weakness sucks
"Have any of you guys saw Regulus this week ?" Sirius asks, sitting in the great hall looking for him around the room.
"No, why ?" Peter says and the others shake their head too.
" I dunno' , he's been missing all the meals for entire week " Sirius gasps looking at Remus for comfort. Remus is looking at him too, he kick Sirius's foot under the table gently and Sirius smiles at him.
They go back to their dorm afterwards and Sirius lays in his bed and Remus joins him after a second. James with Peter went to library together.
"Maybe Barty or Evan brings him food, or Pandora she seems to be nice " Remus is trying to comfort Sirius but he doesn't seem better or anything.
"I watched all of them since I noticed and they brought him dinner on Monday but that’s all Remus.. What if he's not doing good. What if he came back from home and he has no one who can help him heal the wounds " Sirius cries out but he is still holding onto the thought that Regie is fine, he has always been fine after some time.
"I'm sure he is gonna take care of himself Sirius" Remus said gently and Sirius looks at him.
"Remus, you have to go check on him please. He won't let me but he could let you please Moony please I have to know that he's alright, I need to know he's not hurt" Sirius begged him and Remus would really want to help " I don't think he would let me in either besides I can't even go through the common room when I don't know the password.
"What about James ?? He is a friend with Pandora right ? He could get in "
"He is friend with Pandora since when ?" Remus couldn't really believe him because he has never seen these two talk to each other.
"James is friend with everyone isn't he ?" Sirius is quite right James is in fact very friendly with every person he meets, it doesn't matter what colour of tie they wear as long as they are acting nicely toward him or others .
--
"Oh so you really thought about the herbology homework ?" Peter asks surprised, maybe because he didn't even knew there was a homework like that.
"Well of course I did and don't worry I've already done yours , here " James hand the homework to Pete and he smiled. " Thanks James ! I knew you wouldn't let me suffer doing it.
Sirius run into the door and James with Peter almost jumped out of their chairs.
"Sirius ? What happened??" James looked at Sirius seriously worried .
"It's Regulus ! I need you to check on him . Can you get inside ? You're friend with that Pandora girl right ?" James looked at him surprised, he did not expect that from Sirius.
"I mean yeah technically -"
"Brilliant could you go right now ?" James can't say no because he sees the worry in Sirius's eyes and he just wants to make sure his brother is fine so James just nodded.
" Here take the invisible cloak " Remus says but James shakes his head.
"I won't need it "
"Trust me Regulus won't just let you in " Sirius says and Remus hand him the cloak again, James took it with him and left.
--
James went to the Slytherin dorms and he actually had no idea how to get in because him and Pandora were …well not really friends they just talked sometimes but it was quite far away from the 'oh hey could you let me in to your dorm I want to see your friend that does not want to see me back ' friendship.
He used the cloak after all. He saw some Barty and Evan going throw the door to the Slytherin common room and James run throw before it got closed.
James came closer to the door to the dorm Regulus should be and knocks.
Sirius probably meant to go inside under the cloak quietly and just look if he looks fine . But honestly if he have done that he would felt terrible for crossing someone's privacy like that , even tho he technically already sneak into the slytherin house so ..
"Barty ?"Regulus asks behind the door and James doesn't know what to do . He could say 'oh hey no it is me James ' or just pretend to be Barty ? Or -
"Can't you just take your keys with you god '' Regulus opened the door and saw James.
"What are you doing here Potter ? Is Sirius with you ?" Regulus asked a bit anxiously. They have this kind of weird relationship. They love each other's as brothers but in an actual life they would rather not see themselves but they still care about each other a lot but Regulus so hoped that Sirius is not here right now .
"no - no Sirius It's just me " James answered and smiled, like he expected Regulus to smile back but he obviously never did . Regulus did not look okay though. His hair were greasy and his eyes looked really tired. He was wearing grey sweatshirt and black sweatpants. He looked really tired in general and even though his hair looked greasy it was still kind of pretty on him.
"So do you need something specific or Sirius just wants you to check on me and if that is the case you can leave right now and tell him I'm perfectly fine " Regulus said and smiled. Not a honest smile but the sarcastic one saying 'good and now get the fuck out of here '.
"the second but I'm here to make sure you're doing fine so I won't lie obviously" James said sharply expecting that Regulus will shut the door in front of him but he did quite opposite.
He dragged James inside his dorm and shut the door behind him.
"sorry- Mulciber was there , Can't risk him seeing you in front of my door " Regulus said a little bit nicer this time, maybe because he realized that he dragged him there a bit more violently then he meant to. James hit his head a little bit but for some reason he didn't say anything about it so Regulus refused to do more apologies.
"so?" James asked, looking around Regulus's room. He never was in his room before, maybe even Sirius wasn't there .
There was a lot of posters but they didn't seem to belong to Regulus, these were probably Evan's .
On Regulus's night stand was a lot of potions, James couldn't tell what was it but it looked like some pain potions but some weird kind of them.
Beside the window there was a telescope and there was a lot of books, they had this huge library here and a lot of paintings.
"so what ?" Regulus sounds offended again, he feels like James wants something from him and he doesn't even know what is it . It irritates him.
"So how are you doing ?" James asks looking right into Regulus's eyes , that makes it quite difficult for Regulus. He hates eye contact really hates.
"Already told you I'm brilliant that's all you want to know so you can leave as soon as Mulciber is gone. You will hear him shut the door " Regulus answers dryly and continues walking to his table where he sits down and starts writing something. A letter. It looks kind of like a letter.
"You don't look much brilliant" James says and Regulus ignores him and keeps writing the letter.
" I'm not - If I wasn't asking for Sirius. If I promised that I won't tell him anything, would you tell me ?" James looks away for the first time , it looks like he's maybe a bit scared of Regulus's reaction. He wanted to help Regulus, maybe it was because he's Sirius's brother and maybe it was because he looked so tired and so in need of the help but James would lie to himself if he didn't admit that it had lot to do with the way Regulus looked at him and the way he talks and the way he looks so handsome even though he looks so exhausted. He always admired Regulus. His cleverness and beaty at ones.
"I said I'm fine James" He called him James and James's hearth just melted. Now he was fully determined to stay and find out what is wrong.
"You look tired " James observes quietly. " yeah maybe because I'm tired. People get tired sometimes Potter" Regulus said sharply and stopped writing the letter or note or whatever he was up to.
"You weren't at any of the classes"
"I wasn't feeling good" he said dryly again.
"And now you're feeling good ?"
"yes awesome " Regulus said ironically.
"So you will go to grab some dinner ?" James looked at him and Regulus was a bit surprised by the question but he went with it.
"I'm not hungry " Regulus said and right after that James heard the rumbling in Regulus's stomach. He didn't say anything though..
"I can bring you food " James said right after.
"If I wanted some I would get it myself thanks "
"Did something happened ? With your parents or something ?" James said gently but Regulus just rolled his eyes.
"Oh no - no don't do that - don't act like you know anything about me Potter. My problems are none of your or Sirius's business so stay the fuck away from me !"
"I know nothing about you ? You would be surprised how much I know about you. I know that you're smart, not normal smart but really, really smart. You never raise your hand but you always know the answer. You love to read mainly because it feels like and escape from the world to you because the actual world sucks. You sneak out of here every night to go to the Astronomy tower, stargazing I suppose. You have few friends but you're afraid of losing them maybe because of your parents. You're scared of losing them too even though they are terrible to you, now you feel like you're not capable of finding someone who will be with you forever so you probably believe that you're gonna end up all alone but it didn't really scare you that much because you can imagine the life just with yourself , that doesn't mean that you don't feel bad about it. And away from the awful things. You love your brother even though you won't tell him , he loves you too but you two are too stubborn to do anything about it. You are actually quite funny at least I think so from what I've heard and your eyes are really pretty like the ocean after a storm, really dark but there's not much darkness behind it. You hate eye contact. Sometimes I look at you in the classroom when I'm admiring how smart you are and you notice me but you look away as soon as possible, same as a minute before you looked away sooner then you could look at me properly. I noticed you do that with everyone even your friends so it is not just me you don't like to look at. Now you have probably gone throw something traumatic and you don't want to tell me but that's okay I'm not here to traumatize you even more so I'll stop, I just care about you too that is not just about Sirius but you don't have to tell me It's fine. I just want you to be fine. Also Pandora thinks you have been in relationship with Barty in the fifth grade but I can't tell if it is a rumour or not " James breathes out and Regulus just stand there, processing all pf the things James just said.
"I- I have a fever James " Regulus said after a few seconds
"what ?"
" I'm honestly fine, I wasn't at home or anything you and Sirius assume, I have a fever that's all but yah the others you got quite right "
"oh my god you dated Barty ??" Regulus laughs for the first time since James came here.
"oh not that one , that was a rumour "
"so - you are feeling fine ?" James asks
"you already asked ten times James my answer won't change"
" I know - I just - I'll ask one more time and then I'll stop and I'll believe you . Are you okay ?"
" I am very Okay James except the terrible headache from the fever so I would love to go back to bed if you don't mind"
"Okay I'll get out so you can rest again - I -um Is it okay if I tell Sirius you have fever or do you want me to not say anything or -" Regulus smiled a little, he probably really meant it that he wouldn't tell him
"give him this and yes you can tell him I have a fever - maybe he stops freaking out after " Regulus hand the letter to James.
" Are you able to leave unnoticed or do you want me to go with you and make sure noone is there ?" Regulus asked . He was so precious James thought.
"No I got it, you rest " James said and then he left.
Regulus stare on the door for a little longer and then he went back to sleep.
'
He hates lying to James, to Sirius too but what should he say ? Oh yeah I'm terrible Malfoy just raped me in my own bed and now I can't even take a shower ? Probably not.