Chapter 17
Suddenly Scorpius was not so focused on his book anymore—he rather focused on Albus hands on his waist slowly sliding up his back—his lips on his and his hair tickling his forehead. And when his lips suddenly touched Scorpius neck—he stops thinking entirely.
He would never feel more comfortable with someone who’s not Albus. But when Albus slowly moved down, he knows what’s going to happen next. And that’s the moment his thoughts came back to him all at once.
Yes, he feels comfortable with him, but he’s not ready for the next step. Before Scorpius could say a word, the door was almost kicked open and Timothy was staying in the room.
The boys jumped up and Albus almost fell form the bed. „Oh, I didn’t—sorry bout that“ he said with a nervous laugh. Scorpius could feel his cheeks burning up in embarrassment. „I just wanted to copy your Homework, Scor“ he said
„On the table“ Scorpius voice was higher than usual and he covers up his face.
Albus Brust out laughing right after he left. „oh my god!“ Scorpius grounded. „I don’t think I can even look him in the eyes again“ he said while still covering his face
„Its not like we did something—you know“ Albus said
„But still! He saw you on top of me! That’s enough to never speak to him again“
„So he knows you‘re a bottom, who cares?“
„I do!“ Albus laughed again Scorpius tried to stay calm.
But he keeps thinking about how it would be to sleep with Albus. They‘ve been dating for about two months now, if you count summer then it’s four months. But Scorpius never did something like that, he literally has zero experience in that case and it makes him nervous even to think about it. He never even thought he would sleep with anyone, but now that Albus seems ready to do that, Scorpius just has to suck it up and do it.
How bad would that be?
<3
Scorpius literally dragged Eudora to his dormitory right after they finish class. He knows Albus has potions right now and for his sake they have free time now.
„what’s the rush?“ Eudora asked when Scorpius slammed the door shut and leaned against it
„Albus wants to have sex“ he said
„Congrats?“
„No, no, absolutely not“ he said. „I‘m not ready yet but i‘m scared if I’m telling him, then-„ he exhaled Loudly and walked over to his bed to let him fall into it. „What if he leaves me?“
Eudora sats down besides him. „Why would he leave you?“ she asked. „Just tell him you’re not ready and he would understand. I mean, it’s Albus we‘re talking about“
„I know“ he said slowly. „But-i don’t think I’m ever going to be ready“
„What do you mean?“
„I mean, I don’t think sex is important in a relationship. That’s not what Love is about“ these words just slipped about of him, but they were the truth
Eudora of course noticed and couldn’t hide her smile. „You love him?“
„I haven’t told him yet, so shut your mouth“ that’s the first time he said it out loud, but he knows it’s too early for that. „Maybe after a few months, or even a year, we could try to have sex…but I first need more emotional connection. We‘re already pretty close, we‘ve always been, but it all feels so new and I need more time“
„Tell him“ she said. „And even tho, I think that has a name what you just described“
„I know, but I don’t like labels“ he said. „Of course, when I tell him he would understand, but I don’t want to hurt him. What if he thinks it’s his fault I don’t want to have sex? I could never do that to him“
„Jesus Christ, You’re an pretty bad overthinker“ she said and lade down Next to him. „Tell him: hey Lover, I really want to sleep with you, someday. But I don’t think I’m in that place yet and I think we should wait a little longer if it’s cool with you“
„First of all, I won’t call him lover. And second…that’s actually good“ he said
„I know, I’m awesome“
<3
The next few day, Scorpius never really tried to talk to his boyfriend—he was more avoiding him. He only went to the dorm with Eudora or Timothy. He also spent most of the day in the library or in classes and came back late at night.
He also used dumb excuses not to sleep in the same bed as Albus Mostly like. „I have a cold“ or „I don’t feel well“
It didn’t take long for Albus to realise what he’s doing, but he played along, he waited till Scorpius feels like telling himself.
But after five days, it was enough for him. Albus spendet the last few hours chasing Scorpius around the castle. When he asked others where he could be, they say a lot of different things and it seems like Scorpius moves the entire time around the castle. He decided to wait in the dorm. And when Scorpius finally arrived after hours, Eudora was with him.
„Can we talk?“ he asked and sat down on his bed. „Eudora, no offence but go away“ She gave Scorpius a smile like she knows what’s gonna happen next. So she left, and it felt like a decade they haven’t been alone together.
„What’s up?“ Scorpius asked nervous and sat down on his own bed
„You‘re avoiding me“
„I‘m not!“
„Yes you are! When was the last time we talked alone?“ he asked and really tried to hold back his anger. „Scorpius what is the matter? Do you wanna break up?“
„No! Absolutely not! Albus I-I don’t know how to explain it“ he said. There was a long pause between them were it’s seemed like Scorpius is thinking about an excuse. „I want to have sex with you“ he said
That honestly just came out of the blue and Albus didn’t really knew how to react to this. „Oh“ was the first thing he was able to say. „That’s…honest“
„I know you‘ve been trying, but we keep getting interrupted and I just wanted you to know that I want this“
„Then why were you avoiding me?“ Scorpius went quiet after Albus said that
He keeps opening and closing his mouth like he’s about to say something but nothing comes out. But when he stand up and moved over to Albus, he knew what’s going to happen next Scorpius
starts kissing him and slowly pushing him down on the bed. All the tension and touching came out of nowhere. It’s weird seeing Scorpius like this, Albus thinks. It feels like Scorpius is forcing himself to do that.
Albus felt Scorpius shacking hands on his cheek and just knew. „Scorpius“ he said quietly. „You don’t want to do that“
„Yes I do“
„Don’t lie to me“ Albus lightly pushed him away so he cloud sit up. „What’s really going on?“
He exhaled. „I know you want to do it“
„Well, maybe“ he said. „But just because I’m ready doesn’t mean you have to be“ he layed his hand on Scorpius and squeezed it lightly. „I already done that, I know that you feel nervous“
„You already-when?“ Albus shrunk.
„Two years ago“ he said and noticed Scorpius gaze changing into sadness. „But that doesn’t mean anything, I only did it with one guy“ he explained himself. „And if you‘re not ready to do that yet, I won’t do anything you feel uncomfortable with“
„The problem is, I don’t know how long it will take till I’m ready“ he said slowly. „And…I don’t want you to leave me“
Albus suddenly felt tears in his eyes. It break his heart that his boyfriend thinks he would leave just because they don’t have sex. „That’s not gonna happen, I promise“ he put his hand on the other boys cheek and gave him a kiss
<3
The first class with Madam Pomfrey seemed pretty chill. There were not a lot of students. Ryan Hayes was there, two girls from Hufflepuff and three from Ravenclaw. For some reason Polly Chapman was there too.
The first thing they learned were easy healing spells and Potions. Pomfrey talked a lot about the university she went and almost everyone seemed focused on her words, he wishes everyone was that in his normal classes. When they were done, Scorpius packed his stuff in his bag and was about to leave when Ryan stopped him
„Hey mate“ he said. „Eh haven’t talked in a while now, don’t you think?“
„Yea I nnoticed“ Scorpius said. „how are you?“
„I‘m good. And apparently you‘re good too? I heard you and Albus are dating?“ It doesn’t bother him that everyone knows, he’s proud to call Albus his Boyfriend.
„Yes“ he said with a bright smile They walked out of the door, when he saw Albus leaning against the wall his whole day got even better.
Ryan put his hand on his shoulder to say goodbye „Was that Ryan?“ Albus asked when he left. „I didn’t know he was taking that class too“
„Me neither. But I also never thought Polly Chapman would“ he said. They were walking back to their room when Scorpius noticed Albus gaze changed in a weird way.
He was staring at the floor without even trying to have a conversation with him. „What’s the matter?“ he asked
„Nothing“ his voice was toneless. „So, you‘re gonna spend every week with him?“
„Well, we do that class together. Other people are there too, sooo“ he said and Albus just nod. „Are you jealous?“
That offended Albus. „What? No! Why would I be jealous?“ his tone was higher than usual, so Scorpius knows he’s lying
He bumped him lightly with his shoulder to make him at least smile. „You are jealous“ he said and smiled
„Shut up!“ Scorpius layed his arm around his shoulders and gave him a kiss on the cheeks which made Albus blush.
„There’s no need to be jealous“ he said quietly in his ear. „He’s nothing compared to you“ Albus took Scorpius hand in his and they kept walking to their dorm.
They never hold hands around the castle, but that feeling is incredible. Albus kept watching Scorpius and how his hair looked soft and messy over his forehead. His hair was long enough it was touching his cheek and the little soft curls made his look even better.
„Scorpius“ Albus said quietly. He suddenly felt an urge to tell him. He was thinking about it since they started dating back in summer but thought it too early.
When he’s with Scorpius—he’s happy. He never felt like this before. „I-„ the words got stuck in his throat tho. „I really like you“ is all he could say
Something in Scorpius gaze was waiting for him to say it. „I really like you too“
they both haven’t used the words they wanted too, but they knew what the other boy means.