebrow. “No, I do.”
“Oh so not everything he said was a lie?”
“Well, what else did he say?”
“Nothing really.” James replied quickly. “I am curious though, why exactly do you dislike me?”
Regulus huffed. “So he told you?”
“He told me something. I just want to check to see if he was being truthful.”
“My reasons don’t matter. They are a bit unfair but you don’t need to know them.” Regulus said simply. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to head down to the venue. I have to play around with this song and make sure I won't have a mental breakdown while performing it.”
James raised both eyebrows. “Why on Earth would you have a breakdown performing a song?”
Regulus froze. He had clearly not meant to say that in front of James.
“No. You’ve learned too much about me already today. Maybe later.” Regulus said quickly before leaving. He took the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator.
James smiled as he tried to remember what he was doing.
Unfortunately, his thoughts had been overcome. ‘Regulus’ was all he could really think about. What would make Regulus have a breakdown? Why does Regulus hate him even though he doesn’t think his reasons are valid? Why on Earth did Regulus keep slipping small pieces of information to James and not giving him any sort of explanation.
Suddenly, the elevator door opened and Marlene came out.
“Oi James,” Marlene exclaimed. “What are you doing out in the hallway?”
“I don’t really remember marls.” James replied.
“Well, we have a few hours to kill before the concert and I need to impress Dorcas so would you like to come with me to get my hair done?” Marlene beamed
James raised his eyebrows. “Marls, you just went back to blonde. How much is your hair costing you?”
“Well, the blonde is lovely obviously and I do love how my roots are poking through but I’ve decided that I want the dark cherry coke color.” Marlene said. “Also, it’s costing me nothing. Why do you think I invited you?”
James glared at the girl as she hooked her arm with his and dragged him to the elevator. As much as he hated to admit it, he was glad to pay for Marlene's hair. He loved how excited she would get everytime she did something new to it and he had more than enough money to spare.
The salon that she had found was very fun. The music was subtle and there were posters everywhere and the lady who helped Marlene was so kind. James was not completely sure what the two were talking about but the conversation was lively and Marlene kept laughing so it had to be good.
Although she would rarely admit it, Marlene is a certified genius. She knows 7 languages (English, Spanish, French, Greek, Latin, German and a bit of Welsh), she played multiple instruments and she had an IQ of 142. If anyone ever mentioned it she would blush fiercely and deny it but it was true. She didn’t like playing dumb but she hated when people found out. She was somewhat of a burnt out gifted kid although she was still very gifted. Her parents had been extremely strict and expected her to get top marks. When she hit Uni she finally let herself relax a bit. She still graduated with top scores in all her classes but she was finally allowing herself to enjoy academics.
Another thing she refused to admit was that she worked for a tech start up with her friend, Benji. She had explained it to James multiple times but he never knew what she was talking about. Luckily, it meant that she could work remotely and do whatever she wanted.
While James watched the two talk, he smiled to himself. Seeing Marlene happy and lively was one of his favorite things.
“El pagará. Básicamente es mi sugar daddy.” Marlene said as the lady was finishing blow drying her hair.
Now, James obviously didn’t speak Spanish but he did hear her say Sugar Daddy and he did know what that meant.
“What, Marlene?” he stammered. “I am not your sugar daddy.”
Marlene smiled. “My bad James.”
“Tell her I am not your sugar daddy.” James said “Or I won’t pay.”
“Quiere que sepas que no es mi sugar daddy. Está totalmente enamorado del hermano de su mejor amigo que conoció hace tres días.” she said “Sin embargo, él pagará.”
“What else did you say?” James asked
“Nothing important James darling.” Marlene said with a smile. “Now pay the lovely lady and tell me my hair looks good.”
James smiled and pulled out his card. He paid and said, “Marlene, my love, your hair always looks amazing but it looks absolutely phenomenal today. Dorcas will probably fall at your feet when she sees you.”
Marlene smiled as the two exited the salon. “Now James, I did not do this for a woman. I did this for myself. But, if a certain lovely singer happened to fall at my feet it would be but a mere bonus.”
James laughed and haled them a cab. They were running a bit late for the greenroom but they didn’t really need to be there for three hours before it started. As they drove Marlene kept fidgeting with her hair.
“You good Marls?” James asked.
Marlene took a breath. “You know I didn’t do this for Dorcas right? It’s important to me that you know that.”
James looked at her sideways. “Of course I know that Marls. You’ve been wanting hair like this for a while and it looks great. I was just kidding back there.”
Marlene smiled. “Well obviously it looks great. I always look great.”
“That is very true.”
The two laughed all the way to the venue and to backstage where they saw Remus and Sirius as well as the band minus one Regulus Black.
When the two entered the room Dorcas, who had just been saying something, stopped talking and stared at Marlene for a moment.
“Oi, Cas!” Evan whispered. “Close your mouth. You’ll swallow flies.”
Dorcas snapped back to reality and threw a shoe at Evan. “Don’t be a prat Rosier.” She glared, turning back to Marlene. “The red looks great on you.”
Marlene blushed lightly. “Thanks.”
“What the hell Marls!” Sirius yelled. “I thought you were going to take me to your next appointment.”
Marlene laughed. “It was the plan but I saw James first and he has pretty deep pockets.”
“Hey, I’d pay for you too.” Sirius said matter of factly.
“I know you would but you’d also insist on dying your hair as well and I don’t think you could pull off the red.”
James laughed as he stepped out of the room. The two of them could go on for a while and he wanted to find the missing Serpent.
He slowly made his way to the small alley that they had been in the other night and sure enough, Regulus Black was sitting there, smoking with a journal that James hadn’t seen yet open on his lap.
_______________
Regulus was a mess. It had been almost two years since Rastaban and yet these songs were opening up wounds as if they were fresh. He liked to think that he had forgotten about Rastaban but seeing how vulnerable these lyrics were made it clear that he hadn’t.
The one that he had decided to sing was called Jigsaw. It was definitely still vulnerable but it was also more general. It didn’t get quite as far into what the relationship had been like but still touched on the manipulation and heartbreak that he had felt.
As he was sitting in the green room with the other band mates he was beyond stressed.
“Reg, you have to eat something. You’re shaking like mad.” Dorcas said, offering him a plate full of sandwiches.
Regulus shook his head. “If I eat right now I’ll surely throw it up. I’ll eat after the show.”
Dorcas gave him a skeptical look but didn’t say anything.
When Remus and Sirius showed up Barty started making comments on how fit Remus was and as much as Regulus enjoyed watching Sirius get worked up he couldn’t take it right now. He grabbed his notebook and a pack of cigarettes and excused himself to go out.
When he lit his cigarette and sat down he glared at his journal. He knew that the songs in it were very good and that people would love whatever he performed but he hated the hold that Rastaban still had on him. He needed someone to vent to. He needed to tell someone what had happened without the pitying looks and touches.
Like his thoughts had been read, he heard the door creak open and out walked James Potter. Regulus didn’t even have to look up to know it was him. The way the door creaked open and the silence that followed was a dead giveaway.
Regulus basked in the silence for a few moments before deciding to talk.
“Can I help you, Potter?”
Regulus still couldn’t see him but he knew that he was smiling. “That depends, can I have a smoke?”
Regulus rolled his eyes and looked up. He didn’t want to get his pack back out and he also didn’t want James to feel welcome so he held out his half smoked cigarette with a snarky smile.
Much to his surprise, James bent down and took a long drag before blowing the smoke in Regulus’s face.
“What the fuck?” Regulus said, batting the smoke away from his face.
James laughed and settled down next to Regulus.
“No but really,” Regulus said, “What do you want?”
“Come on Regulus, can’t I just want to see you?” James asked innocently. “I was just wondering where you were and I came out and saw you sitting here all broody and so I thought I’d see what was wrong.”
Regulus glared at him. “Nothing is wrong.”
“You know you can tell me.” James assured. “I won’t tell anyone and as we have already established, I am a very good listener.”
Regulus sighed. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
James quirked an eyebrow. “How about you tell me why you would have a mental breakdown on stage performing a song out of that book.” he said, pointing to the green journal on Regulus’s lap.
Regulus considered this for a moment. “There are only a few people who know about this and Sirius is not one of them so if you tell him I will make sure they never find your body, understand?”
James broke out into a grin which Regulus found to be a rather strange reaction to have after receiving a death threat. “Yes, I understand.”
“Good. Also, if you interrupt I will stop talking. Also, don’t look at me until I'm finished.”
James nodded eagerly and turned his head away from Regulus.
Regulus took a deep breath and started. “Sirius, as you know, ran away when I was fourteen. He of course had every right to but despite that, it hurt. A lot of shit went down after his departure. My parents got worse, which is saying something and because of this I stopped talking to anyone. I would go to school and barely participate in class, I would go on walks instead of going to lunch and I would run in the opposite direction if I saw any of my friends. I was worried that they would pity me or I don't know, try to help. I knew that there was nothing that they could do and I didn’t want them to see me like that.
As Regulus continued he felt James tense. “Anyways, throughout this, there was one person who I would talk to. He was sort of part of my friend group in Beauxbatons but he wasn’t in our house so he never got super close to the others. I don’t know why I felt like I could trust him but I did and he helped me a lot during the first year. He even encouraged me to stop ignoring the others. His name was Rastaban Lestrange.”
Regulus flinched a little saying the name. “So basically, Rastaban meant a lot to me. He helped me cover bruises and cuts and he would talk me down when things would get really bad. When we were sixteen we started dating. I don’t really remember how it started but it was really nice for a while. I say for a while because when we were 17 he started becoming very controlling and manipulative. I didn’t realize this for the longest time because he had always been the one to tell me that my parents were controlling and so when he did it I didn’t even realize. My friends, the ones you know, would tell me constantly that he was awful but I didn’t listen. He would always text me and ask me who I was with and what I was wearing and he would get mad over the smallest things. He made me stop talking to Barty for an entire month when Barty came out. I still thought he was just being protective of me like he had been when we were younger.
Regulus closed his eyes as he recalled the next part. “I realized a bit too late that what he was doing wasn’t normal. He would make comments about my appearance and I would eagerly listen to every single thing that he said. I changed my hair because he said it was too long. I started wearing baggier clothes because he said I dressed like a slag. Sometimes I would skip meals, many meals because he would make comments about my body. Eventually he got aggressive. There was one night in particular that he- he uh,”
Regulus was breaking down. He felt a choked sob come out and suddenly an arm wrapped around his waist. “Hey,” The voice soothed. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. Just breathe.”
Regulus shook his head. “I have to- I have to finish.”
James nodded but didn’t let Regulus go.
“He hit me and that was when I realized that this wasn’t a healthy relationship. The one person that I thought would always protect me hurt me. When I tried to break up with him it got very bad and I’m not going to go through the details but I ended up in the A&E. By some stroke of luck Alphard was my emergency contact so when I was hospitalized he was called. When he showed up he was appalled and insisted that I go and live with him so I did. He also told me that he was going to put me in eating disorder treatment but I was only there for a week before he fell ill. I was with him when he died and because of him I reconnected with Sirius but I made Alphard promise to not tell Sirius what had happened.
Finally taking a breath he relaxed into James’s arms which were still wrapped tightly around him. “In some awful and twisted way I am still thankful for Rastaban because without him I wouldn’t have ever reconnected with Sirius but all the songs in this book were written while we were together or right after I was hospitalized.”
The two fell silent and Regulus could not believe that he had just told James all of that.
“Holy shit Regulus.” James breathed. “You are incredible.”
Regulus pulled away from James and looked up at him with confusion. “What? No I am not.”
James smiled lightly. “You absolutely are. You are incredibly brave. Not just because you survived all of that and came out successful but also because you’re able to talk about it and willing to sing about it. I can see why your fans love you. You give them something real, something that I’m sure so many of them can relate to. You are a marvel.”
Regulus was shocked. He was sure that James would go running once he learned. He expected most people to run when they found out. Not once had anyone called him brave for what he had been through.
“Um, thank you.” Regulus choked out
“Don’t thank me.” James said with a light smile. “It’s true.”
Regulus stared at James for a minute. He was looking at him in some kind of adoration, that much was obvious.
What wasn’t obvious was why Regulus was leaning closer to him. It wasn't obvious why Regulus was grabbing James’s chin.
It became obvious all at once when Regulus touched his lips to James.
He was kissing James Potter.
James Potter was kissing him back.
Until he wasn’t.
“Regulus, stop.” James said although his tone wasn’t matching his words. “I feel like I’m taking advantage of your vulnerability.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “I kissed you idiot. Now kiss me back.”
And so James did. James moved his head and crashed his lips back into Regulus with a kind of eagerness that Regulus, against his better judgment, returned.
The kiss started soft but slowly turned rough rather quickly. James slipped his hand from Regulu’s chin to his waist and brought him up onto his lap, deepening the kiss. The second that Regulus’s lips split open James takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in and Regulus rapidly tears down all his walls.
Before Regulus’s thoughts can catch up to his actions, his hands are in James’s hair and he is being snogged rather fiercely. He ignores his brain that is telling him rather loudly to stop and he loses track of time. In fact, he forgets about everything other than the lovely heat of James’s mouth. He feels trapped but not in a bad way. He is perfectly content to stay right where he is until James decides to release him.
That is until he hears the door open rather slowly and then everything comes undone. He quickly climbs off of James’s lap and stands up. The door opens to reveal Pandora.
“Oh good. We were wondering where you had gone. You’ve been gone ages and we need to-” Pandora stopped, looking at James then back up at Regulus. “Oh, I see. Hi James.”
“Hi Pandora.” James said, rather softly.
“Well, Regulus, you best come. The serpents are on soon.” Pandora said with a wicked smile. “Oh, and you might want to fix your hair. You look rather disheveled.”
Regulus glared at her as the door closed. He turned back at James who was still looking rather dazed.
“Reg-”
“No.” Regulus shook his head. “Not right now. I have to go.”
And so he left James slumped back against the brick wall and quickly redid his eyeliner after making a few threats to Pandora to ensure she wouldn’t tell anyone.
As the band stood on the sidelines Regulus couldn’t concentrate. He couldn’t think of anything except for James. James who he was supposed to hate. James who he didn’t hate, no even a little.
Just James.
_______________
James was absolutely fucked. He knew that he had a small crush on Regulus. He found him attractive and witty and funny and he had the voice of an angel but he didn’t know how far it went. He didn’t know he could fall that hard in so little time.
All through the concert he was having trouble focusing. Well, that isn’t exactly true. He was having trouble focusing on taking pictures of the whole band and not just Regulus.
Regulus was unbearably sexy and now that James had kissed him he knew he was at the point of no return.
‘No. Not right now.’ Regulus had said. Did that mean he regretted it or was he just embarrassed that Pandora had seen them. It didn’t really matter because even if he did regret it James was sure he would spend the rest of his life pining desperately after him.
God, how pathetic was he? One kiss and he was gone.
When they finally got to the last song James was somewhat relieved. He needed to talk to Regulus. He needed to be alone.
The song was lovely but the lyrics were absolutely heartbreaking. Now that James knew the story behind the fucker it was about, it meant that much more.
If changing my clothes would make you like me more
If changing my hair would make you care
Then i’d grab the kitchen scissors and cut myself to slivers for you
If James ever saw Rastaban he would destroy him. He already had violent thoughts about the blacks and while Regulus’s story furthered that he had a new hatred for this man he had never met.
You take every part of me
All of the things you need
Then the rest you discard
I look in the mirror, now I’m just a Jigsaw
All I did just to make you happy
Still you don’t even fucking love me
James would have to ask Pandora or maybe Evan for a picture of this guy just so if he ever saw him in the street he could give the bastard what he deserved.
All I did just to make you happy
Still you don’t even fucking love me
Killing parts of myself to fit you
Clear as shit I was not the issue
If I made you like me, would I even like myself
Pointing out my flaws doesn’t help
When the song was over and the band did their goodbyes James got backstage as fast as he could.
When he got into the green room Regulus wasn’t there.
“He went back to the hotel already.” Pandora whispered. “He said he wasn’t feeling well but really, he’s panicking. Don’t take it personally please. He is going to avoid you and his feelings for a little while. It’s just how he is.”
James deflated a little. He should have known that it wouldn’t be simple with Regulus but he was happy to have taken a step.
Unfortunately for Regulus, James was very good at making himself unavoidable and even better at getting people to talk to him.
As he was formulating his plan, Remus, Sirius and Marlene walked in.
“So,” Marlene boomed. “Where to next?”
Evan grinned. “Our next stop is Belgium.”