I do like French actually
"Reggie ?" Barty wakes him up with a plate in his palms.
"Why are you waking me up ?" Regulus looked up annoyed and saw the food Barty was giving him.
"I said I don't want anything, what are you ? My mother ?" That was kinda funny since Regulus's mum wouldn't care at all about things like these.
"Well explain this to your brother's best mate, he practically stuffed the food into my hand" Regulus laughed a bit. Freaking Potter always so caring , he thought to himself.
"Okay put it here I'll take it later" Regulus gasped and turned around.
"I can throw it away if you want " Barty offered and Regulus shook his head. "Leave it here I may eat some of it " He said half asleep already.
---
"So is he - Is he okay?" Sirius asked when James entered the room. "He's fine" James smiled slightly and Sirius stopped him.
"Fine ?? How fine ? Is he like hurt but now he's fine or why haven't he been at classes ? What does he eat ? Have you talk to him ?"
"Padfoot calm down I'll tell you okay ? We talked a bit ,he's fine, he isn't hurt. He had fever and I just run into Barty and Evan in the great hall and told them to bring him food, also he wrote you a letter " James handed the letter and Sirius and he opened it and read it. He smiled and stood up and hugged James.
"Thank you James " He smiled so happily.
…
Regulus woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, he was all sweaty and still kind of frightened from the nightmare.
Sirius always tough him how to avoid being scared even after you wake up. He always told him to go to Sirius's room, and it worked every time.
Every time Regulus had a nightmare he would go to Sirius's room and tucked up with him in his bed and suddenly everything was alright. But Sirius isn't here, well not exactly.
Regulus got up from the bed and hesitated for a while. He was quite hungry. He hasn't eaten anything in 3 days.
He took the plate from dinner Barty brought him and left the room with it.
He headed to the Astronomy tower to see Sirius…
He can look after him there like he always used to, now from the sky.
Regulus done this quite often, the reason he was spending so much time in the Astronomy tower was watching Sirius's star.
He sat there on the floor and watched the sky. It was beautiful and he needed to see Sirius after all.
Regulus still felt the fever on him, his head was like a huge rock and even though it was night and he was just in a sweatshirt, it was even colder than it should be.
He just sat there eating the mashed potatoes even though it tasted a bit like a garbage, it was cold but that's understandable since he left it on the table for like seven hours.
Suddenly someone opened the door behind him and that was when Regulus knew he was fucked. It must have been Flinch or some Teacher.
Regulus turned around and saw James Potter standing in front of the door.
"What the hell are you doing here ? You almost got me a heart attack " Regulus sit back down, it was weird how comfortable he felt with James after yesterday.
Regulus was surprised when he found himself feeling so much better in James's presence than alone.
"I thought you might be here, and I couldn't sleep so I thought I'll stop by" James said so casually like it's a normal thing to just spend the night at the Astronomy tower.
Normally Regulus would insist that James will leave but now he didn't care that much.
" Why couldn't you sleep ?" Regulus asked, mostly because of the unbearable silence but he maybe cared a little bit.
" I don't know - I was actually thinking about you"
"About me ?" Regulus sounded surprised and his voice went up.
"Yeah well about what I said to you when you told me I know nothing about you, it was a bit embarrassing for me wasn't it ? How I named all these things I noticed about you- It could look like I'm obsessed with you and creeping around you but I just - you know I just like to observe people I find interesting "
"Oh you find me interesting ?"
"Of course I do - I mean how could I not " Regulus smiled and looked away.
"Well I'm quite boring " He said after.
"Yeah and I'm the queen of England" James joked and Regulus laughed out loud for the first time tonight.
They sat next to each other for a little longer and they talked and somehow they couldn't stop talking. It was so easy to talk to James Potter, it was like James listened to every single thing Regulus said and was genuinely interested in everything that leaves Regulus's mouth. It almost looked like he was amused even by the smallest things he told him.
James noticed that Regulus ate the food he brought with him, it made him smile.
"Are you cold ?" James asked when he looked at Regulus looking like he's about to freeze.
"Yes but It's fine-It's not like cold like cold it's just I'm cold all the time." James took off his jacket and gave it to him, he didn't protested, he knew it would be useless.
"Now you're freezing " Regulus says
"oh It's fine I'll just remember that, We were together. I forget the rest." James said still looking into the stars .
"What ?" Regulus sounded very surprised.
"Walt Whitman, It's Leaves of Grass " James explained.
"No I know who Whitman is -I just - I didn't know you read poems." Regulus was kinda shocked. He loved poems. He loved reading in general.
"Oh yeah I do- not much though"
"Who's your favourite ?" regulus asks suddenly. " I don't really have a favourite but Charles Baudelaire is really good you know.
"You read Baudelaire ?"
"Not in original though but in English, Sirius read it to me in French, not that I understood anything of it but it was beautiful" James answered quietly remembering the moment.
"Et pourtant vous serez semblable à cette ordure, A cette horrible infection, Etoile de mes yeux, soleil de ma nature, Vous, mon ange et ma passion " Regulus continued saying th epoem in French, he looked at James, he was just looking at him and listening to him. "Oui, telle vous serez, ô la reine des grâces,Apres les derniers sacrements, Quand vous irez, sous l’herbe et les floraisons grasses, Moisir parmi les ossements" He paused again to look at James if he isn't boring him, he didn't seem bored at all, he looked at him like he was some kind of angelic person it made Regulus blush a little. "Alors, ô ma beauté! dites à la vermineQui vous mangera de baisers,Que j’ai gardé la forme et l’essence divine De mes amours décomposés.." He stopped and instead of at James he looked into the sky ,on the stars.
"it was beautiful" James said still amused by all of it. "It wasn't the whole thing - I like the last part mostly " Regulus said still not looking into James's eyes. He would probably die from making the eye contact right now.
"You have to teach me French once " James said not even thinking what he's saying just looking into the stars mindlessly. And Regulus's mind stopped for a second. It wasn't really important but James's words made him think about it , about this . Are they friends now ? Or is it just today because Sirius told him to check on him ? The thought of being James's friend scares Regulus maybe as much as not talking to him like that ever again.
"I'm sure Sirius will teach you if you ask nicely " Regulus said not even processing what he just said really.
"Oh he - he doesn't really like using his French at all, he used to like it but he grow to hate it throw the years " James said sadly.
"What makes you think I don't hate it as much as he does ?"
"You -? Oh sorry I didn't know - that was foolish of me sorry " James apologised when he realised that Regulus comes from the exact same place as Sirius and if French was some kind of connected with all their family issues and Regulus is still living there, it's probably even harder for him..
"No it's - it's fine I do like French actually - a lot " He didn't know why did he kinda argued the fact of him disliking French. He always adored the language, he adores every language. Talking with another language it is like a superpower. Knowledge is so powerful thing. He could never grow to hate it no matter how much connected it was with the Black's family .
"Can I ask you something ?" James asks nervously "You can try" Regulus said not sounding much happy about it. It will be some awful question when he asked if he could ask.
"Can we be like - like friends ? " This was probably the last thing Regulus expected, he expected James to ask about his family or his trauma or his health condition but that - that really took him out of guard.
" You already have friends and one of them happened to be my brother" Regulus answers dryly, he does not know how to deal with that question at all.
What does it even mean to be friend with someone ? Friendship is kinda useless isn't it ? You are just feeling obligated to interact with that person and shit. It's like a bond that makes you do things you do not want to do.
"Oh come on so I can't have more friends ? Besides this is different ,me and Sirius and Remus and Peter we know each other since the very beginning of the school. We basically know everything about each other, I just love getting to know you , I love listening to you talking about everything you like and don't like and listening to you talking in French and looking at you it is just so new and exciting, why won't we be friends ? "
"I don't do friends really " Regulus answers and second later he realises that it sounds terrible that is not what he wanted to say.
"you don't do friends ? What about Barty , Evan ? Or Pandora ?"
"Barty and Evan are roommates, we basically don't talk to each other unless we need anything and Pandora is just a girl I talk to in class, that doesn't make us friends "
" Would they see it the same way ?" James asked and Regulus happened to not know the answer.
"I guess so, we just talk sometimes it's not friendship, in friendship people rely on each other, that's absurd about it I don't want anyone to rely on me . "
"Friends are people who make each other laugh and who talk about every single shitty thing that happens and just spending time together doing all these things doesn't make you obligated or anything. I want nothing from you, I do not rely on you if it helps " James smiled and Regulus did not know what to say.
He just knew he did not wanted to be James's friend.
He stood up and handed the jacket back to James. He seemed sad. He did not wanted to make him feel sad. That was the thing. He just keeps making people feel terrible.
"goodnight James " He said when he left.
He headed back to the dorm and let himself feel all the mixed emotions inside of him.