The end of something beautiful.
Everything went to normal. Regulus was back at his dorm. James was taking care of him , he made sure he ate and was okay. They haven't talked about any of it again, not the Mark, not the cuts and not their relationship.
They didn't want to but they knew they would have to talk eventually.
Or they do not but in that case, the weirdness in their friendship would stay there.
James made very clear by his actions that he was no longer interest in Regulus, at least Reg thought that.
All James did was check on him if he's doing fine, which is sweet but Regulus hated the thought that that's the reason he's doing all this.
One could think that he loves him and cares about him so he just takes a good care of him.
But lately it feels more like James feels obligated to do it.
Well of course he cares about him, Regulus never doubt that. It just seems like James doesn't realise that he does not have to do it, that it is not his obligation.
Usually James is the one keeping the conversation going but he stopped doing that, he usually just sits next to Regulus in the Great Hall during the meals quietly.
It started feel very strange so Regulus happened to be the one asking all the dumb questions James always asked him, Regulus is the one who's asking about James's day now and making the stupid jokes.
It's shame that James haven't laughed at any of those jokes he made.
Regulus understood that he is not in place to joke around with the thing on his hand, but he still deep down hoped that he's just so not funny and not that James actually does not want to talk to him like he used to .
It seemed that their relationship won't ever be the same.
James didn't ignore Regulus like that on purpose, he just couldn't turn back to the normal after all of that and he did not want to let Sirius down and he still cared about Regulus so he continued to check on him.
It was actually quite exhausting.
He sat there next to him every fucking day twice a day, every lunch and dinner. Breakfast he was with Barty and Regulus because James had quidditch.
At first he thought that Regulus will reject his offer of doing all of that taking care of him and checking on him.
Because that is exactly what he does. He does not like people treating him like he needs someone to take care of him but when James suggested this he agreed even before he could properly think about it.
These meals became the only time they talked.
James was just so exhausted of all this , of acting like everything is fine.
He did not confront Regulus about the Mark again but that didn't mean that he didn't keep his distance from all of this emotional stuff.
"You okay ?" Regulus asked during the lunch.
"Yeah sorry I zooned out for a second" James apologies and continues eating his food.
"So how was the quidditch practise ?" Regulus asks but all he gets is -" Yeah it was fine" from James.
They were silence for another minute.
"You know you don't have to do this ? If you don't want to James" Regulus said after a while of unbearable silence.
"What?" James asks because he was not in much of a good mood in the moment. He was like that often now.
"I'm okay James, the eating thing was just my stupid way of coping with stress and I'm fine now so you don't have to sit with me every day " Regulus whispers and James looked up at him.
"I mean sure if you don't want me to " Is James's answer, very dry..
"No I- God James I can see that you're clearly very annoyed by my company so I'm just telling you that it is not your obligation to sit with me every meal. You can go to sit with your friends and still check on me from a distance. It's not that I wouldn't want your company, but if you keep sitting here and look like it's torture I really do not want you to be here" Regulus said, he was avoiding this for a while because he just hoped he can fix things. He hoped he can get James to talk to him or at least smile at him like genuinely not the forced smile he gave him every time he got up from the table with the words 'see you later' .
Now it felt like it's hurting him more to keep trying then let it go.
He would rather saw James happy with his friends then sitting here like a pile of misfortune.
"Will you be fine if I won't ?" James asks, Regulus kind of hoped James would refuse but this was the right thing to do and he knew it. He just let himself hope that James would assured him that he will stay and that he'll apologise for not talking to him and stuff.
It was really unfair of him to want that and he knew it but he couldn't help it.
"I'll be just fine with Barty and Evan" Regulus said still kind of hoping that James will change his mind because if he won't sit next to him anymore, that'll be it .
The end probably.
The end of their relationship? Friendship ? Whatever.
"Okay" James says instead and Regulus's gaze is suddenly much more sad then it ever was .
"Okay" Regulus nodded.
James stood up from the table "Well take care, I'm sorry for being shitty friend lately, but I don't think I will ever be completely over this" Regulus's hearth just skipped a beat.
Why does that sound like goodbye.
Like a proper goodbye.
The kind of goodbye when you know the person is not going to be in your life anymore.
What was he supposed to say now ?
He wanted to beg him to stay, but that was pathetic after he just told him to go basically.
But he knew it was the best thing to do now.
"I know - It's okay" Regulus answers after a minute. His eyes are wet and a tear comes down his face.
James wanted to hug him. He wanted to put his arms around him and tell him that he won't ever leave him but he can't promise him that.
He probably promised him somewhen in the past.
It's a shame that he couldn't keep the promise.
"You can still come up to me if something is bothering you okay? Just don't expect much from me because I just can't do it now, or ever "
That made Regulus cry even more, he tried to stop it, he really did but it was just impossible to keep those tears inside when they were tearing out with every James's word.
Regulus gave him few gentle nods as he was trying to make the tears stop falling.
James stepped closer to him and indicated that he could hug him. Regulus immediately jumped at the chance, and suddenly James was holding him in his arms.
"this is the end. Isn't it ?" Regulus asks still in James's arms.
"Probably yeah" James admits and it hurts, it hurts so fucking much.
This is the end.
How could something so beautiful became so painful.
Now it was the end of something beautiful.
And both of them knew it.