Inconveniently Yours

Elphaba had planned for a quiet night. She should have known better.

It was Friday—their last study session of the week for the project, and somehow, she had convinced herself that meant a productive evening. Glinda, apparently, had not gotten the same memo.

Or, more accurately, Crope, Tibbett, Boq, and Fiyero hadn’t.

Elphaba had just finished organizing her notes when the front door burst open, revealing a very smug-looking Crope and Tibbett, each holding suspiciously full brown paper bags. Boq trailed behind them, already looking exasperated, while Fiyero just grinned like he’d been waiting for this all week.

"Change of plans!" Crope announced, dropping the bags onto the kitchen counter.

Elphaba sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I don’t recall any plans involving you."

Glinda, from her spot on the couch, barely looked up from her compact mirror as she reapplied lip gloss. She was perched elegantly with her legs crossed, one foot bouncing idly. "Elphie, darling, it’s Friday. You didn’t seriously think we were just going to study, did you?"

"Yes, actually. Because that’s what this is—a study session."

Tibbett shook his head, already unloading bottles from the bag. "Boring. And completely against dorm bonding rules. We’re all here. It’s practically a requirement to have some fun."

Elphaba stared at them, unimpressed. "Oh, is that in the official Shiz handbook? Right after the clause about mandatory suffering?"

"Exactly!" Crope chirped, grabbing a stack of glasses. "Now, let’s get started."

Boq sighed, flopping onto the armchair beside the couch, arms crossed as if resigning himself to whatever chaos was about to unfold. "I’m assuming this means studying is out the window."

"Babe," Tibbett patted his knee sympathetically as he plopped onto the floor beside the coffee table. "It was never in the window."

Elphaba groaned, dropping into her usual chair—stiff-backed, placed deliberately away from the center of the group. Fiyero took his spot beside Glinda on the couch, one arm casually slung over the back of it. Crope sat cross-legged on the floor between the table and couch, while Tibbett leaned against Boq’s legs, looking far too comfortable.

"Fine," Elphaba muttered. "But if anyone pukes, I’m kicking you all out immediately."

Glinda hummed, swirling her drink. "Right. Now, what’s the game?"

Crope wiggled his brows. "Oh, I think it’s time for a good old-fashioned round of Never Have I Ever."

A collective groan and a few cheers went around the room.

Elphaba immediately shook her head. "Absolutely not."

"Absolutely yes!" Tibbett countered, already pouring shots. "Come on, Elphaba, live a little."

"I am living. And I’d prefer to keep my secrets secret."

Glinda smirked, adjusting her posture to lean slightly toward Elphaba. "What, scared?"

Elphaba shot her a glare. "Hardly. I just have no interest in whatever humiliating, alcohol-fueled nonsense you’re all about to participate in."

"Which sounds like fear," Fiyero added, grinning. "Which means you have to play now."

Elphaba exhaled sharply, sending a glare around the room. "Fine. But if this turns into some excuse to pry into my personal life, I’m leaving."

"Wouldn’t dream of it," Crope said innocently. Which meant he was absolutely going to pry.

Tibbett grinned and lifted his glass. "Alright! Rules are simple—if you've done the thing, you drink. No lying, no skipping turns. And if you refuse to answer, you take two drinks. Now…Never have I ever… kissed someone in this room!"

The reaction was instantaneous.

Fiyero laughed and drank immediately. Glinda hesitated—just for a fraction of a second—before she followed suit, sipping her drink like it was nothing.

Elphaba did not react. Did not move. Did not blink.

But her fingers tightened just slightly around her glass.

Boq groaned, already looking like he regretted agreeing to this. "You’re starting with that?"

"What? It’s a good one!" Tibbett defended.

Glinda, suddenly very interested in her manicure, refused to look in Elphaba’s direction. "Oh, please, it’s hardly scandalous."

Elphaba arched a brow. "Depends on who you ask."

Glinda glanced up at her then, something unreadable flickering across her face.

Elphaba held her gaze for a moment longer before purposefully setting her drink down. Untouched.

Crope gasped. "Ohhh, you’ve never kissed anyone in this room?"

Elphaba smirked. "What can I say? I have standards."

Glinda rolled her eyes, tilting her chin up. "And yet, you hang out with us."

"Exactly my point."

The group erupted into laughter, but the tension lingered—just beneath the surface, crackling like a spark that hadn’t quite ignited.

Glinda took another sip of her drink. Elphaba wasn’t looking at her anymore.

But she was very aware of her presence.

And, somehow, that was worse.

Crope, of course, wasn’t going to let the moment die so easily. "Alright, my turn!" He grinned mischievously. "Never have I ever… had a secret crush on someone in this room."

Glinda stilled. Barely.

Elphaba lifted a brow, unimpressed, but Crope only giggled, taking a long, dramatic sip of his drink. "Oh, please, like any of you can claim total innocence on this one."

Tibbett laughed and drank immediately. "I mean, look at us. We’re all gorgeous."

Fiyero rolled his eyes but took a sip, which made Crope shriek in delight. "Oh, who was it?"

Fiyero just smirked and shrugged. "Wouldn’t you like to know?"

Boq, predictably, downed his entire drink.

Crope fake-gasped, clutching his chest. "Oh, Boq! Who could it be?" He fluttered his lashes dramatically in Glinda’s direction, and Boq turned deep red.

Glinda, playing along, gave him an exaggerated wink. "Oh, sweetie, you could’ve just said something."

Boq groaned, covering his face. "I hate this game."

Elphaba, notably, did not drink. Nor did Glinda.

But the second Glinda realized she wasn’t drinking, she quickly grabbed her glass and forced herself to sip.

It was small. Innocuous. But Elphaba caught it. Of course she did.

And Glinda knew she had caught it because she could feel the weight of her stare, like something just beneath the surface was unraveling, but neither of them would acknowledge it.

Not now. Not yet.

Tibbett, apparently sensing the tension, clapped his hands together. "Moving on! My turn!" He grinned and took a moment to think. "Oh, I know—Never have I ever… snuck into a restricted area on campus."

Elphaba finally took a drink. So did Fiyero.

"Okay, what did you do?" Crope demanded, eyes bouncing between them.

Fiyero waved a hand lazily. "Borrowed a few things from the athletic department. Nothing major."

Elphaba smirked. "Rearranged the entire philosophy department’s bookshelves alphabetically by author’s first name."

Tibbett howled. "That’s evil!"

Glinda shook her head, watching her over the rim of her glass. "You are such a menace."

Elphaba just smirked. "You love it."

Glinda didn’t respond, but the way her lips curved—just slightly—was answer enough.

And yet, she was still gripping her drink just a little too tightly.

She had no idea how much longer this game would last. But she knew one thing

She was not nearly drunk enough for it.

Boq cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Alright, my turn, I guess. Never have I ever… lied to get out of a date."

Fiyero, Crope, and Tibbett immediately drank, no hesitation.

Glinda lifted her glass daintily. "Of course. It’s called tact."

Elphaba, to no one’s surprise, did not drink. She simply raised a brow at Glinda. "You mean to tell me you’ve never just said you weren’t interested?"

Glinda huffed. "I’m a lady, Elphie. I let them down gently."

Elphaba glared at the nickname. "By lying."

"By sparing their feelings."

"Same thing."

Fiyero, meanwhile, was laughing into his drink. "I once told a girl I was transferring to another university just so I wouldn’t have to break up with her."

Crope choked on his drink. "You didn’t!"

Fiyero grinned. "I absolutely did."

Boq sighed, rubbing his temples. "You are such a terrible person."

"And yet, still better than you at this game."

Boq groaned, looking pointedly at Glinda before rolling his eyes and taking a sip. Everyone noticed.

Tibbett smirked. "Boq, do we need to unpack something here?"

"No, we do not," Boq muttered, shrinking into his seat.

Fiyero, clearly enjoying the chaos, set his drink down and stretched. "Alright, my turn! Never have I ever… had a romantic dream about someone in this room."

Glinda almost dropped her drink.

The group erupted into laughter, Crope and Tibbett immediately taking exaggerated sips as Boq turned a shade of red previously unknown to mankind.

Fiyero, eyes glinting with mischief, smirked as he raised his own glass to drink.

Glinda gawked at him. "You absolute menace."

"What? You think I haven’t?"

"You’re disgusting."

"And yet, here you are, still sitting next to me."

Crope nudged Elphaba, grinning. "Oh come on, you’ve never had a scandalous dream?"

Elphaba, pointedly, did not drink.

Tibbett fake gasped. "So you’re telling me your subconscious has never betrayed you?"

Elphaba sipped her water. Slowly. "I’m telling you this game is ridiculous."

"Which means yes," Crope declared dramatically.

Elphaba rolled her eyes, but Glinda, for some reason, still wasn’t breathing properly.

Because the only thing worse than Elphaba saying yes—

Was the fact that she hadn’t.

Glinda took a long sip of her drink. Too long.

Tibbett clapped his hands. "Okay! Moving on! Glinda, it’s your turn."

Glinda snapped out of her thoughts, blinking rapidly. "Oh. Right. Um—Never have I ever…" She hesitated, then flicked her gaze toward Elphaba. Too quickly. "Never have I ever… skipped class for something completely ridiculous."

Elphaba drank.

Fiyero followed suit, of course, but all eyes were now on Elphaba.

Glinda smirked. "Oh? And what, pray tell, was so important you had to ditch?"

Elphaba set her glass down. "That’s not how the game works, Princess."

"I’m making it how it works."

Elphaba sighed dramatically. "Fine. I once skipped an entire afternoon of classes to re-organize a professor’s reference library just to prove them wrong about something."

Boq looked genuinely pained. "That is the most Elphaba thing I’ve ever heard."

"Thank you."

Glinda giggled, and Elphaba hated how much she liked that sound.

"Alright, Elphaba," Crope sing-songed. "Your turn. Make it good."

Elphaba smirked, eyes flicking to Glinda for just a fraction of a second. "Never have I ever… gone out of my way to piss off someone just because I could."

Glinda’s lips parted slightly. Oh.

Then, very slowly, she raised her glass towards Elphaba and took a sip.

Elphaba did the same.

The room erupted.

Crope, practically vibrating with excitement, leaned forward. "Alright, alright, we’ve danced around the fun stuff long enough. Time for some real questions. Never have I ever… hooked up with someone in a public place."

Fiyero and Tibbett drank immediately, exchanging grins.

Boq hesitated before groaning and taking a small sip. "It wasn’t even a real hookup, it was just—ugh, never mind."

Crope gasped dramatically. "Oh no, Boq?! Sweet, awkward Boq? We need details."

Boq shook his head furiously. "No, you do not."

Glinda, amused, tapped a manicured finger on her glass. "Well, well, Elphie, nothing to say?"

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "You think I have time for that nonsense?"

"Not even a scandalous little moment?" Crope wiggled his brows.

Elphaba just took a slow sip of water. "I don’t do scandal."

Glinda huffed, tipping back the rest of her drink before setting the glass down with a sharp click. "Tragic. I need a refill.”

Glinda went into the kitchen to mix herself something else. Why was her heart beating so fast after that last question? Thinking about Elphaba, with her hands on someone, in public. She shook herself and retuned right on time and took her seat next to Fiyero.

Tibbett, now fully on a mission, grinned. "Never have I ever… fantasized about someone I shouldn’t have."

Fiyero smirked as he drank.

Glinda was seriously questioning if Tibbett had just read her mind. She hesitated. Too long. But she drank anyway, keeping her expression neutral.

Elphaba did not drink.

Tibbett, of course, noticed immediately.

"Ohhh, come on, Elphaba, that’s a lie! Everyone has!"

Elphaba’s smirk was razor-sharp. "Some of us have self-control."

Glinda barely resisted the urge to scoff. Self-control, her ass.

Crope, thoroughly enjoying the unfolding tension, hummed thoughtfully. "Okay, okay—Never have I ever… had a dream so vivid I woke up confused."

Tibbett and Fiyero both drank.

Glinda, against her better judgment, drank too.

Elphaba, yet again, did not.

Glinda turned toward her slowly. "You mean to tell me you’ve never woken up questioning your entire life?"

Elphaba shrugged. "I wake up questioning my life every day. Just not because of a dream."

Glinda clenched her jaw. Infuriating.

Fiyero, smirking, stretched and cracked his neck. "Alright, last round. Make it good."

Glinda, still far too aware of Elphaba beside her, tapped a finger against her glass before looking Elphaba dead in the eyes. "Never have I ever… wanted something I knew I couldn’t have."

Silence.

Then, Elphaba drank.

So did Glinda.

And suddenly, the room wasn’t laughing anymore.